TOW a Guy Hits on Chandler

Snow day, a-whoohoo! Of course, it's 8:20 and I'm up already. I can never sleep late…pisses me off. I'm always tired, too. Oh well, it gives me time to accomplish the billion things I have to do today. I really needed this day off! Yay, so happy! Oh and I'm glad that people still like this…I was getting worried there for a sec. I mean, I post fics so that other people can enjoy them, so if no one likes them, then it's worthless. All right, let's get this show on the road. Enjoy!:)

          Monica and Chandler sat in Central perk, looking through a realtor magazine.

"Oooh," Monica exclaimed while circling a house.

"Oh my God," Chandler complained, "That's the 15th house!"

"So?"

"We don't have time to look at 15 houses."

"Well, I'll just pick my favorites to look at first."

"Ok, pick out your favorites."

Monica put the magazine close to her face and concentrated intensely. Chandler sipped his coffee as he watched her.

"Any luck?"

"This is hard."

"Ok…"

"I can't choose!" Monica cried.

Chandler wore a triumphant smile and quipped, "Shocker!"

She gave him an angry look and threw the magazine at him.

"You choose."

"Fine," he said as he looked through the magazine.

"Ok, this one," he said pointing to the first page, "This one…"

"Really, that one?"

"I thought that you loved all of them so much, so why would it matter which I choose?"

"Because you chose that one!"

"Fine, not that one." Chandler turned the page and pointed to another house, "This one better?"

"Ehh…it doesn't have a pool, I want a pool."

"A pool?! Do you know how expensive those are?"

"Yes…," Monica lied.

"Ok, there's the cost of chlorine, the water, servicing, cleaning, etc. Then there's all this work we have to put into it. Not to mention the insurance factor…I mean, what if some kid drowns?"

"Fine, no pool," Monica relented.

"There ya go."

"How 'bout a Jacuzzi?"

"How 'bout…not."

          A few minutes later, Joey entered the coffee house and sat down on the chair closer to the counter.

"What are you guys looking at?"

"Houses," Monica answered distractedly, while Chandler was drifting off to sleep.

"Chandler!" Monica yelled.

Chandler jumped up, "W…what?!"

Before Monica could answer, Joey started to chuckle.

"What?" Chandler asked, irritated.

"You should've seen you jump up. You looked like a frog would, ya know, if it were a human."

"Right, human frogs…what's next, cow pigs?"

"Oooh cow pigs, good idea!" Joey exclaimed, while writing on his hand.

"I'm not even going to ask…"

"Chandler!" Monica yelled again.

"Yes dear?" he asked, trying to hide his frustration.

"I've decided."

"Yeah? Great!" Chandler sighed in relief.

"Let me see!" Joey demanded, while snatching the magazine.

"Ehh…I like this one!" he said, pointing to another house.

"Ooooh, that's nice!" Monica decided, "How did I not see it?"

Joey shrugged while Chandler sighed, "Here we go again."

          A few days later, Monica and Chandler began their house search.

"Ok," the curly haired realtor explained, "Here's the first house."

She began to talk about the house, but both Chandler and Monica did not pay much attention to her babbling.

"Wow, look at that kitchen!" Monica exclaimed as she walked through the kitchen, which was equipped with two sinks and marble counters.

Once they toured the house, they made their way into the backyard.

"It's nice," Chandler commented.

"Yeah, it is," a man in the distance answered.

"Ahh!" Chandler screamed as he darted his head from side to side, "Who the hell was that?"

The man came up from the other side of the fence, "Hi, I'm the neighbor, John. You interested in the place?"

"Yes, we are," Monica replied, "Is there anything you could tell us about it?"

"Hmm…very nice area. I've been living here for twenty years, and the Misses and me love it here.

"Really?"

"Are you like Wilson or something?" Chandler joked.

"Excuse me?"

Monica rolled her eyes, "He's referring to the neighbor on the show Home Improvement."

"Never watched it."

"Really?"

"Chandler, what do you expect? You just watched it in order to see that kid…Jonathon Taylor Thomas."

"Did not!" Chandler defended, "I happen to find Tim Allen very amusing."

"Uh huh, sure."

"Well, I wouldn't be talking! You're the one who watches the cooking channel when no one's around."

Monica looked shocked, "You know about that?!"

"Who doesn't?"

"Hey," she defended, "A lot of people watch the cooking channel. I am, after all, a chef. I get my ideas from there."

"Sure, a lot of people do watch the cooking channel. However, only a select few actually drool over it! Literally."

Monica hit Chandler's arm and headed back into the house. Chandler looked away sheepishly.

"Hey, you two don't seem to get along too well," John offered, "If you don't want her, you can have me."

"Excuse me?" Chandler asked, confused.

"What? Your cute!"

Chandler's eyes opened wide as he noticed what was going on, "Don't you have a wife?"

"Yeah, but she doesn't look anything like you do!"

Chandler stared at him strangely for a moment and declared, "I…I'm going inside. I don't think I'll come out her again…ever." With that he ran towards the house, looking over his shoulder, freaked.

          That night, the gang congregated in Central Perk.

"So," asked Ross, "How did the house hunting go?"

"Tiring," Chandler answered.

"After 8 houses, we finally chose one. We're hoping everything will go all right with it."

"Wow, that's pretty quick…in one day…" Rachel commented.

"Yeah, well we have to move as soon as possible," explained Monica.

"Right. Is it really nice?"

"Yeah, it really is!" Monica commented, "There was one other house I really loved, but we couldn't get that one…"

"Why not?" Phoebe wondered.

Monica began laughing hysterically, "The neighbor hit on him!"

The rest began laughing, also, while Chandler looked disgusted.

"Ha, ha very funny! Now can we please  stop talking about it?"

"Sure, you fox!" Phoebe commented.

"Did you get his number?" Ross joked, still laughing.

"Why?" Chandler asked smugly, "You want it?"

Ross stopped laughing while the rest began laughing even harder.

"I'm not going to take this abuse any longer!" Ross stated, while standing.

"We're sorry," Monica apologized, still laughing.

"Where are you going? To call that guy?" Phoebe asked.

Ross sat back down, defeated.

"Looks like I'm the only straight guy here," Joey said proudly.

"That's what you think," Phoebe commented.

"What?!" Joey demanded.

"You know what I'm talking about."

"No I don't!"

"Well, if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you."

The rest of the gang looked at Phoebe strangely, but she didn't seem to notice.

Ok, that's all folks! (Oops, wrong show.) I hope u liked it. Please read and review! Thanks!:) Next chapter should be up soon…