Disclaimer: I think you get the idea. I don't own, you accursed lawyers don't sue, and I get to keep my money, dignity, and tale.

Another? Sheesh:

Jen's POV

"Farewell, my love. But fear not, for destiny will allow our true love to flourish." Some voice was talking to me, but I hardly knew what they were talking about. "Lemme alone, Mom. School's not goin' anywhere," I replied groggily. It was when the dwarf bent down to kiss me (Eew…) that I realized who I was talking to. He was about one inch away from contact when I shoved him away with my hand. I guess I had some car-lifting, baby-saving adrenaline pumping, because he slid across the floor until he hit the opposite wall. "YOU PERVERT!!!" I screamed. Apparently half of the Fellowship was waiting for him, because Boromir, Aragorn, Sam, and Merry barged into the room. "I advised him against it, I really did," Aragorn notified Boromir. "YOU JUST LET HIM IN HERE!!! IN MY ROOM!!!" I was furious. First at Gimli for trying something, then at Aragorn for allowing him to come in here in the first place. Liz was alerted from my screams and yells and she ran into my room. She didn't know what happened, but could tell I was upset. I walked out of the room and dragged Liz with me, who was still confused. As I walked out, I noticed another detail that enraged me. "And who jimmied the lock!?" I growled. Everyone pointed to Sam, who was pointing to Merry. I let lose a large array of scowls while walking out the door. "Come now, Master Dwarf. On your feet," I heard as I walked out.

* * * * * * * *

Liz was laughing her head off after I told her the story of this morning's wake-up call. She finally calmed down long enough to sit up and actually breathe. Tears were still streaming, but at least she could talk. "Told ya he liked you," she commented, still giggling. "Thank you for that conclusion, Sherlock. How will you unravel the mystery?" I replied sarcastically. Liz went to the bathroom to freshen up while I waited a bit longer to assure myself that the perverted little freak was gone. After 10 minutes, I felt it was safe to go back into my own room.

I took a quick bath and changed into my "regular" clothes (The setup I wore when I arrived in this mad house). I went back to Liz's room expecting her to out of the bathroom and dressed, but she was still in the bathroom. "Don't forget to dress in your regular clothes, Liz. Don't want to arouse suspition that we're going some where," I called out as I walked out of the room and to the dining hall.

I was already eating an omelet-looking thing when Liz walked in the room. 15 minutes had passed and I gave her a glare. She sat next to me, puzzled at my scowl. "What'd I do?" she asked innocently. "You took forever in the bathroom, that's what.

"Well, how else do I get so beautiful each day?" she replied, primping her hair to add affect. "Gee, of course. I should have though about that. After only an hour in the bathroom, too. How do you do it?" I asked, my voice dripping with cynicism. She glared at me while eating her muffin and egg. I found it hard to believe that Elves knew how to make eggs sunny-side up. Oh, well. It was good, and I wasn't about to complain.

After breakfast, we went in search of Elrond. It was time for his daily annoyance intake; complimentary us. When we found him, he was reading in a library-like place. It was in Elvish, so reading over his shoulder was out of the question. I decided to wait and see how long it took for him to notice our presence. Five minutes passed, and Liz was confused (it's not like she can read minds) and wasn't informed of the "game" I was playing. "So, where's the Fellowship?" she asked. Elrond jumped and gave a slight yelp. "What are you two doing here?" he asked, clutching his chest. I shrugged, "What are you doing here?"

"Um. . . reading," he answered, forgetting the question he just asked. "Well? Where is the Fellowship?" Liz asked, repeating herself. "They left about two hours ago," he replied glancing towards the book he was reading, seeming wondering if he would ever get to read it again. "Two hours? Jen, two hours! We'll never catch –" she shut her mouth as I gave her my best shut-your-big mouth-before-you-spill the beans glare (yes, I have several glares). Elrond eyed us with a quizzical look. "Heh heh, yes, well, we'd better be on our way. See ya, Elrond," I said, trying to cover up Liz's slip-up. I made for the door, hauling Liz behind me.

After exiting and walking even farther, I made sure there where no Elves in sight. "What are you doing? You nearly gave our plan away!" I hissed. "They left two hours ago!" she replied. "They could have left two days ago for all it matters. We aren't going to follow in their footsteps. We're going straight to Moria. We have plenty of time. I think we should leave tonight. Hardly anyone will know we're gone until the morning! Not like they'll care. I think you should start packing now. I'll try to find some weapons, maps and packs."

"Fine. Ciao!" she said, showing off her "impressive" Italian, while walking towards her room.

* * * * * * *

After asking Elrond for weapons and packs, I met with Liz back at her room. "How much did you pack?" I asked, a bit worried that she packed enough for a small militia. "As much as could fit in my purse. I had only five bucks left after someone forgot their wallet and I had to pay for the tickets, so I dumped my wallet out the window," she answered. I looked out the window and found her wallet in shreds. A few feet away was a squirrel eating her money and her calling card was all chewed up next to it. "Did you throw away the Aspirin?"

"Nope, still have it. Along with some shampoo, lotion, and soap. They have some nice samples in the bathroom," she said, pointing to the bathroom. "This isn't a hotel," I informed her. "I know. But it's not like I'm not going to bath just because we're going on a trip." She was impossible. "I doubt there will be any bath tubs laying in the wilderness," I responded. "Just in case," she added, raising her head like she was the queen of England. "Whatever. Here's a pack, and we need to get some food, and cloaks, so don't waste the space in shampoo," I said, tossing her a backpack-looking thing. "Off to the dining hall!" she said in a heroic tone.

* * * * * * * *

"My, you two are hungry today! Did you not eat enough at breakfast?" exclaimed one of the servants. "Nay, Maegheruien, we are just famished from the training we endured early this morn," I replied with a mock-Medieval tone (So I was humoring them, the American accent Liz and I both had didn't seem to make them like us more) "Training?" she inquired. "Aye, for the Lord Elrond is having us sent to Etiquette Lessons. Do you see an improvement?"

"Of course, milady. I'm glad to see such a mannerly pair," she replied in a cheery tone, all suspicion diminishing as she walked off to her chores. "You're too weird," I heard Liz whisper beside me, shoving bread and fruit into her pack. Our packs were filled with bread and fruit when we felt that would be enough for the trip. "What about weapons?" Liz asked. "All we have to do is jump that guard over there and take his-"

"Correction: How are we going to get weapons without stealing them," she cut in. "You always have to ruin the fun," I replied with a grin. "We can just ask Elrond," I suggested. When we went to the library he was in before, he was missing. "Figures," Liz said, exasperated. "Let's see what he was reading," I said shifting through the pile of books next to the chair he was in earlier. "Probably a Playboy, or something. All guys are the same. Accept . . .Legolas," she sighed. "You seem to know more about the Elf than he knows of himself," I said. "Aha!" I exclaimed in triumph. "How are we gonna read it? It's in Elvish," Liz noted. "I thought you knew Elvish. You downloaded a whole lesson of the Net!" I said, surprised. "Yeah, but I only know things like *'Auta miqula yrch' and **'Yee!' I didn't learn to read entire books in Elvish!" she answered. I let out an exasperated sigh. "Come on, I have an idea," I said taking the book with me.

* * * * * * * * *

"Why, this is a Book of Prophecies. Most of these foresights deal with the Fellowship. Some of the writings say something about Shadow and Flame, but these are in a dead language only similar to the Elvish I know. I can't even read half of it."

"Thank you, Maegheruien, for we were pondering the script in this book was important. Elrond may need it, no?"

"I suggest you bring it to Elrond right away. He may be looking for it at this very minute!" the Elven servant exclaimed. "Of course, and thank you, again!" I called out as we walked out of the banquet room. "And we had to walk that far why?" Liz asked. "I was thinking of maybe bringing this to Gandalf. You think the old cot knows about this?" I said, holding up the heavy book.

"Who cares, we know what will happen in detail! That book is probably just a bunch of riddles that will take so long to decipher, that what we were trying to find out already happened!" Liz said, sounding agitated. "Yes, but you only know the movie through-and-through; and only the parts with Legolas, I might add. I only know the movie and half of the next book. That isn't very far, considering there is so many things that happen in each book."

"That's your fault! You should have finished the book!"

"You think that my life revolves around Lord of the Rings? I should have not listened to you in the first place! Now, I have a pack full of food and a bundle of someone else's clothes hidden in my room!"

"Calm down! What's your deal? We're just going to SAVE THE WORLD!" she said with a chivalrous voice. "Look, it isn't as easy as it looks in movies and sounds in books. It's seriously dangerous. I'm having second thoughts about going on this 'adventure'. I'll stay here and bug Elrond for the rest of my life," she said. "Come on! What's the worst that can happen?" Liz asked. "The worst? The worst is we get tortured to death to second worst is we drown. The third worst is we get crush in a cave in at Moria. The fourth worst is. . ."

"Okay, okay. You're beginning to depress me now. What's the best thing that can happen?" Liz inquired, trying to brighten the mood. "The first best thing that can happen is we triumph and all of Middle-Earth is saved. The next best thing is that we fail, but the Fellowship avenges our deaths and succeeds in vanquishing evil. The third best thing is the entire Fellowship fails, but we survive and crush evil. I think that the last is the most unlikely, since we don't even have weapons! Nor do we know how to use them!" I concluded my lecture.

We finally spotted Elrond (or someone who looks like him) about 200 yards away. Liz and I began jogging towards the robed figure. When we reached him, we asked for some weapons or money to buy some. "Weapons? Why would you want weapons?"

"Are there weapons, or not?"

"Well, there is a weapon master's quarters some distance over there. Tell him I sent you."

"Yeah, 'Excuse me, sir, but Lord Elrond sent us for some weapons.' You expect him to believe that?" I said with a sigh for dramatic matters. "He'd better, or he-"

"Come with us, Elrond?" Liz asked with puppy dog eyes. "I guess I could, but-"

"Yea!" Liz and I exclaimed happily. "Lead the way, Elly!" Liz cheerfully told Elrond. "I'll take you there if you never call me that again."

"Understood, boss," she responded with a laugh and I joined her. Elrond gave us some very quizzical looks, most likely questioning our sanity, but kept to his word. He walked on with us laughing like mad behind him. Several Elves along the way gave the same looks Elrond gave us, but I believe they were wondering why their leader was walking two crazy people. In response to there questions, he just frowned that trademark frown of his. I could have cared less, because I trying too hard to keep my sides from splitting. I didn't know what was so funny, but Liz and I just couldn't stop laughing; like we were drunk, or something.

We finally made it to a small building and Elrond was the first to enter with Liz and I wiping out tears and trailing him. I expected the inside to be musty and gross, but it wasn't half bad. It was well circulated and lit. The weapons master was really nice and offered to give them for free if I gave him my lucky quarter. I agreed, though reluctantly (I loved that quarter! *sniff*).

I found a sword, but I could hardly lift it, much less kill something with it. I tried a bow and arrow set, but I had terrible coordination and couldn't aim it nor could I pull the string taunt enough to give the arrow enough speed to travel two feet. I was about to give up when my eyes fell upon another sword. This one was much lighter than the first, and felt like it belonged in my hands. And it was very pretty, with thin, silver vines encrusted onto the brown hilt.

I saw Liz look through the selection and spied a pair of short swords. They seemed much longer than daggers or knives, but were about seven inches shorter than my sword. They looked very sharp and had gold vines similar to mine on each black hilt. She seemed to have an eye for weapons, because she found her weapons without a second thought. She also began eyeing a small ax, which cost me my silver charm-bracelet. This was getting expensive. The wristlet I had just given had apparently been made well, because it paid for more than just ax. We each got a pair of gloves and several small daggers.

After the shopping spree, the shop owner wrapped the weapons in cloth and waved us away while he stupidly watched the shiny charms glitter in the light. We walked out and departed with Elrond. "Liz, when I say 'Now' you start running, okay?" I whispered in a barely audible voice, hoping Elrond's keen Elven ears wouldn't pick it up. I turned around, still walking backwards. "Yo! Elrond!" I yelled, getting his attention. "Can I have this book? Thanks, bye!" I said in a hurried tone, "Now!" I whispered to Liz. She heard me, and took off after me. I don't think Elrond cared and probably didn't know what we were talking about, because I didn't hear any following footsteps.

When I looked back, I didn't see Elrond at all. Only a teeny-tiny speck in the distance. Excellent.

It was almost sunset, so we dropped our stuff at our rooms and headed to the dining hall. We saw Maegheruien and chatted for a bit, but tried to remain as inconspicuous as possible. I hoped this would keep everyone's doubts and suspicions away from us.

I left before Liz, who was still eating everything in sight. She was beginning to remind me of a hobbit. But, then, we hardly ate anything at lunch and stuff most of it into our packs.

I opened the door to my room and lit some candles. I found a note on the bed. It was from Gandalf.

~ * * ~ * * ~ * * ~ * * ~ * * ~ * * ~ * * ~

I didn't have much inspiration for this chapter, and I have no idea where to pick up from the note thing. This is beginning to turn away from my dream and go into more of a (dare I say it?) PLOT! Please review, though hardly anyone reads these author's notes, I'd greatly appreciate it.

Elvish translations:

Auta miqula yrch:

*Go kiss an orc!

Yee!:

**Eek!