Disclaimer: I don't own anything related Lord of the Rings nor anything related to the Brady Bunch. Nope. Wish I did, though, 'cause then I'd be way more wealthy and I'd actually pass the $2.32 range. Yay! *realizes that it was just a fantasy, and brakes down sobbing*

I'd like to apologize to the readers. The note from last chapter didn't really sound too. . .um. . .Gandalfy. My brain just don't work no more. . .

Further more:

Liz's POV

Jen and I continued jogging though the forest, with me several feet ahead. I was getting pretty bored of walking, so I began singing the "Hi Ho" song from "Snow White" with brilliant new lyrics (Hi ho, hi ho, to save the world we go. . .) After 10 more minutes, I began to wonder, :Why does my back hurt?" It dawned on me. I stopped abruptly, causing Jen to barge into me. "Ow! What's wrong? Forget something?" she asked, rubbing her head. "Why the heck am I carrying two packs?!" I said dropping both of the bags.

"You volunteered to carry them, bus boy," she answered, though it seemed clear it was a question not meant to be answered. "Hmmph," I retorted, not having anything else to say. I trotted to the front, keeping my senses alert. Though it was still only mid-day, I didn't want any more animals to try and eat us. Every rustle made me jump, only to unveil a squirrel or chipmunk. We didn't stop to eat; we just ate while walking, only stopping to make sure we were on the right trail. This was more boring than I thought it would be. I thought there'd be orcs and dragons and stuff to kill trying to stop us, but the only things close to life threatening were the ravenous wolves. Pssht. How dull.

{Their journey's gonna take a while. Let's check back. . .hmm. . .29 days later}

::Twenty nine Days Later::

Still Liz's POV

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"If you ask that question one more time, I'm going to take this sword and shove it straight up your-"

"You sure we're not almost there? We've been walking for days," I cut off, dragging my feet to add affect. Jen began to pull out a map, but I yanked it out of her hands. "Hey!" Jen exclaimed, trying to get it back. I pulled it out of her grasp. "Look, see? We should have reached it by now. You sure we're going the right way?" I asked, trying to read the rather confusing map. "I know we should have reached it by now, that's the problem I'm trying to solve," she answered, grabbing the map back. "We're. . .lost?" I asked, my voice suddenly weak. "Not exactly lost, we're just off track. Don't worry." She was trying to reassure me, but it sure wasn't working.

"We are lost! What the hell are we gonna do?!" I screamed, losing control. "First off, we're not going to panic. Second, you shut your mouth before the whole forest hears you," she said, anger saturating her voice. I tried to remain calm. I really did, but dying alone in the forest or having to eat the dead body of my friend wasn't exactly soothing. I began to cry slightly, but trying to stay silent. I didn't want my nervous breakdown noticed by anyone.

After two minutes of sitting around, watching Liz trying to pin point the area we were in and get our bearings, I was about to lose my mind. "Aha!" Jen exclaimed, causing me to practically jump out of my skin. "Here we are!" My spirits up lifted, and I turned to see where Jen was pointing. "That's still nine more miles!" I sighed. "If you walked 94 miles already, you can walk nine measly miles," she said, a bit too cheerfully. "But I hate jogging and walking and running and stuff. . ." I whined, hoping that would award me a break.

"Look, we'll take a break at night. Right now, we need to get to Moria. Besides, you're the one who suggested we come on this quest. What's the matter? Can't take it?" I said, practically in my face like a boot camp instructor. She must have seen my scared expression, because she wandered off laughing. "Have you been drinking?" I retorted. She sent me a mild scowl (believe me, compared to some of the other scowls she has up her sleeve, this was child's-play) and replied, "No, if I had, you'd be going insane." I frowned and grabbed my stuff before following her into the forest.

"Wait up!" I called out, jogging a bit faster. "Well, hurry," came the reply. I finally caught up with her, but she hardly slowed her already fast pace. "Can you slow down?" I asked, tired and hungry. "Fine," she said, regretfully. "But if we do, we'll have to stop for the night. I was hoping to reach Moria by tonight," she added, attempting to dissuade me. That wasn't about to happen. "That's fine with me," I said, glad that it meant a chance to rest. She sighed and put down her pack, which was obviously a relief for her and she seemed almost pleased that I had chosen to stop for the night. I ate my meal, content. Jen had already fallen asleep, and was beginning to snore softly. After eating my full, I placed my bundle of cloth I packed as a blanket underneath my head and the rest to cover half of my body. I must have been really tired, because I fell asleep faster than Houdini could even think about how to escape.

~* *~* *~* *~* *~* *~* *~* *~* *~* *~* *~

I woke up to someone poking me with something sharp. "Come on! Wake up!" a voice called out of the void. I opened my eyes hesitantly and sat up. " 'bout time," I heard behind me. I turned and saw Jen with a sharpened branch aimed at me with one hand, a half eaten apple in the other. "What the heck are you doing? Why are you poking me?" I asked, rubbing my head. "Just you wouldn't wake up. I've trying to wake you up for the past 10 minutes," she replied, taking a bite from her apple. I huffed and got up, walking over to my pack in search of food. I picked out several pieces of fruit and ripped off a piece of bread as breakfast, sat down and engulfed the rations. Jen was already packing her things by the time I was finished and I quickly copied.

By noon, we finally reached what appeared to be the beginning of the "Walls of Moria". It was quite a relief to my feet, which where getting tired from the fast pace Jen had set her "jog". The small beginning of the lake began to stretch out and soon, we reached the place that seemed to be familiar from the movie. "How are we supposed to find the doorway? It only reflects starlight and moonlight," I asked, quoting the movie. "Well, it doesn't say it only opens at night, right? We just start screaming 'Mellon' and the door will eventually hear us and open," she said. I was ready to believe her, but I didn't really want to wait until nightfall.

"Mellon! Mellon, mellon, mellon!!!" we called, wandering up and down the bank. At last the apparent "doorway" opened. Jen ripped off a branch despite my protests. She just called me a "tree hugger" and that I should run off with my Elvish, tree-hugging friends. She took out a small dagger from her boot and began hitting it against a small rock near the branch. It eventually sparked, and a "torch" was lit. We walked into the huge caverns and Jen soon turned and asked, "What's Elvish for 'foe' or 'enemy'?" I shrugged, "How should I know?"

"I thought you knew Elvish!"

"You said that already, and I said I didn't. Why do you want to know?"

"Because it might close the doors," she answered, thinking hard for a moment. "And why would that matter? Wouldn't it just make sure the Fellowship gets through Moria faster?" I asked, really not giving a damn. "Yes, but remember, while waiting for Gandalf to think of the password, Pippin began chucking rocks into the water. When Frodo figured the password, everyone walked in, only to find that it was a 'tomb' and that 'Goblins' have visited the area. Everyone began to retreat, but Pippin's rock throwing had awakened the Watcher in the Water. The Watcher grabbed Frodo and after the brief battle, caved in the Fellowship, thus giving them only one more exit. Going through there, Gandalf "died". After, they went to Lórien where Galadriel gave them boats to go to the Argonath where Boromir dies and Frodo decides to take the Ring the Mordor alone, thus creating the other books of the series," she listed, gasping for air towards the end.

"Whoa," I said, flabbergasted. "The serpent-thingy has a name," I said with surprise in my voice, referring to the "Watcher in the Water". "You weren't paying attention, were you?" she with exasperation. "Um. . .you lost me around the part when something and the who-now grabbed what's-his-face's foot."

Jen sighed and turned her attention back to the entrance. She couldn't think of anything, but I heard her mumble a few words under her breath. The stone gates closed with a thud and I just stared incredulously at my friend, who had the same look on her face while she looked at the door. "How'd you know the password?" I asked, blinking several times at the entrance. "I didn't. It was just some wanna-be German," she answered. "What I want to know is why the dwarves have an Elvish password," I asked. "That is a bit messed up, now isn't it?" We both shrugged and began our journey through the mines of Moria.

~* *~* *~* *~* *~* *~* *~* *~* *~* *~* *~

"Which way do we go?"

"I don't know. The movie just kept cutting the shots. Curse that movie!" Jen answered, not daring to raise her voice too much for fear of awakening any enemies. "So now what?" I asked, irritation in my voice. I would hate to have come all the way here for nothing. Jen turned, trying to look for any familiar landmarks that may aid in the continuation of the journey. Finding none, she turned back to me. "I suppose we have to go back. Back to the gates of Moria and go back to Rivendell," she stated. "Rivendell! That'll take forever!" I whined. I wasn't about to just give up and travel another 100 miles. "There's no other way. We don't have any maps of this place, nor any knowledge. Without those, we're practically blind. We have to go back," she said, turning to walk back the way we came.

I complied, only because I was too tired to do anything else. We hardly rested at all since we came to this hellhole. And it smells bad, too. I jogged a bit to catch up to Jen and was soon trying to think of the positives about leaving. I couldn't think of much so decided to hum. Jen seemed a bit annoyed, but I continued my merry little song. I think my "merry little song" is a jinx, however.

Jen and I went no more than twenty feet, when the torch went out. That's right. The freaking torch blow out. I let out several curses and a few cusses, but nothing major. It was only when I realized that it was pitch black that I began to scream. Don't get me wrong; I'm not afraid of the dark. I'm only afraid of the creatures that could kill me in the dark.

"Calm down," Jen hissed. She was obviously pissed, so I shut up. "We only have to remain calm and wait until the Fellowship get here. Until then, you have to keep quite." I heard her shake away some skeletons, sit down and rummage through her pack. "You gave away your Lucky Quarter, remember?" They way we sometimes know what each other are thinking is scary, no? "Crap, that's right. This is what I get for bartering you, isn't, Lucy? Lucy, I'm so sorry!" she said to nothing. "You named it Lucy?" I asked, my voice dripping with disbelief. "Yes, you have a problem with that?"

"No, no. Not at all," I answered. "So, we're seriously stuck here?" I inquired. "Gee, it look's that way, now doesn't it?"

"Jen?

"What?"

"I gotta pee. . ."

~* *~* *~* *~* *~* *~* *~* *~* *~* *~* *~

You guys like that one? I was kind of stumped, so be gentle. Oh, and a reminder: Please don't flame mindlessly. It hurts my feelings (yes, I have feelings). And please forgive me if I hurt yours! *sighs from relief* Now that my conscience is cleared, please review!