Disclaimer: Don't own a thing. By reading the past ten (I think I forgot to post one up for eleven), you should know that by now. If you don't then: see above

Author's note: This is really weird. I decided to combine the book (what little parts I remember) with the movie. I decided to quote the Boromir death scene movie thingy because I felt like it. Please don't tell me I suck just because I'm going through a phase. I also thought that it would make the fic move more smoothly. N@talia did some of the lines, so blame HER if you don't like it!

I already know about half of the Two Towers (I got to the part where Treebeard was carrying Merry and Pippin around and some Ents was singing or something. I skipped that part because it was too boring, randomly selected a part from the middle of the book and found one of the conversations between Théoden and Grima, but THAT was too boring so I quit that and started watching the crazy hobo guy smoking while laying down at the corner of my street. It was really funny when the cops came to take him away. I think he was drunk or something. . .


Jen's POV


"There you are! They were ready to leave you behind!" Liz exclaimed, grabbing my arm and pulling me to the water's edge. "Too bad you missed it," she said. "Look what I got!" She pulled out a piece of hair. "What is it?" I asked. "It's some of Legolas' hair!" she answered happily. "Sure he caused a bit of a scene, but Galadriel did ask what I wanted," she explained, stroking the strands of hair. She finally turned and got into one of the boats, sitting next to Legolas and snuggling up close to him as his face grew more and more livid. I didn't move, rethinking my actions and consequences. "What wrong?" Liz asked. "What wrong?! I almost got killed is what's wrong!" I said while motioning to my bandaged arm. "Don't worry. Nothing's gonna happen!" she said reassuringly. "No way, Liz. I'm happy staying alive," I responded.


"Listen, nothing's gonna happen! We just keep away from orcs now," came her not so calming echo. "How can we keep away from orcs when the whole plan is to go to a land riddled the little freaks!?" I shouted, losing patience. I was ready to turn back and leave the small dock when it dawned on me that Liz was the only friend I had in this crazy place. 'You could always make new ones,' I told myself, but I couldn't bring to go. I was sure most of the Fellowship didn't want Liz and I on their little quest. And how was I supposed to make a living? 'Jeez, dieing quickly and painfully was better than slowly and miserably,' I thought, visualizing myself as a beggar.

I reluctantly turned and surveyed the boats. Merry, Pippin, and Frodo were sitting in a bunch with Aragorn rowing. Legolas had Liz and Gimli while Boromir had only Sam. I chose the least crowded boat, sitting next to Sam, who suddenly began talking about how great it was to actually meet the renowned Galadriel and his little box of dirt {his little gift}. The dwarf suddenly got up from his position and jumped into Boromir's boat, nearly sinking both vessels.

He landed in my lap, causing me to yelp in pain. Having two hundred pounds dropped on you isn't the most comforting thing. He turned and said in a soothed voice, "When does the love boat cast off?" I snapped. I grabbed him by the beard and yanked it over the side, causing him to fly overboard. I pressed my boot against his head, preventing any breathing. He struggled, but I never moved. Aragorn and Legolas finally dragged me off, giving the dwarf the chance to breathe. "No!! He was almost dead!" I screeched. So I sounded like a murderer, but I didn't care. The dwarf crawled himself onto the shore and collapsed, raising his hand to my direction. "I need the breath of life! Beloved! Save me!" he gasped, puckering his lips.

I snarled in frustration and anger, shrugging off the grip of the two warriors behind me. I sat back in the boat and sat back down next to the wide-eyed hobbit. "Can I help you?" I asked. He shook his head and was silent for a few minutes. Gimli got up and got back into his boat. "I'm impressed, my love. You surely are the woman I wish to marry," he called. "I don't want to marry you!!!" I screamed, ignoring some of the snickers by a few Lorién elves. Sam began talking again and I tried my hardest to shut him up. The stupid hobbit didn't know how to take a hint. We cast off and I was soon regretting ever leaving Lorién as my ear was being talked off. I was beginning to wonder if I could actually swim all the way back to Lorién, or at least to the shore. I didn't want to be eaten by something, so I just sat back and tuned out Sam like I would tune out a teacher.

'Nine hundred fifty one, nine hundred fifty two," I counted, listening for each stroke Aragorn made with the paddle. Luckily, Sam had at least shut his mouth. About five hours later, we stopped at the shore and rested for the remainder of the night. After a restless night with the dwarf's unbelievably loud snores blaring only a few feet away, we set off again to face another boring day of listening to paddling and having my legs fall asleep from inactivity.

My heart jumped as the boat came unnervingly close to capsizing in the rapids. I yelped several times, only to have Sam yell louder. Liz seemed to be having a whale of a time snuggling Legolas (much to the protests of the elf), spraying water around, and laughing as if she were at a carnival. Aragorn, Boromir, and a waterlogged Legolas continued to row the boats throughout the day and the setting sun. Boromir thrust the paddle into my hands, but after nearly sinking both Legolas' and my own boats, quickly snatched it back. So what if I wasn't a master boatwoman? I shifted my toes in my boots, trying to gain feeling within then. Suddenly, everyone began crying out things like "Yrch!" and "Orcs" as arrows tore through the night air.

Liz's POV

I unsheathed my daggers instinctively. My darlings {the daggers} could smell the blood of their enemies and called to me with pleas to satisfy their lust for death. "Now, now, we must be patient. It won't be long before we dance on their fallen bodies, but for now we must wait." I whispered, comforting my latest children. They were no comparison to my favorite child, my .367 Magnum waiting at home, but they were my children nonetheless. Legolas whispered something I couldn't hear and quickly maneuvered the boat to the shore, jumping out at the first chance. He said something else, but my attention was distracted. Something was swooping from the sky. Someone screamed to my right, but I paid no heed. I ducked, my daggers hovering over my head, protecting me. Another scream and a distant splash nearly got my attention, but I remained focused on foe before us. Legolas shot one of his arrows into the dark and the offender faded off. Now it was time to see what was going on.

"Someone get this damned hobbit!" I heard Jen scream. I squinted in the dark, but couldn't make anything out. "What's going on?" I asked Legolas. "It seems as though your friend and Master Gamgee fell overboard," he answered, a small smile creeping his mouth. A male shout this time, and a larger splash. "And now it seems Boromir has, as well," the elf said walking towards the water. By this time, Aragorn had rooted his boat and waded out to help, Legolas following. Merry, Pippin, and Frodo were all worried for their hobbit companion and Gimli was fretting over the loss of his "beloved". More figures finally came from the darkness, Aragorn, Legolas, Jen, Boromir, and Sam all came from the water, each soaking wet. By the time a small fire had been brewed, half of the people were shivering terribly.

"Take off these clothes!" I commanded Legolas, grabbing his tunic and pulling upwards. "Gah! What are you doing?!" he explained, ripping the cloth from my hands and scrambling away. I followed, this time grabbing his pants. "You'll catch a cold if you stay in these clothes, plus, they need to dry," I explained, though I seriously wanted to see him without clothes. "I agree," Gimli said, turning to Jen. She screamed as the dwarf grabbed her waist and pulled her towards him. He slapped him harder then I thought she even could slap and hid behind Boromir, who was calmly watching the spectacle with amusement. Gimli sat there, stunned, then called out, "Never fear, my love, I understand you wish to wait for a more secluded area." Jen visibly shuddered and gripped her clothes as if they would fly off.

Legolas was constantly trying to run away, screaming that Elves don't catch colds, so I finally sat down on his back and started pulling off his shoes. He continued to roll around, making everything harder, but I finally had at least his shoes and outer tunic off. He was cowering behind Aragorn, begging him to not allow me over there. "Tsk tsk tsk. Love can be so hard to deal with. Don't worry, hon. I'll always be here for you," I comforted. He only shrunk into a tighter ball and began whispering something in Elvish. Aragorn shook his head and whispered something back. They were probably planning my marriage to Legolas. He's such a sweetheart. "Exactly what happened out there?" Pippin dared to ask.

"Well, Sam, here, began flailing wildly when the Winged. . .thing came from the sky and attacked. I fell in the water after he smacked me in the face with one of his hands and I suppose I grabbed him as I fell. Boromir tried to get Sam into the boat, but the entire thing capsized," she explained. It was obvious she knew what the thing was that attacked, but wouldn't tell us. "You still into that quantum thing? Even after we messed up half the plot?" I asked, mostly to myself. Most everyone around was confused. "Listen, we obviously made a mistake coming, but it's not like we could go back. Right now I only care about getting warm. You better shut your mouth before you mess up the other half," Jen snapped. "Shesh, don't have to get on my case," I whispered, poking at the fire with a stick before tossing the entire thing into the fire.

The area that we stopped to camp wasn't what I would call "cozy". Some trees that fell from erosion by the river during the flooding season were rotting nearby. Several times a branch fell or a trunk shifted, causing everyone to jump and their hands to wander to their weapons. I drifted to sleep; wrapping the thick clock Galadriel had given each of us around me. Everyone woke up in the middle of the night, re-sheathing their weapons at Legolas' (he was on watch) coaxes that no enemy was upon us. "What happened," Merry asked sleepily, the shock and alarm drained out of him.

"This damned dwarf started to fell me out!" Jen screamed angrily, clutching her shirt to her chest. The dwarf looked about innocently. "Did no such thing. I was sleeping until you woke us all up screaming. You must have been dreaming," he explained. "Yeah, right!" Jen yelled. "Quiet!" Legolas and Aragorn hissed, glancing about nervously. She huffed and turned, sitting down on a log. "I'll take watch, now," she said angrily. I'm no one wanted to object, so everyone sat or lay down, closing their eyes accept for Jen and Legolas.

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We set off again in the morning, though we switched places. Sam and Frodo was in Aragorn's boat, I was still with Legolas, though Jen and Pippin were with us now, causing us to be squished together almost uncomfortably, and Gimli and Merry were with Boromir.

We started off earlier than the other nights, and it was barely light enough to see anything in front of our faces. I think I fell asleep for a little while because Legolas nudged me with his elbow. "Wake up, wake up," he called, his nudging harder. "What do you want?" I asked, thinking it was my mom. "I can't row as well. You are in the way of my arm," he answered. I got up from his chest and placed my chin in my propped up arms. For some reason, the compulsive need for him was dieing, since I could just walk over a touch him any time I wanted. He was real and available, giving me no competition. And what guy wouldn't want to go out with the insanely beautiful, talented, popular, and intelligent Elizabeth DeMeo?

Jen's POV

Here I was, stuck with someone trying to get into someone's pant's (i.e. Liz) and someone trying to get away from the amorous little scamp (i.e. Legolas). There had been quite a "lover's brawl" this morning when Liz jumped into the same boat as Legolas again and Aragorn was the person who calmed everyone and allowed the Company to move on, much to the complaint of Legolas. I began rehearsing Mozart's "Eine Kleine Nachmusi" over and over 'til I was ready to hurl the music sheets for the song. It was at about mid-day when we finally reached the Argonath.

"My kin," Aragorn whispered to Frodo to the right and behind of me. "Quit yer bragging, bragger," I called out behind me. No one answered, but I could feel a scowl being thrown at the back of my head, most likely by the elf. It was another couple hours until we stopped to rest. Yet another one of the movie's great scenes. Everyone got out of their boats accept me. "Come on," urged Aragorn.


"Let's go now," I whispered to Aragorn, taking away the elf's line. "No," he responded simply, not giving me any explanation. "Listen to me, orcs are going to come, kill Boromir, and take away the hobbits. Unless you want that to happen, we need to leave now," I said, my voice rising. He reconsidered, but then paid me no heed. "Good God, are you even listening? How else do you think I knew such things about you and Arwen? And about everything else? Liz and I know such things! Please, listen," I pleaded. He looked at me, his gaze piercing through my soul. I didn't know what effect it would have on the future, but it had to be better than what will happen.


"Where's Frodo?" Merry asked from behind me, drawing the attention of Aragorn. I huffed and turned. "You think orcs can climb trees?" I asked Liz, eyeing one or the nearest and tallest trees. "Don't think so," she responded. I tried several times, also trying to ignore the searing pain trailing up my arm each time I tried to pull myself up. "Dwarf!" I called. Gimli jogged over. "You called, my sweet?" he asked in a disgustingly happy voice. "Give me a lift," I ordered. He did as told without complaint and I finally grabbed footing of the branched, though my arm ached terribly. As I was climbing the tree, I lost myself in a maze of leaves. I looked down and suddenly grew afraid of heights. I gripped the trunk of the tree and sighed. I loosened my grip and arranged myself into a more comfortable position. I only needed to wait until the arrogance of Aragorn would prove me right.


Liz's POV

I unsheathed my knives at Aragorn's warning. We each ran off, looking desperately for Frodo and, most importantly, the Ring. Orcs were suddenly everywhere and chaos spread. I slashed at one and sliced another. I ran about, waving my knives in the air, allowing them to go wherever they wished to find their target and have their sweet blood. I dodged a certain blow from the blade of a sword and hacked the foul and contorted face of the creature.


Suddenly, a distant sound came from far to my right. "The horn of Gondor," Legolas informed. I sighed. Yup, still hot. Anyways, the elf, the dwarf, the man, and I began to run towards the source of the sound. We stopped, halted by another barrage of orcs. I slashed and a few, but continued running. I wasn't going to pass up a chance when I could be a hero. . .er. . .heroine. I jumped over several roots and dashed past at least a hundred trees before I finally found Boromir, who was hacking violently. I ran up, slicing at one of the orcs nearest to me. I continued to fight, cutting down any orcs that strayed too near. I turned and saw the two hobbits staring and gaping. "Fight, you dim-wits!" I screamed, and blocked a sword that came to a tad too close to comfort. They still stood there, looking on.

I punched the disgusting face of an orc and felt the leathery skin slid and the bone of its jaw crack. Yummy. I turned and saw Boromir jerk back with an arrow embedded into his chest. I opened my mouth to scream, but no words came out. I closed my eyes, expecting the same. When it didn't come, I opened my eyes, but saw something incredibly terrifying. An orc was racing towards me, club raised in one arm. I breathed a rather nasty profanity and dodged the first blow, but the punch to my stomach caused me to double over. The damned orc took this to his advantage and brought the heavy club down on my head. Then all went black.


Jen's POV

"Oh God, oh God, oh God," I breathed, unsheathing my sword. Two orcs were after me; one trying its best to climb up the truck, and another hacking at the base of the tree. I clung to the tree for dear life with one arm, the other swinging the blade at the orc that was reaching for my ankles. I suddenly heard a load cracking sound and felt the tree move underneath me. I screamed the loudest I could have possibly screamed as the tree fell. I closed my eyes and thought, 'Fast and painful, here I come.'
I groaned loudly, opening my eyes. I looked to my right, and saw a grisly sight. The orc that was grabbing at my feet was impaled on a thick branch beside me. I heard another cracking sound and saw the orc that had chopped down the tree was now chopping the branches that were in his way. It was heading straight toward me, and I began to get up and run then I realized my foot was pinned to the ground by one of the branches. I reached for my sword to cut the branch, but came out short when my sword was throw out of my hands as the tree fell. The orc had reached me by now and raised a mace in both hands. I closed my eyes and waited for the blow that was sure to come.
When it didn't come, I opened my eyes only to have the head of an orcs hurled at me and land in my lap. I screamed again as I flailed to get the bleeding head off me. I slapped it away and saw a hand that was held out to me. A gross, dirt-encrusted hand. I looked up into the face of my savior and, sure enough, it was the dwarf. "Get up," a voice commanded in a hurried tone from behind the stout figure. I tried, but was reminded of the branch that prevented such actions. The dwarf realized this, and quickly raised his ax. Before I could protest, he brought it down and a crack echoed. I looked down reluctantly and saw that my leg was still attached to my body. (whew)
I got up, grabbed my sword, and followed the elf and dwarf jog off into the woods. "They took the little ones. And the girl. Frodo. Where is Frodo?" breathed Boromir, quivering. "I let Frodo go," whispered Aragorn. "You did what I could not; I tried to take the Ring. And now I have paid."

"The Ring is beyond our reach, now," Aragorn coaxed. "Forgive me. I could not see, and I have failed you all," Boromir gasped. "Nay. You fought bravely. You have kept you honor and the honor of our people," Aragorn cajoled {I learned that in English! Could you believe it? Learning something in school! Of course, that was a long time ago, so things change}, reaching for the arrows that protruded from the Rohan warrior. "Leave it. It is over. Man will fail and darkness will over come. My city will ruin."

"I know not of the strength in my blood, but I swear to you I will not let the White City fall nor our people fail," Aragorn reassured the dying man. "Our people. Our people," Boromir gasped, reaching for his sword. The Rohan man clutched it to his chest as if it were his very life. "I would have followed you, my brother. My captain. My king." Aragorn whispered something I could not hear from where I was standing, but I had seen the movie so many times, I knew what it was he was saying. I sort of felt sorry that I had laughed so many times when this guy was real. Well, mostly real. Heck, I don't even know what is real now. Anyways, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli fell into the discussion how to rest the body of Boromir. 'Wait,' my mind called, 'where's the noise?'


"Liz? Liz! LIZ!! Your mom's going to be really pissed if you're dead!!" I screamed, my voice cracking slightly at the last word. I wandered around, and the remainder of the Fellowship saw my urgency. "I found her weapons," the elf called, twirling the knives a bit, a small smile creeping at the corners of his mouth. I scowled, "And you would be happy . . WHY?!?" He handed me the weapons, stalking off in a huff.

No body to go with these weapons. That either means she was carried away, dead, to be eaten by the orcs later; she was carried away, alive, to be eaten later; or she was carried away, alive, to be used as their own personal toy. I shuddered at the thought, but tried to regain my senses. It wouldn't do any good to be reckless and senseless.
We quickly stuffed Boromir into a boat and sent him down the river. If he wasn't really dead, he soon will be. I half ignored the rest of the crew, and danced about in anxiety as if I were a toddler needing to pee. 'Come on, come on!' my mind screamed at the talking idlers.
"Let's hunt some orc." Now those were the words I wanted to hear.

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Did ya like? I wouldn't blame you if you didn't. . .