A/N: Thank you to all who have reviewed, I am so sorry this chapter has
taken so long to put up, I didn't feel it was good enough so had to re-
write it a couple of times. Thank you DuckSorceress (your fic is coming
along brilliantly). Rachel (you always encourage me in this, no matter how
slow I am at it or how lousy it may seem). Lastly thanks to Helena, & also
to Starlight (I am a little embarrassed that such a wonderful writer read
this amateur piece of work, thank you).
I realised that my Snape was getting a little bit sloppy, so this chapter is focusing on bringing back his hate.
And for those of you who prefer romances, just to let you know, this story is a romance/supernatural, I just have to get through this so I can ad the romance element, so it is on its way.
Disclaimer: The usual "I don't own Harry Potter" speech which every one knows off by heart.
1 Secrets in the Dark
1.1 Part 5
Instead of the nothingness, which Snape expected to see, he could make out a face. It was transparent & barely visible, but none the less, it was quite obviously there. Snape stood abruptly, staring at the figure infront of him. It was….LILY!?!?! Snape stumbled back, almost loosing his balance. Here he was, now confronted with the thing he feared most in his life. Lily was becoming more definably, although she was still quite transparent & ghostly. Her eyes locked with his, they had no colour in them, & made Snape feel very cold. Snape heard a clap of thunder & he looked around to see clouds rapidly rolling in, dark, threatening clouds, which blocked out the sun. Wind began whipping around Snape's face & body, & soon it was so dark, that the only light was that given off by the lightning. It was dark, he could no longer see Lily's form, straining his eyes where she had been. Then the was a flash of lightning & Lily was illuminated in the light, suddenly appearing much closer than where Snape had been trying to focus on her. Her eyes were cold, showing the pain she was in, her brows drawn into a frown, her hands reaching in front of her…for him! The lightning faded and Lily disappeared, he saw her suddenly disappear, but stayed focused where she had been. Then lightning flashed, & Lily's face, out of focus because she was so close, along with the deafening crack of thunder, caused Snape's heart to almost stop. He no longer had control of his senses, all that he had left was instinct, the instinct of survival. He turned, without really realising it & ran, didn't know where, just ran. In his panic he was paying no attention to his footing, only escaping from her. He tripped & landed face down in the grass. He quickly scrambled to his feet, with the mind to continue running, but his stomach dropped, as he realised it was not windy, of stormy, in fact, it was a beautiful day, with no sign of what he had just been through. He slowly turned to look back where he had been, where SHE had been, just proving to himself that none of it really had happened. And there she was, still transparent, standing next to a small tree, looking straight through him. Snape closed his eyes for one moment, trying to sort out in his mind what to do, he opened his eyes, still looking in her direction, but she wasn't there.
Snape had reached the castle again, safety lay in those dimly lit corridors, in those cold rooms. He made his way back up to the hospital wing, wishing he could just stay away from there, stop showing his dependency on other people, & just have time to think about what he was going through. Snape paused out side the door, composing himself. He burst in, throwing the door open in front of him, & began pacing beside his bed, a scowl finding its way onto his face. Madam Pomfrey bustled in again, after hearing him re-enter the infirmary. All he could do was sneer at her, not wishing for her cheery demeanor to be forced upon him once more.
"Ah, Severus, I see that fresh air has done you good, you seem to be back to your old self again" she pointed out, her humor evident in her voice.
Snape glared at the woman, angered by her impertinence, but refrained from saying anything.
"How are you feeling? If you are feeling ok, well, then I would say you would be free to leave." She smiled at him as his scowl was replaced by a slightly more pleasant expression.
He bowed his head slightly in reply, before swiftly turning & sweeping back out of the room. Anything to get out of that room. That room was for people too incompetent or helpless to look after themselves, & he certainly didn't consider himself to be like that, despite what his present situation may suggest.
'At least now I can go back to teaching, stop those damned dunderheads having time for themselves during MY Potions class!!! Not that teaching them is any pleasure, or even worth my while' Snape thought bitterly to himself.
The bell to signal the beginning of the lesson tolled out across the school, students bustled to their classes, nodding in greeting to their friends as they passed each other. Snape walked down the corridor, in the opposite direction to the main flow of the students, heading to the library where his class had been told to go until he had recovered. One small first year girl bumped into him, she obviously suffered more from this than he did as her slight whimper of pain showed, but her simply glared at her, causing her to mutter a barely audible "Sorry" as she scampered away from him. He merely sneered after her & continued walking to the library.
Professor Snape reached the library and entered, his foul mood even more apparent than before at spotting his students smiling & quietly chatting to each other. He nodded courteously to Madam Pince, who looked over her spectacles & gave a half smile before looking back down to her book.
'I see that her judgement on good books has yet to improve' Snape thought bitterly to himself, noting the title – "Weathering Heights". Madam Pince had already read all the books in the library, & was now on to muggle books, something that Snape frowned upon. Snape silently glided over to one group from his class, silently taking up a position behind them. He stood there, quietly listening to their conversation, waiting for the right time to make his presence known.
"I can't even imagine why Dumbledore employs that old slimy git, he is so boring, it's not like we're ever going to learn anything with him" stated one golden haired boy.
"I know, & he actually thinks he is a good teacher! It's hilarious, we learn more with Treawnley!" voiced the girl beside him.
"If I were Dumbledore I would have the Snape chained up in Azkaban!" another girl of the group said.
"Yes, my dad told me about how he was a follower of You-Know-Who & all these awful things he did to people! It was awful! He would steal little children & eat them for breakfast! He would put old witches on chains & make them be his slaves! & my dad told me that he would cut up wizards in to lots of little pieces just to hear them scream!…."
"Is that right, Mr Goldstien?" Snape interrupted, deciding that he had heard enough lies. "What else did your father tell you I did? I would be very interested to discuss it after school today in detention."
Mark Goldstien shifted in his seat uncomfortably, trying to think of an excuse but found his mind blank.
"Okay, all of you, back to class," not one of the students moved from their positions, all waiting for each other to move first. "Or would you all like to join you Mr Goldstien in detention with me?"
With Snape's threat, all the students hurriedly bustled out of the library. Snape turned to see Mme Pince watching over her book, watching Snape in a very condescending manor. Snape just scowled at her, but didn't say anything, the staff already knew that he held no respect for her, or her for him, he didn't need the students knowing too.
Back in the class room Professor Snape put the student to work immediately. Not only did this keep them quiet, but it also gave him some time to think. He didn't understand about the Lily, or why her spirit was cold & haunting him, but he knew he had to find out. He hated to admit it but he knew that the answer lay in his past, & to figure out the whole situation, he would have to face his memories, have to chose to relive it all in his mind. This was something that he had been avoiding for many years now, & he wasn't looking forward to it…
The students of his last class of the day had left, his classroom was once again desolate. Snape locked his classroom door & warded it, then he swiftly glided toward his dungeons. He entered & went straight to the bookshelf & searched through all the books that had been placed there. Annoyed that there was no book there to help his cause Snape then went to his bed & crouched down so that he could reach under it. He pulled out an old wooden trunk with brass handles slowly lifted the lid. The hinges creaked & moaned, as they had not been used in so many long years. Snape reached in & gently lifted out a small, leather bound book with the letters 'S.S.' burnt in the top right hand corner. This had been where Snape had written all his notes when he had been under the rule of Voldermeort, surely there would be some clues there. He continued searching through the trunk, pulling out James' old letters that they had written to each other when they were still young & he placed them with the old notebook. Digging deeper in the trunk Snape found some other things. Useless old Robes which had been passed down through his family, which he personally didn't care for, his key for Gingotts, & an old damaged photograph of his mother & father with him, which he paused to look at for a brief moment before violently shoving it aside. Then, the last thing in his trunk was a thick black book with the words "The Ancestry of Darkness" inscribed on the cover in emerald green letters.
'This could be of some use' thought Snape of the old, dusty book, which he had never even bothered to look through before. Snape carried the books over to his desk & placed himself on the spindly chair.
'Here comes the difficult part' Snape thought as he carefully opened the cover of the smaller book…
I realised that my Snape was getting a little bit sloppy, so this chapter is focusing on bringing back his hate.
And for those of you who prefer romances, just to let you know, this story is a romance/supernatural, I just have to get through this so I can ad the romance element, so it is on its way.
Disclaimer: The usual "I don't own Harry Potter" speech which every one knows off by heart.
1 Secrets in the Dark
1.1 Part 5
Instead of the nothingness, which Snape expected to see, he could make out a face. It was transparent & barely visible, but none the less, it was quite obviously there. Snape stood abruptly, staring at the figure infront of him. It was….LILY!?!?! Snape stumbled back, almost loosing his balance. Here he was, now confronted with the thing he feared most in his life. Lily was becoming more definably, although she was still quite transparent & ghostly. Her eyes locked with his, they had no colour in them, & made Snape feel very cold. Snape heard a clap of thunder & he looked around to see clouds rapidly rolling in, dark, threatening clouds, which blocked out the sun. Wind began whipping around Snape's face & body, & soon it was so dark, that the only light was that given off by the lightning. It was dark, he could no longer see Lily's form, straining his eyes where she had been. Then the was a flash of lightning & Lily was illuminated in the light, suddenly appearing much closer than where Snape had been trying to focus on her. Her eyes were cold, showing the pain she was in, her brows drawn into a frown, her hands reaching in front of her…for him! The lightning faded and Lily disappeared, he saw her suddenly disappear, but stayed focused where she had been. Then lightning flashed, & Lily's face, out of focus because she was so close, along with the deafening crack of thunder, caused Snape's heart to almost stop. He no longer had control of his senses, all that he had left was instinct, the instinct of survival. He turned, without really realising it & ran, didn't know where, just ran. In his panic he was paying no attention to his footing, only escaping from her. He tripped & landed face down in the grass. He quickly scrambled to his feet, with the mind to continue running, but his stomach dropped, as he realised it was not windy, of stormy, in fact, it was a beautiful day, with no sign of what he had just been through. He slowly turned to look back where he had been, where SHE had been, just proving to himself that none of it really had happened. And there she was, still transparent, standing next to a small tree, looking straight through him. Snape closed his eyes for one moment, trying to sort out in his mind what to do, he opened his eyes, still looking in her direction, but she wasn't there.
Snape had reached the castle again, safety lay in those dimly lit corridors, in those cold rooms. He made his way back up to the hospital wing, wishing he could just stay away from there, stop showing his dependency on other people, & just have time to think about what he was going through. Snape paused out side the door, composing himself. He burst in, throwing the door open in front of him, & began pacing beside his bed, a scowl finding its way onto his face. Madam Pomfrey bustled in again, after hearing him re-enter the infirmary. All he could do was sneer at her, not wishing for her cheery demeanor to be forced upon him once more.
"Ah, Severus, I see that fresh air has done you good, you seem to be back to your old self again" she pointed out, her humor evident in her voice.
Snape glared at the woman, angered by her impertinence, but refrained from saying anything.
"How are you feeling? If you are feeling ok, well, then I would say you would be free to leave." She smiled at him as his scowl was replaced by a slightly more pleasant expression.
He bowed his head slightly in reply, before swiftly turning & sweeping back out of the room. Anything to get out of that room. That room was for people too incompetent or helpless to look after themselves, & he certainly didn't consider himself to be like that, despite what his present situation may suggest.
'At least now I can go back to teaching, stop those damned dunderheads having time for themselves during MY Potions class!!! Not that teaching them is any pleasure, or even worth my while' Snape thought bitterly to himself.
The bell to signal the beginning of the lesson tolled out across the school, students bustled to their classes, nodding in greeting to their friends as they passed each other. Snape walked down the corridor, in the opposite direction to the main flow of the students, heading to the library where his class had been told to go until he had recovered. One small first year girl bumped into him, she obviously suffered more from this than he did as her slight whimper of pain showed, but her simply glared at her, causing her to mutter a barely audible "Sorry" as she scampered away from him. He merely sneered after her & continued walking to the library.
Professor Snape reached the library and entered, his foul mood even more apparent than before at spotting his students smiling & quietly chatting to each other. He nodded courteously to Madam Pince, who looked over her spectacles & gave a half smile before looking back down to her book.
'I see that her judgement on good books has yet to improve' Snape thought bitterly to himself, noting the title – "Weathering Heights". Madam Pince had already read all the books in the library, & was now on to muggle books, something that Snape frowned upon. Snape silently glided over to one group from his class, silently taking up a position behind them. He stood there, quietly listening to their conversation, waiting for the right time to make his presence known.
"I can't even imagine why Dumbledore employs that old slimy git, he is so boring, it's not like we're ever going to learn anything with him" stated one golden haired boy.
"I know, & he actually thinks he is a good teacher! It's hilarious, we learn more with Treawnley!" voiced the girl beside him.
"If I were Dumbledore I would have the Snape chained up in Azkaban!" another girl of the group said.
"Yes, my dad told me about how he was a follower of You-Know-Who & all these awful things he did to people! It was awful! He would steal little children & eat them for breakfast! He would put old witches on chains & make them be his slaves! & my dad told me that he would cut up wizards in to lots of little pieces just to hear them scream!…."
"Is that right, Mr Goldstien?" Snape interrupted, deciding that he had heard enough lies. "What else did your father tell you I did? I would be very interested to discuss it after school today in detention."
Mark Goldstien shifted in his seat uncomfortably, trying to think of an excuse but found his mind blank.
"Okay, all of you, back to class," not one of the students moved from their positions, all waiting for each other to move first. "Or would you all like to join you Mr Goldstien in detention with me?"
With Snape's threat, all the students hurriedly bustled out of the library. Snape turned to see Mme Pince watching over her book, watching Snape in a very condescending manor. Snape just scowled at her, but didn't say anything, the staff already knew that he held no respect for her, or her for him, he didn't need the students knowing too.
Back in the class room Professor Snape put the student to work immediately. Not only did this keep them quiet, but it also gave him some time to think. He didn't understand about the Lily, or why her spirit was cold & haunting him, but he knew he had to find out. He hated to admit it but he knew that the answer lay in his past, & to figure out the whole situation, he would have to face his memories, have to chose to relive it all in his mind. This was something that he had been avoiding for many years now, & he wasn't looking forward to it…
The students of his last class of the day had left, his classroom was once again desolate. Snape locked his classroom door & warded it, then he swiftly glided toward his dungeons. He entered & went straight to the bookshelf & searched through all the books that had been placed there. Annoyed that there was no book there to help his cause Snape then went to his bed & crouched down so that he could reach under it. He pulled out an old wooden trunk with brass handles slowly lifted the lid. The hinges creaked & moaned, as they had not been used in so many long years. Snape reached in & gently lifted out a small, leather bound book with the letters 'S.S.' burnt in the top right hand corner. This had been where Snape had written all his notes when he had been under the rule of Voldermeort, surely there would be some clues there. He continued searching through the trunk, pulling out James' old letters that they had written to each other when they were still young & he placed them with the old notebook. Digging deeper in the trunk Snape found some other things. Useless old Robes which had been passed down through his family, which he personally didn't care for, his key for Gingotts, & an old damaged photograph of his mother & father with him, which he paused to look at for a brief moment before violently shoving it aside. Then, the last thing in his trunk was a thick black book with the words "The Ancestry of Darkness" inscribed on the cover in emerald green letters.
'This could be of some use' thought Snape of the old, dusty book, which he had never even bothered to look through before. Snape carried the books over to his desk & placed himself on the spindly chair.
'Here comes the difficult part' Snape thought as he carefully opened the cover of the smaller book…