Part 25: Between the Rock and the Hard Place
#
"Hey, Buff?" Xander asked, peeking in the door. "Can we come in?"
Buffy looked up from where she was sitting by Angel's bedside, holding one of his clammy hands. He had been like this for ten days now, they knew. Ten days and with every hour that passed the chances of him ever waking up again grew smaller and smaller. The only signs that he was even alive were the steady beep of the heart monitor and the wheezing of the respirator.
Buffy's face was a mask of tired misery as she tried to work up a smile for her friends. Xander came in, followed by Willow. The redhead felt guilty that there was nothing she could do for Angel. She and Tara had looked into healing spells, but no such luck. As Tara had said, magic was good for a lot of things but healing was not really among them. Those that could heal with magic were few and far between and required years, if not decades of training.
"Any change?" Xander sat down beside Buffy, putting a hand on her shoulder. He still was not among Angel's biggest fans, but things had gotten a lot better since the threat of Angelus' returning had been banished forever. These days Angel was just a regular guy, or as regular a guy as a former vampire could be. A guy whom Buffy loved and who might well die right before their eyes without any of them able to do anything about it.
"None," Buffy said, working hard to keep her voice from cracking up. "He's just ... but that's not why I wanted to talk to you guys. I ... I tried to work this out on my own and ... well, I had a long talk with Angel, but ... it was really more of monologue, you know?"
Both Xander and Willow could clearly smell the gallows's humor and wisely refrained from commenting.
"I also thought about Giles, but ... well, Giles is already way past suspicious about Burke and his people after everything that we found out as of late and ... I just don't think he can really help me work this out. I wanted to talk to you guys."
She let go of Angel's hand, though reluctantly, and grabbed one each of both Willow and Xander.
"Look, guys, I know I haven't been the best kind of friend these past few months, what with Angel, teaming up with SDO, the Huntsman, college, and everything. I wanted to say sorry for that."
Xander managed to keep his eyes from tearing up. True, he had been feeling kind of neglected these last few months. It had gotten a bit better after Buffy told them all about SDO, taking them into her confidence once again. He was also aware of how much was on her plate right now, how many things she had to worry about all at the same time. Still, he would have been more than human if some small feeling of abandonment had not remained.
"There is nothing you have to be sorry about," he said, meaning it. "Now, if you were the snobbish college girl ditching the embarrassing former friend who couldn't make the grade, that would be something else. But you are not and I know it, Buff. And if there is anything I can do to help, just let me know, okay?"
"We're the Slayerettes, remember?" Willow smiled at her. "It's in our charter to help the Slayer whenever she needs it. And that goes double for our friend Buffy."
"You guys," Buffy said, choking back a sob.
She then told them about her confrontation with Burke. Xander knew the gist of the files Willow had somehow managed to pull out of the pentagon or from whatever super-secret computer she had gotten it from. To hear about the details, though, to realize that someone in the government had actively tried to enhance human soldiers by demonizing them ... it was way beyond disgusting.
"And you think these five guys are back and looking for some major pay- back?" he asked.
"I think they already got it once," Buffy said. "At least one of these five was pumped up with werewolf blood and I don't think it's a coincidence that this General Elling was reportedly torn apart by wild dogs."
Buffy paused for a moment, hoping that mentioning a werewolf would not get Willow thinking of Oz again. The witch seemed to have gotten a handle on that this last month or so and Buffy did not want to put her back to square one. Willow just nodded, though, no sign of heartbreak to be seen.
"So what?" Xander asked. "They think someone is starting up their old theme park again and want to register their protest to the new owners?"
"Something like that," Buffy nodded. "Only ... I believe Burke when he says that all he wants to do is kill demons. I trust my instincts on this. But ... maybe he doesn't know everything, maybe his bosses are not telling him everything."
She sighed deeply, her hand unconsciously clutching Angel's again.
"At this point it doesn't really matter, though. I mean ... Burke is all business. If those Team 666 guys get in his way he wants to do what's necessary. And from the way that woman attacked me without hesitation I kinda get that she and her partners are not much interested in explanations, either."
Buffy shook her head. "I get the terrible feeling that they're headed for a collision and I really don't know what to do about it."
"Well ... that woman, Julia, she did attack you."
"Yeah, I know, but ... you read the files, Will. You know what was done to them. Can you really blame them for trying to keep it from happening again?"
"No," Xander interjected, "but I can blame them for trying to kill someone without getting the whole story first. Buff, these guys might have all the right in the world to feel pissed off, but that doesn't excuse killing people. Do you really think they'll just tell Burke, Riley, and the other secret agent guys off and slap their wrists a little?"
"But it's all right for Burke to kill them in return?" Buffy asked.
"Buffy," Willow said softly, "maybe you are putting too much thought into this. We don't really know that any of these people except that woman are still alive and ... and maybe they won't just come along and start killing people. I mean ... yeah, so they are part demon after some government experiment used them as guinea pigs, but ..."
Willow stopped herself, realizing that her babble was going in circles.
"What I meant to say was, maybe it won't come down to you having to stop them from killing each other."
"But what if it does, Will? What then?"
She turned to look at Angel again, not clutching his limp hand with both of hers.
"I had a dream last night," she told them. Or maybe she told him. "I don't know if it was one of those prophetic Slayer things, but ... well, I woke up screaming."
Buffy had barely spent a night in her and Willow's dorm room as of late, staying either at the hospital or at Angel's mansion, the place where they had spent the all too short time between his return to Sunnydale and the attack of the Huntsman. The thought of her sleeping alone in that dark and empty place nearly drove tears into Willow's eyes.
"What did you see?" Willow asked.
"A battle. I'm not really sure who was fighting and why, but ... I was right in the middle and I knew that I had to stop it or people would die. Innocent people. But I couldn't stop them, none of them. There were so many faces, all of them filled with hatred. And then ... King was there, too."
Xander balled his fists. He wanted to get his hands on that bastard Jackson King, never mind the fact that he would probably not fare any better in that encounter than Riley and Angel, both of whom were much better fighters than he was. King had remained quiet ever since attacking Angel and Giles theorized that the young man was somehow waiting for Buffy to come to him, now that he had 'freed' her of her human boyfriend.
Buffy certainly wanted to find him, though not for the reason King might imagine, but it appeared that the splintering of the Slayer force between Buffy and Faith that had allowed Buffy to resist the mating bond with the Huntsman also prevented her from feeling his presence as easily as King seemed to sense hers.
"He was killing people," Buffy continued," killing people left and right, all the while telling me that he was doing it all for me, so that we could be together. And ... and some part of me wanted it that way. Wanted to be with him. I ... I want to hurt him for what he did to Angel, but ... I don't know whether I can. What if ... what if the bond is stronger than me the next time? What if I can't resist and ..."
"You are stronger than that stupid bond, Buff," Xander stopped her rambling. "I know that. When King shows his face you are going to kick his ass, okay?"
"I wish I could be so confident."
Buffy brought Angel's hand up to her cheek. "I just ... what if it happens that way? What if he suddenly turns up in the middle of a battle and ... God, I know there is no good answer to that, guys, I really do. I just need to figure out what to do. About King. About SDO. About those Team 666 guys. All of this really needs one hundred percent of my attention, not to mention my college classes, my boyfriend who might never wake up again, my friends, my mom, and ... it's just too much."
Neither Xander nor Willow knew what to say to that, but they both realized that their friend, super-strong Buffy, was hovering near her breaking point. The man she loved was almost dead. Thanks to the Slayer inside her she was about lose control and maybe fall for the guy who nearly killed Angel. Two groups of people, neither of whom were evil, seemed set to start killing each other and she seemed to be the only interested in stopping them.
Willow moved to Buffy's side, wrapping her arms around her shaking friend. Xander quickly followed suit.
"You're not alone in this, Buffy," Willow whispered. "Whatever happens, we're here to help."
Buffy said nothing, just took whatever comfort she could get from the presence of her friends and kept staring at the slack face of Angel, his skin the same shade of white as the bed sheets. This was not right. He could go out into the sun now. He should be tanned. They should have gone to the beach, just the two of them, just to have some time off.
Things used to be so easy. Black and white. Vampires and the Slayer. Kill the evil guys and never lose a moment of sleep over it. Where were the evil guys now, though? Burke and his men? Certainly not. Good guys, just prepared to cross lines that Buffy refused to. Team 666? Maybe, though after what had been done to them she just could not find it in her heart to blame them.
King? God, how she wanted to just cast him as evil and be done with it. Part of her mind would not let her, though. He was just a boy in the thralls of something much stronger than him. She just got half the vibes he got thanks to the unique situation with Faith and she was barely able to resist. How was he supposed to do it? He had hurt the man she loved and she hated him, but he was not evil, not a demon. Not someone she could just kill and be done with it.
"Is it wrong that I just want to beat up and kill something?" Buffy asked in a low voice, drawing a chuckle from Xander.
"I wouldn't call it the healthiest of urges, but understandable."
A loud beeping sound caused everyone to start and, for a horrible moment, Buffy thought it was some kind of emergency beep from Angel's life support gear. When she realized it was the beeper in her pocket she relaxed visibly, pulling out the offending mechanism to look at it.
"That's Burke," she told the others. "Do you think he found something?"
Not waiting for them to answer she walked over the phone standing on Angel's bedside and dialed the number of SDO's staging area.
"The number you have called is not in service," a recorded voice told her.
TO BE CONTINUED
#
"Hey, Buff?" Xander asked, peeking in the door. "Can we come in?"
Buffy looked up from where she was sitting by Angel's bedside, holding one of his clammy hands. He had been like this for ten days now, they knew. Ten days and with every hour that passed the chances of him ever waking up again grew smaller and smaller. The only signs that he was even alive were the steady beep of the heart monitor and the wheezing of the respirator.
Buffy's face was a mask of tired misery as she tried to work up a smile for her friends. Xander came in, followed by Willow. The redhead felt guilty that there was nothing she could do for Angel. She and Tara had looked into healing spells, but no such luck. As Tara had said, magic was good for a lot of things but healing was not really among them. Those that could heal with magic were few and far between and required years, if not decades of training.
"Any change?" Xander sat down beside Buffy, putting a hand on her shoulder. He still was not among Angel's biggest fans, but things had gotten a lot better since the threat of Angelus' returning had been banished forever. These days Angel was just a regular guy, or as regular a guy as a former vampire could be. A guy whom Buffy loved and who might well die right before their eyes without any of them able to do anything about it.
"None," Buffy said, working hard to keep her voice from cracking up. "He's just ... but that's not why I wanted to talk to you guys. I ... I tried to work this out on my own and ... well, I had a long talk with Angel, but ... it was really more of monologue, you know?"
Both Xander and Willow could clearly smell the gallows's humor and wisely refrained from commenting.
"I also thought about Giles, but ... well, Giles is already way past suspicious about Burke and his people after everything that we found out as of late and ... I just don't think he can really help me work this out. I wanted to talk to you guys."
She let go of Angel's hand, though reluctantly, and grabbed one each of both Willow and Xander.
"Look, guys, I know I haven't been the best kind of friend these past few months, what with Angel, teaming up with SDO, the Huntsman, college, and everything. I wanted to say sorry for that."
Xander managed to keep his eyes from tearing up. True, he had been feeling kind of neglected these last few months. It had gotten a bit better after Buffy told them all about SDO, taking them into her confidence once again. He was also aware of how much was on her plate right now, how many things she had to worry about all at the same time. Still, he would have been more than human if some small feeling of abandonment had not remained.
"There is nothing you have to be sorry about," he said, meaning it. "Now, if you were the snobbish college girl ditching the embarrassing former friend who couldn't make the grade, that would be something else. But you are not and I know it, Buff. And if there is anything I can do to help, just let me know, okay?"
"We're the Slayerettes, remember?" Willow smiled at her. "It's in our charter to help the Slayer whenever she needs it. And that goes double for our friend Buffy."
"You guys," Buffy said, choking back a sob.
She then told them about her confrontation with Burke. Xander knew the gist of the files Willow had somehow managed to pull out of the pentagon or from whatever super-secret computer she had gotten it from. To hear about the details, though, to realize that someone in the government had actively tried to enhance human soldiers by demonizing them ... it was way beyond disgusting.
"And you think these five guys are back and looking for some major pay- back?" he asked.
"I think they already got it once," Buffy said. "At least one of these five was pumped up with werewolf blood and I don't think it's a coincidence that this General Elling was reportedly torn apart by wild dogs."
Buffy paused for a moment, hoping that mentioning a werewolf would not get Willow thinking of Oz again. The witch seemed to have gotten a handle on that this last month or so and Buffy did not want to put her back to square one. Willow just nodded, though, no sign of heartbreak to be seen.
"So what?" Xander asked. "They think someone is starting up their old theme park again and want to register their protest to the new owners?"
"Something like that," Buffy nodded. "Only ... I believe Burke when he says that all he wants to do is kill demons. I trust my instincts on this. But ... maybe he doesn't know everything, maybe his bosses are not telling him everything."
She sighed deeply, her hand unconsciously clutching Angel's again.
"At this point it doesn't really matter, though. I mean ... Burke is all business. If those Team 666 guys get in his way he wants to do what's necessary. And from the way that woman attacked me without hesitation I kinda get that she and her partners are not much interested in explanations, either."
Buffy shook her head. "I get the terrible feeling that they're headed for a collision and I really don't know what to do about it."
"Well ... that woman, Julia, she did attack you."
"Yeah, I know, but ... you read the files, Will. You know what was done to them. Can you really blame them for trying to keep it from happening again?"
"No," Xander interjected, "but I can blame them for trying to kill someone without getting the whole story first. Buff, these guys might have all the right in the world to feel pissed off, but that doesn't excuse killing people. Do you really think they'll just tell Burke, Riley, and the other secret agent guys off and slap their wrists a little?"
"But it's all right for Burke to kill them in return?" Buffy asked.
"Buffy," Willow said softly, "maybe you are putting too much thought into this. We don't really know that any of these people except that woman are still alive and ... and maybe they won't just come along and start killing people. I mean ... yeah, so they are part demon after some government experiment used them as guinea pigs, but ..."
Willow stopped herself, realizing that her babble was going in circles.
"What I meant to say was, maybe it won't come down to you having to stop them from killing each other."
"But what if it does, Will? What then?"
She turned to look at Angel again, not clutching his limp hand with both of hers.
"I had a dream last night," she told them. Or maybe she told him. "I don't know if it was one of those prophetic Slayer things, but ... well, I woke up screaming."
Buffy had barely spent a night in her and Willow's dorm room as of late, staying either at the hospital or at Angel's mansion, the place where they had spent the all too short time between his return to Sunnydale and the attack of the Huntsman. The thought of her sleeping alone in that dark and empty place nearly drove tears into Willow's eyes.
"What did you see?" Willow asked.
"A battle. I'm not really sure who was fighting and why, but ... I was right in the middle and I knew that I had to stop it or people would die. Innocent people. But I couldn't stop them, none of them. There were so many faces, all of them filled with hatred. And then ... King was there, too."
Xander balled his fists. He wanted to get his hands on that bastard Jackson King, never mind the fact that he would probably not fare any better in that encounter than Riley and Angel, both of whom were much better fighters than he was. King had remained quiet ever since attacking Angel and Giles theorized that the young man was somehow waiting for Buffy to come to him, now that he had 'freed' her of her human boyfriend.
Buffy certainly wanted to find him, though not for the reason King might imagine, but it appeared that the splintering of the Slayer force between Buffy and Faith that had allowed Buffy to resist the mating bond with the Huntsman also prevented her from feeling his presence as easily as King seemed to sense hers.
"He was killing people," Buffy continued," killing people left and right, all the while telling me that he was doing it all for me, so that we could be together. And ... and some part of me wanted it that way. Wanted to be with him. I ... I want to hurt him for what he did to Angel, but ... I don't know whether I can. What if ... what if the bond is stronger than me the next time? What if I can't resist and ..."
"You are stronger than that stupid bond, Buff," Xander stopped her rambling. "I know that. When King shows his face you are going to kick his ass, okay?"
"I wish I could be so confident."
Buffy brought Angel's hand up to her cheek. "I just ... what if it happens that way? What if he suddenly turns up in the middle of a battle and ... God, I know there is no good answer to that, guys, I really do. I just need to figure out what to do. About King. About SDO. About those Team 666 guys. All of this really needs one hundred percent of my attention, not to mention my college classes, my boyfriend who might never wake up again, my friends, my mom, and ... it's just too much."
Neither Xander nor Willow knew what to say to that, but they both realized that their friend, super-strong Buffy, was hovering near her breaking point. The man she loved was almost dead. Thanks to the Slayer inside her she was about lose control and maybe fall for the guy who nearly killed Angel. Two groups of people, neither of whom were evil, seemed set to start killing each other and she seemed to be the only interested in stopping them.
Willow moved to Buffy's side, wrapping her arms around her shaking friend. Xander quickly followed suit.
"You're not alone in this, Buffy," Willow whispered. "Whatever happens, we're here to help."
Buffy said nothing, just took whatever comfort she could get from the presence of her friends and kept staring at the slack face of Angel, his skin the same shade of white as the bed sheets. This was not right. He could go out into the sun now. He should be tanned. They should have gone to the beach, just the two of them, just to have some time off.
Things used to be so easy. Black and white. Vampires and the Slayer. Kill the evil guys and never lose a moment of sleep over it. Where were the evil guys now, though? Burke and his men? Certainly not. Good guys, just prepared to cross lines that Buffy refused to. Team 666? Maybe, though after what had been done to them she just could not find it in her heart to blame them.
King? God, how she wanted to just cast him as evil and be done with it. Part of her mind would not let her, though. He was just a boy in the thralls of something much stronger than him. She just got half the vibes he got thanks to the unique situation with Faith and she was barely able to resist. How was he supposed to do it? He had hurt the man she loved and she hated him, but he was not evil, not a demon. Not someone she could just kill and be done with it.
"Is it wrong that I just want to beat up and kill something?" Buffy asked in a low voice, drawing a chuckle from Xander.
"I wouldn't call it the healthiest of urges, but understandable."
A loud beeping sound caused everyone to start and, for a horrible moment, Buffy thought it was some kind of emergency beep from Angel's life support gear. When she realized it was the beeper in her pocket she relaxed visibly, pulling out the offending mechanism to look at it.
"That's Burke," she told the others. "Do you think he found something?"
Not waiting for them to answer she walked over the phone standing on Angel's bedside and dialed the number of SDO's staging area.
"The number you have called is not in service," a recorded voice told her.
TO BE CONTINUED