Author note: Sorry I didn't update in a while. Things were crazy with other stories and I got a bit stuck with this one. HOWEVER, the rest of the story is now completely outlined and all that remains is writing the chapters so it should be easier to update.
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Thawing
Chapter Four: Fodder to the fire
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The fire crackled in front of him and Soujirou let himself get lost in the flames. As the heat consumed the wood he almost wished he could feed his own thoughts to the fire. There should be no question about what his next move should be. There had been no questions until… until the day he was defeated.
In his old world, he would have offered Seisuke to Saitou without hesitation. The man had made a mistake, joined a group that was not supposed to exist and should be terminated immediately. But this was no longer about allowing the strongest to survive. That philosophy had been wrong.
But what should rule his decisions now? In his mind, it made sense that Seisuke would be arrested. But each time he almost came to that conclusion, all he could see were images of the gentle man playing with his children. This was not a killer, merely a farmer who let his profits be used for questionable things. The thought of him getting in trouble, of leaving behind those children to face the same harsh world Soujirou had been exposed to…
So you'll let your emotions make a decision for you now, logic chided him. You've merely gone from one extreme to another.
Soujirou wiped the voice from his mind and stared into the fire once more. So what if he allowed emotions to rule his decisions? Wasn't that what most people did? True, but most people had a better grasp on their emotions then he did. Each time he felt them stir inside of him, it made his head spin and he almost felt sick to his stomach.
He would wonder why it provoked such a strong physical reaction but he had answered that question early on in his journey. The emotions he felt, they had their opposites. So happiness over playing with Seisuke's children were countered with sorrow over his own childhood. Hope for their future was quickly countered with worry over their safety. It was like he couldn't experience one with the other.
And somewhere deep in his mind, he knew there were worse emotions yet to feel. Like regret. Regret over his parents. Over the innocents he had killed. Over the friends, like Senkaku, who he had murdered mercilessly that fine day next to the river on command from Shishio. There were feeling that might not be countered by good ones.
Standing up, Soujirou padded wordlessly from the fire to the kitchen to get some food. As he passed by the candlelit rooms, he tried to overhear the conversations, desperately searching for something to give Saitou in their meeting. Ever since the foreign minister had come to the bordello, things had been quiet. And as their biweekly meeting approached, Soujirou found himself without anything to report except Seisuke's name.
"She's getting worse each day. The doctors aren't sure what to do."
"They were very close. It's not as if she shouldn't be upset. But to starve yourself… especially with three children to think of. It's atrocious."
Soujirou frowned. The little clues had already lead him to the know who there prostitutes were talking about. Hayami, Seisuke's wife, had been in deep mourning since learning her sister had died. But Soujirou never expected it have gotten this bad.
"And the poor dears… they stay by here all day and try to get her to eat. Her husband's heart is breaking you can see it in his eyes!"
"He needs to find some release…" There were a few giggles. "Well, I didn't mean that. But you have to admit, he does have a nice…"
Soujirou sighed and walked away, not wanting to hear the inane chatter of the women. There was nothing useful to learn from them tonight. He passed by the rest of the rooms and entered the kitchen, rifling through the cupboards until he found a piece of bread to munch on.
Sitting on the nearest table, he let his feet dangle off the ground as he ate his food. His mind was still thinking but he forced it to do other things, like count the squares on the ground or pick out which night bird was singing.
"Seta-san."
Soujirou blinked and looked up, surprised to see Seisuke's frame in the doorway. "Hai," Soujirou said, finishing off a mouthful of bread.
"I need to speak with you," Seisuke said, his eyes full of anger.
Soujirou let his feet touch the ground and he walked towards the other man cautiously. He didn't want to fight Seisuke but if the other man…
"It's about Keiko, my sister's wife."
* * *
"The prostitute's name was Keiko. She was working there for at least five years, after her parents died. Her sister was there as well but managed to get married only after a year."
Smoke filled the room. "And this is the same sister that we believe claimed the body."
"Yes sir."
"And have we found her?"
"Not exactly."
"Not exactly?"
"Well sir we believe that she is probably staying at the bordello she and her sister came from. It would make sense."
Saitou took in a long drag and nodded. "I'll take care of it from here then."
"Yes sir. There is one more thing…" Saitou looked over at the officer with a raised eyebrow. "Rumors in the town are that you're the one that killed the girl. That it was a love affair gone…"
The officer quickly trailed off and bowed deeply, letting the last bit go unsaid. There was no reason to continue. The harsh look Saitou had given him quickly assuaged the fear that his commander was the one responsible.
"That was unnecessary," Saitou's young assistant said. "As if to imply that you would…" The assistant trailed off realizing that Saitou was ignoring him and moved to the back of the room, retrieving the stack of papers and handing them to his boss.
Saitou leafed through and made some notes on a piece of a paper before handing it to the other man. "Have one officer follow each of these men and tell me what you learn."
"Hai, Fujita-sama."
* * *
Soujirou listened to Seisuke's story with a frown and then let the silence grow as he pondered the current turn of events.
"You don't believe me," Seisuke stated.
"It's not that," Soujirou said quickly, drawing up a smile as best he could. "I was merely confused that you were told that the killer was one man when they clearly knew it was another."
"It doesn't matter," Seisuke replied. "Maybe it was just a mistake, maybe it was a lie. All that matters now is that I know who is responsible for Keiko's death. And I'm going to make him pay. Now, can you help me or not?"
Soujirou looked up at the older man, suddenly flooded with images of him playing with his children. They were quickly replaced by the thought of the simple farmer sprawled on the snow, bleeding to death in the cold winter's night because no one would help him.
"I don't know if you can understand," Seisuke said suddenly. "My wife… she's dying slowly from the grief. I've tried everything I can think of but maybe… maybe this will help. Have you ever lost someone close to you?"
Soujirou blinked. He had lost his family, his friends but it had almost always been by his own hand. Shishio? Did that count? No, Soujirou had not lost him, it was the other way around. Soujirou had walked away from him.
"It makes all those happy moments," Seisuke continued, "suddenly become so bitter. Every laugh you once shared becomes another reason to cry. I see it in my wife's eyes, the agony of all those years of memories. Keiko should not have died… not like that."
Soujirou looked Seisuke and slowly nodded. The other man's face broke into relief. "By the light of the moon, then," he said. "I know where he'll be."
Seisuke quickly left and Soujirou looked down at the bread, his appetite fleeing from him as the gravity of the situation sank in. He tossed the remaining bread into the cupboard and walked back upstairs to his room.
Against the wall in the back lay his sword. Soujirou moved slowly to it, letting his hand wrap around the now familiar handle. With a soft click, he let it slide from the sheath, examining the blade in the red glow of the candle. It looked like it was suddenly covered in blood and Soujirou snapped his eyes shut, banishing the thought from his mind.
No, he could do this. He had chosen to walk a path of redemption but it didn't mean that it would be the same path others had walked. He held a true sword here but could he use it?
He recognized the feeling in his stomach as his mind tried to come to a decision. He felt tingling in his fingers, a sign of excitement at the prospect of another fight but it was quickly being countered by a gnawing feeling of fear that he might get hurt. There was warmth in his cheeks as in mild anger he remembered Seisuke's words about his wife's condition mingled in with the desire to just stay away, to not get involved.
He let the emotions stir within him trying to understand each, justifying why one should be ignored and another should be pursued. The moon rose above the horizon, full as it cast down silver light to the street of Sapporo.
Soujirou let the blade finally move again, locking it in place as he took it with him out the door.
* * *
"…so I say, let the damn whore rot in there. See if I come back!" The road erupted in laughter as the three men laughed at the joke.
"Only you'd scare a woman so badly that she'd lock in an outhouse rather than face you, boss!"
That caused a bit more laughter though one of the men seemed less than pleased. "Just keep laughing when I stop paying you."
"Oi… come on, then. It was only a joke."
"Where to now boss?"
"Hey, how about that Hall of Celestial Delights? The woman there are the best in Sapporo and we haven't been there in two months!"
"No."
"Why not boss?"
"We're never going back there."
"What… some little girl lock herself in the oven instead of the outhouse?"
"SHUT UP!" The two men fell silent as their boss grew suddenly angry. "Never say the name of that accursed place again. Do you understand me?"
"Yeah… yeah, sure thing boss."
"No problem."
"Let's go home. I've lost my desire to stay out tonight."
The two men fell into silent step behind the taller figure, knowing that any joking now would probably result in their termination.
There was a rustling in the tree and the two men stopped walking. With a quick glance, one grabbed their boss while the other grabbed his sword. He had barely made it halfway out of the sheath before his sword hand was suddenly severed from the wrist.
Crying out in pain, the first guard toppled backwards and the second tried to move his boss quickly out of the way. But a sword to the chest stop his run and the guard fell to the ground, leaving only the man he worked for standing.
"Why?" he demanded.
Seisuke came out of the shadows and looked at the man. "You are Mitsuda Daisuke, correct?"
The man's eyes stared at him, looking for some sign of familiarity. "Are you from the ruling party? Has my disagreement with them finally warranted an execution?"
Seisuke looked at him coldly, barely noting that Soujirou had stepped next to him. "Did you know a lady by the name of Keiko, she lived in the Hall of Celestial Delights."
Mitsuda suddenly laughed. "Of course, of course," he repeated beneath the laughter.
Seisuke snapped forward grabbing him on the collar. "Do you think this is funny!" He yelled.
The man nodded. "I knew that girl would be the death of me. Asking all those question after lading me up with sake. I knew there was more than innocent curiosity behind those words. I tried to silence her but it appears that my secrets have already fallen on enemy ears. I should have killed her the moment she asked her first question."
Seisuke threw the man to the ground and turned away, trying to let his anger cool before he tore the man to shreds with his bare hands.
Mitsuda looked up at Soujirou, a smile of fear and disbelief still on the doomed man's face. "Are you enjoying yourself? Playing with your prey before you kill him off?"
Soujirou blinked and studied the man. He pondered the question before the answer suddenly became very clear.
"No… no, I'm not."
Mitsuda was about to say something but a sword pierced his throat. The man blinked and looked up at Seisuke.
"She was my wife's sister," Seisuke said before he withdrew the sword and let the body fall to the ground.
Seisuke's breath was rapid, even as the final bit of light faded from Mitsuda's. And then suddenly he collapsed on to the ground, his sword clattering away as sobs overtook his body. Soujirou watched silently, wiping the last bit of blood from his own weapon before slipping it back into the sheath.
He knelt to the ground and looked at Seisuke's face, seeing that the rage had been replaced with something else. Grief and regret etched its way into the wrinkles there, quieting the seething fire of anger. Soujirou looked at him and the bodies on the ground, his own feeling starting to become apparent.
He had not enjoyed it. Not at all.
* * *
"SIR!"
Saitou and his assistant watched as the door was flung open and an out of breath police officer stumbled inside. The assistant quickly moved to calm the other man down while Saitou watched him with impassive golden eyes.
"I was watching Mitsuda Daisuke as ordered." Saitou nodded, remembering the name as one of the men who had frequented the dead prostitute.
"Go on," Saitou prompted.
"He was just assassinated a few moments ago!"
The news made even Saitou blink in surprise. "Who did it?" he demanded.
The officer shook his head. "I didn't see their faces but one of them was very fast. The other one was yelling at Mitsuda and struck the final blow only… only it seemed he collapsed in agony shortly afterward and his friend had to drag him back to the brothel."
Saitou took out a cigarette and quickly lit it. His mind whirling through the evidence, slowly drawing the threads that would connect them. A dead prostitute. The farmer family that had claimed her. A man who killed but apparently didn't have the true spirit of a warrior. And finally a return to the brothel.
Letting out a cloud of smoke, Saitou reached down to his desk. "Apparently our case is closed. The man who murdered the prostitute is dead."
"But how…" his assistant started.
"The Hall of Celestial Delights was suspected to be the hiding place of the Genkai nada. The girl came from there. Obviously, she specialized in more things than advertised."
"What do you mean?" his assistant asked.
"Mitsuda Daisuke was a leading member of the minority political party in Hokkaido, a real thorn in the current government's side. Considering the recent collaborations of the Genkai nada and the foreign ministry, is it so hard to imagine that they are collecting information against the government's opponents? More than likely it's through their prostitutes."
As the assistant processed the information, Saitou's frown deepened. Looking up, the assistant became more confused. "The girl obviously got more information than she should have," the assistant concluded. "So he killed her, case closed, right? We know who killed the girl and we know were to look for his murderers."
"Perhaps," Saitou replied, drawing in a deep breath off his cigarette. "Or perhaps this will make our case even more complicated."
"How so?"
"A wounded animal will fight twice as hard against an aggressor than if he had just been left alone."
As if to answer his parable, the street of Sapporo were suddenly filled with ringing bells.
* * *
Soujirou studied the cool bucket of water before taking it in both hands and dumping it over his head. As the cold water worked its way through his hair and down his back, Soujirou realized his face had been in a frown since the moment he had attacked the first guard.
He hadn't enjoyed it at all, but it had to be done. They were murderers, they were evil. They had caused Seisuke and his family so much pain. But somehow all the justification in the world was not helping assuage his guilt.
So this is remorse. I can feel glad that I helped put Seisuke's mind at ease, that I may have helped his wife recover but I can't feel that without guilt over taking someone else's life.
It was a dichotomy and one that he realized ruled everyone's life. It had been easier without emotion to kill. To have enjoyed the kill would have made him cruel and evil, just like the men he exterminated. But to wallow in grief like Seisuke was doing now, that made him weak and unworthy of the sword. He had been the perfect killer.
Which will it be, Soujirou? The sword is all you have ever known. Will you leave it behind and fade into the simple life of marriage and children? Letting your skills fade as you take up a hoe and work the land instead. What do you want?
What do I want?
What do I want?
And he realized suddenly, that he had no idea how to think about that question let alone answer it. With no emotion, he had never had a desire to change. But all the walking he had done, all the things he had seen and finally let inside of him, were changing that. Did he want the family Seisuke had? The pang of jealousy he felt every time he watched them made it seem like he did. Did he want to continue on as a swordsman? Maybe not… he found himself not enjoying another's death at all.
The water dripped its way to the floor and disappeared between the small cracks there. Soujirou watched them for a moment before seeing something else beneath the floor. Kneeling down he put his face to the ground, trying to hear what was going on below. It sounded like someone was stomping on leaves but it smelt like…
Soujirou stood up quickly and left the room, his voice echoing loudly through the hallways.
"FIRE!"
Door flung open and the inhabitants of the brothel began to run, tumbling through the exits just as the flames licked at the upper floor of the building. Soujirou stumbled outside, looking around for Ichiro and Koharu. The moment he saw them, he ran to them, making sure they were all right.
"We're fine," Ichiro lied, trying to hide the scared tears. Koharu was clutching her baby sister to her chest.
"Where are your parents?" Soujirou demanded.
"Dad went back inside for mom," Ichiro said softly before the tears finally broke free. "He's going to be all right, isn't he? Right?"
Soujirou nodded and put a smile on. "Yes. I'm going to go get him now. Just stay here."
Leaving the surprised children behind him, Soujirou bounded back into the house, speeding through the hallways to find the room where he knew Ichiro's family lived. Ignoring the overwhelming heat and the overpowering smoke, he kicked open the door and stumbled inside.
Seisuke was there but he lay motionless next to the ground, next to his wife who was in a similar situation. Soujirou ran up and tried to wake the other man up but it was no use. Looking up, he could see the fire was slowly eating away at the ceiling. In a few moments this room would be devoured.
And then he suddenly realized. He could not take both of them outside. Dragging one person would be hard enough but… but two?
"When winter is this fast approaching it most certainly is. Please, you can join the rest of my family in the back. It will save you time."
He had to choose. And he had to choose quickly.
"It's no trouble at all," Hayami called, suddenly appearing from the back of the cart. "There's more than enough room here."
BUT HOW? His mind screamed.
Take one.
"Ichiro, if you do not stop pestering Seta-san, then you won't have dinner tonight."
Which one?
Either. Does it matter?
Seisuke caught Ichiro and spun him around once before hurtling down the stairs towards Koharu. The little girl squealed in delight and took off running.
YES! OF COURSE IT DOES! Whoever I leave behind will… will…
It wouldn't have mattered before.
But it does matter now.
It does, Soujirou realized. If he still didn't feel anything, it wouldn't have mattered. He wouldn't even be here in the first place. But now… now…
He quickly leaned forward and grabbed Seisuke's arm, pulling it around his shoulder as he made his way back through the halls. There was a cracking behind him and the ceiling collapsed, taking with it the last remains of the bedroom.
Soujirou struggled outside, his eyes overwhelmed with the smoke as he trudged through the fiery remains of the brothel. He saw the outside finally and fell to the ground, barely aware of the hands that pulled him and Seisuke away to safety.
"Have you ever lost someone close to you?"
Soujirou looked up, watching as the two children swarmed around their father. He watched them collapse on the ground next to him, crying and pulling at him to wake him up. Seisuke's eyes fluttered open and there was a moment of relief before they started asking about their mother.
"It makes all those happy moments suddenly become so bitter. Every laugh you once shared becomes another reason to cry."
Seisuke and the children began to look around before their eyes landed on Soujirou. The children eyes pleadingly asking him the question they didn't have the strength to form into words.
"I see it in my wife's eyes, the agony of all those years of memories."
So he turned away and began to cough into the ground. Though whether it was an attempt to expel the smoke from his lung or the emotions in his heart, not even he could tell.
* * *
Saitou quickly followed behind his police troops, motioning them to their stations quickly just as the fire brigade came barreling up the street.
"Keep those civilians away from the fire," his assistant screamed. "Make a path for the firemen."
With a frown, he watched the brothel go up in smoke. This was not a good turn of events. It was too quick for it to be coincidence. The fire was retaliation for Mitsuda's execution.
Sapporo would be a dangerous place now, with two sides attempting to destroy the other first. The street would run with blood. He looked around, trying to pick out his only potential aide in all of this but Soujirou was nowhere to be found.
Cursing under his breath, Saitou began to move closer to see if he could see his informant there. Of all the luck, to lose the only place he knew the Genkai nada existed and his only link to their organization at the same time.
And then he saw him, coughing on the ground beside a distraught family. His hands were digging into the dirt as…
* * *
… the coughing racked at his body. A trembling hand came up to his lips and wiped the blood away but barely in time before another attack occurred. The snow around him was turning red with it, the pale whiteness transferring to his face.
Saitou stood riveted in his place, heart still pounding from his fight with the guards. He had lost sight of Okita for just moments as he tried to finish off his opponents. Even with several of them fleeing to safety, Saitou felt he was successfully.
A success he was all to ready to share with Okita. The entire night had been a success. Ishin Shishis were devastated by this attack. The Ikeda-ya inn was in flames, their main headquarters destroyed. And Saitou had just faced a dozen of their men and won without contest.
Okita would laugh, he would smile. He would tell him that he wished he could have been there to fight with him. Couldn't wait, Saitou-sama? he would say.
Okita should not have been on the ground like this, coughing up that much blood.
Saitou finally snapped from his trance and moved forward to meet him but Kondou and Hijikata were suddenly there.
"Is he hit?" Kondou demanded as Hijikata looked over the boy.
"No… nothing I can see."
Kondou frowned deeply. "This is not good."
Hijikata looked up, suddenly seeing Saitou nearby. Motioning the third captain over, Hijitaka began to pick Okita up. "We'll need to get him to a doctor," he told Saitou as the man joined them.
"Of course," Saitou replied getting a good grip. He looked down at Okita's face, seeing the combination of pain and agony beneath the tiny coat of blood on his lips.
"He must have taken a hit to the ribs," Kondou said suddenly. "He's coughing up blood from that."
Saitou nodded, taking in the words. In some ways he felt it wasn't the truth, as if Kondou might be trying to hide something. But as another fit of coughing wracked the boy, Saitou let all thoughts of that disappear and followed Hijitaka towards the doctor.
* * *
The doctor looked at Soujirou, forcing him to drink something to quell the coughing. Soujirou nodded as the warm brew trickled down his throat.
Saitou watched, forcing himself to pull apart the past from the present but the image was there. He couldn't make it go away. And for the first time in as long as he could remember, Saitou quickly moved away from the scene of the crime, too disturbed to remain there.