Trigun Thanksgiving
By: Rachia
Disclaimer: I don't own them, you don't sue me. You steal Rachia, I sue you (except not). You steal Miroku. well. May God/Goddess/whoever have mercy on your soul.
A/N: Marika, you wanted in, so you got in. Sorry if I seem to be picking on you, but I was. ~_^
~ ¡WARNING! ~ I was pretty much really hyper when I wrote this.
Chapter Two: Misadventures in Shopping
[Scene: Shaw's Supermarket, 11:27 am.]
Miroku: *pushes the cart along, occasionally grabbing something off the shelf and dropping it into the cart*
Milly, Meryl, Knives and Wolfwood: *walk with Miroku, staying near the cart, and occasionally putting something into the cart*
Rachia, Vash, and Legato: *race around the store, dumping armloads of food into the cart*
Miroku: -.-;
Contents of the nearly-overflowing cart: Stovetop Stuffing, Cranberry sauce, mashed potato flakes, a pack of hot dogs, Sunkist, Sprite, a 12-pack of beer, butter, pumpkin pie filling, apple pie filling, pie crusts, sweet potatoes, black olives, green olives, Donuts, Pixie Sticks, More donuts, Ice cream, another pack of hot dogs, onions, various candy bars, crème puffs, ham & cheddar hot pockets, popcorn, even MORE donuts, coffee, tea, pudding, a package of rolls, canned corn, canned peas, and still more donuts.
Rachia: *grins brightly* Okay! Now all we need is a turkey!
Miroku: Yeah. Whatever. *looks up at the ceiling and whispers 'Just kill me now. PLEASE.'*
Knives: That can be arranged, Spider.
Miroku: Don't call me a spider, plant boy.
Knives: I'll call you whatever I please. I am of a higher race than you.
Miroku: *rolls eyes* Hey Rachia! Throw some Miracle Grow in the cart too!
Rachia: *blinks* Huh? *looks hopelessly confused*
Miroku: *slams her head onto the bar of the cart* Nevermind.
Rachia: Okay... Oh look! Turkeys! *takes off towards the turkey*
Miroku: *sighs* Baka.
Vash: Oh look! More Donuts! *takes off in a different direction*
Meryl: *sighs* Baka.
Legato: Oh look! More hot-dogs! *Takes off in yet another direction*
Knives: *sighs* Baka.
(And now, for a cheap cop-out from the Authoress who is too lazy to actually write out what is happening...)
20 minutes later, after relocating Rachia, choosing a turkey, relocating Vash, prying him off the donuts, relocating Legato, prying him off the hot dogs, and struggling to keep the three food-happy members of the dysfunctional party near the cart, everyone finally reached the cash register.
Strange looking Neon Green-Haired Boy at the Register (his name is Spencer): *looks bored and chomps on his gum loudly*
Miroku: Err... Are you the cashier?
Spencer: *blinks*
Miroku: Uh...
Spencer: *monotone voice* Happy Thanksgiving and welcome to Shaw's Supermarket. *Slowly starts running the items over the scanner*
Rachia Vash and Legato: *keep sneaking candy bars into the pile of groceries on the counter*
Miroku: *sighs* *taps foot impatiently* Look, uh... *sees Spencer's name tag* Spencer. Can you hurry it up so we're out of here before Christmas?
Spencer: *snaps a gum bubble and continues at the same pace*
Miroku: OI! LISTEN TO ME YOU GREEN HAIRED FOOL!
Spencer: *pays absolutely no attention*
Miroku: *reaches over the checkout counter and grabs Spencer by the collar* HEY! SEAWEED HEAD! LISTEN UP!
Wolfwood: Whoa... Scary bitch. *Sees a box of Midol on the shelf next to the line and grabs it, chucking it at Miroku's head*
Miroku: *glares at Wolfwood*
Knives: *looks around impatiently* How bout I just kill the unnaturally coloured cashier spider?
Vash: O.O. NO! KNIVES! YOU CAN'T KILL HIM! LOVE AND PEACE!
Wolfwood: . Oh god, not again...
Vash: No one has the right to take--
Knives: *mocking tone* -The life of another. Blah. Blah. Blah. Vashu, I've heard that little speech so many times I lost count nearly 120 years ago.
Rachia: *snorts* A lot of good it did you.
Knives: *glares*
Spencer: *FINALLY finishes scanning all the items* That'll be $6,427.97
Rachia: NANI?! I don't have that much!
Miroku: There's no possible way one cart - albeit a very FULL one - can cost that much!
Knives: Legato.
Legato: Yes Mastah?
Knives: Change this Green-haired spider's mind so we can leave?
Legato: Yes Mastah. *stares at Spencer*
Spencer: Wha-huh? *blinks* *monotone voice* That'll be $4.38
Rachia: *pulls out a lump of crinkled bills* Hey Miroku...
Miroku: What?
Rachia: Can I borrow a buck fifty?
Miroku: NANI!? You mean you were planning to buy Thanksgiving dinner for 8 with 2 dollars and 88 cents!?
Vash: What's a 'dollar'?
Wolfwood: Half a double dollar?
Vash: Oh.
Miroku: *hands Rachia a 5 dollar bill*
Rachia: Arigatou! ^_^ *gives Spencer the money*
Spencer: *monotone* Thank you for shopping Shaw's Supermarket. Have a nice day. Or something.
Everyone: *grabs a few grocery bags and heads out of the store*
Rachia: *looks around the parking lot* Uh... does anyone remember where I parked?
Miroku: *moves a bag out from in front of her face* Yeah right over ... *points, but there is no car there* ...there?
Rachia: OH NO! Someone stole the car!
Meryl: How could they steal the car unless it was unlocked and the keys were in it?
Rachia: uh.... *looks guilty*
Meryl: -_- oh.
Miroku: YOU DID WHAT!?!
Rachia: GOMEN! I uh... kinda forgot....
Miroku: You REALIZE you just lost your fathers work van, right?
Rachia: *nods*
Miroku: You REALIZE he's gonna kill you, right?
Rachia: *nods*
Vash: NANI!? He can't kill her! No one has the ri--
Miroku: *stuffs a donut from the box in her bag in Vash's mouth* I was speaking metaphorically.
Vash: *swallows the donut whole* oh.
Milly: But how are we going to get home?
Wolfwood: I'm sure as hell not walking!
Perky Voice from a car window: RACHIA-CHAN! MIROKU-CHAN!
Rachia: O.O OH NO!
Miroku: O.O Its...
Voice: Hi guys! It's me! *jumps out of the car*
Rachia & Miroku (groaning) & Voice (perky): Marika!
Marika: *notices everyone else* Who are all these people?
Rachia: Uh.... Relatives? Yeah! That's it! Relatives!
Knives: NANI!? I'm not related to you, spider!
Rachia: *laughs nervously* Oh... uh.. Uncle Knives! Stop kidding around!
Knives: *looks outraged*
Marika: *stares at Legato for a moment* So are you going to introduce me to everyone?
Rachia: Uh... sure! *Points to Knives* this is Uncle Knives *Points to Meryl* Aunt Meryl *Points to Legato* Cousin Legato *Points to Milly* Cousin Milly *Points to Vash* and Uncle Va--
Vash: I am Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabonetry Gumbigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andriff Charton-Haymoss Ivanovicci Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser the Third. Don't hesitate to call!
Meryl: -_- Don't mind Vash... he's a bit mentally retarded...
Vash: T_T. That's so cold.
Marika: Konnichiwa Minna... *keeps looking at Legato* *whispers to Rachia* Rachia! Your cousin Legato is HOT! *winks at him*
Legato: *stares boredly*
Rachia: *nervous laughter and sweatdrop*
Meryl: Can we please return to the issue of how were going to get back to Rachia's house?
Marika: Oh! You guys need a ride? *points to her van* Hop right in!
Miroku & Rachia: *go pale* O.O *in unison* No that's--
Everyone: *starts piling in*
Wolfwood: Hey it can be any worse than Rachia's driving! *hops in*
Rachia: *glares at Wolfwood then reluctantly gets in*
Marika: *winks at Legato again* You can sit up front with me if you want...
Legato: *blinks, then gets in the back next to Knives*
Marika: ...or not... *blinks* *gets in front* Okay! Everyone ready? LETS GO! *slams foot on gas pedal*
*After only 10 minutes, and countless speed limit violations (or was it one big one?) and numerous near-accidents, the group quickly and shakily piles out of the car in Rachia's driveway with the grocery bags*
Wolfwood: *unsteadily lights a cigarette and inhales deeply, letting it calm his nerves* Okay, so I was wrong.
Marika: *waves happily out her car window, then drives off, taking out Rachia's mailbox*
Rachia: -_- *walks over and tries to fix the mailbox*
Milly: Rachia-san! Look!
Rachia: Huh? *looks up* What is it Milly?
Milly: Your car is back! ^_^
Rachia: *turns and looks, and sure enough, the large white van is sitting neatly parked in the driveway, uninjured* O.O Wau.
Miroku: Who steals a car and returns it unharmed? And not even to the place it was stolen from...
Rachia: *shrugs* Don't look a gift llama in the mouth, Miroku-chan
Miroku: ...llama?
Rachia: *picks up her groceries* C'mon! Lets go inside!
Everyone: *follows inside with his or her bags*
Miroku: *follows behind muttering "Llama?"*
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------
A/N: Sorry for the delay! I got tied up in the horrid thing known as homework, and kinda forgot about my "wonderful" fanfic. I have chapter 3 written already, so it wont be long until it's up as well.
^_^\\// Love & Peace & Donuts & Mailboxes
~RaChIa ThE sTaMpEdE~
Disclaimer: I don't own them, you don't sue me. You steal Rachia, I sue you (except not). You steal Miroku. well. May God/Goddess/whoever have mercy on your soul.
A/N: Marika, you wanted in, so you got in. Sorry if I seem to be picking on you, but I was. ~_^
~ ¡WARNING! ~ I was pretty much really hyper when I wrote this.
Chapter Two: Misadventures in Shopping
[Scene: Shaw's Supermarket, 11:27 am.]
Miroku: *pushes the cart along, occasionally grabbing something off the shelf and dropping it into the cart*
Milly, Meryl, Knives and Wolfwood: *walk with Miroku, staying near the cart, and occasionally putting something into the cart*
Rachia, Vash, and Legato: *race around the store, dumping armloads of food into the cart*
Miroku: -.-;
Contents of the nearly-overflowing cart: Stovetop Stuffing, Cranberry sauce, mashed potato flakes, a pack of hot dogs, Sunkist, Sprite, a 12-pack of beer, butter, pumpkin pie filling, apple pie filling, pie crusts, sweet potatoes, black olives, green olives, Donuts, Pixie Sticks, More donuts, Ice cream, another pack of hot dogs, onions, various candy bars, crème puffs, ham & cheddar hot pockets, popcorn, even MORE donuts, coffee, tea, pudding, a package of rolls, canned corn, canned peas, and still more donuts.
Rachia: *grins brightly* Okay! Now all we need is a turkey!
Miroku: Yeah. Whatever. *looks up at the ceiling and whispers 'Just kill me now. PLEASE.'*
Knives: That can be arranged, Spider.
Miroku: Don't call me a spider, plant boy.
Knives: I'll call you whatever I please. I am of a higher race than you.
Miroku: *rolls eyes* Hey Rachia! Throw some Miracle Grow in the cart too!
Rachia: *blinks* Huh? *looks hopelessly confused*
Miroku: *slams her head onto the bar of the cart* Nevermind.
Rachia: Okay... Oh look! Turkeys! *takes off towards the turkey*
Miroku: *sighs* Baka.
Vash: Oh look! More Donuts! *takes off in a different direction*
Meryl: *sighs* Baka.
Legato: Oh look! More hot-dogs! *Takes off in yet another direction*
Knives: *sighs* Baka.
(And now, for a cheap cop-out from the Authoress who is too lazy to actually write out what is happening...)
20 minutes later, after relocating Rachia, choosing a turkey, relocating Vash, prying him off the donuts, relocating Legato, prying him off the hot dogs, and struggling to keep the three food-happy members of the dysfunctional party near the cart, everyone finally reached the cash register.
Strange looking Neon Green-Haired Boy at the Register (his name is Spencer): *looks bored and chomps on his gum loudly*
Miroku: Err... Are you the cashier?
Spencer: *blinks*
Miroku: Uh...
Spencer: *monotone voice* Happy Thanksgiving and welcome to Shaw's Supermarket. *Slowly starts running the items over the scanner*
Rachia Vash and Legato: *keep sneaking candy bars into the pile of groceries on the counter*
Miroku: *sighs* *taps foot impatiently* Look, uh... *sees Spencer's name tag* Spencer. Can you hurry it up so we're out of here before Christmas?
Spencer: *snaps a gum bubble and continues at the same pace*
Miroku: OI! LISTEN TO ME YOU GREEN HAIRED FOOL!
Spencer: *pays absolutely no attention*
Miroku: *reaches over the checkout counter and grabs Spencer by the collar* HEY! SEAWEED HEAD! LISTEN UP!
Wolfwood: Whoa... Scary bitch. *Sees a box of Midol on the shelf next to the line and grabs it, chucking it at Miroku's head*
Miroku: *glares at Wolfwood*
Knives: *looks around impatiently* How bout I just kill the unnaturally coloured cashier spider?
Vash: O.O. NO! KNIVES! YOU CAN'T KILL HIM! LOVE AND PEACE!
Wolfwood: . Oh god, not again...
Vash: No one has the right to take--
Knives: *mocking tone* -The life of another. Blah. Blah. Blah. Vashu, I've heard that little speech so many times I lost count nearly 120 years ago.
Rachia: *snorts* A lot of good it did you.
Knives: *glares*
Spencer: *FINALLY finishes scanning all the items* That'll be $6,427.97
Rachia: NANI?! I don't have that much!
Miroku: There's no possible way one cart - albeit a very FULL one - can cost that much!
Knives: Legato.
Legato: Yes Mastah?
Knives: Change this Green-haired spider's mind so we can leave?
Legato: Yes Mastah. *stares at Spencer*
Spencer: Wha-huh? *blinks* *monotone voice* That'll be $4.38
Rachia: *pulls out a lump of crinkled bills* Hey Miroku...
Miroku: What?
Rachia: Can I borrow a buck fifty?
Miroku: NANI!? You mean you were planning to buy Thanksgiving dinner for 8 with 2 dollars and 88 cents!?
Vash: What's a 'dollar'?
Wolfwood: Half a double dollar?
Vash: Oh.
Miroku: *hands Rachia a 5 dollar bill*
Rachia: Arigatou! ^_^ *gives Spencer the money*
Spencer: *monotone* Thank you for shopping Shaw's Supermarket. Have a nice day. Or something.
Everyone: *grabs a few grocery bags and heads out of the store*
Rachia: *looks around the parking lot* Uh... does anyone remember where I parked?
Miroku: *moves a bag out from in front of her face* Yeah right over ... *points, but there is no car there* ...there?
Rachia: OH NO! Someone stole the car!
Meryl: How could they steal the car unless it was unlocked and the keys were in it?
Rachia: uh.... *looks guilty*
Meryl: -_- oh.
Miroku: YOU DID WHAT!?!
Rachia: GOMEN! I uh... kinda forgot....
Miroku: You REALIZE you just lost your fathers work van, right?
Rachia: *nods*
Miroku: You REALIZE he's gonna kill you, right?
Rachia: *nods*
Vash: NANI!? He can't kill her! No one has the ri--
Miroku: *stuffs a donut from the box in her bag in Vash's mouth* I was speaking metaphorically.
Vash: *swallows the donut whole* oh.
Milly: But how are we going to get home?
Wolfwood: I'm sure as hell not walking!
Perky Voice from a car window: RACHIA-CHAN! MIROKU-CHAN!
Rachia: O.O OH NO!
Miroku: O.O Its...
Voice: Hi guys! It's me! *jumps out of the car*
Rachia & Miroku (groaning) & Voice (perky): Marika!
Marika: *notices everyone else* Who are all these people?
Rachia: Uh.... Relatives? Yeah! That's it! Relatives!
Knives: NANI!? I'm not related to you, spider!
Rachia: *laughs nervously* Oh... uh.. Uncle Knives! Stop kidding around!
Knives: *looks outraged*
Marika: *stares at Legato for a moment* So are you going to introduce me to everyone?
Rachia: Uh... sure! *Points to Knives* this is Uncle Knives *Points to Meryl* Aunt Meryl *Points to Legato* Cousin Legato *Points to Milly* Cousin Milly *Points to Vash* and Uncle Va--
Vash: I am Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabonetry Gumbigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andriff Charton-Haymoss Ivanovicci Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser the Third. Don't hesitate to call!
Meryl: -_- Don't mind Vash... he's a bit mentally retarded...
Vash: T_T. That's so cold.
Marika: Konnichiwa Minna... *keeps looking at Legato* *whispers to Rachia* Rachia! Your cousin Legato is HOT! *winks at him*
Legato: *stares boredly*
Rachia: *nervous laughter and sweatdrop*
Meryl: Can we please return to the issue of how were going to get back to Rachia's house?
Marika: Oh! You guys need a ride? *points to her van* Hop right in!
Miroku & Rachia: *go pale* O.O *in unison* No that's--
Everyone: *starts piling in*
Wolfwood: Hey it can be any worse than Rachia's driving! *hops in*
Rachia: *glares at Wolfwood then reluctantly gets in*
Marika: *winks at Legato again* You can sit up front with me if you want...
Legato: *blinks, then gets in the back next to Knives*
Marika: ...or not... *blinks* *gets in front* Okay! Everyone ready? LETS GO! *slams foot on gas pedal*
*After only 10 minutes, and countless speed limit violations (or was it one big one?) and numerous near-accidents, the group quickly and shakily piles out of the car in Rachia's driveway with the grocery bags*
Wolfwood: *unsteadily lights a cigarette and inhales deeply, letting it calm his nerves* Okay, so I was wrong.
Marika: *waves happily out her car window, then drives off, taking out Rachia's mailbox*
Rachia: -_- *walks over and tries to fix the mailbox*
Milly: Rachia-san! Look!
Rachia: Huh? *looks up* What is it Milly?
Milly: Your car is back! ^_^
Rachia: *turns and looks, and sure enough, the large white van is sitting neatly parked in the driveway, uninjured* O.O Wau.
Miroku: Who steals a car and returns it unharmed? And not even to the place it was stolen from...
Rachia: *shrugs* Don't look a gift llama in the mouth, Miroku-chan
Miroku: ...llama?
Rachia: *picks up her groceries* C'mon! Lets go inside!
Everyone: *follows inside with his or her bags*
Miroku: *follows behind muttering "Llama?"*
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------
A/N: Sorry for the delay! I got tied up in the horrid thing known as homework, and kinda forgot about my "wonderful" fanfic. I have chapter 3 written already, so it wont be long until it's up as well.
^_^\\// Love & Peace & Donuts & Mailboxes
~RaChIa ThE sTaMpEdE~