I do not own The Joker, or any of the characters he happens to mention.
They are all copyright of DC comics. I do, however, own the guard and the
interviewer. :) Oh, and by the way, any crimes The Joker mentions are
entirely of my creation. I haven't kept up with the crimes in the Batman
comics so I can't mention them.
An Interview with the Joker part 2
For the second of who knows how many nights to come, I found myself in Arkham Asylum. The Joker sat perched in his seat, grinning at me. His open mouth revealed his pearly white teeth and I found myself wishing I could have teeth like that. I had learnt enough from the night before to know when to speak and when to let The Joker feel he was in total control. Now it was time for the latter. Behind me the cell door creaked as the guard started to close us in. With a slam and a twist, the door was locked and bolted. As had happened the day before, I heard the guard scuttling back to the safety of his office. The feeling of being totally alone save for a mad clown smiling at me was quite unsettling, to say the least. I started to look around the cell to try and find something that would occupy my thoughts until The Joker decided it was time to talk. I noticed a pile of clothes piled up on a desk to the left of me: a purple suit, a shirt of canary yellow and a scarlet scarf. As I was looking, The Joker's face suddenly appeared in front of mine, that undying grin still plastered onto his features.
"You like the suit? I thought it was a bit formal at first but I've grown to love it. If only I was allowed to wear them in here, instead of these drab asylum shirts. They have as much life and colour as Bat-freaks cowl. Why did he never try and add a bit of flare to the design? Robin had the right idea. I'm even kinda tempted to make a whole wardrobe of clothes using the same colours as Robin's little number next time I get out of here. And - I will get out of here. I assure you. I always do."
In that moment there seemed to be a sudden change in The Joker's demeanour. He seemed totally lost in his own thoughts of possible future crimes and there was slight murderous glint in his eye. I didn't feel particularly safe at that moment. But as quickly as all that had happened, he went back to his usual self again.
"Now! Where had we got to yesterday? Oh, yes, I remember now. Bat-sap loved Robin more than me. So I ran away from home. I couldn't stand it any longer! I formed my own little family. Sure, mainly they were mindless goons, but what does that matter? They were still a family. My family! And I could replace them as easy as anything - if Cowl-head broke a few of their body parts, they normally ran away and refused to come home, so I've had to replace them. Many times now actually. But they were loyal enough while I had them. They always threw themselves in front of me if they thought I was in danger. Of course, there was that fateful day when someone jumped me from behind, instead of attacking from in front of me. The goons weren't prepared for that at all. Fools that they were!
Yes, well, I had a family, which was all well and good, but what to do? We needed something to do. Then it struck me; Commishy Gordon! I always hated that pompous little runt. With skill and cunning that would impress -- - well, me, we dropped by the office without being noticed by a soul, and had a quiet drink with ol' Gordon. Hehe, I even gave him a little party hat! But sadly, the night had to end, and I really didn't want to say goodbye so --- we took him with us! I think it was best anyway, because Gordon didn't handle the booze very well and he plain collapsed upon the floor. Ha, you would have thought someone had spiked his drink. But who would do such a thing?"
The Joker's grin seemed to widen even more as he asked me that question.
"Whoever they were, I really wish I could meet them. It was a masterstroke, really was. A masterstroke almost as impressive as something, oh I don't know, I would do."
He was about to continue when I noticed his face drop in disappointment. I followed his gaze and saw that the guard was walking down the hallway to collect me. I had obviously out stayed my welcome for the night.
An Interview with the Joker part 2
For the second of who knows how many nights to come, I found myself in Arkham Asylum. The Joker sat perched in his seat, grinning at me. His open mouth revealed his pearly white teeth and I found myself wishing I could have teeth like that. I had learnt enough from the night before to know when to speak and when to let The Joker feel he was in total control. Now it was time for the latter. Behind me the cell door creaked as the guard started to close us in. With a slam and a twist, the door was locked and bolted. As had happened the day before, I heard the guard scuttling back to the safety of his office. The feeling of being totally alone save for a mad clown smiling at me was quite unsettling, to say the least. I started to look around the cell to try and find something that would occupy my thoughts until The Joker decided it was time to talk. I noticed a pile of clothes piled up on a desk to the left of me: a purple suit, a shirt of canary yellow and a scarlet scarf. As I was looking, The Joker's face suddenly appeared in front of mine, that undying grin still plastered onto his features.
"You like the suit? I thought it was a bit formal at first but I've grown to love it. If only I was allowed to wear them in here, instead of these drab asylum shirts. They have as much life and colour as Bat-freaks cowl. Why did he never try and add a bit of flare to the design? Robin had the right idea. I'm even kinda tempted to make a whole wardrobe of clothes using the same colours as Robin's little number next time I get out of here. And - I will get out of here. I assure you. I always do."
In that moment there seemed to be a sudden change in The Joker's demeanour. He seemed totally lost in his own thoughts of possible future crimes and there was slight murderous glint in his eye. I didn't feel particularly safe at that moment. But as quickly as all that had happened, he went back to his usual self again.
"Now! Where had we got to yesterday? Oh, yes, I remember now. Bat-sap loved Robin more than me. So I ran away from home. I couldn't stand it any longer! I formed my own little family. Sure, mainly they were mindless goons, but what does that matter? They were still a family. My family! And I could replace them as easy as anything - if Cowl-head broke a few of their body parts, they normally ran away and refused to come home, so I've had to replace them. Many times now actually. But they were loyal enough while I had them. They always threw themselves in front of me if they thought I was in danger. Of course, there was that fateful day when someone jumped me from behind, instead of attacking from in front of me. The goons weren't prepared for that at all. Fools that they were!
Yes, well, I had a family, which was all well and good, but what to do? We needed something to do. Then it struck me; Commishy Gordon! I always hated that pompous little runt. With skill and cunning that would impress -- - well, me, we dropped by the office without being noticed by a soul, and had a quiet drink with ol' Gordon. Hehe, I even gave him a little party hat! But sadly, the night had to end, and I really didn't want to say goodbye so --- we took him with us! I think it was best anyway, because Gordon didn't handle the booze very well and he plain collapsed upon the floor. Ha, you would have thought someone had spiked his drink. But who would do such a thing?"
The Joker's grin seemed to widen even more as he asked me that question.
"Whoever they were, I really wish I could meet them. It was a masterstroke, really was. A masterstroke almost as impressive as something, oh I don't know, I would do."
He was about to continue when I noticed his face drop in disappointment. I followed his gaze and saw that the guard was walking down the hallway to collect me. I had obviously out stayed my welcome for the night.