I do not own The Joker, or any of the characters he happens to mention.
They are all copyright of DC comics. I do, however, own the guard and the
interviewer. :) Oh, and by the way, any crimes The Joker mentions are
entirely of my creation. I haven't kept up with the crimes in the Batman
comics so I can't mention them.
An Interview with The Joker part 3
I looked wearily at the extended hand of The Joker. He had never offered to shake my hand before. Although still apprehensive, I decided to accept the offer. There was no reason to make The Joker angry by not accepting it. I took his hand in mine. As I did I heard a faint buzz and a sharp sting in my palm. Surprised, I cried out, which caused The Joker to laugh. He removed his grip on my hand, and showed his fingers. Attached to the index finger was a joy buzzer. A simple, corny, old-time, practical joke.
"Did you en-'joy' that little buzz? Get it?"
I ignored him. There was something different about him today. He seemed to be happier than ever, yet he didn't want to talk. I couldn't sit and wait for him to talk like I had done before. After nearly half an hour of receiving nonsense answers to all my questions, especially ones concerning the crime he had started to mention to me the night before, I turned off my tape recorder. As I was about to get up to leave, he called to me.
"Aren't you wondering how I got the joy buzzer in here?"
I waited for a while and then answered. "How?"
"I got it sent in. Simple as that. And, before you say I can't just get things sent in, it is incredibly easy for me to get things sent in because I'm The Joker, the Clown Prince of Crime! Those plebes that call themselves security guards don't see things when it's right under their noses. Security here is a joke. A joke, get it?"
Turning the tape recorder back on, I decided to see if I could turn the idle chit-chat into something useful.
"Have you ever been in love, Joker?"
"In love? Yes, all the time. I'm totally girl crazy, but they don't seem crazy about me! Crazy, get it? Ha-ha, yes. I love girls. Not marriage though. Marriage isn't for me at all! I'd rather stay single and unaltered! Get it? But, alas, despite my love for girls, they seem to steer clear of me. I'm quite crushed by that. And do you know whom they choose instead of me? Batman! Batsy! What has he got that I haven't? He wears tights! I mean, goodness gracious me, surely there is something wrong about a grown man dressing like a flying rodent and wearing tights. And they call me crazy! They put me away in the nuthouse and let him run around loose in his cape and tights. It's all quite ridiculous if I say so myself. How about you? Are you married?"
I knew this was coming. I had been told that The Joker might try and turn the interview around and turn himself into the interviewer. I wasn't going to let him.
"What happened after you kidnapped Commissioner Gordon?"
"What? You're not going to answer my question. Well, that is most intolerable. If you are not going to answer my questions, I refuse to answer yours. Good day."
Knowing there was no way to continue the session without the risk of infuriating The Joker further, I turn to take my leave.
An Interview with The Joker part 3
I looked wearily at the extended hand of The Joker. He had never offered to shake my hand before. Although still apprehensive, I decided to accept the offer. There was no reason to make The Joker angry by not accepting it. I took his hand in mine. As I did I heard a faint buzz and a sharp sting in my palm. Surprised, I cried out, which caused The Joker to laugh. He removed his grip on my hand, and showed his fingers. Attached to the index finger was a joy buzzer. A simple, corny, old-time, practical joke.
"Did you en-'joy' that little buzz? Get it?"
I ignored him. There was something different about him today. He seemed to be happier than ever, yet he didn't want to talk. I couldn't sit and wait for him to talk like I had done before. After nearly half an hour of receiving nonsense answers to all my questions, especially ones concerning the crime he had started to mention to me the night before, I turned off my tape recorder. As I was about to get up to leave, he called to me.
"Aren't you wondering how I got the joy buzzer in here?"
I waited for a while and then answered. "How?"
"I got it sent in. Simple as that. And, before you say I can't just get things sent in, it is incredibly easy for me to get things sent in because I'm The Joker, the Clown Prince of Crime! Those plebes that call themselves security guards don't see things when it's right under their noses. Security here is a joke. A joke, get it?"
Turning the tape recorder back on, I decided to see if I could turn the idle chit-chat into something useful.
"Have you ever been in love, Joker?"
"In love? Yes, all the time. I'm totally girl crazy, but they don't seem crazy about me! Crazy, get it? Ha-ha, yes. I love girls. Not marriage though. Marriage isn't for me at all! I'd rather stay single and unaltered! Get it? But, alas, despite my love for girls, they seem to steer clear of me. I'm quite crushed by that. And do you know whom they choose instead of me? Batman! Batsy! What has he got that I haven't? He wears tights! I mean, goodness gracious me, surely there is something wrong about a grown man dressing like a flying rodent and wearing tights. And they call me crazy! They put me away in the nuthouse and let him run around loose in his cape and tights. It's all quite ridiculous if I say so myself. How about you? Are you married?"
I knew this was coming. I had been told that The Joker might try and turn the interview around and turn himself into the interviewer. I wasn't going to let him.
"What happened after you kidnapped Commissioner Gordon?"
"What? You're not going to answer my question. Well, that is most intolerable. If you are not going to answer my questions, I refuse to answer yours. Good day."
Knowing there was no way to continue the session without the risk of infuriating The Joker further, I turn to take my leave.