Ch. 10

Next morning, Shannon still hadn't decided whether or not she was going to go to her supposed interview. She had tossed and turned all night, unable to sleep as she was worrying about what to do. All though not normally a particularly early riser, at seven o'clock, she had given up on any attempts at sleep and crawled out of bed.

"This is ridiculous!" she glared at herself in the mirror, "It's no big deal, why get so wound up? I've interviewed people before, why should this be any different?" She sighed; she knew exactly why it should, and would, be different. "God, it shows how little sleep I got - I need a shower."

She took a long, hot shower and as the needles of water drummed on her back, she found herself wishing her confusion could be washed down the drain as easily as the soap suds. Having finally stepped out of the shower, feeling a little more refreshed, she struggled to find something to wear.

"Not too dressed up." she muttered to herself as she held clothes in front of her, inspecting her reflection in the mirror critically, "Don't want to make it look like it's a big deal. But not too casual, it's work - an interview, not a chat. Argh, I so do not need this right now. Okay, next thing that comes out of this wardrobe, that's what I'll wear ....." she announced, reaching for a hanger. She gulped and raised her eyebrows at the short, red dress which greeted her and shook her head hastily. "On second thoughts ....."

Finally, having decided on a pair of black trousers and a red shirt, she was just finishing drying her hair when there came a knock at the door.

"Just give me a second!" she called, jumping up and hurrying to the door. "Hey, Paige, come on in."

"How are you?" asked her friend from work, stepping through the door.

"Um, been better. Do you have time for a coffee?" Shannon asked.

"Sure." answered Paige, "I'm on my way into the office, but I was running early for once, so I thought I'd drop by. Did you get that interview yesterday?"

"No. I'm going to meet him today actually."

"Not keeping you, am I?" winked Paige, who knew the whole story as Shannon had confided in her when she had first been given the assignment.

"It's not like that! It ISN'T!" protested Shannon, "Stop looking at me like that!"

"C'mon, Shan! Your star wrestler boyfriend turns up after all this time and you go to pieces - what am I supposed to think?"

"EX." stressed Shannon, banging the mugs of coffee down on the breakfast bar, "My EX-boyfriend. And I have NOT gone to pieces, for your information!"

"No, you're not edgy or anything." said Paige sarcastically, "Oh, don't be like that, I'm just winding you up. But you have to admit, you are a bit uptight about this."

"Well, it's awkward." she said, dropping onto one of the tall stools.

" I know you and I know it's more than that - what's wrong?" her friend asked in concern.

Shannon studied the contents of her mug intently, without speaking, before finally turning to Paige. "I know what you think ....."

"Hang on, Shannon, don't let my kidding around get to you." came the alarmed response, "I really was only joking, I know you're happy with Billy."

"But am I?" asked Shannon hesitantly.

"What are you saying? Do you still ..... you know?"

"I don't know, I really don't. I thought I was happy; Billy isn't perfect, but I thought I was happy. But now ..... Maybe you were right, even if you thought you were only joking, maybe he's NOT the one I want." blurted out Shannon.

"You really need to think about this." warned Paige anxiously, "I've known Billy a lot longer than you have and I just think you should be careful; if he even SUSPECTED you were messing him about ....."

"I'm NOT! I wouldn't do that, Paige!" exclaimed Shannon indignantly.

"Just remember, Chris will be leaving soon, then where will you be? Still here, that's where!"

"I know that and I'm not planning on doing anything. Even if Billy isn't the one I want, I never said Chris was; I'm just going to go and do the interview and then it'll be over." said Shannon in resignation.

"You seem disappointed."

"Well, I'm not!" she snapped, instantly regretting it, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't take this out on you. I know you're only trying to help. Look, it's going to be okay after today. Billy has nothing to worry about and he doesn't even know about Chris anyway."

"Uh, Shannon?" said Paige, playing nervously with a lock of her dark curly hair, suddenly looking guilty, "He does know."

"What!" she shrieked, "How the hell does HE know?"

"I sort of ..... told him ....."

"WHY? Why would you do that?" demanded Shannon angrily.

"I'm so sorry, I thought he knew and I don't know how it came up ...... I'm so sorry. Please, don't be mad at me." pleaded Paige.

"I don't believe this!" fumed Shannon, pacing up and down in a panic.

"But it'll be okay. There's nothing going on, so he'll have no reason to be upset. There's nothing to worry about, right?"

"Wrong! He'll wonder why I didn't tell him if there's nothing going on; not that there is, but HE won't see it like that ......"

She broke off to answer her ringing cell phone. "Billy! Hi!" she said, forcing herself to keep her tone light while shooting a stricken glare at Paige. "Yes, I'm going to do the interview today ..... What do you mean - you don't want me to? ..... But ..... But it's WORK, I can't get out of it ..... Don't be stupid! ..... No, I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry, I wasn't calling YOU stupid. I just meant ..... Billy, don't be like that! Yes, I'm still going to do it ..... You don't have to shout! ..... FINE! Think what you want!" She ended the call and, leaning her elbows on the top of the breakfast bar, buried her face in her hands.

"Shannon?" asked Paige softly, "God, this is all my fault!"

"No, it isn't." said Shannon in a teary voice, "Him knowing shouldn't matter, 'cause there's nothing going on! He doesn't trust me and right now, I don't even think I can trust myself!"

"It'll work out," Paige tried to reassure her, putting an arm around her shoulders, "These things always do. You know nothing's going on and that's all that counts."

"But what about Billy?"

"Billy will have to learn he isn't always right."

"Well, he'll see that when I get this damn interview over and done with." said Shannon grimly.

"You're still going?"

"Yeah, I'm not going to let him stop me from doing my job. I thought you said ....."

"I know what I said, but I meant you should try to convince Billy he's wrong. Somehow, I don't think this meeting will do anything for your case." said Paige.

Shannon narrowed her eyes, "This is my JOB, I'm not doing anything WRONG. I need to do this."

"For God's sake, Shannon, why? Why do you NEED to do this?" exploded Paige impatiently.

"To prove I can." she answered fervently, "This isn't about Billy, or even Chris, this is about ME. This job is the first one I've had that has meant anything to me, this is something I love doing, and I got it because of my dad. I want to know I deserve it, but if I can't even get a simple interview without this kind of trauma, what does that say about me?"

"It doesn't say anything. You said yourself that it's awkward. Look, a lot of old feelings have been stirred up, this won't happen with every interview. At least, not unless you've got a lot more famous ex-boyfriends you've neglected to mention!" said Paige with a small grin.

"I'm a reporter and feelings aren't supposed to get in the way of that." said Shannon grimly, ignoring Paige's joke.

"I thought you didn't HAVE feelings for him." pointed out Paige.

"And can you at least keep your arguments consistent? You just said it was understandable that old feelings would be stirred up!"

"I meant that you would remember them! Shannon, I really think you're asking for trouble if you go ....."

"Objection noted and duly ignored. I'm going; I have to get my interview and if seeing Chris sorts out the confusion in my head, that's even better. Maybe if I talk to him properly, I can finally put this behind me." stated Shannon stubbornly.

"I think deep down you know it won't be that easy. Just don't say I didn't warn you, you're playing with fire here."

"Spare me the melodrama, Paige, I can do without. Now, if you've finished your coffee, I've gotta get going. I've got some people to see about other articles before I meet Chris."

"What time are you meeting him?" asked Paige, making her way to the door.

"I don't actually know, we didn't get the chance to agree a time. I'm just gonna take a walk around the park 'til he shows up. It'll give me a chance to clear my head."

"Well, I hope you know what you're doing - good luck!"

"Thanks. And Paige? I'm sorry about being such a bitch about this, I promise I'll sort it out." apologised Shannon.

"I hope you do, but don't worry about it." smiled Paige, pulling her into a quick hug, "Listen, I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay, bye." said Shannon as she closed the door after her, leaning back against the wall with a sigh.

*****