A/N: rightsince I took SO long last chapter, I'm writing this one RIGHT awayeven though I neeeed to write my other two ficsesspecially since one of them is for a contest, and I have a deadlinebut o wellI'm getting ITN insperationso, I'd better thank my muses and get writing! Btw, this is a semi-fluff filled chapterit has some actual plotbut ya
Disclaimer: umI ownand I don't ownother stuffWHAT AN INFORMATIVE DISCLAIMER!
Chapter Seven:
Trust and Companionship
James' hand tightened around his wand. "Leave now, and I won't have to send you to Azkaban." He said, his teeth clenched, trying to keep the fear out of his voice. James Potter wasn't afraid of many things. He had fought some of the most powerful death eaters, won England the only world cup they had won in over 200 years, become an illegal animagi in his 5th year, and stayed at the top of his class, socially and educationally, throughout Hogwarts. None of that was easy, and he had worked very hard to retain his image. Nothing scared James Potter. Except for the past.
Matthew had an expression James could not identify on his face. It was a new one; one which he had never seen on his brother before. "James." Matthew said, it was not a question, nor a salutation; simply a statement. Suddenly, James realized it. But, it couldn't be. And, yet, it was. The expression James saw on his brother's face was an expression of innocence. James felt his grip on his wand loosening, in spite of himself.
James felt his hands shaking. "What do you want?"
"So, a wedding? That's great, Lil." Anna said flatly, as she scribbled some words onto a parchment.
"Unenthusiastic today, are we?"
Anna sighed. "Sorry, Lil. It's justclasses start in just a few weeks and I need to get my lessons ready. I don't want astronomy to be as boring as it was back when we were here. Remember?"
Lily smiled sympathetically. "I remember. Why ever did you want to teach that class, anyway? I remember you used to always get great marks in it, but most people used to find it such a bore."
"Oh, but I love astronomy. It's just that Professor Kindle couldn't teach for the life of her, poor dear. But, I've always loved the stars. When I was little, I used to go outside onto my balcony at night and lie out there in a sleeping bag and try to count and name all the stars. When I was eight, my mum enchanted stars onto my ceiling, changing every night depending on what stars we saw that night. I loved it. By that time, I had memorized almost all the stars' names. That's why I got good marks. The only thing is, Professor Kindle never actually taught us the real magic in the stars until 7th year, after we had spent 6 entire years memorizing them. By then, everyone hated Astronomy. With my classes, though, it's different." Anna said, her voice full of passion. It was obvious her love for the subject.
Lily smiled at her friend. "So, tell me about the kids at Hogwarts"
"James." Matthew said again. "Don't be afraid." He finally said after a long pause. "I've changed my ways. I've long since abandoned the dark lord."
James bit his lip, "How do I know I can trust you?"
Matthew frowned. "You don't, but I'm your brother, James. Just remember that the same blood runs through our veins. I'm telling you that I've left the dark lord. Please try to trust me, James. I know I haven't earned it, but I truly have started over. There is no evil left in me. I've already been to see Dumbledore. He has given me another chance."
James raised his eyebrows in thought. "Look, Matthew. I think we both know why I don't trust you. I need to think this over. Come to see me tommorow." James said, desperately trying to maintain his cool. At that, Matthew silently walked out the door.
The girls were deep into discussion when a knock came on Anna's door. It was a certain familiar black-haired man. "Hey, do you know where-Lily? Look, could I talk to you?"
"Sure, talk away." Lily said, making no move to leave the room.
"In private?" James glanced toward Anna.
Lily groaned. "And we all know what happened last time someone asked to talk to me in private. Look, Potter, no offense, but you know all too well that I don't want to talk to you."
"Lily, please, if I had any other option I'd talk to anyone else. But-Look, I just need to talk to you. It's important." James' voice had some sign of urgency, so Lily simply nodded, and walked out of Anna's room with James.
"So, what is it, Potter?" Lily asked.
James fiddled with his hands. "Honestly, I don't know why I'm telling you of all people this, butI needed to tell someone. Anyway, well, did I ever mention to you that I had a brother?"
"Ermno. I thought you lived alone with your grandmother during Hogwarts."
"I did." James frowned. "My brother left home whenwhen my parents left. Ok, well, I guess I had better tell you about my parents. Did I ever tell you why I lived with my gram?"
"No. I didn't really think it was something you were comfortable talking about."
"It isn't. But-well" James paused. "My parents were death eaters." He gulped.
"Were?" Lily asked nervously.
"I-II turned them in. I was nine. I told my gram when I found out what they were. I didn't understand. Gram told the ministry, of course. They were sent to Azkaban and died separately within the next ten years. It tore my family apart. My baby sister, Emily, was sent to an orphanage. She'd be 15 right now. My seventeen-year-old brother, Matthew, was also a death eater. He got away. He's been in hiding- until today." James frowned and Lily looked truly sympathetic.
"Oh, James. I'm so sorry." Lily suddenly realized what James had said. "What do you mean until now?" Lily asked, not quite wanting to hear the answer.
James explained his brother's appearance in his room. "I probably should've stunned him. I was stupid. How could I possibly think that he was innocent? An innocent person doesn't hide for twelve years!"
Lily bit her lip, and fought the mad urge to hug him. He looked completely helpless. "Maybe he is telling the truth. He could be. I mean, he said he talked to Dumbledore, right? If Dumbledore trusts him, then he's trustable."
James shook his head. "Dumbledore's all too trusting. Remember our 3rd year Arithmancy teacher? The death eater? Plus, Dumbledore doesn't know Matthew like I do."
Lily shook her head. "I don't know, James. It's so complicated. I guess it all comes down to what type of person you are. If you're the type that thinks that you should always trust your instincts, then you most certainly shouldn't trust Matthew, should you? But, if you're the type that believes in giving people the benefit of the doubt then, by all means, go ahead and trust him until he gives you good reason not to."
"What type of person are you?" James asked.
"Why are you asking me? I'm an ex-reporter. Reporters don't take sides, they report."
"Fine, then, what side is the part of Lily that isn't a reporter on?"
"Is there a part of me that isn't a reporter? Well, then, I guess that part of me would have to take the benefit of the doubt. But, that's me, James. What are you?" Lily looked straight into his eyes for a few seconds, as if staring straight through to his soul. James suddenly looked away, into the burning fireplace.
"You know, you're not making this any easier for me." James said softly, turning toward Lily.
"What do you mean? I didn't help you with your brother?" Lily frowned, scorning herself. "I'm sorry."
"No. That's not it. Lily, I really do love you, you know." James said, and ran off into his room before Lily could say anything.
Lily went back into Anna's room, only to see that Anna had fallen asleep on her lesson plans. She put her friend's notebook away and left for her room. She lie flat on her bed and cried herself to sleep, not even knowing quite why.
"Did it work, Potter?" The tall man asked.
"Not yet, master." Matthew Potter replied.
"What do you mean not yet? Need I remind you that we do not have very much time? You need to gain that stupid boy's trust soon, or else I'll have to get a more adequate death eater to do the job."
"No, no, master, that won't be necessary. I'll have him eating out of my hand by tomorrow evening, I promise."
Lily sneaked into Honeydukes through the secret passage. "Guess who!" She shouted as she ran in.
"Lily!" Liz grinned. "Here to keep me company? Good. It's so boring here. We get barely any customers during the summer, what with all the students on holidays. But, aren't you busy getting ready for the students' arrival? They'll be here in, what, two weeks?"
"Yup. But, I'm all ready. My lesson plans are done, so I figured I'd come here to talk to you. Everyone else in the castle is busy, and it's ever so lonely."
"Well, I'm glad you came. We have a few years of catching up to do!"
"Well, you pretty much know how I spent my time after Hogwarts, don't you?"
"Yep. You know, I read every single one of your articles?" Liz grinned guiltily.
"Really? Oh, now I feel bad. Through all that, I had absolutely no idea where you were."
"I wasn't famous or anything like you and James, so don't feel guilty. I probably wouldn't know what you had done if I didn't see your article one day in the Prophet. Anyway, I work for the ministry; Department of Magical Creatures. I'm here for a few weeks during my uncle's vacation. He can't seem to find anyone else to take care of the shop while he's away."
"Wow, that's great, Bethie! You always loved animals"
"Yep! It's a great job. I love it. It does get sort of lonely, though."
"What, so no new boyfriends?" Lily joked, knowing Liz there had been at least 10.
"Of course! You know very well that I haven't been without a boyfriend for over two weeks since 4th year." Liz giggled. "But, it really is lonely. I've missed having friends around. You and Nicola" Liz paused, looking like she was almost about to cry. "Did you hear?" She whispered.
Lily hugged her and did begin to sob. "Yes." She replied. "Oh, Bethie, I wanted to go see you, I really did. ButI couldn't. I'm so sorry. I miss her so much."
Liz shuddered. "I hate Voldemort. I couldn't believe it when I found out. I just read her name in the paper. I refused to believe that it was her at first. But, it was." She sobbed. "If only she hadn't gone to France. If the three of us hadn't fought, we might all still be living together in an apartment somewhere."
"It wasn't our fault. Well, it wasn't your fault. It was mine. If I hadn't gotten so upset about you dating Potter, the fight would've never happened. It's my fault she's dead. It's my fault." Lily choked.
Liz just sat there, sobbing lightly. "It wasn't your fault." She whispered at last.
James Potter sulked in his room. Unlike the rest of the Hogwarts staff, he wasn't busy organizing lesson plans. Professor Ferneligus had provided adequate lesson plans for him. James wished he hadn't. Lesson plans might take his mind off everything. "Ironic," James muttered to himself, "I came here to get away from my problems."
"Did you, then?" Came a voice, from behind him.
"Matthew." James said, frowning. Memories poured through his soul. He shuddered.
"Please, James. I know I've done so much to hurt you. But, I wish you could try to trust me. I've changed. I was wrong."
James bit his lip. "I don't know if I could; trust you, I mean."
Matthew stopped himself from shouting in frustration. The stupid boy wasn't making it easy. A voice in the back of Matthew's head echoed throughout his body. It's you're fault, you know. You were the one who jaded him.
Matthew shrugged it off. What was his fault? Nothing. James had made the wrong decision. He could be powerful. Instead he would die. But, how could he gain James' trust? How could he get through to his brother? Then, it hit him. Silly he hadn't thought of it before. The thing that would get through to James was the thing that hurt him the most; the memories. "James. Remember when-" Matthew stopped himself from shuddering. "Remember when I taught you to fly?"
James himself did shudder. It was true. His brother had been the one who'd taught him how to fly at the age of five. He had pushed him to practice quidditch every day, even at such a young age. If it weren't for Matthew I wouldn't be the James Potter. I would only be James; that kid who went to Hogwarts. James wasn't sure whether this was a good thing or a bad thing. If he weren't the James Potter, life would probably be so much easier; he wouldn't have to live in the spotlight. In fact, maybe he would even have Lily-
James pushed the thoughts out of his head and looked up at his older brother. He couldn't help feeling a small bit of-what was it? Not admiration. Possibly respect? No, not respect either. He wasn't sure. Gratitude was part of it, but something else as well. Love? No, impossible. "Yes, I remember." James smiled slightly.
"You were so happy when father bought you that Nimbus 500." Matthew gave a slight chuckle. "The next day you fell off it and broke half your bones."
James smiled. "I refused to fly for the next week."
"Of course, you were on that broom the next day." Matthew smiled as well; a look of brotherly companionship passed through them. "I hear all that flying did pay off in the end, though."
"I suppose." James said, honestly. "Money, fame; it all gets very boring."
"Boring? What, you don't have friends? Girlfriends? From what I hear, you have every witch in Britain at your heals."
"Sure, every brainless, blond, idiotic witch in Britain; none of them mean anything to me, or ever will."
"Have your sights set on one, then?" Matthew grinned, a typical teasing, brotherly grin.
"Well," James' face turned slightly pink, and he looked quite boyish for a man in his early twenties. "Yes."
"Spit it out then," Matthew teased. "What's her name?"
James considered this. He could say Liz, and he wouldn't be completely lying. Still, he decided complete honesty would probably be best for this situation. "Lily Evans." He mumbled.
Matthew stopped himself from laughing in delight. It was too perfect. Imagine how much pain he could put James through by simply killing her. He could easily pull it off to make it seem like she had killed herself. "Lily Evans. The reporter?" He asked, ready to fix the information into his head.
"Ex-reporter. She works here now."
"Tell me about her." Matthew said.
James got a slightly dazed look on his face. "She's perfect. Smart, funny, kindonly problem is, she hates me."
"She'll come through in the end." Matthew said, smiling. "I have to go now. May I come back soon?"
James considered it. "Yes. Yes, you may." James said, feeling light-hearted, as though some gap had suddenly been filled in his life.
Lily walked into the faculty lounge a few hours later. James was sitting in there, scribbling notes onto his lesson plans. He turned toward her. "Hey." He said, softly. He knew it was a very delicate and risky thing, trying to talk to Lily. If she were in a good mood, she would probably respond calmly. If she were in a bad mood, on the other hand, she would bite his head off.
Luckily for James, Lily was in a good mood. "Hey, Potter." She said smiling, taking a seat on the edge of James' lounge chair, reading his lesson plans over his shoulder. "How are you?" No, scratch that, Lily was in an extremely good mood.
"Ok, I guess." James said, flipping his notebook, in which he kept his lesson plans, shut.
"Did-did he come?" Lily asked gently.
"Yeah. It wasn't so bad, though. I think maybe he isn't lying." James said.
"Oh, well, that's good, isn't it?" Lily said, comfortingly.
"I suppose so. I dunno. I feel liketorn apart. Part of me wants to forget the past ten years. Part of me wants to believe that my brother has always been good and has always been by my side. Part of me wants to make believe nothing ever happened." James gave an involuntary shudder. "The other part wishes he were dead."
Lily touched his shoulder lightly. "It'll be ok."
"I hope so." James sighed. "He's my brother and I don't trust him. In fact, I hate him. I feel like scum."
"I know what you mean." Lily shook her head, brushing off her own thoughts of her sister.
"It's strange, though. When we talk, it feels as if he really is my brother. We smiled, and joked, and talked about the past-before anything had happened. It really did feel like I had a brother."
Lily's face wore a very sympathetic expression and both were silent for several minutes. "Mm, Potter? I'm going to bed now, ok? G'Night."
"Night, Lily." James murmured inaudibly, as Lily walked into her room.
A/N: I'm gonna stop this chapter here, ok? It's pretty short, but o welland it's not a cliffy! Well, not reallysome of you may be worried for Lily's life, 'cause for all you know, Matthew could be inside her room ready to kill heractually, for all I know, he may be! I'll consider itthis chapter was pretty boring and fluffyo wellthis took a long to write tooI'm so sorryI just don't have TIME for writingo wellit's up now, so yay!I'm dissapointed in you reviewers, thoughwas the last chapter really that bad? I got *9* reviews for that chapterI got 20 for the chapter before thatthere's something seriously wrong with that pictureo wellyou reviewers'll just have to do better this time, won't you? Here're the thank-yous for those of you who ARE nice and DID take the ten seconds to review
Lady Wildcat: ooogoody! Now I don't have to be attacked by the donkey! Yay! And, awwthat's icky about your laptopI'll have to make sure never to have anyone step on my laptopwell, thanks! I'm glad you like it and I'm very glad I'm on your faves! That makes me feel so specialful! Yay!
Hyper-Piper: I'm glad someone thought the wait was worth it*pouts* half my reviewers didn't, thoughoh wellI'm glad you like it! And is James thinking about Liz? We'll seeelet me tell you this much, I didn't put Liz in for no reasonthat's for sureand will he fall for Matthew's trickwell, you can probably tell he's slowly falling for it throughout this chapterbut, don't worry! Jamesie's not stupid! Well, thanks!
Ocean Spirit: I'm really glad you like it! And thanks!
Mooncancer (all three of your reviewslol): why, thank you! I'm glad you think it's great enough to say that three times! I'm very glad you like it!
Bella Black: yepit *is* complicatedthat's for sureand I'm glad you find it addictingthat was my goalthanks!
Kribee (review for chapter 5): loldon't worryI wouldn't alter the plot if you'd have guessed it! I like seeing whether my reviewers know the characters wellthat's my goal in writing this storyto get the readers to know the characters as well as I doanyway, yepJames does need competition, doesn't he? That's why I put Snapey inof course, he's gonna need some better competition, seeing as Lily has no interest in Snapeshe's just so damn uncooperative! Honestly, if it had been up to me, Lily would've fallen for Snapebut nooshe just has to do things her own wayanywayz, thanks!
Mystikal Demoness, Lady Soyoko: thanks! And thanks for your suggestionmaybe I will elaborate on thatit does seem like James has all the deep, dark secretswell, thanks a bunch!
A/N: Well, I'm hoping to get more reviews for this chapterto come, we'll be having classes starting! HeheI can't wait to write that! It's gonna be so much fun! Also, we'll have more with Matthewand a lot more with Lizthe wedding's gonna happen in just a few chaptersI fink we'll probably have a bit with Bella next chapter toowell, PLEASE REVIEW!