A/N: Yup, after a very long hiatus, it's finally back! ~gasps of shock all round~ And this time, I think I may actually be getting my motivation back for this fic! Here's hoping that's true and thanks for reading! ^_^

28.

Trying to find a comfortable position, Shannon turned gingerly from her back onto her front and tucked one arm under her pillow as she closed her eyes again. However, she did not go back to sleep straight away; instead she couldn't help thinking about how glad she was that Chris had returned. While it could certainly be argued that he was the catalyst which had pushed Billy too far, she chose to see the situation as a ticking bomb just waiting to explode. As far as she was concerned, she was lucky that Chris was around just when she needed him the most. They had been so close when they were younger, even before they had started dating, and she had missed him so much - she would be glad to at least recapture that friendship.

In spite of their long separation, he had been fantastic - he had really been there for her and she would not forget that. Earlier that morning, he had taken her to the hotel and tried to get her a room so that she could have a break from the bad memories evoked by her apartment. Having been told that all the rooms were taken, he had looked defeated for only a second before making a tentative suggestion - that she stay with him.

"Chris, I couldn't - it's too much to ask ….." she had protested. Yet at the back of her mind was the realisation that she would love to accept his generous offer - she would feel safe and it would be just like old times.

"Don't be silly." he had insisted, "You're exhausted; you need to get some rest and there's plenty of room."

And so, she had ended up following him to his hotel suite and crashing out on the bed for some much needed sleep, whilst he settled down in front of the television. He had let her sleep until lunch time, but then woke her up to get something to eat from room service and advise that she try to stay awake for the rest of the day in case she upset her body-clock and ended up facing another sleepless night. Heeding his words of wisdom, she had happily spent the day catching up on the lighter moments of their lives since the last time they had seen each other. Although they did not admit it to each other, they both found themselves feeling more and more wistful about the time they had lost.

By evening, Chris was surprised how quickly the day had passed and hoped that Shannon had not been bored by being cooped up in the hotel all day. He had voiced this concern only for Shannon to laugh wryly and protest.

"Are you kidding?" she had exclaimed, "It's been great just sitting here talking. It's been a long time since I did that with anyone except Paige - unless I've been interviewing them!"

"Not even with ….. him?" he had asked gently; although he was beginning to get a fairly good idea of what her relationship with Billy had been like.

"ESPECIALLY not with him."

"So, has there been anyone else? Anyone serious?" he had asked, trying to sound nonchalant and not too curious.

"There haven't been many - guess I just haven't found the right person." she had said in a low voice, studying her hands. "But, hey, what about you? You've seen my disastrous love-life first hand - it's about time you spilled the beans on yours!"

"Not much to tell - there's been a few people, but ….. really only one who was serious." he had confessed, sparking her interest. "Yeah, we even got married ….."

A mix of emotions had risen up in her, but they were all swept aside by sheer increduality as she had exclaimed, "And you're only telling me this now! What happened?"

"We … it … it just didn't work out." he had told her awkwardly, "I just don't think it was … meant to be."

"Oh my God, Chris, I'm so sorry ….." she had apologised quietly, "It must have been tough. I didn't mean to drag up any … bad memories or anything …"

"Hey, it's okay; don't worry about it - it's in the past. We've been divorced for quite a few years now. And it was probably for the best anyway - if we'd stayed together, we'd just have ended up making each other miserable."

"I guess. But still ….." she had trailed off sympathetically; merely squeezing his hand, unsure of what to say.

He had held onto her hand just a little longer than he meant to, before letting go self-consciously and changing the subject by suggesting ordering pizza and a movie from room-service - an offer which she eagerly accepted.

*****

After they had eaten and watched the movie, Chris noticed Shannon trying to stifle her yawns and suggested that she have an early night.

"You wouldn't think I could be tired after sleeping most of the day, but I guess I am." she had admitted, "But I don't mind staying up a little longer if you want to watch TV or something ….."

Frowning in confusion, it had taken Chris a moment to understand what she was getting at but he had then just smiled. "Oh, you don't have to sleep on the couch! You can take the bed again - I don't mind."

She had shook her head. "But that's not fair; it is your room after all."

"Exactly. And you're the guest. Besides, it really wouldn't do your ribs any favours to be sleeping on the couch."

Considering the situation, she had made a suggestion, looking a little embarrassed.

"Instead of arguing ….. since we're both adults, why don't we just ….. share the bed? It is a double and it makes sense ….. I don't mind if you don't?"

Looking at her unsurely, he had thought about it for a moment before shrugging. "I don't mind - as long as you're sure."

Then it had been Shannon's turn to shrug. "We are friends after all and to be honest, I'd feel better knowing you were there."

Remembering how scared she had been by her ordeal and just glad she felt she could trust him, Chris had nodded in understanding.

*****

Now as she lay beside him in the darkness, lost in memories of the past, she longed to tell him how just much it meant to her that, after everything, he had still supported her through this and yet something held her back. She wanted to tell him the truth - that she had missed him more than she had ever thought possible. Yet, in spite of everything he was doing for her, it seemed too late. He had obviously coped a lot better than she had.

"He got married, for Christ's sake!" she told herself silently. "What about me? What have I got to show for the years we've been apart? He's got a great career which he loves, traveling all over the world - I've got a job that's going nowhere in the same town I've lived in all my life! He's moved on - I've stuck in a rut. Ending up with a violent boyfriend was not exactly how I always dreamed my life would go. If it wasn't for Chris turning up, I'd probably still be with him - it's seeing him again that made me remember what I really wanted out of life. But soon he's gonna leave all over again ….. What then?"

Little did she know that Chris was not really asleep, but was in fact also deep in thought as he lay with his back to her.

"Friends ….. that's all I am to her now - a friend. How can I settle for that? I'd always thought that if we did meet again, she'd be married, probably with a kid or two - the perfect little family. Now that I know that's not the case, how can I leave her? But I burned that bridge - I'm lucky to even have her friendship considering I'm mostly to blame for this mess. If I hadn't come back, she would still be happy with ….. with him. But would I really want to know she was stuck with a shit like that? I want her to know how I ….. but I can't screw up her life any more. I have to just let her go. That's what she'd want. How could I ever have imagined staying with Isabelle when I knew what I had with Shannon? She would only ever have been second best. I wish ….. but what's the point in wishing? It's not like they come true - I should know." he thought wistfully.

"He's the only one I've ever really loved." thought Shannon; her eyes widening as that realization struck her, seemingly out of the blue. "Oh my God, he really is!"

"Dammit, I still love her - I always have!" thought Chris simultaneously, closing his eyes in despair as that fully dawned on him and sank in. "After all this time, I still love her ….."

*****

TBC…..