"Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!" Aeris kicked Cloud's chair.
"But I want to listen to Jigglypuff's song," Cloud moaned. Aeris kicked harder. Cloud became conscious. "Huh? I don't remember being tied to a chair when I was awake... But then again, this has happened before with-" Cloud realized the ticking clock. "Gee... That looks like a bomb."
"Yes!! We have to get out of here!" Aeris screamed. Cloud pulled against his binds only to see they would not budge. The clock continued to tick.
"Watch! Can you hear me?" Cloud shouted.
"Come on!" Cait Sith was playing Ergheiz with his own character. "It's time to meet your maker Yo-yo!" The police woman cracked her Yo-yo over Cait Sith's head. Cait Sith went unconscious. "Oh! That really-"
"Watch!!" his communicator called.
Cait Sith fell off his chair.
"Watch! Turn on!" Cloud shouted.
"Oh? Yes! Yes! I read you 007!" Cait Sith regained his composure.
"I need you to cut some binds quick!" Cloud shouted.
"Ooh! That means I get to use the watch laser!" Cait Sith clapped his hands. He went to his computer.
"Starting up Watch Laser 4.0!" Cait Sith grinned. He double clicked the icon. The computer started to think.
The clock was at 20 seconds.
"Ooh... This is bad..." Cloud groaned. "Start up you stupid program!"
"Tell him to turn off all the background start centers!" Aeris shouted.
"Start Centers? OK... Control Alt Delete time!" Cait Sith cycled through his start centers.
"Hurry! Hurry!" Cloud bit his lip as the clock reached 15 seconds.
"Ah! It's started!" Cait Sith clapped his hands. He looked at the screen and located one of Cloud's binds. "Now, I'll just fire here!"
"Ouch!!" Cloud shouted as the laser missed.
"Oops. Let me try that again!" Cait Sith fired again.
"Oww! It hurts damn it!" Cloud felt another burning sensation.
"Third times a charm," Cait Sith fired again.
"Ah! When I get my hands on you, you stupid...!" Cloud winced.
"Hey! Only 5 seconds left!" Aeris screamed.
"Oh! I have it set to Cloud Seeking... Here!" Cait Sith adjusted it and fired. The bind loosened.
"And if you lose... You can always press the 'Reset' button," Cloud hit the reset button on the helicopter. Aeris and Cloud ejected from the helicopter. A second later, it exploded. Burning debris flew everywhere.
Cloud coughed as he freed himself from the remaining confines.
"Piece of cake! Besides... The helicopter is set to explode after you eject in all the movies," Cloud looked over to Aeris.
"So Mr. Strife... I see you've been causing quite a bit of trouble tonight," Mayor Domino stood before Cloud. "Perhaps you should come with us." Cloud looked as Shin-Ra soldiers swarmed around Aeris and himself.
"My mother never told me to go with strangers... Wait a minute... My mother never said anything of that sort!" Cloud clutched his head. "Did I even have a mother? Oh! This is so confusing!" Aeris tapped Cloud on the shoulder.
"We established that you were an experiment gone wrong in the actual game Cloud," Aeris was getting nervous as the soldiers advanced on them.
"Oh! That's right! I keep forgetting about that! Where was I...? It's time to put Mr. Sugar out of commission." Cloud pulled out his sword. Domino held a gun up to Aeris' head.
"Do anything of the sort and I will blow this girl's head off," the mayor threatened.
"He'll do it! He's crazy!" the guy, that had said Vincent's name was funny, added. Mayor Domino turned and fired at him. The soldier crumpled to the floor. Cloud resheathed his sword.
"You certainly sucked the fun out of the experience!" Cloud moaned.
"Will you be coming with us now?" Domino asked again. Cloud shrugged.
"Will there be refreshments?" Cloud asked. Domino turned to one of his soldiers and asked. The soldier whispered back.
"Yes. We will have refreshments!" the mayor growled. Cloud grinned.
"OK. I'll come! As long as I don't need to anymore of your stupid file searching junk!" Cloud replied. The mayor frowned.
"Damn it... I really loved doing that," the mayor muttered.
"So, Mr. Strife... Will you be telling us what we want to know?" Domino asked.
"No," Cloud said plainly. Domino frowned.
"Oh... Alright. I really did want to know, but if you won't say..." Domino started to walk out. "Wait a minute!!" Domino ran back to Cloud. "You're my prisoner so you'll be telling me everything I want to know!"
"OK... Give me a piece of paper and I'll write it down," Cloud replied simply. Domino and the soldier began to squander the room for a piece of paper.
"Hey! I can't find-" the soldier growled.
"How about a napkin! I have a Mako Donalds napkin!" Domino waved it.
"OK Sugar man," Cloud replied.
"Do you mind not calling me that!" Domino growled. Cloud pulled out a pen and began to write on the napkin. After a few seconds, he handed it to Domino.
"Here's all the information you'll need," Cloud added.
"The world is Square? What the hell!?" Domino threw the napkin onto the table. (Final Fantasy 6) "Now you-!" Just then, Heiddeger walked into the room.
"That will be enough Domino," Heiddeger grinned.
"General Heiddeger... What are you doing here?" Domino asked.
"I have business with this girl," Heiddeger replied. Cloud scowled.
"Aeris! I could have loaned you money!" Cloud shook his head in displeasure.
"Not that kind of business!!" Heiddeger growled. "You have programming skills that are necessary for my agenda."
"Heiddeger! This isn't your investigation. Stay out of this!" Domino stood up to him. Heiddeger stared at him for a second and then started beating on him.
"Ah! You- Ow! Don't make me use my Domino's Heat Wave attack! Ouch!" Domino was thrown to the floor.
"This would be a good time to go," Cloud whispered to Aeris. They ran out of the room.
"They're getting away- Oww!!" Domino groaned. Heiddeger and Domino stopped fighting and ran to find a squad of troops they didn't mind having killed. After they left, Bannon walked in and looked at the table.
"Hey! Who left this piece of paper here!?" Bannon demanded. (Final Fantasy 6)
"This way looks-" Cloud and Aeris skidded to a halt as Shin-Ra soldiers came marching down the hallway.
"Bad," Aeris finished the sentence.
"Hey! It's those guys from the 007 series! Can I have your autograph!!" a soldier shouts. Cloud and Aeris turn down a hallway and run.
"They must not have seen us," a soldier replied. "Let's fire at them to get their attention." Bullets rang out through the hallway. Cloud and Aeris dashed to a ladder and quickly climbed it. Aeris cried out and slipped.
"Aeris!" Cloud screamed. "Nooooooooooooooooooooo!" Everything goes into slow motion.
"Cloooooooooooouuuuuuuuud!" Aeris cries out. Aeris' fall goes on for far longer than it should. Full speed.
"Ahhhhhh!" Aeris screams just as Cloud catches her. "Oh! Cloud! How did you-"
"No time for that," Cloud replied. "We have to hurry."
"Let's get 'em!" a soldier cries out. Another soldier halts them.
"Hold on guys. I wanna get a shot," the soldier holds out a camera while the soldiers pose. Cloud and Aeris run through the rafters and into another part of the warehouse. Cloud pulls out his FF7 just as two guards jump from above.
"Not a chance you-" the soldier loses his balance and falls off the rafter. The other soldier watches him fall into the library below. Cloud and Aeris look to the other soldier.
"Eh. It couldn't be as painful as it looks," the other soldier cried out and jumped down, crashing into a table.
"I bet that did," Cloud laughed. Cloud turned to see Domino and a group of soldiers pursuing them.
"You can't escape!" Domino shouted. Cloud fired at Domino. Even though he missed, Domino fell backwards, causing a 'Domino' effect and crashing into the rest of the soldiers. They all fell to the ground below. Suddenly, shots rang out from below and Cloud and Aeris hurried to an open window. Just before they reached it, Heiddeger dashed into the room with a group of soldiers. A soldier fired and hit a support on the rafters. Aeris lost her balance and fell to the floor. Heiddeger grabbed her and looked to Cloud.
"Damn," Cloud muttered. "I hate when the villain gets the girl..." Cloud turned to the window. "Now... How can I get through this window... Ooooh! I know... We'll just use a-"
FMV: Cloud crashes through the window with his motorcycle. Where he got a motorcycle and how many licks it will take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop... The world may never know...
"Hmm..." Cloud stood in the center of a huge military storage complex. "What can I use in here that will help to get Aeris..." Cloud looked around. "There's a tank... Nah... Too unoriginal... Magitek Armor... Too Final Fantasy 6... A Chocobo...
"Wooheehoo!!" the chocobo chirped.
"Nah... Also been done..." Cloud nodded. The chocobo spit at him and left, insulted.
"No airships... No hovercraft from FF4... No Epoch from Chrono Trigger... Maybe there's a Flammie Drum from Secret of Mana... Hey!" Cloud stood before something that looked fun. "It looks like we have a fated relationship!" The huge weapon opened and Cloud hopped into it. He kicked a young Fei out of it and started the engine. The young Fei started crying as he sat in the middle of the warehouse. Cloud prepared his new toy for a test drive. (Xenogears)
"Let go of me!!" Aeris screamed.
"You're coming with me!" Heiddeger shouted. They hopped into a car and sped towards the train station.
"You'll never get away with this!" Aeris yelled.
"Where's your hero now!?" Heiddeger laughed his annoying laugh. Just then, Weltall burst out into the road.
"I'm back!!" Cloud shouted.
"Reverse... Reverse!!" Heiddeger shouted to the driver. The car sped backwards as the Gear headed for the car.
"Nothing can keep me away from you!" Cloud shouted. Just then, a Kislev gear, Godzilla and King Kong stepped in front of him.
"Hey! This is a Final Fantasy fanfic! Stop it with all these excess guys!" Cloud complained. Godzilla screeched, the original screech not the crappy new one, and King Kong reached into a building and pulled out Celes. (Oh... Fine) Godzilla and King Kong disappeared. Celes screamed as she plummeted to the ground. (She'll be out for a year's time... Well, if I can't have them, you'll face some Square enemies!!)
Just then, the Giant of Bab-il, Diamond WEAPON, and Lavos appeared. The Kislev gear smiled and aimed its gun at Cloud.
"OK! Let's go Weltall!!" Weltall stepped on the Kislev gear and engaged with Diamond WEAPON. Weltall slugged it in the face and received a Diamond Flash to the face. Weltall shoved Diamond WEAPON into a building, which ripped apart in a fray of cardboard and sparks. (Budget cuts... Sorry) The Giant of Bab-il grabbed Weltall from behind and Lavos began to rain chaos on him. (Final Fantasy IV, Chrono Trigger)
"Clooooooooouuuuuuuddddddd!!!" Aeris screamed as the car got further and further away.
"Hey!! Don't hurt 'Elly'!!" Cloud screamed. (Xenogears) Weltall suddenly glowed an eerie purple. Two wild blasts of energy tore apart the Giant and sent Lavos into the sky, where it belongs. Weltall shook violently and transformed into the 'Red Gear.' System Ed...
"There is no Cloud anymore... Only Ed..." Cloud was now a child version of himself with red hair and a black outfit. Diamond WEAPON went to engage it's new opponent. "Are you strong?" Diamond WEAPON looked confused. "Guess I'll have to find out... Kishin..." The Red Gear gathered dark energy and unleashed the devastating attack on Diamond WEAPON. The Red Gear punched through Diamond WEAPON and threw him into a nearby lake. Ed looked over to where Aeris had been. "That meddlesome girl must be dealt with..." The Red Gear began to crush through town.
"Minimize Civilian Casualties!!" Cloud/Ed's watch read.
"There is no point in doing that... In fact, we'll make more casualties..." Ed began to crush anything in his path.
"Hey! Cloud's coming! He evolved to help me when I was in trouble!! I thought he didn't want to be my hero, but I guess I was wrong!" Aeris grinned. A beam of red energy fired from the Red Gear, nearly crushing the car.
"Your boyfriend is going to kill us!!" Heiddeger screamed. Another blast crashed down on the other side of the car. The car sped down a corner street and through an alley. Heiddeger sighed. "He won't be able to follow us now."
Suddenly, there was a violent shaking coming from behind them. Heiddeger dared to look back and saw the Red Gear holding the building over its head.
"Putting a building in my path is cheating. Here, take it back!" Ed threw the building at the car.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! It's going to be Game Over!" Aeris covered her head. Just then, Vierge flies in and catches the building.
"Hurry! I can't hold this much-" Elly shouts. The car speeds away and Vierge collapses while throwing the building to the side.
"Who dares ruin my fun?" Ed declares.
"I'm here to bring Id out of this fanfic. This is a Final Fantasy 7 fanfic! Not Xenogears!!" Elly was breathing heavy. Her gear was in really bad shape after holding a building for a few seconds.
"Fool... I will destroy you..." Ed went to crush Vierge with his fists, but Elly caught him.
"Cloud! Snap out of it! Aeris is being taken away!" Elly cried.
"No... Stop it!! You're ruining my fun!" Ed attempted to break Vierge's grip. The Red Gear backed away. "Damn! He's waking up..."
"Aeris, Cloud! Remember Aeris!" Elly shouted.
"Arrrghh!" the Red Gear knelt down and transformed back into Weltall.
"What happened...? Was it Sephiroth? Was he controlling me again?" Cloud moaned.
"No... You must follow Aeris!" Elly replied.
"You got it," Cloud began to race in the direction Elly, er... I mean, Aeris went.
"He won't be able to stop us now. He's been detained," Heiddeger replied. Sephiroth grinned.
"And you got the girl as well. I must say I am impressed with your performance. Here's a cracker," Sephiroth hands Heiddeger a cracker.
"He's been doing that ever since he saw that Omnipoint commercial with the parrot," Scarlet whispered. Sephiroth stepped over to Aeris.
"Well my dear. Glad you could join us. No Cloud to protect you... So I assume you'll be coming with us," Sephiroth grinned. Aeris scowled at him. Sephiroth suddenly grabbed Aeris and kissed her. Aeris, after struggling, pulled back and slapped him.
"Stay away from me!" Aeris shouted.
"Mmm... Tastes like chicken..." Sephiroth grinned. (If you didn't see the movie, you wouldn't get the joke here. But feel free to laugh anyway. Then again, you wouldn't have gotten the jokes for the last few pages if you didn't play Xenogears... Maybe I should have playing requirements for reading these fics.) Just then, a Shin-Ra soldier ran into the room.
"Sir! There's something ahead on the train tracks!" the soldier reported.
"Strife... It's gotta be him..." Sephiroth frowned.
"I'll simply leave this here. And we'll see how well the train fairs against it," Cloud grinned. He left Weltall on the train tracks and ran into the foliage on the side paths.
'He's nuts. I'm not going to sacrifice myself for his posterior,' Weltall registered. 'I will simply put someone of less value in my place.' Weltall disappeared and Fat Chocobo appeared instead.
"Wark?" the Fat Chocobo looked around in confusion.
"We're going to hit that chocobo!" Aeris screamed. "Do something!" Aeris shook Sephiroth.
"Would you stop it! Full speed!" Sephiroth barked an order.
"No!!" Aeris wailed.
"Hey look! It's a bird!" a Shin-Ra soldier shouted.
"No... It's a chocobo!" Sephiroth growled.
"No! In the sky! It's a bird!" the soldier persisted.
"No. I think it's more of a plane. Not the Tiny Bronco... Since that can't fly..." another soldier looked up.
"No! It's Superman!" another soldier shouted.
"Insolence..." Sephiroth growled. "I think the author is doing far too many cameo appearances in this fic..."
"He's going to stop the train!" Aeris grinned. Superman landed next to the Fat Chocobo and pushed him off the tracks.
"I will stop this train!" Superman shouted. Cloud, who had not been paying attention up to this point, looked up.
"Hey? What the hell are you-" Cloud watched the train screeching towards him. Superman went to hold out his hand, but got flattened.
"Hahahahaha! You're powers are useless in the Square world!" Sephiroth laughed. Cloud, now realizing that stopping the train was impossible, decided to take his entrance.
"But mine aren't!" Cloud shouted.
"But I want to listen to Jigglypuff's song," Cloud moaned. Aeris kicked harder. Cloud became conscious. "Huh? I don't remember being tied to a chair when I was awake... But then again, this has happened before with-" Cloud realized the ticking clock. "Gee... That looks like a bomb."
"Yes!! We have to get out of here!" Aeris screamed. Cloud pulled against his binds only to see they would not budge. The clock continued to tick.
"Watch! Can you hear me?" Cloud shouted.
"Come on!" Cait Sith was playing Ergheiz with his own character. "It's time to meet your maker Yo-yo!" The police woman cracked her Yo-yo over Cait Sith's head. Cait Sith went unconscious. "Oh! That really-"
"Watch!!" his communicator called.
Cait Sith fell off his chair.
"Watch! Turn on!" Cloud shouted.
"Oh? Yes! Yes! I read you 007!" Cait Sith regained his composure.
"I need you to cut some binds quick!" Cloud shouted.
"Ooh! That means I get to use the watch laser!" Cait Sith clapped his hands. He went to his computer.
"Starting up Watch Laser 4.0!" Cait Sith grinned. He double clicked the icon. The computer started to think.
The clock was at 20 seconds.
"Ooh... This is bad..." Cloud groaned. "Start up you stupid program!"
"Tell him to turn off all the background start centers!" Aeris shouted.
"Start Centers? OK... Control Alt Delete time!" Cait Sith cycled through his start centers.
"Hurry! Hurry!" Cloud bit his lip as the clock reached 15 seconds.
"Ah! It's started!" Cait Sith clapped his hands. He looked at the screen and located one of Cloud's binds. "Now, I'll just fire here!"
"Ouch!!" Cloud shouted as the laser missed.
"Oops. Let me try that again!" Cait Sith fired again.
"Oww! It hurts damn it!" Cloud felt another burning sensation.
"Third times a charm," Cait Sith fired again.
"Ah! When I get my hands on you, you stupid...!" Cloud winced.
"Hey! Only 5 seconds left!" Aeris screamed.
"Oh! I have it set to Cloud Seeking... Here!" Cait Sith adjusted it and fired. The bind loosened.
"And if you lose... You can always press the 'Reset' button," Cloud hit the reset button on the helicopter. Aeris and Cloud ejected from the helicopter. A second later, it exploded. Burning debris flew everywhere.
Cloud coughed as he freed himself from the remaining confines.
"Piece of cake! Besides... The helicopter is set to explode after you eject in all the movies," Cloud looked over to Aeris.
"So Mr. Strife... I see you've been causing quite a bit of trouble tonight," Mayor Domino stood before Cloud. "Perhaps you should come with us." Cloud looked as Shin-Ra soldiers swarmed around Aeris and himself.
"My mother never told me to go with strangers... Wait a minute... My mother never said anything of that sort!" Cloud clutched his head. "Did I even have a mother? Oh! This is so confusing!" Aeris tapped Cloud on the shoulder.
"We established that you were an experiment gone wrong in the actual game Cloud," Aeris was getting nervous as the soldiers advanced on them.
"Oh! That's right! I keep forgetting about that! Where was I...? It's time to put Mr. Sugar out of commission." Cloud pulled out his sword. Domino held a gun up to Aeris' head.
"Do anything of the sort and I will blow this girl's head off," the mayor threatened.
"He'll do it! He's crazy!" the guy, that had said Vincent's name was funny, added. Mayor Domino turned and fired at him. The soldier crumpled to the floor. Cloud resheathed his sword.
"You certainly sucked the fun out of the experience!" Cloud moaned.
"Will you be coming with us now?" Domino asked again. Cloud shrugged.
"Will there be refreshments?" Cloud asked. Domino turned to one of his soldiers and asked. The soldier whispered back.
"Yes. We will have refreshments!" the mayor growled. Cloud grinned.
"OK. I'll come! As long as I don't need to anymore of your stupid file searching junk!" Cloud replied. The mayor frowned.
"Damn it... I really loved doing that," the mayor muttered.
"So, Mr. Strife... Will you be telling us what we want to know?" Domino asked.
"No," Cloud said plainly. Domino frowned.
"Oh... Alright. I really did want to know, but if you won't say..." Domino started to walk out. "Wait a minute!!" Domino ran back to Cloud. "You're my prisoner so you'll be telling me everything I want to know!"
"OK... Give me a piece of paper and I'll write it down," Cloud replied simply. Domino and the soldier began to squander the room for a piece of paper.
"Hey! I can't find-" the soldier growled.
"How about a napkin! I have a Mako Donalds napkin!" Domino waved it.
"OK Sugar man," Cloud replied.
"Do you mind not calling me that!" Domino growled. Cloud pulled out a pen and began to write on the napkin. After a few seconds, he handed it to Domino.
"Here's all the information you'll need," Cloud added.
"The world is Square? What the hell!?" Domino threw the napkin onto the table. (Final Fantasy 6) "Now you-!" Just then, Heiddeger walked into the room.
"That will be enough Domino," Heiddeger grinned.
"General Heiddeger... What are you doing here?" Domino asked.
"I have business with this girl," Heiddeger replied. Cloud scowled.
"Aeris! I could have loaned you money!" Cloud shook his head in displeasure.
"Not that kind of business!!" Heiddeger growled. "You have programming skills that are necessary for my agenda."
"Heiddeger! This isn't your investigation. Stay out of this!" Domino stood up to him. Heiddeger stared at him for a second and then started beating on him.
"Ah! You- Ow! Don't make me use my Domino's Heat Wave attack! Ouch!" Domino was thrown to the floor.
"This would be a good time to go," Cloud whispered to Aeris. They ran out of the room.
"They're getting away- Oww!!" Domino groaned. Heiddeger and Domino stopped fighting and ran to find a squad of troops they didn't mind having killed. After they left, Bannon walked in and looked at the table.
"Hey! Who left this piece of paper here!?" Bannon demanded. (Final Fantasy 6)
"This way looks-" Cloud and Aeris skidded to a halt as Shin-Ra soldiers came marching down the hallway.
"Bad," Aeris finished the sentence.
"Hey! It's those guys from the 007 series! Can I have your autograph!!" a soldier shouts. Cloud and Aeris turn down a hallway and run.
"They must not have seen us," a soldier replied. "Let's fire at them to get their attention." Bullets rang out through the hallway. Cloud and Aeris dashed to a ladder and quickly climbed it. Aeris cried out and slipped.
"Aeris!" Cloud screamed. "Nooooooooooooooooooooo!" Everything goes into slow motion.
"Cloooooooooooouuuuuuuuud!" Aeris cries out. Aeris' fall goes on for far longer than it should. Full speed.
"Ahhhhhh!" Aeris screams just as Cloud catches her. "Oh! Cloud! How did you-"
"No time for that," Cloud replied. "We have to hurry."
"Let's get 'em!" a soldier cries out. Another soldier halts them.
"Hold on guys. I wanna get a shot," the soldier holds out a camera while the soldiers pose. Cloud and Aeris run through the rafters and into another part of the warehouse. Cloud pulls out his FF7 just as two guards jump from above.
"Not a chance you-" the soldier loses his balance and falls off the rafter. The other soldier watches him fall into the library below. Cloud and Aeris look to the other soldier.
"Eh. It couldn't be as painful as it looks," the other soldier cried out and jumped down, crashing into a table.
"I bet that did," Cloud laughed. Cloud turned to see Domino and a group of soldiers pursuing them.
"You can't escape!" Domino shouted. Cloud fired at Domino. Even though he missed, Domino fell backwards, causing a 'Domino' effect and crashing into the rest of the soldiers. They all fell to the ground below. Suddenly, shots rang out from below and Cloud and Aeris hurried to an open window. Just before they reached it, Heiddeger dashed into the room with a group of soldiers. A soldier fired and hit a support on the rafters. Aeris lost her balance and fell to the floor. Heiddeger grabbed her and looked to Cloud.
"Damn," Cloud muttered. "I hate when the villain gets the girl..." Cloud turned to the window. "Now... How can I get through this window... Ooooh! I know... We'll just use a-"
FMV: Cloud crashes through the window with his motorcycle. Where he got a motorcycle and how many licks it will take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop... The world may never know...
"Hmm..." Cloud stood in the center of a huge military storage complex. "What can I use in here that will help to get Aeris..." Cloud looked around. "There's a tank... Nah... Too unoriginal... Magitek Armor... Too Final Fantasy 6... A Chocobo...
"Wooheehoo!!" the chocobo chirped.
"Nah... Also been done..." Cloud nodded. The chocobo spit at him and left, insulted.
"No airships... No hovercraft from FF4... No Epoch from Chrono Trigger... Maybe there's a Flammie Drum from Secret of Mana... Hey!" Cloud stood before something that looked fun. "It looks like we have a fated relationship!" The huge weapon opened and Cloud hopped into it. He kicked a young Fei out of it and started the engine. The young Fei started crying as he sat in the middle of the warehouse. Cloud prepared his new toy for a test drive. (Xenogears)
"Let go of me!!" Aeris screamed.
"You're coming with me!" Heiddeger shouted. They hopped into a car and sped towards the train station.
"You'll never get away with this!" Aeris yelled.
"Where's your hero now!?" Heiddeger laughed his annoying laugh. Just then, Weltall burst out into the road.
"I'm back!!" Cloud shouted.
"Reverse... Reverse!!" Heiddeger shouted to the driver. The car sped backwards as the Gear headed for the car.
"Nothing can keep me away from you!" Cloud shouted. Just then, a Kislev gear, Godzilla and King Kong stepped in front of him.
"Hey! This is a Final Fantasy fanfic! Stop it with all these excess guys!" Cloud complained. Godzilla screeched, the original screech not the crappy new one, and King Kong reached into a building and pulled out Celes. (Oh... Fine) Godzilla and King Kong disappeared. Celes screamed as she plummeted to the ground. (She'll be out for a year's time... Well, if I can't have them, you'll face some Square enemies!!)
Just then, the Giant of Bab-il, Diamond WEAPON, and Lavos appeared. The Kislev gear smiled and aimed its gun at Cloud.
"OK! Let's go Weltall!!" Weltall stepped on the Kislev gear and engaged with Diamond WEAPON. Weltall slugged it in the face and received a Diamond Flash to the face. Weltall shoved Diamond WEAPON into a building, which ripped apart in a fray of cardboard and sparks. (Budget cuts... Sorry) The Giant of Bab-il grabbed Weltall from behind and Lavos began to rain chaos on him. (Final Fantasy IV, Chrono Trigger)
"Clooooooooouuuuuuuddddddd!!!" Aeris screamed as the car got further and further away.
"Hey!! Don't hurt 'Elly'!!" Cloud screamed. (Xenogears) Weltall suddenly glowed an eerie purple. Two wild blasts of energy tore apart the Giant and sent Lavos into the sky, where it belongs. Weltall shook violently and transformed into the 'Red Gear.' System Ed...
"There is no Cloud anymore... Only Ed..." Cloud was now a child version of himself with red hair and a black outfit. Diamond WEAPON went to engage it's new opponent. "Are you strong?" Diamond WEAPON looked confused. "Guess I'll have to find out... Kishin..." The Red Gear gathered dark energy and unleashed the devastating attack on Diamond WEAPON. The Red Gear punched through Diamond WEAPON and threw him into a nearby lake. Ed looked over to where Aeris had been. "That meddlesome girl must be dealt with..." The Red Gear began to crush through town.
"Minimize Civilian Casualties!!" Cloud/Ed's watch read.
"There is no point in doing that... In fact, we'll make more casualties..." Ed began to crush anything in his path.
"Hey! Cloud's coming! He evolved to help me when I was in trouble!! I thought he didn't want to be my hero, but I guess I was wrong!" Aeris grinned. A beam of red energy fired from the Red Gear, nearly crushing the car.
"Your boyfriend is going to kill us!!" Heiddeger screamed. Another blast crashed down on the other side of the car. The car sped down a corner street and through an alley. Heiddeger sighed. "He won't be able to follow us now."
Suddenly, there was a violent shaking coming from behind them. Heiddeger dared to look back and saw the Red Gear holding the building over its head.
"Putting a building in my path is cheating. Here, take it back!" Ed threw the building at the car.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! It's going to be Game Over!" Aeris covered her head. Just then, Vierge flies in and catches the building.
"Hurry! I can't hold this much-" Elly shouts. The car speeds away and Vierge collapses while throwing the building to the side.
"Who dares ruin my fun?" Ed declares.
"I'm here to bring Id out of this fanfic. This is a Final Fantasy 7 fanfic! Not Xenogears!!" Elly was breathing heavy. Her gear was in really bad shape after holding a building for a few seconds.
"Fool... I will destroy you..." Ed went to crush Vierge with his fists, but Elly caught him.
"Cloud! Snap out of it! Aeris is being taken away!" Elly cried.
"No... Stop it!! You're ruining my fun!" Ed attempted to break Vierge's grip. The Red Gear backed away. "Damn! He's waking up..."
"Aeris, Cloud! Remember Aeris!" Elly shouted.
"Arrrghh!" the Red Gear knelt down and transformed back into Weltall.
"What happened...? Was it Sephiroth? Was he controlling me again?" Cloud moaned.
"No... You must follow Aeris!" Elly replied.
"You got it," Cloud began to race in the direction Elly, er... I mean, Aeris went.
"He won't be able to stop us now. He's been detained," Heiddeger replied. Sephiroth grinned.
"And you got the girl as well. I must say I am impressed with your performance. Here's a cracker," Sephiroth hands Heiddeger a cracker.
"He's been doing that ever since he saw that Omnipoint commercial with the parrot," Scarlet whispered. Sephiroth stepped over to Aeris.
"Well my dear. Glad you could join us. No Cloud to protect you... So I assume you'll be coming with us," Sephiroth grinned. Aeris scowled at him. Sephiroth suddenly grabbed Aeris and kissed her. Aeris, after struggling, pulled back and slapped him.
"Stay away from me!" Aeris shouted.
"Mmm... Tastes like chicken..." Sephiroth grinned. (If you didn't see the movie, you wouldn't get the joke here. But feel free to laugh anyway. Then again, you wouldn't have gotten the jokes for the last few pages if you didn't play Xenogears... Maybe I should have playing requirements for reading these fics.) Just then, a Shin-Ra soldier ran into the room.
"Sir! There's something ahead on the train tracks!" the soldier reported.
"Strife... It's gotta be him..." Sephiroth frowned.
"I'll simply leave this here. And we'll see how well the train fairs against it," Cloud grinned. He left Weltall on the train tracks and ran into the foliage on the side paths.
'He's nuts. I'm not going to sacrifice myself for his posterior,' Weltall registered. 'I will simply put someone of less value in my place.' Weltall disappeared and Fat Chocobo appeared instead.
"Wark?" the Fat Chocobo looked around in confusion.
"We're going to hit that chocobo!" Aeris screamed. "Do something!" Aeris shook Sephiroth.
"Would you stop it! Full speed!" Sephiroth barked an order.
"No!!" Aeris wailed.
"Hey look! It's a bird!" a Shin-Ra soldier shouted.
"No... It's a chocobo!" Sephiroth growled.
"No! In the sky! It's a bird!" the soldier persisted.
"No. I think it's more of a plane. Not the Tiny Bronco... Since that can't fly..." another soldier looked up.
"No! It's Superman!" another soldier shouted.
"Insolence..." Sephiroth growled. "I think the author is doing far too many cameo appearances in this fic..."
"He's going to stop the train!" Aeris grinned. Superman landed next to the Fat Chocobo and pushed him off the tracks.
"I will stop this train!" Superman shouted. Cloud, who had not been paying attention up to this point, looked up.
"Hey? What the hell are you-" Cloud watched the train screeching towards him. Superman went to hold out his hand, but got flattened.
"Hahahahaha! You're powers are useless in the Square world!" Sephiroth laughed. Cloud, now realizing that stopping the train was impossible, decided to take his entrance.
"But mine aren't!" Cloud shouted.