Eheeheeeehee. We just watched some Escaflowne movie in English, bwhahhaha! ((falls over from chairs laughing too hard)). It did however give us ideas of what to write, you lucky people you. We want to thank Michelle for thinking of the title for Fried, it's great! We've done some interesting things to your beloved characters, be warned, BE WARNED!
The start is actually based off of us in the car, however Numair isn't stupid enough to challenge my music choice (that cause Anne can drive, Numair can't; Anne has good road rage, Numair knows to fear it). Yeah…. So, go read! Be free!!
Disclaimer: Did you read the first one? I doubt we got rights between chapters…
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"C'mon Hitomi! Don't change the station!" Yukari whined, leaning over and turning the dial once again.
"If I get cut off one more time I'm gonna stick it up their as—"
"Hey Hitomi," Yukari piped before Hitomi's road rage could get this fic above a pg-13 rating, "where should we go now?"
"For starters, we'll put the station back where it was!" screamed our distressed heroine.
"But Hitomi," whined Yukari, "Radio Disney is so hip!"
Hitomi glared at her friend, wondering what she saw in her. "The End."
"Radio Disney!"
"The End."
"Radio Disney!"
"The End."
"Radio Disney!"
"The End or I'm gonna kick you out of this car right now!" shrieked Hitomi, her hair standing on its ends.
"Fine," sighed Yukari, slumping in her seat and cursing the day that Hitomi got her drivers license. "But where should we go?"
"GET OFF MY TAIL!!!!!!!!" screamed Hitomi, shaking her fist at the car behind her. Suddenly, she got that far-off tone in her voice that only Hitomi can do, "I don't know…" she looked up and saw…… a billboard (talk about anti-dramatic).
Stopping in the middle of the freeway, Hitomi gazed at the billboard, ignoring honks of annoyance from passerbyers. On the billboard was an image of a man in a heavy black cloak, only his eyes and a few wisps of blue/silver hair visible. In his eyes there was great pain of a horrible past. His hand was outstretched seductively, beckoning all to him.
The sign read: "Come to Gaea Super-Mall, O Consumer Goddess."
"How about Gaea?" Hitomi suggested mindlessly, starting the car up once more.
"Erm…. Radio Disney!"
"NO!!!!!!!!"
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The parking lot was packed. The stockings were hung, and the children were fast asleep, with sugarplums dancing in their heads…but that's elsewhere. In this part of the world Hitomi was busy screeching at an old woman who had snatched her parking spot at the last second. Once she stepped out of the car, however, she was back to her sweet self. Yukari breathed a sighed of relief.
Giggling in shopping-girl fashion, the two girls locked arms and skipped to the main entrance. Neither noticed the shifting area beside the car, which suddenly materialized into a golf cart. The RatSlayer silently slid out of his seat and lifted the hood of the Suzuki and removed the engine. Plopping back into his seat, he reactivated the stealth cloak and disappeared.
Hitomi and Yukari wandered around in the mall, chatting, window-shopping, shoplifting, and talking about other girlie shit that we, the authors, wouldn't know about.
Hitomi stopped suddenly. "I…I hear…I hear something…"
Over the loudspeaker, a deep sexy voice wafted throughout the mall. "Come to Zears, O Consumer Goddess. Yes, you tire of expensive engines, of bad cellphone reception, overpriced computer parts, of that section of the mall entirely. Yes, fade away into Zears, guaranteed low prices, everything on saaaaaaaaaaale…" With that, the sexy voice faded away back to the drone of the many shoppers.
"Hitomi, do you feel all right?"
"I've got to go…"
"What? You've been acting strange lately. Is it your 'time of the month'?"
"I've got to go…"
"The bathroom's right there." Yukari prompted, leading her towards the girl bathroom.
"I meant the store, but okay."
In the bathroom the girls took care of business. While sitting in their stalls, they commenced to talk to each other.
"Hitomi," grunted Yukari, "You've been acting strangely lately, I mean, hitting little old women with your car…"
"I'm always tired," replied Hitomi, getting that far off glazed look she sometimes gets. "All I want to do it sleep, just fade away… into Zears," she said mindlessly.
"If you are tired then you shouldn't be driving," muttered Yukari, flushing the toilet. "I'm worried about you Hitomi… GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"Yukari!"
"A rat!!!!!!" Yukari screeched, leaping out of the stall, a trail of toilet paper sticking to her foot.
BOOM!
The door flew open, mist and light billowing forth. The monk chant burst from nowhere, though the pretzel stand could be seen through the mists faintly. A figure crouched in the doorway, light shining around him.
"I've found you at last!" he hissed, pulling forth his spatula. The rat, fur on end, blood dripping from its previous attack wound, screeched and…
To be continued!
Just kidding! The rat leapt for our hero, who, with his finely honed spatula-man skills, skewered it in the mouth, slicing it in half. It dropped to the floor, dead.
"You saved us!" Yukari said ditzily.
"Ouyae oolfae! Atthae aswae onlyae ethae econdsae insae ommandcae!" the mysterious boy shouted.
"What!?" Yukari cried, turning to her friend.
"He said that was only the second-in-command! RUN!" Hitomi screamed, ushering her friend into the handicap stall. Shaking in mortal fear, the two huddled together, listening to the sounds of battle.
Suddenly, looking into the toilet, she saw the water swirl, forming an image! In it she saw the valiant young man, battling, when suddenly, the Rat Queen leapt upon him from above, chewing on his hair madly!
"He'll be killed!" gasped Hitomi. She had to do something, but what? "I've got to go!" she cried.
"Oh Hitomi, you just went." Grumbled Yukari.
"Not that!" she said, throwing the door open and jumping out into the battle scene. The boy was fending off the vicious rats. Above, in the ceiling, Hitomi saw evil eyes glinting hungrily.
"Above you!" she cried out, running forward.
The boy looked up in time to see the Rat Queen leaping from above. Grabbing his trusty spatula, he swatted it into the wall, its tiny head exploded in gore. It slid to the floor, dead. The other rats retreated, plotting revenge.
"Yeah, I've got rat poison where that came from!" cried the boy, shaking his fist. He regarded Hitomi a moment, then scoffed. "Listen girl, you didn't help me defeat the rats, but I'll give you a free meal since you got involved and all."
SLAP!!!!
"You pompous jerk!" Hitomi cried, her eyes getting misty, "I was worried about you! I saw it…in the toilet!"
"Erm…" he stared at her, eyebrow raised, "Maybe you should go lie down instead…"
"Hitomi?" Yukari inquired, emerging from the stall.
The boy sighed with his ever-heavy duty. "Areae uoyae urthae?"
Yukari grimaced and glared at him. "He was speaking English a minute ago…C'mon Hitomi, let's get out of here."
Hitomi stared into the boys reddish eyes, when he turned and began scooping up rat carcasses muttering about hot dogs. Yukari took hold of Hitomi's arm and pulled her out of the bathroom.
Back by the fountain, Hitomi stopped. "Listen, I need to go check something out at Zears, you go ahead and wait by the car."
"Okay." Smiled Yukari, glad she was finally getting out of this crack-whore story. She turned and made her dramatic exit.
Hitomi headed to the southern end of the mall where Zears was located. Tired, she stepped into the elevator, alone. Humming along with the elevator theme music, Shadow of Doubt, she was caught off when the elevator shuddered and then stopped.
"Hello?" she called, tapping on the glass walls, trying to make someone below see her.
"The mall will be closing in five minutes." The deep voice echoed.
"NOOOOOOoooooo!!!!" Hitomi shrieked, pounding on the glass with all her might.
Little did she realize it was soundproof glass.
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That was great, nice rat fighting action. We had the ideas for using rats, and while watching the Escaflowne movie (English, har har); Anne got the fight scene idea down. Eheeheee. Good news is that we have all the countries names thought of, bwhahaaahaaa. See you next time folks, remember to read and review!
