Grief overwhelmed Van as he fell to his knees, tears poured down his cheeks and fell to the Escalator's steps. Hitomi bit her lip uncertainly trying to think of something to comfort him in his period of grief.

"Van… it will be okay…" she began, trying to comfort him, a small smile tugging on the corners of her lips.

Van glared up at her, his left eye twitching. Hitomi decided it wasn't working and shut up. Glancing over her shoulder she saw the Foodnelia Court still aflame, the citizens still being circled, no other action being taken.

Suddenly, the Escalator started to shudder. Van's eyes widened as he pulled himself to his feet, glancing around nervously.

"Escalator! What's wrong!?" yelped Van, fear overcoming him.

Finally, the mighty Escalator let out one more violent shudder and stopped leaving them trapped in-between levels. Van's mouth opened in shock and horror, then he turned on Hitomi.

"We could just walk up," Hitomi suggested, taking a step forward.

"You…" hissed Van in a deadly tone, turning to her slowly. "You broke it! You weigh too much!"

SLAP!!!

Van's head jerked to the side as a red mark slowly appeared on his sexy face. Van's eyes were wide in shock; he was speechless.

"You jerk!" she snapped and began walking the rest of the way up to the second floor. Van gasped in horror and began shifting about on his one step.

"You! How are you doing that! Come back here! If you truly broke Legendary Escalator I will kill you!" he cried, brandishing his spatula and dancing about on his step, desperately trying to figure out a way to catch up to Hitomi.

Hitomi rolled her eyes and walked up the rest of the way.

Looking about the second level, she saw many of the clothing stores she recognized. This part of the mall looked a lot nicer, maybe the people here would be semi-sane? Seeing a bench, she began to walk over, ignoring Van's frantic cries of distress and anger.

"My feet are killing me," Hitomi muttered, removing her shoes and rubbing her feet.

"Shine your shoes for you miss?" a creepy voice said beside her. Hitomi looked over and saw…and saw…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

The mole-man jerked back, startled. Hitomi stared at him in horror.

"You Mole-man! I've warned you about harassing our customers!" an angelic voice declared. Hitomi turned and saw a silhouette against the neon lights, hair blowing in the air-conditioned breeze.

"Ah! A-Allen! I was just offering the young lady…!" the mole-man stuttered, jumping to his feet and backing towards the handrail.

"Take your punishment!" the figure, Allen, cried running forward and punching the mole-man square in the jaw, sending him over the rail. A faint splash could be heard as the old beast-man fell into the fountain below.

"Are you all right?" questioned Allen. He was tall, with long blonde tresses cascading down his back over his blue tee shirt.

There was a pause as Hitomi stared at the handsome man, until she heard Van, still 'trapped' on the Escalator call out suspiciously, "Hitomi? Hello?"

"I'm sorry about that man, Miss. May I give you a discount as compensation?"

A sudden cry of anger and Van sprinted up the Escalator and dashed between Hitomi and Allen, his hand straying towards his spatula handle.

"Touch this girl," he hissed, eyes narrowed, "and I swear I will kill you!"

"You were just about to kill me…" Hitomi added flatly. Van ignored her, never taking his eyes off Allen.

"But Van…" Hitomi began protesting.

"Quiet Hitomi!" Van commanded, whirling about and striking her in the face by accident, knocking her out with his deadly spatula. "Hitomi!" He shifted around, standing over her protectively. "What have you done to her!?"

"Careful, if you raise your spatula to me, I may have to fight you." Allen said calmly, warning lining his voice.

Van raised his spatula, ready to attack.

"That was foolish of you." Allen hissed, preparing himself for battle.

Van charged at his opponent, eyes filled with bloodlust and grief. Allen reached behind and drew his weapon…

BONK!

Still five feet away, Van crumpled to the floor, unconscious, struck by the long shaft of a reaching pole.

"I warned you. Be glad I used the blunt end, I don't want to kill you, but you left me no choice."

Allen strutted over to where the crumpled Van and unconscious Hitomi lay. Bending down, whistling, he removed the spatula from Van's hand to prevent the youth from causing more harm. Straightening up Allen's eyes narrowed as he saw the Crest of Foodnelia engraved upon the spatula.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Soft, warm, so comfortable…she didn't want to wake up. Something soft and heavy had been drawn up over her…faint music was playing far away. Ah, she was sleeping.

It had all been a dream. A horrible horrible nightmare. But she had dreamt up the youth, the burning of Foodnelia, all of it.

What a relief.

She stirred slightly, wrapping the warmth about her closer, trying to preserve that warmth.

"I think she's coming to."

Hitomi froze, that sounded like Yukari! Weird…

"Yukari, what are you doing in my bedroom…?" Hitomi muttered, burying her face further into the warm sheets.

"Who's Yukari? And if you're feeling better, would you please get off our polar fleece display?"

Hitomi's eyes snapped open in sudden horror. No! She sat up slowly, watching in disappointment as the sweatshirts and vests –not sheets- fell away. She was lying on a table, a large 'Sale!' sign hanging above her. Looking up, she saw a girl about her age with curly blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She was wearing a light pink button-up shirt and a black skirt with tights and high-heels.

"Oh, I've got it! This is still a dream," Hitomi squeaked, her voice going an octave higher, "I'm dreaming, that's it! There's no way this is happening--!"

Millerna swiftly reached into her fanny pack and sprayed something into Hitomi's eyes.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! My eyes! It BURNS!!!" shrieked Hitomi, rubbing her eyes furiously.

"Then it's not a dream, is it?" Millerna smiled cunningly.

"Owww…" she whimpered, glaring at Millerna with bloodshot and teary eyes. "What was that!?"

"Perfume."

"Ah, she's awake," said an angelic voice.

The radio station switched to Backstreet Boy's "I Want it That Way" as Hitomi looked up to see Allen walking out from the dressing room, a smug smile on his face.

"How are you feeling, O Consumer Goddess?"

"Huh?" Hitomi said flatly.

"You must be the legendary Goddess that will save the mall, we have been waiting for you." Allen smiled.

"She's not the Consumer Goddess you fool!" a familiar teenage voice rasped. Van strode into the room, dressed in a pair of khaki pants and a white skin-tight tee shirt with a GAP logo on his left breast. And he did not look pleased about it. "And who changed me!?"

"Don't worry," Allen replied, grinning, "it's on the house."

"You did it and you enjoyed every minute of it…" muttered Van. Tension filled the shop as the other employees stopped to watch the small group.

Allen shrugged, his poodle sitting beside him proudly. "So, what would the Manager of the Foodnelia Court be doing up in Aus'kosh Bigoshturia, let alone the second level?" the employee of the month inquired, holding up Van's spatula and showing the shining Crest of Foodnelia.

"Foodnelia was burned down by Zears!" Van exclaimed angrily, vengeance burning in his red eyes.

"I know, we watched the whole thing,"

Hitomi had to restrain Van.

"Besides," Allen continued, holding up Van's spatula and showing the shining Crest of Foodnelia, "why would the Manager of the Foodnelia Court lie?"

"Will you give me that!" Van snarled, jumping up and snatching his spatula back. "Come on Hitomi!"

"The Consumer Goddess shall stay with us," Allen stated, warning lining his voice once more.

"She's not the Consumer Goddess! And even if she was, she's going with me!"

"She must stay with us!"

"Don't listen to him Hitomi, he works at GAP!" Van sneered.

"What are you implying!?" Allen demanded, his little poodle growling at Van.

"Guys, I'm not some product…" Hitomi interjected angrily.

The two ignored her, glaring at each other. Van turned, aristocratic nose in the air, grabbed Hitomi's wrist, and began to walk away.

"Van, I cannot let you leave! You will have to go through me!" Allen declared, brandishing a shirt hanger.

"Oh for the love of…" Van rolled his eyes. But he was not one to turn down a challenge and, drawing his spatula, turned to face Allen.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The Ratslayers stood in line as their leader paced in front of them in the storage unit behind Zears. Dilandau glowered at them angrily with his red eyes, twitching in time.

"And how did the Foodnelians escape?" he hissed, tapping his foot on the ground while stopping in front of Chesta.

"A few jumped over and most darted between the golfmelefs, sir." The Ratslayer coward, preparing himself for the blow that would shortly come.

"And how many melefs were damaged?"

"Number three got an inch long scratch on the front hood sir."

Dilandau's fist made firm contact with Chesta jaw. The Ratslayer fell to the floor sobbing.

"Anything else I should know?" Dilandau sighed with his ever-present duty. The Ratslayers looked at one another, prompting another to speak up. Dalet swallowed and stepped forward.

"We managed to gain another engine from one of the shopper's vehicles today, sir."

"Really?" the albino said as two other Ratslayers brought the engine forth. Dilandau smiled and began to examine it, brows furrowing as he took in every detail.

"What is it?" Dilandau inquired, facing Dalet.

"It's a Suzuki, sir."

SLAP!

"We want Dodge!" shouted Dilandau as the Ratslayer fell to the floor, weeping beside Chesta.

"Dilandau," a deep sexy voice said from the shadows, "I sense the Rat in the outskirts of Aus'kosh Bigoshturia, in GAP, and he has the Consumer Goddess."

Dilandau started, clutching his heart. "Folken," he growled, "don't appear out of the shadows!"

"Then get better lighting."

Dilandau ignored him. "Ratslayers! To the Golfmelefs! Let's go hunt some Rat!"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

17/12/2002: Whoa, it's been awhile since we updated this one. We decided to update this one since it was fun to write, ha. Hahaha. Umm… if you look closely at one of the earlier episodes you'll notice a Dragonslayer crying on the floor after Dilandau bitch-slaps him, so we were justified in our actions. Be sure to review, because we are lonely, and more reviews equal more updates (… or should we not say that…?).

Oh yes, Numair is a Dilly.

Disclaimer: Do not own Escaflowne or any of the other stores that made their unfortunate way into this fic. So there.