A/N: This story was my Chyna muse getting fed up with the Hardy Boy separation. I don't own these guys and I promise to put them back when it's over. And for those of you who read Family Problems and want more, I'm thinking of continuing it with a focus on Sean Waltman's problems with the NWA:TNA.
Jeff woke up to a severe pounding in his head. A pounding that went right along with the pounding at his door. "Go the hell away," he croaked at the door of his hotel room.
"Um, no. Get up, Hardy!"
Jeff's eyes shot wide open. Why was Triple H at his door? It was 10 a.m. and Jeff knew that Hunter had still been at the bar when Jeff left at 2 that morning. "Oh man, my head," he mumbled. He raised his voice to reach through the door. "What can I do for you Hunter? This isn't about our match on Raw a few weeks ago is it?"
"Well, for starters, you can roll you little blue-headed ass out of bed and come open the door. And, no, it isn't."
The younger man groaned. God, that man's voice could carry. He slowly sat up, blue strands of hair falling in his face. He grabbed a shirt out of the luggage beside his bed. Stumbling to the door, his mind raced for a reason Triple H was at his door. He hadn't done or said anything stupid recently. Had he? He opened the door and was pushed to the side as Hunter let himself in.
Hunter snickered. "Nice outfit."
Jeff looked down. Was there something wrong? Nope, just as he thought, SpongeBob SquarePants Boxers and an Atari shirt. He watched as Hunter claimed a chair as his own, dressed completely in black. Jeff found himself wishing for a little color in the man's wardrobe. "Now, can you tell me what you want?"
"You've been looking like hell, Hardy." Hunter was a very forward person. "Your matches are fine, so far, but everywhere else, you're falling apart. I've noticed. So, I decided to give you some help."
"Nothing's wrong with me." Jeff had a headache and was already defending himself. Not fun.
Hunter snorted. "Bull shit. I haven't ever seen you at a bar since you joined the company and now you have been there the past three weeks, and you look like you've lost your best friend." He smiled. "And I think that is exactly the problem."
"Huh? Okay Hunter. You are obviously still drunk." Jeff shook his head. "I know I left the bar before you last night. It seems you just now left the bar yourself. Now," he motioned to the door, "if you don't mind, my head still hurts and I don't have to be on a plane till tomorrow morning." He reopened the door, hoping Hunter would take the obvious hint.
Hunter spoke, not moving from his seat. "I'm not leaving, Jeff. So, shut the door before a fan can see you."
Jeff slammed the door shut and locked it. "Right, so, you say you are here to help me. Why? What do I need help for?"
"Simple. I think you have a great shot at being one of the top guys in this sport." Hunter stood up. "But it makes no difference how big you get, you don't have the balance."
"Balance? What the hell? Who are you and what have you done with Triple H?"
Hunter walked to the door and opened it. "Get dressed and meet me in the lobby in ten minutes. If you aren't down there, I will come and get you. Dressed or not dressed." And with that he walked out, shutting the door behind him.
"What the hell?" Jeff asked again. He stood there for a moment, brushing out the tangles in his dyed hair with his fingers. But quickly he started to get dressed. He knew Hunter would drag his half-dressed butt outside.
He walked into the lobby nine minutes and 53 seconds later, still drying his nails.
"What in God's name are you doing with your hands?" Hunter stood at the door with coat in hand.
Jeff rolled his eyes. "I had to apply a second coat of polish to my nails."
Hunter reached up to rub his temples. "Of all the people for me to be seen with I have to be around the guy who paints his nails." He sighed, "Let's go."
Jeff stopped at the glass doors. "Shit. I can't go yet."
"Why not?" Hunter huffed.
He pointed at his reflection, "I forgot my Superman hat."
"Oh screw the hat, Jeff. We're leaving."
After 20 minutes of Jeff playing with the radio, he asked, "So where exactly are you taking me? Should I be concerned?"
"We are going to see a friend of mine. It's her place where I'm helping you." Hunter replied as he merged with traffic. "Oh yeah, I forgot. You haven't had breakfast." Hunter reached into the backseat of his rental car without looking and soon tossed a bottle of water and an energy bar in Jeff's lap.
"Uh, thanks." Jeff said hesitantly.
Hunter laughed. "Oh man, you should see your expression." He reached back again and this time placed a Dr. Pepper and a package of Starburst in Jeff's hands. "See, I'm a responsible kidnapper."
After about another 30 minutes of companionable silence, Hunter pulled into a driveway of a well-built two story home. "Alright, Jeff. This is it."
As they got out of the car, the front door opened and Hunter smiled as Jeff's jaw dropped.
"Come on in guys," Chyna called. "I've been waiting."
Hunter grabbed Jeff's shoulders. "Meet my partner in crime. She is working with me to get your help."
Jeff tried to pull away with no success. Hunter had one hell of a grip. "Ok, Triple H, I give up. How is coming here going to give me help with a problem I don't have?" Jeff was starting to get annoyed with this whole deal. He struggled up the steps with Hunter until his wrist was taken in a vice grip by Chyna.
"Get in this house, Hardy." She said, "You have decided not to help yourself so we are going to do it for you."
"If I go along with this idea, would you let me walk on my own?" Jeff asked. They nodded. "Okay then, I'll let you do whatever it is you are going to do." He smiled as Hunter and Chyna released their grips. "Thank you."
Chyna laughed. "So tough, yet so alone." She shook her head and kept moving down the hall. "Right this way."
She stopped down the hall and opened a door. She motioned them inside. "After you gentlemen."
Jeff hesitated as he heard a noise from inside the room, but the option to not walk in was taken away as Hunter shoved him in from behind. "Hey!" he turned but was too late as the door slammed behind him. He reached for the doorknob, realizing quickly that it was locked from the outside. "Damn."
"Don't even try. It will stay shut and locked until she opens it."
Jeff froze, and then slowly turned around to face his brother. "Uh, hi Matt."
Chyna's voice came from the outside. "Now this is me and Hunter helping the two of you. It's obvious that you two need each other to balance out your lives, and doing such will reflect on your in ring careers. You two will stay in that room until I am convinced you're friends again."
Hunter and Chyna walked away from the door the brothers were locked behind. "We do good work, Chyna."
"Yeah, " she slung her arm around his waist and stopped him in the hall. "It worked for the Dudley's earlier. Now that leaves only one other duo to help."
"And that would b - hey!" Hunter was cut short as Chyna threw open the door beside her and pushed him in. He tried to stop his stumble, but by the time he reached for the door, she had bolted it behind him.
"You two need to help yourselves too." She laughed and Hunter could hear her walk away.
"Crazy women. I guess that's why we made her part of DX."
"Yeah, Shawn, but she's smart too. Just a little smarter than us."
"Speak for yourself."
"Asshole."
"Yep."
