II- Blue
I lay on the floor and gaze the pale blue sky, scattered mauve clouds blotched on it. Nothing can spoil my vision. I feel divine.
I had not trained for six months now, yet I do not miss it. Maybe I had lost the need to push away the wrong with things I wanted to believe that were right, but in reality I knew that were useless. Now I found out what my past does mean, I quit this obsession and just do my life, brick by brick. I have been affraid of hurting this divinity I had reached, the peace that came back to my heart after so long away, and maybe that is why I denied my swords.
I do not know when I got this prolix, but the fact is that I am. Not only in what I say but also in what I think. Maybe it is a kind of prelude for my becoming a father. I got used to things, such a way I do not need any explanations or labels to life. Misao can understand me even when I do not say a word, but a child must be taught. The world will be a new experience, and obvious things are so difficult to see that we must state each detail of the hard task of being.
Or maybe I got like this to replace Misao. The last three months have been developing hard to her, she had grown tired, silent and had curled up herself in our room. Seldom can I see her around the building or here outside, and when I do is because I brought her. Maybe I began talking and thinking too much in an effort not to get used with silence, for she does not shout or hop around anymore due to a strange sickness she has been through. It is making me worried, as well as everybody here in Aoi-ya, due to Himura and Kamyia-san's recent death caused by an illness that no one understood either. Nobody knows how long it will last, but I do not want to come back to the crust of silence I had drown into in the past until Misao is able to shiver my world again, this time with our daughter.
Yes, she claims it is a girl. Somehow I believe her.
She is now wan and pale, but I still can recognize she is my Misao, despite all the changes she's been through. I see her, strong and hopeful, in every new and slow movement she makes. I can see her eyes shine bright when she stares at the sun. They look darker now, a shocking blue, still joyful though, not letting me forget who is my Misao-chan.
Nothing can take me away from the blue sky now.