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10/01/AC 197 [ saccharin ]
i awoke roughly around five in the morning. my whole body was convulsing with the embrace of the inclemency. so cold. i think personally think that it is futile spending inexplicable sums of money to replicate the seasons for colonies. ignoring the people in financial plight, so they can enable the masses to suffer from the superficial elements that they readily bestow upon us. my rise from my semi tepid sheets was forced, completely undesired. though ... no one is pressuring me to do this. why all of it then. i shook those feelings away, and then originated a shower. the choosing of my attire for the day was more natural considering i had a multitude of selections, verus when the majority of wardrobe was on the floor, the day before. loose fitting dark azure denim jeans and a black long sleeved shirt with a white under shirt.
my standardize traverse to school was seemingly ordinary. well intill i approached the section of sidewalk where duo almost induced physical harm upon me with his vehicle. i ceased all motion. and turned to the right, staring upward at the building. he must live here, i convinced myself. altering my path, stepping into the apartment complex's forum. i scanned the mailboxes; maxwell #27. simple as it was. i turned and gaze uncertainly at the building formation for quite sometime. an adamantine exhort arose in my core, a distinct desire to venture brazenly to his domain. my weight shifted as i completed the first footfall. it was a surreal sensation as i was underwent the locating of the front door. as if i was being lulled by intense presence, fate's pawn.
before the threshold, no sign of life within. would it be uncanny if i had told you i gained entrance by sliding his preventer identification card through the narrow slit, between the door and the frame. the door went ajar, a wave of adrenaline washed over my muscles. i stepped inside. the room was opaque, but i was able to see the dim form of a body residing within the sheets. still in the loving rapture of sleep, or at least i thought. i observed him momentarily, he eyes were reeling under his lids. strained inaudible murmurs escaping his lips; he was suffering. i my heart tensed, i felt pity for him. not even in sleep he was able to escape this horrid reality. i timidly approached the side of the bed, i was unsure in what to do.
"duo ... wake up." i softly offered, with an addition of a falter in my tone. with utmost care i leaned close, and nudged him with my lax hand upon the shoulder. no response, i grabbed his shoulder he screamed out in agony, i panicked. like a man of malice trying to hush a baby, i started to shake him violently.
"stop it...let me go...stop!" he pleaded, and swung at me violently. i obstructed his arm and clenched down on his wrist. he cowered and writhed under my grip, trying so desperately to break away.
"stop this foolishness." i gravely ordered, attempting to cease his fit, and my guilt. it felt like something beautiful had slipped between my careless finger, and now his its pieces lay scattered at my feet. my hold of him relented and he collapsed back into the bedding.
"heero?!" stammered in disbelief. and threw the lower sheet over his head. i took a step back or two. it was not supposed to occur like this. and i angled my head ahead from him, and tightly shut my eyes in utter disgust with myself. my anger shifted. as my vision refocused on him i swung my leg out from under me, my booted foot crashing into the side of the mattress. he lay still.
"if you do not hurry, we will be late." i offered softly, in attempts coax him out of bed. no reply. i crossed my arms, illustrating my frayed nerves. patience diminishing, anger growing. i lunged for the sheet, a desperate offense came into play.
"don't!" an urgent plea emitted from his lips. i suddenly understood, my features turned warm. i released my hold on the sheet abruptly, causing me to stumble back, omitting all grace. i direct my sight on the bed, but it slowly rose and met duo's uneasy gaze. i arched my brow apologetically, in addition to embarrassment. cautiously he enraptured the sheet around him and stood, awkwardly rushing to the bathroom.
"just give me five minutes" he stated loudly, so it traveled untainted through the door.
i quickly grew tired of idly standing there, so i motioned to the bed and sat upon it. i leaned back, placing my hands behind me, giving me support. my mind started to drift, but not too lengthy before the sudden realization swelled. my fingers tensed, and grabbed a mass of material before suddenly recoiling as i shot up. stupid, heero. i looked down at my hands, then to the lighted slit beneath the bathroom door, the drone of the running water provided me comfort.
he was taking longer then promised, i smoothly walked over to the dresser and knelt before it, hastily opening it. just has my hand violated duo's possessions the door flung open, and duo with a towel straddling his hips emerged. my eyes wandered to him, his hand rested on his hip, partially on the damp towel. i stood slowly, and almost took the proper attention military stance, i blinked at him, finding it diffcult to let my eyes linger upon him. he walked in strides to the closet, right past me, selecting his clothes.
"find something interesting?" he teased, and flashed me a belittling smile. i stiffen and leaned my head back somewhat, my eyes sliding forward leering at him. i found it easier to look at him this way. he removed the towel from his head, and repelled it in my direction, hitting my chest and falling to he floor. soon followed by a spray droplets. that instantly imbued into my attire. i had to cease my body from shaking, was i relishing in this ...? a small grunt escaped my lips, undesired. he turned and focused on me, perturbed, waiting. "ahem." he asserted while making gestures with his had. i went blank, then the obvious screamed at me, and i quickly turned. silently scolding myself. i heard agitated sounds coming from duo, i had to remind myself not to look. i heard the bed creak in succumb of mass, so i shift my weight, but a sudden cry pierced my ears, and immediately resumed my position. laughter ensued. i spun around and glared at his ill jest, and suddenly reacted. grabbing the closest blunt object and hurling it his way. the boot collided with his head. i quickly proceeded to leave the room, he followed commenting, "that wasn't very nice you know."
i went directly to his car, and got in undaunted. he got in and commenced operations of the vechile. as i watched the steady progression of moving scenery passed the passenager window, i felt a swift slap on the back of my head, i would assume that was revenge for my flinging of the boot moments before. but then he proceeded to pull a stunt while driving, his hands were busily braiding his hair, not secured on the steering wheel. the car proceeded to head in the direction of crossing the yellow line, and straight into another oncoming vechile. i lunged for the wheel, and jerked it to correct the path. i signed heavily, duo did not seem to care. in a confided space with him, that urge occurred again. i turned my head and asked if what i heard was true, in regards to forth period yesterday. his reply was a soft spoken lie, i pressed, but he yelled in defense, and that was the end of our conversation for the rest of the school day.
dissatisfied with outcome, after the last ring of the bell, i walked boldly to duo's car. he did not lock the doors when he exited in haste this morning, i simply got in, and proceeded to secure the seat belt. he was i believe nevoursly intrigued in my action, i could tell as he got in. hell, so was i. just what was i hoping to accomplish ... "you are late." i dryly indicated.
"I'm beginning to think you're following me" he taunted, adding a snicker at the end. i foolhardily expected him to take me home, but instead he pulled in his driveway. i tried my best not to take heed, exited, then moved directly onward to his apartment. i was the also the first in his own home. shameful actions on my part. i discared my books, and sat stiffly on his couch, lacking all manners turning on that appliance omitted from my home settings, if you could even call it a home, the television.
"make yourself at home" he mocked me. i gave no reaction, as i was occupying myself with altering the channel every few seconds, i heard a hum of a microwave, and varied popping bursts. he calmy walked past me, and threw himself down on the couch, to my left. and began chewing obnoxiously, i averted my attention to the television to him, making it anything but discreet i wanted some. he complied by throwing it in my face. amidst his jarring laughter, i snatched the bowl from his grasp, and then helped myself freely in his despite. i was in a home, not mine. but still. the atmosphere comforted me, i became idle, my lids closed, and i slipped into unconscious.
my eyes slowly parted, vision still hazy as i adjusted to reality. bliss. i was enraptured in warmth. i quickly shut my eyes to obstruct the flickering hollow light from tainting my vision. enclosed in gentle warmth. i grew greedy and drowsily inched closer to my benevolent rapture. freeing my soul, delivering me from all grief, from all strife. my hand drifted up, and caressed the source. silky locks, i smiled, i think even murmured incoherent whispers. but with the slow ease that loving flush drifted over my body, and icy cold exploded over the exterior of my body. my eyes shoot open and jumped up, the body draped over me, now sprawled on the hard floor. his rude awakening brought the realization more quickly. he looked up at me, still unsure. i glared down at him, angry, violation, uneasy, making a deadly combination. "what the hell were you doing?!" i spat. he tried to register it. but i would not wait. i began to storm out, as i slammed the door behind me, i faintly heard my name. my rage did not relent ... i pushed my way through the cold night. i did not have a jacket. my pallor altered to the frigid air. so cold.
commence. [ 10:06 p.m. ]
10/01/AC 197 [ saccharin ]
i awoke roughly around five in the morning. my whole body was convulsing with the embrace of the inclemency. so cold. i think personally think that it is futile spending inexplicable sums of money to replicate the seasons for colonies. ignoring the people in financial plight, so they can enable the masses to suffer from the superficial elements that they readily bestow upon us. my rise from my semi tepid sheets was forced, completely undesired. though ... no one is pressuring me to do this. why all of it then. i shook those feelings away, and then originated a shower. the choosing of my attire for the day was more natural considering i had a multitude of selections, verus when the majority of wardrobe was on the floor, the day before. loose fitting dark azure denim jeans and a black long sleeved shirt with a white under shirt.
my standardize traverse to school was seemingly ordinary. well intill i approached the section of sidewalk where duo almost induced physical harm upon me with his vehicle. i ceased all motion. and turned to the right, staring upward at the building. he must live here, i convinced myself. altering my path, stepping into the apartment complex's forum. i scanned the mailboxes; maxwell #27. simple as it was. i turned and gaze uncertainly at the building formation for quite sometime. an adamantine exhort arose in my core, a distinct desire to venture brazenly to his domain. my weight shifted as i completed the first footfall. it was a surreal sensation as i was underwent the locating of the front door. as if i was being lulled by intense presence, fate's pawn.
before the threshold, no sign of life within. would it be uncanny if i had told you i gained entrance by sliding his preventer identification card through the narrow slit, between the door and the frame. the door went ajar, a wave of adrenaline washed over my muscles. i stepped inside. the room was opaque, but i was able to see the dim form of a body residing within the sheets. still in the loving rapture of sleep, or at least i thought. i observed him momentarily, he eyes were reeling under his lids. strained inaudible murmurs escaping his lips; he was suffering. i my heart tensed, i felt pity for him. not even in sleep he was able to escape this horrid reality. i timidly approached the side of the bed, i was unsure in what to do.
"duo ... wake up." i softly offered, with an addition of a falter in my tone. with utmost care i leaned close, and nudged him with my lax hand upon the shoulder. no response, i grabbed his shoulder he screamed out in agony, i panicked. like a man of malice trying to hush a baby, i started to shake him violently.
"stop it...let me go...stop!" he pleaded, and swung at me violently. i obstructed his arm and clenched down on his wrist. he cowered and writhed under my grip, trying so desperately to break away.
"stop this foolishness." i gravely ordered, attempting to cease his fit, and my guilt. it felt like something beautiful had slipped between my careless finger, and now his its pieces lay scattered at my feet. my hold of him relented and he collapsed back into the bedding.
"heero?!" stammered in disbelief. and threw the lower sheet over his head. i took a step back or two. it was not supposed to occur like this. and i angled my head ahead from him, and tightly shut my eyes in utter disgust with myself. my anger shifted. as my vision refocused on him i swung my leg out from under me, my booted foot crashing into the side of the mattress. he lay still.
"if you do not hurry, we will be late." i offered softly, in attempts coax him out of bed. no reply. i crossed my arms, illustrating my frayed nerves. patience diminishing, anger growing. i lunged for the sheet, a desperate offense came into play.
"don't!" an urgent plea emitted from his lips. i suddenly understood, my features turned warm. i released my hold on the sheet abruptly, causing me to stumble back, omitting all grace. i direct my sight on the bed, but it slowly rose and met duo's uneasy gaze. i arched my brow apologetically, in addition to embarrassment. cautiously he enraptured the sheet around him and stood, awkwardly rushing to the bathroom.
"just give me five minutes" he stated loudly, so it traveled untainted through the door.
i quickly grew tired of idly standing there, so i motioned to the bed and sat upon it. i leaned back, placing my hands behind me, giving me support. my mind started to drift, but not too lengthy before the sudden realization swelled. my fingers tensed, and grabbed a mass of material before suddenly recoiling as i shot up. stupid, heero. i looked down at my hands, then to the lighted slit beneath the bathroom door, the drone of the running water provided me comfort.
he was taking longer then promised, i smoothly walked over to the dresser and knelt before it, hastily opening it. just has my hand violated duo's possessions the door flung open, and duo with a towel straddling his hips emerged. my eyes wandered to him, his hand rested on his hip, partially on the damp towel. i stood slowly, and almost took the proper attention military stance, i blinked at him, finding it diffcult to let my eyes linger upon him. he walked in strides to the closet, right past me, selecting his clothes.
"find something interesting?" he teased, and flashed me a belittling smile. i stiffen and leaned my head back somewhat, my eyes sliding forward leering at him. i found it easier to look at him this way. he removed the towel from his head, and repelled it in my direction, hitting my chest and falling to he floor. soon followed by a spray droplets. that instantly imbued into my attire. i had to cease my body from shaking, was i relishing in this ...? a small grunt escaped my lips, undesired. he turned and focused on me, perturbed, waiting. "ahem." he asserted while making gestures with his had. i went blank, then the obvious screamed at me, and i quickly turned. silently scolding myself. i heard agitated sounds coming from duo, i had to remind myself not to look. i heard the bed creak in succumb of mass, so i shift my weight, but a sudden cry pierced my ears, and immediately resumed my position. laughter ensued. i spun around and glared at his ill jest, and suddenly reacted. grabbing the closest blunt object and hurling it his way. the boot collided with his head. i quickly proceeded to leave the room, he followed commenting, "that wasn't very nice you know."
i went directly to his car, and got in undaunted. he got in and commenced operations of the vechile. as i watched the steady progression of moving scenery passed the passenager window, i felt a swift slap on the back of my head, i would assume that was revenge for my flinging of the boot moments before. but then he proceeded to pull a stunt while driving, his hands were busily braiding his hair, not secured on the steering wheel. the car proceeded to head in the direction of crossing the yellow line, and straight into another oncoming vechile. i lunged for the wheel, and jerked it to correct the path. i signed heavily, duo did not seem to care. in a confided space with him, that urge occurred again. i turned my head and asked if what i heard was true, in regards to forth period yesterday. his reply was a soft spoken lie, i pressed, but he yelled in defense, and that was the end of our conversation for the rest of the school day.
dissatisfied with outcome, after the last ring of the bell, i walked boldly to duo's car. he did not lock the doors when he exited in haste this morning, i simply got in, and proceeded to secure the seat belt. he was i believe nevoursly intrigued in my action, i could tell as he got in. hell, so was i. just what was i hoping to accomplish ... "you are late." i dryly indicated.
"I'm beginning to think you're following me" he taunted, adding a snicker at the end. i foolhardily expected him to take me home, but instead he pulled in his driveway. i tried my best not to take heed, exited, then moved directly onward to his apartment. i was the also the first in his own home. shameful actions on my part. i discared my books, and sat stiffly on his couch, lacking all manners turning on that appliance omitted from my home settings, if you could even call it a home, the television.
"make yourself at home" he mocked me. i gave no reaction, as i was occupying myself with altering the channel every few seconds, i heard a hum of a microwave, and varied popping bursts. he calmy walked past me, and threw himself down on the couch, to my left. and began chewing obnoxiously, i averted my attention to the television to him, making it anything but discreet i wanted some. he complied by throwing it in my face. amidst his jarring laughter, i snatched the bowl from his grasp, and then helped myself freely in his despite. i was in a home, not mine. but still. the atmosphere comforted me, i became idle, my lids closed, and i slipped into unconscious.
my eyes slowly parted, vision still hazy as i adjusted to reality. bliss. i was enraptured in warmth. i quickly shut my eyes to obstruct the flickering hollow light from tainting my vision. enclosed in gentle warmth. i grew greedy and drowsily inched closer to my benevolent rapture. freeing my soul, delivering me from all grief, from all strife. my hand drifted up, and caressed the source. silky locks, i smiled, i think even murmured incoherent whispers. but with the slow ease that loving flush drifted over my body, and icy cold exploded over the exterior of my body. my eyes shoot open and jumped up, the body draped over me, now sprawled on the hard floor. his rude awakening brought the realization more quickly. he looked up at me, still unsure. i glared down at him, angry, violation, uneasy, making a deadly combination. "what the hell were you doing?!" i spat. he tried to register it. but i would not wait. i began to storm out, as i slammed the door behind me, i faintly heard my name. my rage did not relent ... i pushed my way through the cold night. i did not have a jacket. my pallor altered to the frigid air. so cold.
commence. [ 10:06 p.m. ]