Phone Tag
Chapter 3 of the 'Who the Fudge' series
Written by: Chrys Maxwell
Disclaimer: Hi! I suppose you've been wondering where I've been. (riiiight) Well, a big 'ol storm hit us here in Indiana a few weeks ago. And my modem got fried. THE HORROR! THE HORROR! Well, that left me internetless. So I wrote this! Be glad! This is what happens when I get bored. hee hee hee. Well, the usual. I don't own anyone, and anyone not owned by whoever owns Gundam Wing are REAL PEOPLE and not to be used without their consent. E-mail me at chrysylis@hotmail.com to ask for their consent. I'm glad you all like this so much!! This is definitely the most popular fic I've ever written.
"Brrrrring!" the phone in the kitchen droned. I paused Majora's Mask to run upstairs before the answering machine picked up. "Hello?" I panted. Since our cordless phone had died, there was no way that I could get from the basement to a phone without being horribly out of breath. ...They were a lot of stairs, okay?!
"Hi, is Brandy there?" a cool tone of voice that could only belong to the God of Death answered. That's right. I got a call from the God of Death. ...That should be more disturbing, shouldn't it?
"That'd be me. Who's this?" Uh-huh, yeah, I'm learning to play dumb. That's right. PLAY. You're so mean.
"What? You can't tell already?" I could sense him smirking on the other side. I mean, that's Duo. He smirks.
"Ohhhhh! You! That annoying dude that kept following me all day!"
He sounded shocked. "Annoying!? I feel offended! ...Well, you left out cute, anyway,"
"Yeah, sure Braid Boy. How'd you get my number anyway?"
"I'm a magical elf and I know everything,"
"So you wear tights?"
"Yes, and right now they're CHAFING!"
"TOO MUCH INFO! TOO MUCH INFO!"
"You brought it upon yourself,"
"I know! But you didn't have to take advantage of it!"
"You know I would,"
"Sure I do. I met you today, I know everything about you," Well, at least I wasn't LYING...
"Ah. Got me there,"
"Hehe. So why'd you CALL?"
"Kate told me to,"
"SHE GAVE YOU MY NUMBER?! Oh... I'm soooo going to kill her..."
"You don't enjoy my company?" he whimpered.
"I have several bruises on my head due to YOU. Yes, I enjoy your company. Now where's the aspirin?"
"Try the drawer on the left,"
"Great, so now you're a full blown stalker?"
"Yee-up,"
"That makes me feel so special. But that position's already taken by two people,"
"Well, damn. Guess I came in a little too late, huh?"
"About a year,"
"Eh, I'll live,"
"Uh-huh..."
"So anyway... Are you busy tomorrow?"
"Yes,"
"Huh?"
"I said yes. It's not that hard a word, it's one syllable, three letters... You figure most life forms would know what it meant,"
"Uh, okay... Are you busy Sunday?"
"Yes,"
"Dammit! Stop being busy!"
"I can't help it if I have a life,"
"Sure ya can!"
"Right, I'll just stay chained to my computer for the rest of my life,"
Duo whined. "But I'm BOOOOOOORED!"
"Not my problem,"
"How about Monday? Are you free Monday?"
"...I'll think about it,"
"OH COME ON!"
"Hey, that's the best you've gotten from me so far, deal with it,"
"Fine. I'll call you later,"
"Uh-huh. Bye,"
"Bye,"
"Click, eeeeeeee...." the phone droned again. Finally, he's gone. Now I can get back to my game... DIE EVIL FISH THINGY!
* * * * *
"Brrrriiiiing," Kate's phone rang loudly. "I'll get it!" she said and rolled her eyes at the rest of her family.
"Thanks honey!" one of her parents absently answered.
Kate sighed and picked up the phone, "Hello?"
"You didn't tell me she was busy!!" Duo shouted.
"What do you mean she's busy?!" her parents gave her the evil eye, and she moved out of the room. "She's never busy! Maybe on Sunday, I could see, but... the heck?! Could you hang on a sec? I'll call her for you,"
"Great, I'll call back in about 20 minutes, okay?"
"...I'd make it 30. We'll probably end up talking about something entirely unrelated,"
"Fine," "Click, eeeeeee...." Kate quickly dialed Brandy's number, which she knew by heart.
* * * * *
"Brrrrrring!" "SPAMMIT!" I watched as Zora Link fell over dead AGAIN. "WHY?!?!?" I ran upstairs to answer the phone, but calmed down before I picked it up. "Hello?"
"What's this about you being busy?! If we were doing something this weekend, it would have been NICE to let ME know about it!"
"Believe it or not, it's not you!"
I could hear Kate blinking over the phone.
"Wait.... I don't get it... What am I missing, Brandy?"
"Brace yourself,"
"Wait a second, brace myself?" There was a pause. "Okay, I'm braced,"
"...I got a date,"
"...Oh... But... Duo just told me you were busy!"
"I know! I have a date!"
"Oh, wait wait wait wait wait... You have a date... with someone else? Okay, that's new,"
"Yes. Yes it is,"
"...Am I allowed to ask?"
"Will you tell Duo?"
"Not if you don't want me to. And not if it's something especially juicy, because that would just be fun. See, if it's just Tony, then pfeh..."
"NO! It's not Tony! Eww..."
Kate burst out laughing on the other side of the line.
"Icky icky icky..."
Still laughing....
"That still doesn't tell me who it is though!"
"Uhh..."
"I swear on my soul that I won't tell anyone. In fact, I swear on YOUR soul that I won't tell anyone,"
"Stop swearing on my soul! It feels hurt now,"
"I'm sorry, Brandy's Soul... NOW TELL ME!"
"Okay..." I made a long, dramatic pause. "It's... Quatre,"
The blinking could be heard again.
"....Quatre? The... The blonde one?"
"Yes. The one who particularly enjoys tea,"
"I like tea!"
"I know you do, Kate, but that's not the point-"
"Wait just a minute! Who asked who out?! You're BOTH wimpy!"
"Well... He asked me..."
"AWWWWWW!"
"SHUT UP!"
"Hee hee hee... Whatcha gonna do?"
"We're gonna go see Dungeons and Dragons,"
"Oooooh... That's good... But, um... Well, never mind. I'm sure you can use him for a tissue should it come to that,"
"WHAT?!"
Kate giggled. "Nevermind..."
"Kaaaaaaaaate!"
"I didn't say anything!"
"Yes, you did! I just heard you!"
"No you didn't! It's an illuuuuuuuusion..."
"...You're doing the stupid hand thing, aren't you?"
"...Yes,"
"That's MY schtick!"
"Oh, and how many of MINE have you stolen?!"
"Um... Not many, I'm sure..."
"Ah, pfeh! I can't even remember how many because you've absorbed them so thoroughly! They're now half yours!"
"So, they're not really stolen, cuz, they're half mine!"
"...I hate your logic,"
"Only because it's right,"
"Nooooo... Cuz it means I'm wrong! I don't like being wrong!"
"I know that..."
"Grr,"
I giggled. "Yeah, so, now you know,"
"I gotta go, I'm expecting another call,"
"Okay,"
"Can I call you back after that though?"
"No! I'm playing my game!"
"Aww... Please?"
"Noooooo! Link's died too many times!"
"He's stupid!"
"He is not!"
"Okay, so he's kinda dumb..."
"IS NOT!"
The conversation pretty much continued on like this until Kate had to get off the phone.
* * * * *
Duo called a few minutes later. Kate was in total monotone the entire time.
"Brandy is busy tomorrow. She cannot go out with you. Would Monday be alright?"
"What? What's she busy doing?"
"I know I know, no one refuses the God of Death,"
"Yeah, I kn- Wait a second..."
"Oh, uh, I gotta go! Bye!" *click, eeeeee....*
"Damn," Duo called her house again. Kate stared at the phone.
"I'm sooooo not answering that,"
* * * * *
"Brrrriiiiing..." "DAMMIT!" I ran upstairs again and picked up the phone, and through gritted teeth, answered. "What?"
"Chryyyyyyyys! (Tony DOES call me Chrys IRL) I'm bored!" Tony whined.
"YOU MADE ME KILL LINK AGAIN!"
"But, I-"
"HE'S LYING THERE, IN A PUDDLE OF HIS OWN BLOOD- well, okay, the blood's not there, it's my imagination, but still.. HE'S DEAD! AND YOU KILLED HIM!"
"Um... I wasn't even at your house..."
"YOU DISTRACTED ME!"
"Doesn't that make you weak minded?"
"NO! Just... jittery..."
"Aww.... But.."
"NO! You're wrong!"
"But, not even a little-?"
"NO! And don't do the finger thing, Kate hates the finger thing,"
"I don't give a damn if Kate hates the finger thing! ...Did I just say that?"
"Yes... And... Damn! I gotta go, bye!"
I forgot to yell at Kate! Dammit! She gave that baka my number! I quickly dialed her house.
Meanwhile, Kate still stared at the phone.
"Not answering, not answering, not answering, not answering... Oh god, what did I do?"
The machine picked up.
"KATE! I KNOW YOU'RE THERE! PICK UP THE PHONE SO I CAN YELL AT YOU!"
Kate picked up the phone and dropped the receiver as quickly as she could.
"Finally, Ka-" "Click, eeeeeee..." "Dammit," Well, no use in trying. I was halfway down the stairs when the phone rang again. "AUUUUUUUGH!" "Woof," my dog Millie barked at me, a sign of saying "Shut up, I want to sleep," I glared at her, then ran to answer the phone AGAIN.
"Hi, is Brandy there?"
"STOP CALLING ME!"
"Soooooorry, didn't know you were so popular," Kat taunted.
"AUUUGH! Link's died tooooo many times today! GO AWAY!"
"Just thought you'd like to know that Trowa came in to pick up a pizza..."
"...What?"
"Evidently, the boys like pizza. Well, PIZZAS. I'm betting that's Duo's fault,"
"Most definitely. But I'm gonna go. Talk to you later,"
"What was that with you and-"
"TALK TO YOU LATER,"
"Sorry! Bye,"
"Bye," I hung up the phone. Maybe NOW I'd get some game time.
* * * * *
Duo grumbled as he picked up a slice of his personal Extra Large pizza with everything, meaning EVERYTHING, on it.
"Busy... ....The hell can she be busy with anyway?!" Duo shouted at the pizza, as if it held all the answers to his problems. He took a bite. Well, maybe it could satiate his hunger. For about an hour. Heero had a pepperoni pizza, medium, of his own, Trowa and Quatre had their own medium vegetarian pizzas, and Wufei had Meat Lovers, medium. Heero was stationed at his laptop, investigating as many websites as he possibly could. Trowa and Wufei were trying to figure out how to use an "old fasioned" TV, and Quatre was trying to figure out what was bothering Duo.
"Duo, why do you look so upset?" Quatre asked politely, after swallowing another bite of pizza.
"*mumble, mutter* She's busy,"
"Who's busy? Kate?"
"No. Brandy,"
"Well, of course she's busy!"
"What do you mean? She's definitely not the type who has dates lined up around the entire block, waiting for her! She's cute, but..."
"Let me finish!" Quatre laughed. "She's going with me to a movie tomorrow,"
"WHAT?!" Duo stood up, effectively dropping his pizza into his lap, then to the floor, caught by the paper plate that had also been in his lap.
"Good aim," Heero commented absently.
Quatre grinned. "Well, at least now I know how to get back at you. Excuse me," he set his plate on the coffee table. "I have to make a phone call,"
* * * * *
Seven deaths later, I decided to save my game and try again later. Link just wasn't in the "lively" mood today, I guess. So, I proceeded upstairs, just in time to hear the phone ring again. I sighed dejectedly. "I give up!" I said to the ceiling. I picked up the phone again.
"Hello?"
"Oh, hi, is Brandy there?"
"That'd be me. Who's speaking?"
"Um, it's Quatre..." I bet he was blushing. HOW CUTE!
"Oh, hi! Finally, someone SANE to talk to!" Well, at least someone that hadn't been plotting against me or calling me repeatedly!
Quatre laughed. "Rough day?"
"Tooooo many phone calls..."
"Oh, is this a bad time? I'll call later, if you want me to..."
"No! It's okay, really. I gave up on what I was frustrated on. Just a stupid video game anyway," Oh my. I called my favourite video game stupid. Oops.
"Oh, um, alright. I was just calling to see what time would be best to meet at the theatre...?"
"Oh yes, that! Um... well, do you know the times for the movie?"
"Actually, I did check to see... online..." I could sense him smiling. "I figured we could catch the 4:30 matinee. Is that fine?"
"Yeah, great! I'll meet you there at, say, 4? You wouldn't BELIEVE the lines for movies..."
"Sounds good! I can't wait,"
"Me neither," Oh shut up, you.
"Well, I have to go. Dinner time and all," I looked at the clock. I had been playing Majora's Mask for 4 hours. It was now 7:30 PM. Wow.
"Ah, yes... me too. I'll talk to you later then,"
"Okay, bye!"
"Bye," "Click, eeee...." I sighed and hung up the phone, and absently wondered where my parents were. Just now, I noticed a note hanging above the phone. "Late tonight, make yourself some Ravioli or something. Love, Mom and Dad," Ah, so they were out having dinner together. Good, they needed to do things like that more often, anyway. But Ravioli? Nah... Let's have... EZ MAC!
* * * * *
Duo could be heard snoring in his room, and Quatre was also asleep. Heero, Trowa, and Wufei sat at the coffee table, strewn with paper cups and paper plates and empty pizza boxes.
"We're going to have to kidnap them. It's as simple as that," 01 monotoned.
"Kidnap those weak onnas?! What for?!"
"They could be a threat to our cover. And who knows if the enemy is here or not," Trowa answered the irritated China man.
"Hmph. Onnas do NOT pose threats to ME,"
"Wufei, don't make me pull out that drawing again-"
"NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!" The aforementioned drawing was of Wufei... as a woman. He had CRIED for an hour, at least.
"Good. Then we're agreed. First we'll bug their houses, learn their activities, and then, after it seems we're as harmless, we'll kidnap them. Hopefully, they are as smart as they've been, and won't say a thing to put us in a dangerous situation..."
"What about Duo and Quatre?"
"I think it's best if they don't know about it yet. They seem to be getting emotionally attached to our threats... We can't have them mess this up, because they won't understand,"
Trowa nodded. Wufei crossed his arms and leaned back on the sofa.
"They're still weak onnas,"
"Sure, Wufei,"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Am I good, or am I good? Thank you! Please review! You know I'll love you 200% more if you do! *cheesy grin* What will happen next? Who are these enemies Heero is speaking of? Will we actually SEE the date scene this time?! Will Wufei ever stop being such a jerk?! (we know that answer, folks. Sorry, me no like him much. *grin*) All this and a bag of chips in Chapter Four!
~Chrys