here are the previous entries for the rolyplay blog of heero, if you want faster updates please proceed to: http://heero-yui.diaryland.com/ . or if you are interested in reading other characters blog or interested in applying for a character pleas go to: http://www.crash-down.org/gundam/ . thanks so much for your time. leave comments on the blog, please? and thank you to all you have commented! it means so much! take care!
[ note: if you feel i am vague in some parts, its intentional! lol sometimes Heero is just as clueless into what is occurring as you are. still have that desire to know all? i implore you to read the other characters blogs! heh heh ]
10/12/AC 197 [ benumbed ]
dolour cruciation my senses, as conciseness penetrated my slumber. an arefaction assault on my temples. a listless moan emitted from my lips, as i writhed under the covers. saturated in perspiration. piercing pain again, gnawing at me. i heaved. the span of the mattress insufficient. my torso collided with the floor. A dull sound, without resonance ensued. aching amplified. ineptly i attempted to obstruct the impertinent light from stinging my vision. subdued in that imposed placement, i racked my mind. but that was short lived. i perceived his embodiment, through the blur of my cognizant, beyond my disorderly accumulation limbs. as i attempted to position myself more properly, i was afflicted by the sudden realization to regards to were i was. imparting a biased aspect, i saw his immaculate face. i looked away. staring at the wall. stained in morning hues.
"good morning." a felicitous inclination spoken. instantaneously. my fingers motioned, conveying to support my head protectively, as the reverberations throbbed through my temples. derived from his candied coated voice. tenderly proffering a hand, securing a glass of water, and a palm, with modest white pills. i beseeched the glass in hand, transferring the grip unto mine. eyes half lidded.
"how did i get here?" i muttered discontentedly, lacking all pliancy. frail fingertips assorted the assumed aspirin, and removed it from his open hand. i sluggishly brought them to my mouth, ajar, followed by the rim of the glass. greedily consuming the liquid, cresting at my lips. overflowing. dribbling down my chin, and dripping onto my stale shirt.
"it was me you came to in your drunken stupor." before those words could even register, his tone had grated on my ears. i slumped forward, reinstating my unsteady hands, cradling face. a soft plea.
"do you have to speak so loud." trying to evoke mercy, practically failing at assuming a standing position. almost falling over as my body recoiled to his bellowed word: what. in mock of my state. my response was a cutting inhalation of air, and an unsightly twist of my features. he laughed at my plight. lethargically, i stumbled past him, and through the door. several times careening into the hall's walls. but continuing, scathed. i staggered out on to the cold linoleum of the kitchen, my feet padded by socks. omitting all legerity i homed in on the refrigerator. and laterally swung the door open. the hollow light imbuing one my pallor, once more. my sight tainted by haze, refining, as i decided what to withdraw. as my hand grazed the cardboard carton, i heard him. presumptuous, i took no heed, proceeded to clutch onto the contain of orange juice. fumbling to open it. elevating it to the siccity of my lips. the taction stiff paper on my mouth, spilling its contents down my throat. my body tensed, my grip loosened. his lips. our mouths. the palpation. the violation. everything. the carton slipped from hand, and crashed to the ground. orange juice pouring out at my feet, my socks sopping the fluid. i adverted to him. his eyes eluded my own. i stared, fault ridden. eyes wide. swaying in stance. potent with remorse, moral anguish gnawing at my immaterial entity. he extracted himself from the kitchen. lament imbuing on his composure. regret. what did i do. is that all i did. i was unsure. with his back to me, he produced his keys from his pant pocket. returning from his deviation, eyes solely upon me. he spoke thinly.
"you'll probably want to go..." he offered. as he turned away, again. i could not speak. i had no desire to leave, but i could not endure being submerged in my sins. allot in my offense. a fleeting moment. fallacious instrumentality. he proceeded towards the exit. no yet. but i still intimated.
it was disquieting, being in that small space. the victim and the assailant. so ill at ease. my hands were shaking. as the velocity of the car pulled on my body, a sudden convulsion. i encircled my abdomen with my arms. the veering of the vehicle agitated the impending sickness. i heard his laugh, it was distant. i lurched forward desperately trying to subdue the heave. all futile.
"duo...i do not feel so well." i pathetically implored.
"oh, shit!" he wailed and accelerated the car. giving way a spasmodic writhe. he took notice. "not in my car! not in my car!" he screamed at me. i did my best to comply. my palm sufficed for a compress over my mouth. as the car veered on to the side of the road, simultaneously, i impulsively threw my door open. abundant with pernicity i crawled out of the car, taking no notice that my foot was looped around the seat beat. i was able to place my open palms out before my torso, as i fell onto the pavement. the tender flesh absorbing most of the impact. i was not even permitted to wince in pain, before the vomit violently discharged from my mouth. every involuntary muscular contraction was torturous. it finally ceased. a strain of body excrement dangling from the corner of my mouth. the ungodly fluid before me, sprayed on the cement. i closed my eyes, and jerked my head away. wavily i tried to get back into the vehicle. he mustered a smile, he pitied this wretch. i wiped my mouth with my hand, i was disgusted with myself. my clothes reeked of vomit. i was a mess. i was ashamed.
before i knew it my inner turmoil needed to be placed on momentary pause. the engine had grown silent, i remained motionless. every second i lingered was audacious, but i did not want to leave his company. even after my irrefutable actions. i searched his face. now i have got that feeling once again. i cannot explain. you would not understand. this is not how i am. i caught a fleeting glimpse out of the corner of my eye. i turned to look but it was gone. there is no pain, yet i am receding . with excessive care, i shut the door behind me. the car did not leave, he did not leave. go. do not look back. i did not. but i wanted to. my apartment, is there anybody in there? just nod if you can hear me. is there anyone at home? no one. alone. my body, my nerves. still marred. i stripped the tainted clothing from my skin. dropping them along my path. i reached the bathroom, opaque. i did not bother to turn on the light. i drew a bath. the tub was not even half full before i set my naked body within its bowels. with my head propped upon the porcelain rim, i closed my eyes. your lips move but i can not hear what you are saying. the water was rising. the child is grown, the dream is gone. i have become comfortably numb.
commence. [ 4:26 p.m. ]
[ note: if you feel i am vague in some parts, its intentional! lol sometimes Heero is just as clueless into what is occurring as you are. still have that desire to know all? i implore you to read the other characters blogs! heh heh ]
10/12/AC 197 [ benumbed ]
dolour cruciation my senses, as conciseness penetrated my slumber. an arefaction assault on my temples. a listless moan emitted from my lips, as i writhed under the covers. saturated in perspiration. piercing pain again, gnawing at me. i heaved. the span of the mattress insufficient. my torso collided with the floor. A dull sound, without resonance ensued. aching amplified. ineptly i attempted to obstruct the impertinent light from stinging my vision. subdued in that imposed placement, i racked my mind. but that was short lived. i perceived his embodiment, through the blur of my cognizant, beyond my disorderly accumulation limbs. as i attempted to position myself more properly, i was afflicted by the sudden realization to regards to were i was. imparting a biased aspect, i saw his immaculate face. i looked away. staring at the wall. stained in morning hues.
"good morning." a felicitous inclination spoken. instantaneously. my fingers motioned, conveying to support my head protectively, as the reverberations throbbed through my temples. derived from his candied coated voice. tenderly proffering a hand, securing a glass of water, and a palm, with modest white pills. i beseeched the glass in hand, transferring the grip unto mine. eyes half lidded.
"how did i get here?" i muttered discontentedly, lacking all pliancy. frail fingertips assorted the assumed aspirin, and removed it from his open hand. i sluggishly brought them to my mouth, ajar, followed by the rim of the glass. greedily consuming the liquid, cresting at my lips. overflowing. dribbling down my chin, and dripping onto my stale shirt.
"it was me you came to in your drunken stupor." before those words could even register, his tone had grated on my ears. i slumped forward, reinstating my unsteady hands, cradling face. a soft plea.
"do you have to speak so loud." trying to evoke mercy, practically failing at assuming a standing position. almost falling over as my body recoiled to his bellowed word: what. in mock of my state. my response was a cutting inhalation of air, and an unsightly twist of my features. he laughed at my plight. lethargically, i stumbled past him, and through the door. several times careening into the hall's walls. but continuing, scathed. i staggered out on to the cold linoleum of the kitchen, my feet padded by socks. omitting all legerity i homed in on the refrigerator. and laterally swung the door open. the hollow light imbuing one my pallor, once more. my sight tainted by haze, refining, as i decided what to withdraw. as my hand grazed the cardboard carton, i heard him. presumptuous, i took no heed, proceeded to clutch onto the contain of orange juice. fumbling to open it. elevating it to the siccity of my lips. the taction stiff paper on my mouth, spilling its contents down my throat. my body tensed, my grip loosened. his lips. our mouths. the palpation. the violation. everything. the carton slipped from hand, and crashed to the ground. orange juice pouring out at my feet, my socks sopping the fluid. i adverted to him. his eyes eluded my own. i stared, fault ridden. eyes wide. swaying in stance. potent with remorse, moral anguish gnawing at my immaterial entity. he extracted himself from the kitchen. lament imbuing on his composure. regret. what did i do. is that all i did. i was unsure. with his back to me, he produced his keys from his pant pocket. returning from his deviation, eyes solely upon me. he spoke thinly.
"you'll probably want to go..." he offered. as he turned away, again. i could not speak. i had no desire to leave, but i could not endure being submerged in my sins. allot in my offense. a fleeting moment. fallacious instrumentality. he proceeded towards the exit. no yet. but i still intimated.
it was disquieting, being in that small space. the victim and the assailant. so ill at ease. my hands were shaking. as the velocity of the car pulled on my body, a sudden convulsion. i encircled my abdomen with my arms. the veering of the vehicle agitated the impending sickness. i heard his laugh, it was distant. i lurched forward desperately trying to subdue the heave. all futile.
"duo...i do not feel so well." i pathetically implored.
"oh, shit!" he wailed and accelerated the car. giving way a spasmodic writhe. he took notice. "not in my car! not in my car!" he screamed at me. i did my best to comply. my palm sufficed for a compress over my mouth. as the car veered on to the side of the road, simultaneously, i impulsively threw my door open. abundant with pernicity i crawled out of the car, taking no notice that my foot was looped around the seat beat. i was able to place my open palms out before my torso, as i fell onto the pavement. the tender flesh absorbing most of the impact. i was not even permitted to wince in pain, before the vomit violently discharged from my mouth. every involuntary muscular contraction was torturous. it finally ceased. a strain of body excrement dangling from the corner of my mouth. the ungodly fluid before me, sprayed on the cement. i closed my eyes, and jerked my head away. wavily i tried to get back into the vehicle. he mustered a smile, he pitied this wretch. i wiped my mouth with my hand, i was disgusted with myself. my clothes reeked of vomit. i was a mess. i was ashamed.
before i knew it my inner turmoil needed to be placed on momentary pause. the engine had grown silent, i remained motionless. every second i lingered was audacious, but i did not want to leave his company. even after my irrefutable actions. i searched his face. now i have got that feeling once again. i cannot explain. you would not understand. this is not how i am. i caught a fleeting glimpse out of the corner of my eye. i turned to look but it was gone. there is no pain, yet i am receding . with excessive care, i shut the door behind me. the car did not leave, he did not leave. go. do not look back. i did not. but i wanted to. my apartment, is there anybody in there? just nod if you can hear me. is there anyone at home? no one. alone. my body, my nerves. still marred. i stripped the tainted clothing from my skin. dropping them along my path. i reached the bathroom, opaque. i did not bother to turn on the light. i drew a bath. the tub was not even half full before i set my naked body within its bowels. with my head propped upon the porcelain rim, i closed my eyes. your lips move but i can not hear what you are saying. the water was rising. the child is grown, the dream is gone. i have become comfortably numb.
commence. [ 4:26 p.m. ]