Chandler's Daughter

Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, but to Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only for entertainment. However, if anyone knows where I can purchase them for the low-low price of fifty cents...

Author's Note: Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way! Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh! Hey!

- - - - - - - - -

As the next three months went by, Megan and Monica got to know each other, and Monica felt like Megan was her own daughter. But every so often, something would happen to remind her that Megan wasn't hers.

"So I talked to Mrs. Green the other day," Judy said casually over the phone. "She and Rachel had lunch."

"Uh-huh," Monica said indifferently.

Judy, never one for tact when it came to her daughter, got straight to the point. "Well, Rachel let it slip that Chandler had a daughter."

Monica's phone dropped, clattering to the kitchen floor.

"Great," Monica muttered. "Just great." Taking a deep breath, she picked up the phone.

"Monica dear? Are you there?"

"Yeah, sorry."

"As I was saying, Chandler has a daughter," her mother repeated, as though to clarify for Monica." Right. I know."

"You do know. Well, I was just wondering when you were going to leave him."

"Leave-"

"Well, once a cheater, always a cheater."

"But-"

"I just think you should know that your father and I will gladly take you back in. I never trusted that Chandler anyway."

"Mom?"

"He always seemed a little...suspicious, what with his strange parents. I shouldn't have let you married him in the first place-"

"Mom!"

"Yes?"

"Look, he didn't cheat on me."

"I'm sure he told you that, dear, but-"

"No. Megan was conceived before we started dating."

"So he was cheating on the mother?"

"No."

"Monica, dear, he was cheating on somebody."

"He was cheating on no one, Mother."

"Really."

"Yes, really, and besides, Megan is a very sweet little girl. Last week we went to the zoo and fed the seals. It was so cute! She was afraid to touch the little fish for the seals because she didn't want to hurt them. But she didn't know they were already dead. She's coming over this weekend and we're-"

"Monica, she is not your daughter."

"What?"

"I know you might be happy pretending that you do have a daughter, but let me remind you of something. You don't. She isn't your daughter. She's your husband's daughter and if you had any sense at all, you would divorce him." Monica was silent and over the phone heard a doorbell in the background. "I'll have to let you go now, your Aunt Theresa is here. Sometimes that woman makes me so mad, telling me how to clean my house and trying to run my life."

"Must be tough," Monica remarked at the silent receiver before hanging it up. She sighed and sat down on at the kitchen table.

"Hey, sweetie," Chandler greeted a few minutes later when he walked through the apartment door. He kissed her on the cheek and sat down next to her.

"Hi," she said soberly a few seconds later.

"You okay? You're starting to sound like Ross before his first divorce. And his second. And his third...are-are you trying to tell me something here?"

"I talked to my mother."

"Oh?"

"Rachel's mom told my mom that Rachel told her that you have a daughter."

"Oh."

"Yeah. So I'm supposed to divorce you."

"Um, hi. What?"

Monica smiled and took his hand reassuringly.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to." Monica sighed. "She said Megan's not my daughter and if I had any brains at all, I'd divorce you. And she wants me to come live back home."

"What'd you say?"

"I didn't really get a chance to say anything, because then she had to go."

"Are you gunna?"

"Gunna what?"

"Gunna divorce me and live at home."

"No. If I were gunna divorce you, it wouldn't be because my mother told me to, and I would not go back there. If anything, you're guaranteed to keep me for the next five years."

"Because...?"

"Because I don't do anything my mother tells me to. Not anymore, and not when it has to do with you. So if anything, we'll stay married to bother her."

"Gee, Mon, I feel so loved," Chandler remarked sarcastically.

Monica smiled and lightly kissed his lips. "That's not the only reason and you know it."

He grinned stupidly. "I know."

Monica laughed. "You have no idea how stupid you look right now."

- - - -

"So," Monica said as she sat down on the couch next to Rachel in Central Perk. "Talked to my mother yesterday."

"Oh?" Rachel said worriedly.

"Yeah. Yeah, she told me a bit of interesting news."

"Really."

"Uh-huh. Apparently, my great-aunt Ronda had a stroke the other day."

"Oh?" Rachel was visibly relieved, and added, "That's-that's too bad."

"Yeah, it is."

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah. She's coming home from the hospital next week. Oh, and she said Mrs. Green told her about Megan."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean to tell, it just sorta popped out. I was talking and Mom said something about my cousin's daughter and I said, oh yeah, she reminds me of Megan. And then she was like who's Megan and I just kinda...told her everything. I am so, so, so sorry so if you want to hate me, then I don't bl-"

"I don't hate you. Just wish you hadn't said anything yet."

"Sorry. So...what'd your mom say?"

"I'm supposed to divorce Chandler because if he wasn't cheating on me with Megan's mother, then he was cheating on Megan's mother with me. Or something like that."

"Aw, I'm sorry honey."

"Me too."

"Are you gunna?"

"Nope."

"Hi, Monica!" Monica turned around to see Chandler walking in with Megan, who ran to Monica, giving her a big hug." Hey, Megan." Megan smiled and sat down between Monica and Rachel as Chandler plopped on to the armchair at the end of the coffee table." Hi, Aunt Rachel."

"Megs," Rachel nudged Megan gently, and whispered, "Ask him."

"Oh yeah! Um, Daddy, can me and Rachel and Monica go see Monsters, Inc. and go shopping today? We'll just take the silver card-"

"Gold," Monica whispered.

"Yeah. Gold card. So please?" She pouted, with blue puppy dog eyes.

"Please?" "Please?" "Please?" Monica and Rachel joined in.

"Well..."

"Give him a hug," Rachel prompted. Megan grinned and jumped into Chandler's lap.

"Please, Daddy? Please?"

"Okay. But on one condition. Aunt Rachel does not touch the credit card."

"But, Chandler-" Rachel started.

"But, Rachel," he mimicked. "Someone's gunna have to pay for Megan's college."

- - - -

"Can I have another one? Please, please, please, please!!" Megan said two days later in the park, pointing frantically to the ice cream booth.

"No-no-no. You're already too hyper and chocolaty-y," Chandler said, trying to wipe her ice-cream covered face off with a paper napkin. "I think it's dried into your skin, Megan. Your mother won't like this..."

"Then I should get another one, right Daddy? I can-I can put chocolate all over and then it'll look like I'm made of chocolate and she won't be mad and then-"

"Here," Monica said, handing Chandler a wet-nap. Megan continued her tirade until Chandler had washed her face clean.

"...isn't that a good idea, Daddy? Daddy, isn't it?" she asked, tugging on his sleeve.

Chandler smiled and shook his head.

"It's a good idea, but you'll have to try it another day."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

Monica glanced at the sky, then at her watch. "I think it's gunna rain, and it's almost 4:30. We should go soon."

"Just five more minutes? Please, please?" Megan said.

Monica glanced at Chandler, who nodded slightly, and Monica said, "Okay, but just five. Your mom is picking you up at five o'clock."

But before Megan could run back to the jungle gym, the clouds opened, and it began to rain.

"Oh man! Oh man oh man!" Megan said with an exasperated sigh.

- - - -

Megan moved restlessly on the floor as Monica and Rachel tried to interest her with Barbie dolls.

"Ken, I don't believe you would even think of doing something like that with some copy shop girl!" Rachel narrated as she held a Barbie and a Ken doll in each hand. "I told you! We were on a break!" she said in lower voice. Then, in a high feminine voice, "Get out of my apartment!" "But Barbie, I still love-" "No! Get out!" "I am sorry. We weren't on a break. I am a horrible, terrible person-"

Monica and Chandler simply stared at Rachel, who looked up from her play.

"Who doesn't deserve-" In her normal voice, noticing the looks, she innocently said, "What?"

"Push Ross Out The Window, next on Therapy Home Theatre," Chandler remarked.

Rachel stuck her tongue out and began to change the Barbie's clothes, putting her in a wedding dress.

"Where's Mommy? I wanna go home. Auntie Rachel is boring!" Megan said with a sigh."

Uh-I am-I am not boring. Do you wanna know who's boring? Your Uncle Ross is boring." With the Ken doll, she said, "Look everybody, a dead dinosaur! Oh, and here's a little tiny bone we didn't know it had. Ooh! Wow!"

"Daddy! Tell her to stop!"

"Rachel-"

"Okay, okay I'm stopping."

"I have to go to the bathroom," Megan announced as she got home from her seat in the floor around the coffee table.

"Well, you know where it is," Monica said as she pulled herself out of the floor and sat down on the couch.

"She should've been here by now," Chandler said, glancing at the clock which read seven-thirty.

"Maybe she's stuck in traffic," Rachel suggested, putting the Ken doll in a tuxedo.

"But she would have called."

The phone rang, and Rachel said, "Maybe that's her now."

"Hello?" Chandler said, as he picked up the telephone. "Yeah, that's me...Yes, actually that's my daughter's-...Is she okay?...Um...Yeah, sure...No, I don't know them off-hand...Sure...Thanks."

Chandler hung up the phone and turned to Monica and Rachel's anxious faces.

"Chloe was in a car accident. The nurse said she's pretty bad so I'm gunna go back to their apartment, get some more clothes and stuff for Megan, and Chloe's address book so they can call her mom."

- - - -

Chandler came back a few hours later with a bag full of Megan's things. By then, Rachel had talked to their other three friends, and they all came by to help keep Megan preoccupied. They were doing a bad job.

"Where's Mommy?" Megan asked from the couch, where she was laying half- asleep.

Chandler ignored the question, and said, "You get to spend the night here again, Meg! Why don't you get ready for bed and I'll come tuck you in in a few minutes."

Megan nodded and got off the couch, walking into the guestroom and closing the door. Monica turned the television up louder so Megan wouldn't hear them talking.

"So? What happened?" Monica asked as Chandler sat down on the couch next to her.

"She died."

"What's gunna happen to Megan?" Joey asked.

"Her parents came but...they're kind of...estranged to Megan and Chloe. They don't really want to take Megan, but they will if I can't."

"How could anyone not want her?" Phoebe asked.

"So are you gunna keep her or what?" Joey asked.

Chandler shrugged.

"It's up to Monica. But I think she needs to at least stay here for tonight."

"Daddy, ready to be tucked in!" Megan called, peeking her head out of the guestroom door. Chandler smiled slightly and went into the room.

All of the four friends turned to face Monica, who was silent.

"So?" Rachel asked quietly a few moments later.

Monica silently nodded her head yes.