Chapter 2
A knock was heard in Sr. Ricardo's office. Ricardo swiveled around in his chair and slowly got up and walked over to the door and opened it. Outside it was his son, Carlos.
"Yes, Carlos, come in." Ricardo said
The older man outstretched his arm and showed Carlos to a chair at the front of his desk. Carlos, who was about 19 years old, sat down and didn't waste any time in discussing what he had heard.
"So, my sister is employing your help now. Never though I'd see the day." Carlos remarked
"She hasn't grown up too much, she's still a child. A child has no respect for anything." Ricardo scorned
"And what was it she was saying about Public Television?" Carlos inquired
"Oh, that, her great idea. She has her own little PBS show she runs that teaches children shapes and numbers and bullshit like that. The thing is, Public Television is about to cancel her contract because she's about to get evicted from her place on Sesame Street. Thus, when she moves somewhere else it would be different people, different place and kids wouldn't like that they changed it and it probably wouldn't be as good anyway. She came to me so she wouldn't get evicted."
"And how are you going to manage that, Padre?"
"I've been reading up on this evictions. They are wrong and they are displacing many people from that area of town. Of course, things like these are never negotiated quietly. If I want to get this done I have to go to the source."
"And that is?" Carlos asked
"This one big shot. He's in charge of a lot of the changes that Sesame Street will be undergoing from buildings, to more businesses, and, once my ideas are implemented, a port."
"A port? Feeling nostalgic, are we Padre?"
"Quite, but let's never mind that right now. I want to get this finished soon enough so that Maria will be happy and I can get back to work. Carlos, do you still have the number for Bert and Ernie?"
"Yes, but why would you need those two?"
"Don't worry about why worry about giving me the number." Ricardo retorted
"Si, Padre." Carlos replied and strolled out of the room only a reemerge a moment later with a small black book.
"Gracias, Carlos. You can go now."
"Hasta luego, Padre." Carlos said and kissed his father on the hand in reverence.
After Carlos had left the room and shut the door behind him Ricardo began to flip through the little black book until he came upon Bert and Ernie's number. He immediately picked up the phone and called them.
Bert was standing at a snack cart on the sidewalk. He ordered a burger and a coke. At the moment Ernie was taking care of some business at one of the cafes on Sesame Street. The thing was, Bert and Ernie were freelancers. At the moment, Ernie was acting as a shylock. The owner owed a loan shark a couple of Gs and Ernie was just who the loan shark called in to do his dirty work for him. In no time at all Ernie appeared next to Bert with a suitcase in hand.
"I trust everything went well." Bert asked
"It went just fine." Ernie answered while taking a cigarette out of the pack in his pocket
"No one lost any blood this time did they, Ernie?" Bert glanced at his orange partner
"Look, Bert, just cause I went off that one time doesn't mean every time I take a job a substantial amount of violence will be involved." Ernie exclaimed, unlit cigarette in his mouth
"Well you got the money. That's the important thing."
"Damn right it is."
Bert took a cell phone out of his pocket and began to dial a number. Ernie lit his cigarette while Bert was using the phone. Eventually a voice came on the other end of the line.
"Hello?" the voice said
"Yeah, this is Bert. I got the money."
"Were there any... problems?"
"None at all. It's kosher. Chicken soup."
"Very good. Go to the park at exactly noon and wait for one of the payphones to ring. Answer it. You'll get further instructions then."
And then the voice hung up. Bert slapped the cell phone closed. Ernie, now facing the opposite way of Bert, looked over his shoulder at him. Bert looked rather frustrated.
"What happened?" Ernie asked
"I don't like this at all." Bert remarked under his breath
Ernie still heard what he said, despite it being under his breath, "Well, what the fuck happened?"
Bert paused for a second, "What time you got?"
"What the fuck does that have to do with anything?"
"Just tell me. Jesus, I swear, you are the hardest person to talk to."
"It's 11:15. Happy, dickhead?"
"Yeah, how far is it to the park?"
"Why don't you tell me what was the thing with the guy on the phone."
"We're supposed to be at the park at noon exactly with the money so we can answer a pay phone that's gonna ring." Bert recapped
"That sounds like a setup." Ernie rationalized
"I realized that. Now, how far is it to the park?"
"A few blocks."
"Alright, in that case..." Bert started but was cut off by his ringing phone
Bert opened the phone again and raised the antenna.
"Hello?"
"Hello, this is... Bert right?" the voice on the other end asked
"Yeah, who wants to know?"
"This is Sr. Ricardo. I have heard good things about you and your partner. And the fact is, I have a job for you I think you'll be interested in. I don't pay shabby either."
Bert took a second to relay and understand all the information. He had only heard about Sr. Ricardo, never met him. He was supposed to be a crime boss, heavy in guns, drugs, gambling and ect.
"I'm interested, Senor. However, at the moment I am in the middle of another job. It shouldn't take long, though. Is this an urgent situation?" inquired Bert
"Oh, no no. Not at all. I would, however, appreciate it getting done sometime today. Just finish your other job first then come by, no rush."
"Alright, Senor, is there a number I can reach you at?"
"Of course, I can be reached at 555-9909. I hope to hear from you soon."
Ricardo hung up. Ernie was still standing off to the side, smoking his cigarette and listening in on Bert's conversation.
"So what was that all about?" Ernie questioned
"We got more work after we finish our current job."
"And that's... a good thing." Ernie remarked laughing, "C'mon, it's already 11:25. Let's try and get down to the park before noon so we won't be late."
"You're finally thinking sensibly."
Bert and Ernie then began strolling down the blocks to the park. Every once in a while they would see a guy in a trench coat or someone with sunglasses on and they would instinctively reach for their guns nestled safely in shoulder holsters under their jackets. They were sure it was going to be a setup. They wanted to be ready. Eventually they arrived at the park. It was about 11:49. Bert eyed the only row of pay phones in the park. He was looking for anything suspicious about them... Nothing. There was no one in the park who looked suspicious either, just kids playing and owners walking their dogs. Ernie lazily sat at a bench smoking a cigarette and carrying the briefcase full of cash. Minutes passed by. Finally, noon rolled around. Bert was standing near the pay phones impatiently. No one was coming near the pay phones so he didn't have to worry about missing the call. He checked his watch. The second hand moved slowly toward the top of the clock about to be 12:00 right on the button. The second it was noon one of the phones rang. Bert quickly picked up the phone and put the receiver to his ear.
"Hello?"
"Ah, good, you made it." The voice on the other end answered
"Well? What now?"
"On the bottom of that phone I taped some instructions for you. Follow them. You'll find yourself at an apartment building. Go to room 401. Knock on the door three times."
"And then what?" Bert questioned, not liking this situation at all
"You and I will have a friendly exchange of cash."
"Alright. I'll see you then."
"Good bye, Bert."
"One more thing..." Bert started
"Yes...?"
"You fuck this up in any way... You double cross us and I swear I'll have your balls, you got me?"
"Such language." The voice remarked and then hung up
Bert slammed the phone back down.
"Damnit!" he exclaimed
"What happened?" Ernie came over from his place at the bench
"We have another errand to run..." Bert murmured while taking the instructions off the bottom of the phone
"What the hell are those?" Ernie eyed the piece of paper
"Instructions to our new drop off point."
"Peachy."
And so, once again, Bert and Ernie were walking block after monotonous block just to get rid of a briefcase full of money. They were walking into the high-rise part of town after a few blocks. You know, the part of town that has an insane amount of high-rise apartments. They found the one that the directions pointed to. Outside the door was a doorbell box like you see on most big apartment buildings. Bert scanned down the list until he saw room 401. The name next to the number was "Hoot". Suddenly Bert became enraged. His hands clenched and he ran into the building with Ernie, wondering what the hell was going on, close behind. Bert stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the fourth floor rapidly.
"What the hell is your problem?" Ernie panted from having to run to keep up with Bert
"He's been playing me." Bert mumbled
"Who?"
"He just wanted to see me fall right into his trap."
"WHO?!" Ernie yelled
The elevator reached the fourth floor and Bert wasted no time in hopping out of the car. He drew his Beretta from under his coat, snapped the clip in place and took off the safety. Ernie pulled out his Colt .45 and did the same. They walked down the hall in a beeline until they arrived at room 401.
"Alright... let's do it!" Ernie said rather enthusiastically.
Ernie always loved jobs when they could go in, guns blazing like some Rambo wanna-be. However, Bert knew better in this case. Bert pulled Ernie away from the door and stood to the right of it. From the side he knocked on the door. Right as he pulled his hand away shotgun blasts ripped through the wooden door and into the wall opposite it. Ernie was wide-eyed and Bert was keeping his cool. He saw the gaping holes in the door. He heard the footsteps about to check and see if there were two dead corpses outside. He would use these to his advantage. The footsteps got closer and closer until they were almost at the door. At that moment Bert sidestepped in front of the door and fired four rounds through the hole in the door. A scream and then Ernie and Bert busted in the room.
Inside was a normal apartment... or at least what a normal apartment would look like if there were a dead corpse in the middle of it. The man lay on the carpet bleeding from his stomach, his shirt a dark red color. Three other men were in the room. Ernie saw one to the left in an armchair wide-eyed like a motherfucker. After a massive delay the man reached for a revolver in the drawer. Ernie shot him once in the chest and he fell to the ground.
Another one was ready, however. He must have been the one that fired at the door because he held a 12-Guage square in his hands. Bert quickly dove behind the couch before the man could get off a shot. Ernie, erratically, fired at man before going behind the armchair of the hesitant man. Bert popped up from behind the couch when he though the time was right and emptied his clip on the man with the shotgun. Blood splattered on the wall behind him as the bullets ripped through his torso. Bert snatched up the 12-Guage and cocked it. The last man was staring right at Bert with a measly Colt .45 in his hand. He didn't want to die like his comrades. He then turned toward the window and jumped out. Free fall four stories. Bert and Ernie gazed out the window to see the bloody mess he became upon impact.
Suddenly a strange gurgling sound was heard. Bert's head whirled around to see the guy Ernie had shot once in the chest. Bert ran over to him and grabbed his bloodstained shirt by the collar.
"Who hired you?!" Bert yelled at the dieing man
The man coughed blood on Bert's shirt. Bert kept yelling at him but the man just kept bleeding. Suddenly, he began to smile.
"You'll never beat him." The man choked out
"WHO?! HOOT?!" Bert screamed
"I'm already dead... And you will be soon..."
The man began what seemed like a laugh but when someone coughing up blood starts laughing it begins to look more like convulsing in pain. Finally the man stopped moving all together. Bert let the man fall to the ground. He looked at his bloodstained hands and then looked back at the man. He grabbed up his Berretta that he had dropped on the ground earlier and loaded a new clip into it. He cocked it and unloaded two rounds into the dead man's head. Ernie looked at him quizzically. Bert glanced over his shoulder to his comrade.
"Never take any chances." Bert said
Bert took the case from Ernie and walked out of the carnage that used to be a hotel room.
"Hey, Bert, where we goin'?" Ernie questioned
"To go and talk to Ricardo." Bert answered