SORRY THIS CHAPTER SUCKS AGAIN! HOPEFULLY YOU ENJOY IT
DICLAIMER: I own nothing, NBC and what have you do so no one sue me :)
SUMMARY: Bosco's traumatic flashbacks puts his life in danger...this takes place after Falling but Bosco never went and spoke to Faith. So basically it's still all inside him and keeps getting worse.
SPOLIERS: Up to Falling
NOTES: This is my first fic and I know it sucks. So please review! Could someone please post this at 3rdwatch.net for me coz I can't join up. Thanks in advance
This is for Bee, TWJ, Ness, CCA (my inspiration), Michelle, Paisley & Thumper
"How is he?" Swersky asked after closing the door behind Faith. Faith tilted her head slightly before taking a seat. Honestly she had no idea what to say, Any one thing she said could be the end. Swersky sat opposite Faith waiting for an answer.
"He'll be good for work next week."
"Otherwise?"
"Ok I guess...but he's been fine all week. It's like he's alive again and not just going through the motions."
"You sounded a bit doubtful."
"No I meant what I said...I just think that maybe more went on tonight then he's admitting." Faith said feeling guilty. Bosco and her were finally on good terms again and she didn't want to risk losing that again. She didn't want to go through that pain again.
"Alright. We'll see what happens tomorrow and if he's clear...he's clear. After that just keep an eye on him but there will be no need for all this." Swersky said as he stood up again.
"Both eyes Lieu." Faith said smiling before leaving. Things were going to get better from here on in. Things can only get better. Swersky felt relieved. Boscorelli was one of his best officers and didn't want to lose him. It had been so hard to see Bosco like that. Things were going to be different now. It would be better.
A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER
2 days. It's been a whole 2 days. It's unbelievable. I haven't felt so relaxed in such a long time. Everything is the way it used to be, there's no more blood, no more blood. I haven't had any more memories in 2 days. I can't get over it. Back on duty again today. The old Bosco is back. Not the other one..no he's gone now. 2 days...he has to be gone. The bathroom is a mess but it will be clean. Everything can be cleaned now. I look around at all the empty pill bottles and shudder. Maybe this will be the end of it all. Now I can live again live without the panic and fear. Next door the TV is blearing. Out in the hallways there are people shouting. It's amazing how much you notice when you're not concentrating solely on your thoughts. There's so much going on. If you don't pay attention you miss it. I don't want to miss half the stuff. I don't want to, now I won't. Now I'm better. I'm fine! I really am fine this time. Looking in the mirror I realise I could do with a shave. So I go about preparing myself. The floor feels cold. Everything feels cold. Outside the sun is shining brightly. The rays penetrate the glass shining off the table. Why do I feel so cold? 1:45pm. It should be hot in here...not cold. The TV is still blearing. The voices in the hallway continue to rise. Anger boiling up inside of them. Hey I'm fine. I'm fine. The phone rings. The sound echoing through my empty apartment. The machine can get it. Looking in the mirror again I see something that shouldn't be there. My ma is there, how did she get there? The TV isn't blearing anymore, there's no voices. The sun doesn't appear so bright anymore the rays have given way to the darkness. It's beginning to get dark. It's getting colder, so cold. My mom is still there staring at me. There is blood running down her face and arms. Her skin is blue and purple from all the bruises. My dad he's hurting her. I let him in the window again. It's my fault, my fault. Her arms reach out towards me, screams erupt from her mouth. Now she's speaking, I can't hear her, all I can focus on is the blood. Blood is all around me. This isn't real. This is not real. Her arms continue to reach for me trying to pull me in. Make me touch the blood I drew. Make me feel her pain. The touch of her frail bloody hands makes me jump. The razor tears down my cheek ripping off the skin. Instantly blood begins to ooze out. Blood. Just what I need, more blood to haunt my mind. In the mirror there is no one. My ma isn't there. There's just me. There's only me. I'm alone again. Frustrated I wash my face, cringing as the water pours into my wound. It's a pretty deep cut. A lot of force had been applied. Never have I seen such a horrid image. 2 days it had been, that had to have meant something. Why? I really thought I was fine this time. I mean I really believed it especially after the 2 days. 2 days and nothing now it's back. Now the heat is rising. The sun is shining brightly through the window again. The TV is blearing. The blood is still there. Knowing very well that I will need help to last through the day I start raiding the bathroom cupboard for the pills. This will remain a mess again now. It won't be cleaned. The blood will remain...and with the blood the memories. Angrily I push aside the objects not worthy of my attention. There's none there. They can't possibly all be gone I only got them the other day. Once again rip apart the cupboard searching for anything that could be useful. Nothing. No way. I look into the mirror again. There's two people looking back at me. There's me the bloody me and then there's me how I used to be. Both of them are staring t me. Trying to pull me towards them. I know they way I want to go, but I can't get there. Defeated and angry I raise my fist and smash it into the mirror. There would be too reminders. The mirror will only be another reminder. Smiling slightly with satisfaction I watch as shards of glass fall to the ground. Falling, just like Hobart. They fall. Some of the stained with my blood. My blood's falling. There's a slight sensation of pain in my hand, but I ignore it, just like I ignore the blood on my face. So much blood. The kitchen, that's tight the kitchen. Hoping for the best I head to the kitchen. Out on the street the cars are roaring by, not stopping for anything. Not stopping. My mind never stops. Every now and then a horn sounds. The TV is still going strong, the shouting has stopped. My mind won't stop. On the table sits a bottle. The bottle I've been looking for. It could be my imagination but it almost looks like the sun is surrounding it like a halo. Making it glow. Making look like treasure. My shaking hands struggle to pop the lid open but once they do I pour a large handful out on the table. Much more than the recommended intake. Normally I wouldn't do this before work but it seems like I have no other choice today. Grabbing the near by beer I guzzle down the pills. The beer tasted like blood. The blood from my face that's it. Blood. 2:25pm. Where did the time go?
"You really are a crazy son of a bitch."
Trying to ignore the voice in my head I race out of the apartment. The blood still coming from my face and hand. The blood never stops.
The apartment is now empty and still. It's a mess. Empty alcohol and medicine bottles are lying all about the place. All over kitchen, in the bedroom, in the bathroom. They don't stop. There's a few dirty clothes lying around as well. No dirty dishes. They're the only thing that stays clean these days. It's like the owner doesn't care anymore. It used be tidy, things never used to get this bad. Never this bad when the owner didn't have this problem. Those pills. They were the wrong ones. The only ones left though. They make you drowsy, not a good thing for a police officer to be taking while on duty.......
"Is Bosco here yet?" Faith asked returning to the locker room for the 3rd time. Sully and Davis smiled at each other. Things were definitely back to normal around here. Normal is good.
"No for the third time." Sully said being a smart arse. Faith just laughed at Sully. It feels like it used. Everything how it used to be. The smart arse exchanges the lateness. It's so nice. Even the sun was shining brightly on this day. The day of normality. The locker room door opened with a loud bang and Davis expected to see Christopher appear but was very surprised to see Bosco. Bosco looked like a wreck. The wrong pills. I took the wrong goddamn pills. They've already hit me, I haven't started and I can barely keep my eyes open. A few people glance at me strangely as I walk by but I chose to ignore them. Don't want to be late now.
"Have a rough night Bos?" Sully teased laughing at Bosco's frazzled look. Faith wandered over closer to the boys to watch. Ah looks like it's all back to normal. Sully kept laughing at his joke expecting a smart comment to be made by Bosco and was surprised not to get one. Faith walked over to Bosco smiling. Just like the good old days. I know they're waiting for me to say something. I don't want to speak. I just want to get out of here. Get them all off my back. They all act so happy. They all act like nothing has ever happened. Don't they even care. Hobart and Ross died. They act so happy like it never happened. Well it did and they need to show it. They just act so wrong. It's just wrong. I'm almost changed. I can do this. I can do this.
"Oh my god Bosco! What happened to your hand!"
My hand? Oh yes the mirror, who could forget. Boy that was a memorable experience. I turn slightly to look at my hand. I'd totally forgotten about it. The blood is dry now, but it looks pretty torn up. Nice work. Faith gasps again.
"And your face!"
My face? My face, the blood, the mirror. This is way out of control. I shouldn't have come into today. They'll tell Swersky. No don't do it. Pretend...pretend.
"Vicious one was she?" Davis says walking towards me with Sully hot on his heels. Now they're all staring at me. No more smart remarks. All they can do is stare. I'm so tired of people staring at me. I'm not crazy! I'm fine. Stop staring.
"What happened?" Sully asked beginning to sound a little worried. I don't need you to worry about me. I don't need it. If you get involved in my life you die. The blood will touch you. The Boscorelli curse. I don't need help. I can do this.
"I don't know." I reply speeding up. Just leave me alone. I can't handle this anymore.
"Bosco they look pretty deep, you should really get them checked out" Faith said moving slightly closer towards me. That's it. No more. I can take no more.
"Stop mothering me Faith. I already have a mom in case you've forgotten. She may be pretty screwed up but she's my mom...you're not." I say angrily saying more than I had intended too. Around me a few people snigger or gasp with shock. Sully tenses up and Davis steps back slightly.
"Bos...I...I didn't..." Faith begins sadly.
"I can look after myself Faith. I don't need people watching me 24/7." I yell even more angrily. I slam my locker and storm out of the room. Behind me there are some confused people, staring as usual. I feel terrible for what I've just done. I can't let her help me she can't know. No one can know. I can't handle this much longer...sooner or later I'm going to end up dead.
In the rush and fury of everything Bosco forgot to do something really important. In all the confusion he forgot to do something that could ultimately save his life. His vest wasn't put on. His vest.
TBC......IN TIME!! SORRY IT MAY BE A WHILE COZ I'LL BE BUSY THE NEXT FEW DAYS :( SORRY THIS SUCKED AGAIN.....
DICLAIMER: I own nothing, NBC and what have you do so no one sue me :)
SUMMARY: Bosco's traumatic flashbacks puts his life in danger...this takes place after Falling but Bosco never went and spoke to Faith. So basically it's still all inside him and keeps getting worse.
SPOLIERS: Up to Falling
NOTES: This is my first fic and I know it sucks. So please review! Could someone please post this at 3rdwatch.net for me coz I can't join up. Thanks in advance
This is for Bee, TWJ, Ness, CCA (my inspiration), Michelle, Paisley & Thumper
"How is he?" Swersky asked after closing the door behind Faith. Faith tilted her head slightly before taking a seat. Honestly she had no idea what to say, Any one thing she said could be the end. Swersky sat opposite Faith waiting for an answer.
"He'll be good for work next week."
"Otherwise?"
"Ok I guess...but he's been fine all week. It's like he's alive again and not just going through the motions."
"You sounded a bit doubtful."
"No I meant what I said...I just think that maybe more went on tonight then he's admitting." Faith said feeling guilty. Bosco and her were finally on good terms again and she didn't want to risk losing that again. She didn't want to go through that pain again.
"Alright. We'll see what happens tomorrow and if he's clear...he's clear. After that just keep an eye on him but there will be no need for all this." Swersky said as he stood up again.
"Both eyes Lieu." Faith said smiling before leaving. Things were going to get better from here on in. Things can only get better. Swersky felt relieved. Boscorelli was one of his best officers and didn't want to lose him. It had been so hard to see Bosco like that. Things were going to be different now. It would be better.
A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER
2 days. It's been a whole 2 days. It's unbelievable. I haven't felt so relaxed in such a long time. Everything is the way it used to be, there's no more blood, no more blood. I haven't had any more memories in 2 days. I can't get over it. Back on duty again today. The old Bosco is back. Not the other one..no he's gone now. 2 days...he has to be gone. The bathroom is a mess but it will be clean. Everything can be cleaned now. I look around at all the empty pill bottles and shudder. Maybe this will be the end of it all. Now I can live again live without the panic and fear. Next door the TV is blearing. Out in the hallways there are people shouting. It's amazing how much you notice when you're not concentrating solely on your thoughts. There's so much going on. If you don't pay attention you miss it. I don't want to miss half the stuff. I don't want to, now I won't. Now I'm better. I'm fine! I really am fine this time. Looking in the mirror I realise I could do with a shave. So I go about preparing myself. The floor feels cold. Everything feels cold. Outside the sun is shining brightly. The rays penetrate the glass shining off the table. Why do I feel so cold? 1:45pm. It should be hot in here...not cold. The TV is still blearing. The voices in the hallway continue to rise. Anger boiling up inside of them. Hey I'm fine. I'm fine. The phone rings. The sound echoing through my empty apartment. The machine can get it. Looking in the mirror again I see something that shouldn't be there. My ma is there, how did she get there? The TV isn't blearing anymore, there's no voices. The sun doesn't appear so bright anymore the rays have given way to the darkness. It's beginning to get dark. It's getting colder, so cold. My mom is still there staring at me. There is blood running down her face and arms. Her skin is blue and purple from all the bruises. My dad he's hurting her. I let him in the window again. It's my fault, my fault. Her arms reach out towards me, screams erupt from her mouth. Now she's speaking, I can't hear her, all I can focus on is the blood. Blood is all around me. This isn't real. This is not real. Her arms continue to reach for me trying to pull me in. Make me touch the blood I drew. Make me feel her pain. The touch of her frail bloody hands makes me jump. The razor tears down my cheek ripping off the skin. Instantly blood begins to ooze out. Blood. Just what I need, more blood to haunt my mind. In the mirror there is no one. My ma isn't there. There's just me. There's only me. I'm alone again. Frustrated I wash my face, cringing as the water pours into my wound. It's a pretty deep cut. A lot of force had been applied. Never have I seen such a horrid image. 2 days it had been, that had to have meant something. Why? I really thought I was fine this time. I mean I really believed it especially after the 2 days. 2 days and nothing now it's back. Now the heat is rising. The sun is shining brightly through the window again. The TV is blearing. The blood is still there. Knowing very well that I will need help to last through the day I start raiding the bathroom cupboard for the pills. This will remain a mess again now. It won't be cleaned. The blood will remain...and with the blood the memories. Angrily I push aside the objects not worthy of my attention. There's none there. They can't possibly all be gone I only got them the other day. Once again rip apart the cupboard searching for anything that could be useful. Nothing. No way. I look into the mirror again. There's two people looking back at me. There's me the bloody me and then there's me how I used to be. Both of them are staring t me. Trying to pull me towards them. I know they way I want to go, but I can't get there. Defeated and angry I raise my fist and smash it into the mirror. There would be too reminders. The mirror will only be another reminder. Smiling slightly with satisfaction I watch as shards of glass fall to the ground. Falling, just like Hobart. They fall. Some of the stained with my blood. My blood's falling. There's a slight sensation of pain in my hand, but I ignore it, just like I ignore the blood on my face. So much blood. The kitchen, that's tight the kitchen. Hoping for the best I head to the kitchen. Out on the street the cars are roaring by, not stopping for anything. Not stopping. My mind never stops. Every now and then a horn sounds. The TV is still going strong, the shouting has stopped. My mind won't stop. On the table sits a bottle. The bottle I've been looking for. It could be my imagination but it almost looks like the sun is surrounding it like a halo. Making it glow. Making look like treasure. My shaking hands struggle to pop the lid open but once they do I pour a large handful out on the table. Much more than the recommended intake. Normally I wouldn't do this before work but it seems like I have no other choice today. Grabbing the near by beer I guzzle down the pills. The beer tasted like blood. The blood from my face that's it. Blood. 2:25pm. Where did the time go?
"You really are a crazy son of a bitch."
Trying to ignore the voice in my head I race out of the apartment. The blood still coming from my face and hand. The blood never stops.
The apartment is now empty and still. It's a mess. Empty alcohol and medicine bottles are lying all about the place. All over kitchen, in the bedroom, in the bathroom. They don't stop. There's a few dirty clothes lying around as well. No dirty dishes. They're the only thing that stays clean these days. It's like the owner doesn't care anymore. It used be tidy, things never used to get this bad. Never this bad when the owner didn't have this problem. Those pills. They were the wrong ones. The only ones left though. They make you drowsy, not a good thing for a police officer to be taking while on duty.......
"Is Bosco here yet?" Faith asked returning to the locker room for the 3rd time. Sully and Davis smiled at each other. Things were definitely back to normal around here. Normal is good.
"No for the third time." Sully said being a smart arse. Faith just laughed at Sully. It feels like it used. Everything how it used to be. The smart arse exchanges the lateness. It's so nice. Even the sun was shining brightly on this day. The day of normality. The locker room door opened with a loud bang and Davis expected to see Christopher appear but was very surprised to see Bosco. Bosco looked like a wreck. The wrong pills. I took the wrong goddamn pills. They've already hit me, I haven't started and I can barely keep my eyes open. A few people glance at me strangely as I walk by but I chose to ignore them. Don't want to be late now.
"Have a rough night Bos?" Sully teased laughing at Bosco's frazzled look. Faith wandered over closer to the boys to watch. Ah looks like it's all back to normal. Sully kept laughing at his joke expecting a smart comment to be made by Bosco and was surprised not to get one. Faith walked over to Bosco smiling. Just like the good old days. I know they're waiting for me to say something. I don't want to speak. I just want to get out of here. Get them all off my back. They all act so happy. They all act like nothing has ever happened. Don't they even care. Hobart and Ross died. They act so happy like it never happened. Well it did and they need to show it. They just act so wrong. It's just wrong. I'm almost changed. I can do this. I can do this.
"Oh my god Bosco! What happened to your hand!"
My hand? Oh yes the mirror, who could forget. Boy that was a memorable experience. I turn slightly to look at my hand. I'd totally forgotten about it. The blood is dry now, but it looks pretty torn up. Nice work. Faith gasps again.
"And your face!"
My face? My face, the blood, the mirror. This is way out of control. I shouldn't have come into today. They'll tell Swersky. No don't do it. Pretend...pretend.
"Vicious one was she?" Davis says walking towards me with Sully hot on his heels. Now they're all staring at me. No more smart remarks. All they can do is stare. I'm so tired of people staring at me. I'm not crazy! I'm fine. Stop staring.
"What happened?" Sully asked beginning to sound a little worried. I don't need you to worry about me. I don't need it. If you get involved in my life you die. The blood will touch you. The Boscorelli curse. I don't need help. I can do this.
"I don't know." I reply speeding up. Just leave me alone. I can't handle this anymore.
"Bosco they look pretty deep, you should really get them checked out" Faith said moving slightly closer towards me. That's it. No more. I can take no more.
"Stop mothering me Faith. I already have a mom in case you've forgotten. She may be pretty screwed up but she's my mom...you're not." I say angrily saying more than I had intended too. Around me a few people snigger or gasp with shock. Sully tenses up and Davis steps back slightly.
"Bos...I...I didn't..." Faith begins sadly.
"I can look after myself Faith. I don't need people watching me 24/7." I yell even more angrily. I slam my locker and storm out of the room. Behind me there are some confused people, staring as usual. I feel terrible for what I've just done. I can't let her help me she can't know. No one can know. I can't handle this much longer...sooner or later I'm going to end up dead.
In the rush and fury of everything Bosco forgot to do something really important. In all the confusion he forgot to do something that could ultimately save his life. His vest wasn't put on. His vest.
TBC......IN TIME!! SORRY IT MAY BE A WHILE COZ I'LL BE BUSY THE NEXT FEW DAYS :( SORRY THIS SUCKED AGAIN.....