Hey, I updated on time! *^_^* I had a lot of time this weekend, being
grounded and all. ()-_- I also saw The Ring so there's also that whole
physically unable to sleep factor. o_0;;; So I was able to spit out a super-
long chapter for you all! They just keep getting longer and longer and that
makes me happy! *^_^*
Thank you once again to all my reviewers, I don't think you can imagine how greatful I am to all of you, your comments mean so much to me! Especially to ThingBling, my wonderfully enthusiastic reviewer, you're so sweet to review all my chapters at once, it was a nice self-esteem boost! *^_~* And to answer your question, I'd love to be a writer one day, in fact, my dream is to work on one of the Final Fantasy games at Squaresoft, I would just love that so much! *^_^* . I'm in a smiley mood today, can you tell? *^_^*
-Chapter Two-
And so days and even weeks passed, and Garnet slowly became more and more distant from Zidane.
"You aren't good enough from him."
Garnet was afraid of telling him the truth.
"He's going to find out sometime, and when he does, how is he going to react?"
She didn't want anything bad to happen. She would avoid the subject at all costs.
"You know, if he knows, he might not love you anymore."
She never wanted that to happen.
~*~*~*~
Zidane peered into the slightly open door of the military conference room. The person who he was looking for, as expected, was there. He knocked briskly, to be polite and entered when he heard the lower, feminine voice say, "It's open."
Beatrix sat at the far end of the conference table, surrounded by papers strewn about around her. She finished her sentence and her face became soft once she saw Zidane. He nervously walked over to where she was sitting, hands behind his back, tail swishing back and forth. Once seated, he said nothing, almost as if he was comprehending what to say but the words weren't forming. Beatrix gave a friendly smile.
"Zidane, are you okay?" His hands kneaded in his lap. ".Zidane?" He stayed silent for a while longer and then he asked.
"What's wrong with Dagger." It was said more as a statement then a question, it demanded an answer. The smile fell from the general's face and she felt tears forming. Quickly, she blinked them back, and played innocent.
"What do you mean?" Zidane turned towards her, anger clearly burning in his eyes.
"Beatrix, don't act dumb with me. I know you know what's going on with her." He was holding back his emotions, she could tell.
She looked down. "I don't know what you're talking about." Zidane was becoming infuriated.
"Yes, you do! You're her best friend, of course you know! She's been acting strange, different than before." Zidane pleaded with her. "Please, tell me what I can do to help.. I'm worried, I love her so much... I don't want anything bad to be happening to her."
"Then why don't you ask her yourself?"
"I can't do that."
"Why not?"
"I don't know, I just can't." Beatrix got up and walked over to one of the strategy boards.
"Zidane, a lot happened while you were gone. you'll have to talk to her about it. It's best if you hear it directly from her."
"But what if she won't tell me?"
"She will, don't worry, it's not her nature to keep things from the one she loves."
~*~*~*~
Garnet's body slumped against the wall and slowly descended to the floor. She held her face in her hands, moving them backwards through her hair and placed behind her neck. Chocolate eyes gazed up at the ceiling. What was she going to tell him now; she didn't want to tell him about what had happened. But she had to. She leaned slightly over from her seated position to see if they were still talking. When the familiar noise of a sliding chair was heard, Garnet popped up and moved around the corner, pretending that she wasn't listening. She walked down the long corridor, not really sure of where she was going. Merely operating on autopilot until her brain could sort everything out. It was supposed to be a thing of the past, something that Garnet would just have to get over. It was supposed to go away.
"But it never will." Garnet looked around for the source of the voice, even though she recognized it clearly. This time, she would not be manipulated.
"Go away." She simply stated, continuing down the hallway, as if she could walk away from it.
"I see we're in a bad mood today." The voice laughed, seeming to take great pleasure in seeing Garnet suffer.
"Yes, that is quite true, now would you mind not bothering me?" Garnet couldn't believe that she was trying to have a rational conversation with it.
"Yes, your highness, I shall stop for now, but you do know that I enjoy you so, don't think I'll leave you alone for too long." Another laugh sounded and Garnet instantly felt a hollow space inside of her, causing a surge of emotions to course through her. She was unable to entertain her emotions though, for a pair of muscular arms wrapped around her torso. A small cry escaped her lips and quickly they spread into a large smile. All her worries melted away, she was only filled with a wonderful warmth.
"I caught you." Zidane tried to smell her hair without her noticing, she giggled, of course she always noticed. He nuzzled his face against her and kissed down the side of her neck. "I love you." Even though she pushed the thoughts down, she knew why he was this way with her all of a sudden. He needed to have reassurance, for both of them. She didn't want to hurt him, she didn't mean to, but she just wasn't ready to tell him yet. She turned her head towards Zidane to kiss him, but they were both startled by loud clanking that could only be pegged to Steiner. Zidane grabbed Garnet's hand and pulled her into the nearest doorway, which happened to be the Weaponry Room. She let out a laugh.
"Only you would choose the room with all the weapons." He took a step back.
"Hey! I didn't plan it this way." He paused. "And do you mean to tell me that you don't find spears, swords and other weapons of mass destruction romantic?" He faked despair. "I thought I knew you." He grabbed the Mythril Spear next to him and pretended to take consolence in it. "Can you believe it?" He asked the spear. "You don't turn her on in the slightest." Garnet in turn grabbed a Rod off the wall, looped it around his waist and yanked him towards her, causing him to drop the spear and hold onto her. She leaned forward, lips barely brushing his ear.
"Oh, but you do." A chill went up Zidane's spine and Garnet leaned back. Their mouths met quickly, a heated passion was building inside both of them. It wasn't long before Zidane's fingers found the buttons on the back of her dress.
"Remember what happened last time? You shouldn't do this" She mentally told the voice to shut up. Zidane grabbed a tent off of one of the shelves and lay it down on the ground. She joined him down on the spread out fabric. He knew that look.
"What's wrong?"
"Should we be doing this?"
"Good girl." The voice praised her.
"We don't have to." She traced the trim on his vest.
"But I want to."
"I don't understand, Dagger."
"Forget it."
"No, really, what is it?"
"It's not that important."
"Are you sure?" Garnet gave a quick nod, but almost immediately slowed.
"What if something comes of this?" Zidane understood.
"I'd be okay with that. I wouldn't mind. would you?" She thought back over the last two years. When she was pregnant, she was almost, excited to have the baby. It was something that she always wanted. But did she still want it now? Should she tell him about what happened?
The voice commanded. "Garnet, don't you dare."
"No, I wouldn't." They slowly made love to each other, very gently, each afraid to hurt the other. They continued for an unknown amount of time, but from exhaustion, Zidane fell asleep. Garnet couldn't though. There was that voice penetrating through her brain. "You whore." it insulted her. "It's not time yet. You really should start listening to me."
~*~*~*~
"What have I done?" Tears welled up in the confused Queen's eyes. Her second thoughts were overwhelming her. She knew that she was pregnant again, even though it had only been a day, she could feel it inside of her. 'No,' she told herself, 'this'll be good for you. You'll stop dwelling on the past.' The past. Zidane still didn't know. He knew none of it. 'What if it happened again?' She clenched her stomach in freight. 'What if I lose this one too?' She ran up the stairs and shut her bedroom door, hiding under the safety of her covers. She hid from the voice, the one that never stopped. Never left her alone. The one that told her to, "Enjoy it, while it lasts."
~*~*~*~
Zidane crawled in under the covers of the bed he shared with his beloved Dagger. He wrapped his arms around her resting frame and held her close against him. When he received no response, he became concerned. "Dagger? Are you okay?" In his embrace, she began to tremble slightly. "Dagger?" She twisted to face him, her cheeks flushed from tears. She grasped onto him as tightly as possible, softly crying into his chest. He stroked her hair, unsure of what to do. "What is it? Dagger, what's wrong? What happened?" He panicked; she was crying and he didn't know why. She squeezed her hands tightly on his shirt, crumpling the material.
"It's just." she began. "I mean, I." She pulled away slightly, to look him in the eye. "I don't know how I'm going to tell you this."
"Tell me what?" His eyes pleaded with her, but at the same time, were fearful of what she had to say.
"Zidane," she took a deep breath in. "Do you remember that time at the Black Mage Village?" Suddenly Zidane's face broke out into shock, he knew. There was no other possibility. He nodded in agreement, not voicing his thoughts in hopes that they weren't true. "Something happened then, I guess we forgot about any possible outcomes of our actions." Now he knew that he was right. 'Oh my god.' Zidane's thoughts sped by him a million times an hour. 'I have a kid, but why haven't it seen it around? It. is it a him or a her? How old? Well probably no more than 18 months, oh god, I'm a dad.' Out of everything he thought, only two words came out.
"You mean.?"
"Yes Zidane, I was pregnant." Zidane felt his body paralyze in shock.
"You mean. we have a child?" His brain slowed down to attempt to rationally process the information. Once again, his voice was not working for him. "Where?" Even through his seemingly incomprehendable question, she knew what he meant.
"We. almost did." Garnet's eyes closed for a second, they were threatening to release more tears. She was not going to let herself lose her composure again. If she was going to tell him, she had to be as calm as possible. Zidane didn't understand.
"What do you mean. by almost?"
Her voice got low, nearly above a whisper, uttering the words she didn't want to believe. "I miscarried." Zidane didn't know what to do with himself. He felt like the scum of the world. 'First I get her pregnant, then I leave her, and then she miscarries our child. I'm such a terrible person.' He hugged her close to him.
"Dagger, I'm so sorry. I, I had no idea." She quietly cried into his chest. "I can't believe I left you. with. with. and you had to deal with it by yourself. I'm so sorry." Then his mind shot over to the day before. "Oh my god. That's what you were worried about. Dagger you should have told me. I feel terrible."
"Don't, Beatrix was really helpful, she took care of me during it all. Steiner seemed to keep his distance, I don't think that he knew exactly what to do. Everyone, in general, had a shocked but understanding viewpoint. Baku was the only one that got mad."
".Baku knows?" Zidane's face was covered in worry.
"Yes, I just kind of told him, at your funeral. He said that we were irresponsible."
Zidane shifted uncomfortably. "I had a funeral?" She nodded.
"They searched for you for 3 months before finally ending the search. The cities had to be rebuilt and they couldn't spend any longer searching. The day I miscarried was the day they told me that they had pronounced you dead." A hollow pit filled Zidane's stomach.
"They said I was dead?"
"Apparently, there was no way that you could have been alive, they searched so many times all around the Iifa Tree and in the neighboring villages. They never found you. I didn't want to believe that you were dead. Zidane, if you hadn't come back, I would have made such a huge mistake."
"What do you mean?"
"I wanted to be with you so badly that, since I was then convinced that you were no longer alive, I would join you." Zidane squeezed her tighter. What she said had terrified him.
"Oh god Dagger, I've put you through so much." His eyes unwillingly began to shed tears of sorrow, dripping down onto Garnet. "I don't know how I'm going to, but I'm going to make it up to you. I'll make our time together from now on be better than either of us could have imagined. Dagger, I feel like such a horrible person, how could I have done this to you? I just want to make things better, I don't want you to hurt anymore. How can I do that?" Into his shoulder, she spoke.
"Just love me." She patted her stomach. "And our one on the way." The two lay there and cried together, both of them so hurt by the events of the past few years.
"I can do that. I'll always love you."
"Thank you."
"What are you thanking me for?" "For everything."
~*~*~*~
Two months later, Garnet miscarried again.
::dodges flying objects:: Please don't kill me! ::dodges more objects:: I'm sorry! I had to do it, it's crucial to the plot! ::gets beaned with a chair:: I'll try to get the next chapter up by Thursday? ::objects cease to fly:: It's almost the end of the quarter so I should have more time. Please review, thank you much! *^_^*
Thank you once again to all my reviewers, I don't think you can imagine how greatful I am to all of you, your comments mean so much to me! Especially to ThingBling, my wonderfully enthusiastic reviewer, you're so sweet to review all my chapters at once, it was a nice self-esteem boost! *^_~* And to answer your question, I'd love to be a writer one day, in fact, my dream is to work on one of the Final Fantasy games at Squaresoft, I would just love that so much! *^_^* . I'm in a smiley mood today, can you tell? *^_^*
-Chapter Two-
And so days and even weeks passed, and Garnet slowly became more and more distant from Zidane.
"You aren't good enough from him."
Garnet was afraid of telling him the truth.
"He's going to find out sometime, and when he does, how is he going to react?"
She didn't want anything bad to happen. She would avoid the subject at all costs.
"You know, if he knows, he might not love you anymore."
She never wanted that to happen.
~*~*~*~
Zidane peered into the slightly open door of the military conference room. The person who he was looking for, as expected, was there. He knocked briskly, to be polite and entered when he heard the lower, feminine voice say, "It's open."
Beatrix sat at the far end of the conference table, surrounded by papers strewn about around her. She finished her sentence and her face became soft once she saw Zidane. He nervously walked over to where she was sitting, hands behind his back, tail swishing back and forth. Once seated, he said nothing, almost as if he was comprehending what to say but the words weren't forming. Beatrix gave a friendly smile.
"Zidane, are you okay?" His hands kneaded in his lap. ".Zidane?" He stayed silent for a while longer and then he asked.
"What's wrong with Dagger." It was said more as a statement then a question, it demanded an answer. The smile fell from the general's face and she felt tears forming. Quickly, she blinked them back, and played innocent.
"What do you mean?" Zidane turned towards her, anger clearly burning in his eyes.
"Beatrix, don't act dumb with me. I know you know what's going on with her." He was holding back his emotions, she could tell.
She looked down. "I don't know what you're talking about." Zidane was becoming infuriated.
"Yes, you do! You're her best friend, of course you know! She's been acting strange, different than before." Zidane pleaded with her. "Please, tell me what I can do to help.. I'm worried, I love her so much... I don't want anything bad to be happening to her."
"Then why don't you ask her yourself?"
"I can't do that."
"Why not?"
"I don't know, I just can't." Beatrix got up and walked over to one of the strategy boards.
"Zidane, a lot happened while you were gone. you'll have to talk to her about it. It's best if you hear it directly from her."
"But what if she won't tell me?"
"She will, don't worry, it's not her nature to keep things from the one she loves."
~*~*~*~
Garnet's body slumped against the wall and slowly descended to the floor. She held her face in her hands, moving them backwards through her hair and placed behind her neck. Chocolate eyes gazed up at the ceiling. What was she going to tell him now; she didn't want to tell him about what had happened. But she had to. She leaned slightly over from her seated position to see if they were still talking. When the familiar noise of a sliding chair was heard, Garnet popped up and moved around the corner, pretending that she wasn't listening. She walked down the long corridor, not really sure of where she was going. Merely operating on autopilot until her brain could sort everything out. It was supposed to be a thing of the past, something that Garnet would just have to get over. It was supposed to go away.
"But it never will." Garnet looked around for the source of the voice, even though she recognized it clearly. This time, she would not be manipulated.
"Go away." She simply stated, continuing down the hallway, as if she could walk away from it.
"I see we're in a bad mood today." The voice laughed, seeming to take great pleasure in seeing Garnet suffer.
"Yes, that is quite true, now would you mind not bothering me?" Garnet couldn't believe that she was trying to have a rational conversation with it.
"Yes, your highness, I shall stop for now, but you do know that I enjoy you so, don't think I'll leave you alone for too long." Another laugh sounded and Garnet instantly felt a hollow space inside of her, causing a surge of emotions to course through her. She was unable to entertain her emotions though, for a pair of muscular arms wrapped around her torso. A small cry escaped her lips and quickly they spread into a large smile. All her worries melted away, she was only filled with a wonderful warmth.
"I caught you." Zidane tried to smell her hair without her noticing, she giggled, of course she always noticed. He nuzzled his face against her and kissed down the side of her neck. "I love you." Even though she pushed the thoughts down, she knew why he was this way with her all of a sudden. He needed to have reassurance, for both of them. She didn't want to hurt him, she didn't mean to, but she just wasn't ready to tell him yet. She turned her head towards Zidane to kiss him, but they were both startled by loud clanking that could only be pegged to Steiner. Zidane grabbed Garnet's hand and pulled her into the nearest doorway, which happened to be the Weaponry Room. She let out a laugh.
"Only you would choose the room with all the weapons." He took a step back.
"Hey! I didn't plan it this way." He paused. "And do you mean to tell me that you don't find spears, swords and other weapons of mass destruction romantic?" He faked despair. "I thought I knew you." He grabbed the Mythril Spear next to him and pretended to take consolence in it. "Can you believe it?" He asked the spear. "You don't turn her on in the slightest." Garnet in turn grabbed a Rod off the wall, looped it around his waist and yanked him towards her, causing him to drop the spear and hold onto her. She leaned forward, lips barely brushing his ear.
"Oh, but you do." A chill went up Zidane's spine and Garnet leaned back. Their mouths met quickly, a heated passion was building inside both of them. It wasn't long before Zidane's fingers found the buttons on the back of her dress.
"Remember what happened last time? You shouldn't do this" She mentally told the voice to shut up. Zidane grabbed a tent off of one of the shelves and lay it down on the ground. She joined him down on the spread out fabric. He knew that look.
"What's wrong?"
"Should we be doing this?"
"Good girl." The voice praised her.
"We don't have to." She traced the trim on his vest.
"But I want to."
"I don't understand, Dagger."
"Forget it."
"No, really, what is it?"
"It's not that important."
"Are you sure?" Garnet gave a quick nod, but almost immediately slowed.
"What if something comes of this?" Zidane understood.
"I'd be okay with that. I wouldn't mind. would you?" She thought back over the last two years. When she was pregnant, she was almost, excited to have the baby. It was something that she always wanted. But did she still want it now? Should she tell him about what happened?
The voice commanded. "Garnet, don't you dare."
"No, I wouldn't." They slowly made love to each other, very gently, each afraid to hurt the other. They continued for an unknown amount of time, but from exhaustion, Zidane fell asleep. Garnet couldn't though. There was that voice penetrating through her brain. "You whore." it insulted her. "It's not time yet. You really should start listening to me."
~*~*~*~
"What have I done?" Tears welled up in the confused Queen's eyes. Her second thoughts were overwhelming her. She knew that she was pregnant again, even though it had only been a day, she could feel it inside of her. 'No,' she told herself, 'this'll be good for you. You'll stop dwelling on the past.' The past. Zidane still didn't know. He knew none of it. 'What if it happened again?' She clenched her stomach in freight. 'What if I lose this one too?' She ran up the stairs and shut her bedroom door, hiding under the safety of her covers. She hid from the voice, the one that never stopped. Never left her alone. The one that told her to, "Enjoy it, while it lasts."
~*~*~*~
Zidane crawled in under the covers of the bed he shared with his beloved Dagger. He wrapped his arms around her resting frame and held her close against him. When he received no response, he became concerned. "Dagger? Are you okay?" In his embrace, she began to tremble slightly. "Dagger?" She twisted to face him, her cheeks flushed from tears. She grasped onto him as tightly as possible, softly crying into his chest. He stroked her hair, unsure of what to do. "What is it? Dagger, what's wrong? What happened?" He panicked; she was crying and he didn't know why. She squeezed her hands tightly on his shirt, crumpling the material.
"It's just." she began. "I mean, I." She pulled away slightly, to look him in the eye. "I don't know how I'm going to tell you this."
"Tell me what?" His eyes pleaded with her, but at the same time, were fearful of what she had to say.
"Zidane," she took a deep breath in. "Do you remember that time at the Black Mage Village?" Suddenly Zidane's face broke out into shock, he knew. There was no other possibility. He nodded in agreement, not voicing his thoughts in hopes that they weren't true. "Something happened then, I guess we forgot about any possible outcomes of our actions." Now he knew that he was right. 'Oh my god.' Zidane's thoughts sped by him a million times an hour. 'I have a kid, but why haven't it seen it around? It. is it a him or a her? How old? Well probably no more than 18 months, oh god, I'm a dad.' Out of everything he thought, only two words came out.
"You mean.?"
"Yes Zidane, I was pregnant." Zidane felt his body paralyze in shock.
"You mean. we have a child?" His brain slowed down to attempt to rationally process the information. Once again, his voice was not working for him. "Where?" Even through his seemingly incomprehendable question, she knew what he meant.
"We. almost did." Garnet's eyes closed for a second, they were threatening to release more tears. She was not going to let herself lose her composure again. If she was going to tell him, she had to be as calm as possible. Zidane didn't understand.
"What do you mean. by almost?"
Her voice got low, nearly above a whisper, uttering the words she didn't want to believe. "I miscarried." Zidane didn't know what to do with himself. He felt like the scum of the world. 'First I get her pregnant, then I leave her, and then she miscarries our child. I'm such a terrible person.' He hugged her close to him.
"Dagger, I'm so sorry. I, I had no idea." She quietly cried into his chest. "I can't believe I left you. with. with. and you had to deal with it by yourself. I'm so sorry." Then his mind shot over to the day before. "Oh my god. That's what you were worried about. Dagger you should have told me. I feel terrible."
"Don't, Beatrix was really helpful, she took care of me during it all. Steiner seemed to keep his distance, I don't think that he knew exactly what to do. Everyone, in general, had a shocked but understanding viewpoint. Baku was the only one that got mad."
".Baku knows?" Zidane's face was covered in worry.
"Yes, I just kind of told him, at your funeral. He said that we were irresponsible."
Zidane shifted uncomfortably. "I had a funeral?" She nodded.
"They searched for you for 3 months before finally ending the search. The cities had to be rebuilt and they couldn't spend any longer searching. The day I miscarried was the day they told me that they had pronounced you dead." A hollow pit filled Zidane's stomach.
"They said I was dead?"
"Apparently, there was no way that you could have been alive, they searched so many times all around the Iifa Tree and in the neighboring villages. They never found you. I didn't want to believe that you were dead. Zidane, if you hadn't come back, I would have made such a huge mistake."
"What do you mean?"
"I wanted to be with you so badly that, since I was then convinced that you were no longer alive, I would join you." Zidane squeezed her tighter. What she said had terrified him.
"Oh god Dagger, I've put you through so much." His eyes unwillingly began to shed tears of sorrow, dripping down onto Garnet. "I don't know how I'm going to, but I'm going to make it up to you. I'll make our time together from now on be better than either of us could have imagined. Dagger, I feel like such a horrible person, how could I have done this to you? I just want to make things better, I don't want you to hurt anymore. How can I do that?" Into his shoulder, she spoke.
"Just love me." She patted her stomach. "And our one on the way." The two lay there and cried together, both of them so hurt by the events of the past few years.
"I can do that. I'll always love you."
"Thank you."
"What are you thanking me for?" "For everything."
~*~*~*~
Two months later, Garnet miscarried again.
::dodges flying objects:: Please don't kill me! ::dodges more objects:: I'm sorry! I had to do it, it's crucial to the plot! ::gets beaned with a chair:: I'll try to get the next chapter up by Thursday? ::objects cease to fly:: It's almost the end of the quarter so I should have more time. Please review, thank you much! *^_^*