Rivendell
Frodo wakes up, in bed.
Frodo: Where am I? Who am I? What am I? Why am I?
Gandalf: You are in the House of Elrond, and it is ten o'clock in the morning, on October the 24th, if you want to know. And as to who, what, and why you are, well, if you don't know, no one does.
Frodo: Gandalf?
Gandalf: Yes, I'm here. And you're lucky to be here, too. A few more hours and you would have been beyond our aid, but you have some strength in you, my dear Hobbit.
Frodo: What happened, Gandalf? Why didn't you meet us?
Gandalf: I am sorry, Frodo. I was delayed. *stares off into space in the approved soap-opera thinking-about-something-else fashion*
The scene is the top of the Orthanc tower. Saruman is practicing his 'evil voice' on Gandalf, trying to get it right for when the new Uruk-Hai are big enough to stop wetting their Orc-diapers and follow his evil commands.
Saruman: A friendship with Saruman is not lightly thrown aside. One ill turn deserves another.
Gandalf: *meekly, because Saruman has the staff* Um, I don't think that's the way it goes, I think it goes 'One good turn deserves another'...Don't you think?
Saruman: *holds Gandalf out over the edge of the tower* Shut up! You're not allowed to speak, prisoner! Ugh, now you've made me lose the voice. *clears his throat and tries to find his place in his lines* Um...It is over. Embrace the power of the Ring or embrace your own destruction!
Gandalf sees the moth approaching behind Saruman, trailing Gwaihir, King of Eagles, behind it. He gains a little bit of courage and decides to try out his own 'majestic good guy' voice on Saruman before leaving.
Gandalf: There is only one Lord of the Ring. Only one who can bend it to his will, and he does not share power!
Gandalf jumps off the edge of the tower. Gwaihir catches him, and they fly away.
Saruman: So you have chosen death.
Gandalf: *over his shoulder as he flies heroically away* No, fool of a Curunir! I have chosen Eagle Airlines, the best mode of transportation anywhere!
Frodo: Gandalf, what is it?
Gandalf: *snaps out of it* What? Hmmm? Oh, nothing.
Sam comes into the room with Elrond behind him.
Sam: Frodo! Bless you, you're awake!
Gandalf: Sam has hardly left your side.
Sam: We were that worried about you, weren't we, Mr. Gandalf?
Gandalf: By the skills of Lord Elrond, you have begun to mend.
Elrond: Welcome to Rivendell, Frodo Baggins.
Frodo: *screams* AHHHHH! What is THAT! Oh, it's so UGLY!!!
Later, outside Frodo's room, Frodo meets Merry and Pippin again, and Bilbo, who looks much older.
Frodo: Bilbo!
Bilbo: Hello, Frodo, my lad!
Frodo: Bilbo.
Frodo looking at Bilbo's book.
Frodo: There and Back Again, a Hobbit's Tale, by Bilbo Baggins. This is wonderful!
Bilbo: I meant to go back, wonder at the powers of the Mirkwood, visit Laketown, see the Lonely Mountain again: but age, it seems, has finally caught up with me.
Frodo: I miss the Shire. I spent all my childhood pretending I was off somewhere else, off with you on one of your adventures. But my own adventure turned out to be quite different. I'm not like you, Bilbo.
Bilbo: *looking extremely self-satisfied* My dear boy. No one can be like me!
Scene changes. Sam is packing his things.
Sam: Now what have I forgotten?
Frodo: Packed already?
Sam: No harm in being prepared.
Frodo: I thought you wanted to see the Elves, Sam.
Sam: I do.
Frodo: More than anything!
Sam: I did, but...but when I got here, and saw them-well, let's just say that if all the Elves look like Lord Elrond, this world could do without them. He is, like, SO ugly!! And his hair is all stringy and stuff...I thought Elves were supposed to be drop-dead gorgeous?
Frodo: *agreeably* Apparently not. But-hey, wait, that wasn't your line! You were supposed to say-*starts with Sam's lines*
Sam: Hey! Those are mine, let me say them! *goes on* We did what Gandalf wanted, didn't we? We got the Ring this far, to Rivendell, and seeing as how you're on the mend, I thought we'd be off soon. Off home.
Frodo: You're right, Sam. We did what we set out to do. The Ring will be safe in Rivendell. I am ready to go to hell.
Sam: WHAT!!? Home, it's HOME! *worriedly* You didn't mean that, did you?
Frodo: Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention! What did I say? Did I say something bad? I was just thinking of Lord Elrond, was all! Did I ruin the film again?
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Oh, yay, it's done! *looks sheepish* Did I say Saturday? Well, I must have meant Monday! Really!
dolphin and I are setting up our own website-oh, the pain!-and it takes more time than I had planned on to get things together. One can't be getting one's daily slash fix when one is concentrating on trying to figure out what one did wrong with the formatting in one's fiction section. GRRRR! Anyway-this little ficcie here, as well as all of dolphin's stories and poetry, will be on the site when we are finished. I'll also eventually have several mpregs of my own and two or three more ruined scripts (we've got The Phantom Menace, A New Hope, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone lined up, and hope to eventually find The Two Towers as well).
Why can't we fit just a few more hours into every day?!