Disclaimer: They don't belong to me, I'm only borrowing them for a short time & promise to return them as good as new J I'm not making any money from this & no infringement is intended.

A/N: This is where it gets pretty heavy. Although it's not graphic, I do deal with rape and torture from now on. So if you're squeamish about that…well, consider yourself warned.

Love Has Come

By Melanie-Anne

Part 4 – In Dreams I

"Wh- What did you say?" Harm asked, his voice trembling. He thought he'd heard wrong.

"We found Mac," Webb said.

"Where is she?"

"Harm-"

"She's alive, isn't she? Don't say she's-"

"She's alive. But- Look, I'd prefer not to do this over the phone. She's at Georgetown University Hospital. Can you come down here?"

Harm didn't wait to be asked twice. He practically ran to his car, not hearing Harriet shouting after him. The thing foremost in his mind was Mac.

Webb was sitting in the hospital waiting room.

"Where is she?" Harm demanded, not wasting time with a greeting.

"Let's talk first, okay?"

"No, damnit! I need to see her!" Harm insisted, unaware of the scene he was causing.

"There are some things you need to know before you can."

Something in Webb's tone registered with Harm and he calmed down slightly, a horrible feeling growing in the pit of his stomach. "What did they do to her?"

"We're not entirely sure."  Webb led Harm to the plastic chairs. "She was found wandering along the highway. The guy who stopped to offer her a lift brought her in when she didn't respond to him. Our contact here recognized her and called me."

"What do you mean, she didn't respond?"

Webb tried to be as gentle as possible when he spoke again. "You'd better take a look for yourself."

Harm froze as he entered Mac's room. She lay on a narrow bed, curled up on her side. He couldn't believe it was really her. Every part of him wanted to rush over to her and take her in his arms, but he was immobile.

"Mac?" he whispered, suddenly voiceless.

The figure on the bed did not seem to hear him; she showed no reaction and gave no reply.

"Sarah?" Harm tried.

Still nothing.

His footsteps seemed too loud as he approached the bed, oblivious to Webb's sympathetic gaze as he watched from the doorway. Harm pulled the visitor's chair closer to the bed and sat down, his eyes never leaving his friend. He could see now the yellowing bruises on her face and arms and shuddered to think of the countless others that were probably hidden by the sheet. Mac's eyes were open but she saw nothing, lost in another world. There was a scratch on her temple, flaked with dried blood. Black bags under her eyes, her face gaunt, hollow cheekbones, her hair slightly longer than he remembered – Harm catalogued the differences in Mac, filing them away in his head for later reference.

"Sarah, I know you can hear me," he said, taking her hand in his, subconsciously aware of the frail bones it contained. "You're safe now, okay? No one's going to hurt you anymore, I promise. I'm here now. And I'm not going anywhere."

"Shall I call the admiral?" Webb suggested, feeling like an intruder. Harm acknowledged him with a brief nod, not even turning to look at him.

*

It's warm again…is this another trick? This is another trick and as soon as I fall for it they'll bring back the cold. No, no, it's safer to stay here. They can't hurt me here.

"Mac?" That sounds like- No! It's my imagination. They've tricked me like that before. And then…and then….

"Sarah?" Shh! Stop it! Go away! Just go away! You're not supposed to find me here! This is supposed to be a safe place! How did you find me? I'm not coming back!

Don't touch me like that. Please…don't be gentle…I told you I won't fall for it again. Once was enough! I learned, after that. I'm not stupid. I know you're gentle now…but then you'll-

"Sarah, I know you can hear me." Why do you sound like him?

"You're safe now, okay? No one's going to hurt you anymore." Liar! Liar! Liar!

"I promise. I'm here now." Liar!

"And I'm not going anywhere." No, no, nonono!

*

Mac's pulse was racing. Harm felt her forehead. Her temperature had risen too and her breath was coming in short, shallow gasps.

"Mac?"

He did the first thing that came to mind and put his arms around her, hugging her to his chest.

Let me go! Don't touch me!

"Shh, Sarah, it's me. It's Harm."

Harm?

It was his smell that calmed her. It was that which reassured her that he wasn't a figment of her imagination or, more importantly, that he wasn't one of her captors. Slowly returning to reality, she blinked at the bright light streaming through the hospital window.

"Harm?" she croaked, straining her ill-treated vocal chords.

He tightened his hold and she gasped, beginning to feel the effects of her many injuries.

"I'm sorry," he said, allowing her to lie back against the pillows. "I'm just…I thought…I'm so glad you're back."

She smiled weakly. "Did you miss me?"

He was too relieved to joke around. "Yes," he answered seriously.

"Excuse me, sir." A nurse interrupted, entering the room. "It's time for her examination now. Could you step outside, please?"

"Uh, sure. Are you okay with that, Mac?"

She nodded.

Harm sat on a chair in the hallway and ran his hands through his hair, processing the events that had just occurred. Mac was back, considerably worse for the wear. She had a split lip that he hadn't noticed earlier. At least she was alive. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear the admiral and Webb's approach.

"How is she?" Admiral Chegwidden asked.

"She came out of it a little while ago but now they're examining her."

"Did she say anything about what happened?" Webb asked.

Harm shook his head.

Half an hour later, the nurse and doctor stepped out.

"Well?" Harm asked, standing up.

"The list is almost endless, I'm afraid," the doctor said. "She seems to have no recollection about what caused the injuries which is probably a good thing, considering. Short-term amnesia is not uncommon after a major trauma. Sarah has various bruises and contusions almost everywhere on her body. Three of the ribs on the left side of her torso are broken. She's dehydrated and suffering from a mild case of malnutrition. Also, she is suffering from pneumonia." He paused. "There is no evidence to support it, but we cannot discount the possibly that she was sexually assaulted as well."

"What? What makes you say that?" Harm asked, feeling ill. The thought that Mac had been violated like that filled him with horror.

"It's just a precaution. Because she can't remember anything I've taken blood samples for testing."

"Tests? What kind of tests?" Harm asked.

"STD's, HIV, pregnancy."

Harm shook his head. He wanted to wake up and realize this was a horrible dream. He wanted Mac to be healthy and happy. He wanted to go back to that fateful night and do everything differently. He'd rather that he was the one lying in that hospital bed, not Mac. This couldn't be happening to Mac.

"Webb, I want you to find whoever did this and let me deal with him."

"Harm, I think you should calm down-"

Harm brushed past them and went to sit by Mac's bedside again.  She was asleep – really asleep – and Harm sat back in his chair, keeping a silent vigil over the woman he loved.

***

So dark. So, so dark. Where are my clothes? Why don't I have any clothes on? Why am I on the floor? It's cold in here…. Hey! Let me out! Somebody help me! I bang on the door but no one answers.  Maybe it's not the door. I feel my way around the room. It's tiny. The size of my bathroom at home.

Home.

I want to go home! Who are you? Let me out! Somebody!

There's a rush of cool air from behind me and I turn around, instinctively covering my chest in a vain attempt at modesty.

"Somebody's awake," a man says.

I know him from somewhere. Before I can remember, he slaps me. I don't expect this and fall to my knees. The floor is concrete. It hurts.

He laughs at me and leaves. I'm alone again. It's cold. And dark.

"Hey, it's okay. Shh…."

Mac opened her eyes and looked up at Harm. "You were crying in your sleep," he explained.

"Oh." Her voice was still only a whisper. How much screaming had she done? She wondered. "What happened to me?"

"You still don't know?" At the blank look in her eyes, he continued. "We don't know either. You were found on the highway."

"I escaped." That much she knew, but for the life of her she couldn't remember from where or why.

"Do you remember where you were? How you got away?"

She shook her head sadly. "I'm sorry." Tears welled up in her eyes and trickled slowly down her cheeks. "I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me."

"Hurt you? Mac, I'd never hurt you, you know that. Did they hurt you?"

"I don't remember." Images of men, a piece of iron, water, hands touching her. "I don't remember."

"That's okay," he soothed. "Don't worry about it."

***

Chloe stood at the foot of Mac's bed. Though they weren't related by blood, she did think of them as sisters. It hurt to see her like that. She'd been shocked when she'd walked into the hospital room, thinking for a second that it couldn't be Mac lying in this bed, it couldn't be Mac who looked like she'd been pulled through a hurricane. At least she was alive, Chloe thought. She could be grateful for that.

It didn't look like she'd be waking up any time soon, so Chloe tiptoed closer and kissed Mac's cheek.

"Get well, okay?" she whispered, then turned and left.

***

One week later

Mac didn't need to look at a watch to know that Harm was late.  She hoped nothing was wrong. Today was the day that she was supposed to be going home and Harm had said that he'd be there to pick her up at 1200.  It was 1205.

Unconsciously biting her nails, Mac looked around the room anxiously.  Suppose he had forgotten?  Suppose he had decided not to come?  Suppose he had been in an accident?  Suppose-

"Hey, ready to go?" His voice startled her.

"You're late," she said.

He glanced at his wristwatch.  Seven minutes.  Deciding not to make an issue of it, he shrugged and said, "Traffic."

"Oh." She felt stupid for overreacting and couldn't think why she'd been that worried at all. "Well, I'm ready."

Harm picked her up as carefully as he could and started to put her in a wheelchair. He couldn't believe how light she was.

"Harm, I can walk," she protested.

"Humor me."

She had no choice but to obey. When he was in a mood such as this, no amount of arguing could get him to change his mind.

Mac was silent for the entire trip from the hospital to her apartment. Harm switched the radio on, only for Mac to switch it off almost immediately. She stared steadfastly out the window, not hearing Harm as he chattered nonstop in an attempt to break the silence.

Please turn the noise off, please! Why is it so loud?

No. No, please. Please don't. I'll stop screaming. I promise, just please-

Ow! That hurts…leave me alone, you bastards! No. Not that, please- Anything but that….

I'll pretend it's Harm. I could cope if it was him. So I'll just close my eyes and pretend…and that way YOU won't win!

Harm stopped the car, then got out and opened the door for Mac.

"Can you walk or do you need me to carry you up?"

"I'll walk," she said.

Still not strong enough to do it by herself, she held on to Harm's arm. When they reached the spot where she had been abducted, she froze.

"Sarah?"

That smell. Something over my mouth. Help me! Harm! Somebody!

"Hey, Sarah, come on."

Harm unlocked the front door and ushered her inside. To Mac, the once-familiar apartment now seemed strangely unfamiliar. Still, she was glad to finally be home.

"Are you hungry? Or did you eat lunch at the hospital?" Harm asked.

"Hospitals don't serve food, Harm, they-"

"So what do you feel like? Pizza? Burgers? Chinese?"

She smiled. "Walking the wild side, sailor? Surprise me."

He picked up the phone, his eyes following her as she slowly made her way around the apartment.

"Harm?" Her confused voice echoed from the bathroom. "Why are your clothes in my laundry basket?"

Harm swallowed the lump that had suddenly appeared in his throat. Since Mac's return, he'd been waiting for the right moment to tell her that he'd moved into her apartment. Apparently, that moment had arrived.

"Uh, Mac, we need to talk."

She came into the living room and curled up on the couch, a slight frown creasing her forehead.  Harm sat beside her, not sure how to begin. He noticed her shallow breathing and reached out to feel her forehead; it was warm to the touch.

"Mac, you should be resting in bed. I promised the doctors you'd be looked after."

She nodded, suddenly very tired, and allowed Harm to carry her to her bedroom.

"You still haven't answered my question, Harm."

He pulled back the covers and set her down, pulling off her shoes.

"Harm, are you living here?" There was a hint of amusement in her voice.

"I needed to be close to you. We'd just- things were just starting to work out between us. And then you were gone and there was this huge hole in my life and I wasn't sure if I'd ever see you again. I just wanted to be somewhere that you'd been. I, uh- do you mind? Me being here, I mean. Are you mad?"

Mac smiled. "No."

"Would you-"

There was a knock at the door.

"That'll be our food," Harm said and leaned in to kiss her forehead. "I'll be back in a minute."

When he returned with the two cartons of Chinese food, Mac was fast asleep.  As tenderly as possible, Harm covered her with the duvet and brushed her hair away from her face, loathe to leave her, in case she disappeared again.

***

I just want to sleep. Why won't you let me sleep? I'm cold and hungry and tired. Please….

A splash of cold wakes me.  They've brought a hose in. the water is freezing. I huddle in the corner, trying to make myself as small as possible. I just want to disappear. How long have I been here? I don't know. I know what time it is but I don't know which day. I've been so long without sleep. I wish they'd just let me sleep.

The hose is off. They're going to leave me wet. I hate them. If I had any strength left I'd kill them.

Hey! Do you hear that? I hate you!

That was stupid, Sarah. They're kicking me again. They're still wearing boots. I don't know which is worse: the pain or the cold.  But I'm so tired. I struggle to keep my eyes open.

That crack I just heard, was that real or just in my imagination? It feels real….

Why me, Lord? What did I do to deserve this?

They're laughing at me but I don't care. I can't fight it anymore. At least sleep brings release, if only for a short time.

Mac woke up frightened, half-expecting to be back in that horrible room.  The nightmare hadn't been as bad as some others she'd had, but it had been real enough to make her question reality. Was she only dreaming that she was back at home? Was she still locked in her cell?

Mindful of her ribs, she rolled onto her uninjured side and hugged her pillow to her chest. Her bed smelled of Harm. She was touched that he'd felt it necessary to stay here in her absence but her self-confidence and self-image had taken such a beating that she felt she didn't deserve that kind of devotion. She no longer felt good enough to warrant Harm's love.

The doctors had told her that it took about six weeks to recover from pneumonia and that she had to get plenty of bed rest, which basically translated to: she needed looking after. Harm had made it pretty clear that he was the one who was going to do the looking after.

Six weeks, she thought. I can handle six weeks. And then I'll leave and let him get on with the rest of his life. I only hope I'll be able to handle that.