WARNING!! Fleeting mention of slash in the final paragraphs of this chapter-entirely skippable, not necessary to the 'plot', but enough that I felt a warning was in order. Sorry to those who only read het or gen-I don't think I could write an entirely gen fic if my life depended on it!  -_- ;

In Lothlorien

Aragorn crosses a stream.

Aragorn: Ah! Ah! *prances around trying not to touch the water* It's coldit'scoldit'scoldit'sCOLD!! *prances one too many times, trips and falls flat on his face in the water* AHH! *splutter* AHH! *splutter* I'm *splutter* DROWNING! Save me!!

After some deliberation, the others decide not to save him after all, so he gets himself up and sees Lothlorien, a wood of silver trees, in the distance. He gets a weird, maniacal grin on his face and they all start running towards it. After some travel, they finally enter the wood.

Gimli: Stay close, young hobbits. They say a great sorceress lives in these woods: an elf-witch of terrible power. All who look upon her fall under her spell, and are never seen again.

Galadriel, inside of Frodo's head: Frooodoooo. Your coming is as the footsteps of doooom. You bring great evil here, Ringbearer.

Frodo: Huh? Am I hearing things?

Sam: Mr. Frodo?

Gimli: Well, this is one dwarf she won't ensnare so easily! I have the eyes of a hawk, and the ears of a fox!

Suddenly, they are all surrounded by Elves with drawn bows. Haldir steps forward, looking as ugly as only Haldir and Elrond truly can.

Haldir: The Dwarf breathes so loudly we could have shot him in the dark.

Gimil growls, insulted, while the hobbits, catching a good look at Haldir's ugliness, do thus-

Hobbits: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!

All four quickly run and hide behind Aragorn.

Haldir: Hey, what's up with them?

Aragorn: Um.

He looks sidewise at Haldir to see if he looks less like an Orc from that angle, decides not, and straightens.

Aragorn: Did you dye your eyebrows dark, or your hair blond?

Haldir: What!? *goes cross-eyed looking at self* DAMN IT ALL!! Lady Galadriel's been playing at Undercover Beauty Salon again!

Aragorn: Wha-? Oh, never mind. What're my lines again? Oh, yeah. Haldir of Lorien. We have come for help. We need your protection.

Gimli: Aragorn, these woods are perilous! We should go back!

Haldir: *still looking miffed* Nope, you have entered the realm of the Lady of the Wood.*under his breath* Otherwise known as Lady Looselips, Drugger of Celeborns, Owner of the Ugly Underwear, and Toad-face.

Galadriel: I HEARD THAT!! *pauses* Hey, wait a minute! How do you know my underwear are ugly?

Aragorn: *ears turn red* Can we, like-move on now?

Haldir: Oh, sure! But you cannot go back. Come. She is waiting.

They enter Caras Galadhon, a great elf city in the trees, and are brought before Celeborn and Galadriel.

Celeborn: *drawling with an extremely dull look on his face* Eight there are here, but nine there were set out from Rivendeeell. Wheeere is Gandalf, for I MUCH desire to speak with hiiiim.

Galadriel: He is fallen into shadow. The quest stands on the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail, to the ruin of all. Yet hope remains while the Company is true. Do not let your hearts be troubled. Go now, and rest, for you are weary with sorrow and much toil. Tonight...you shall sleep in peace. *realizes what she said and repeals it quickly* You'd better not sleep in 'peace'! Ruin my nice sheets and DIE!

Galadriel, in Frodo's head: *in a creepy voice with creepy eyes* Welcome, Frodo of the Shire. One who has seen the EYE! *goes bug-eyed*

Elves sing in the background while the Fellowship camps at the trees' feet, more comfortable on the ground than in the flets.

Legolas: A lament for Gandalf.

Frodo: What do they say about him?

Legolas: I have not the heart to tell you. Because they're saying things that will make this movie's rating shoot through the ceiling, and I'd rather not repeat them, if you don't mind...Also, for me the grief is still too near.

Aragorn gets up and wanders off to find Boromir, who is sitting on the roots of some tree and fondling his shield.

Aragorn: Wanna boink, Boromir? These borders are well protected.

Boromir: *sadly* Not here. I heard her voice...inside my head.

Aragorn: *crestfallen* Oh. D'you think she'd be able to hear us?

Boromir: *even more sadly* Most likely. Anyway, she spoke of my father and the fall of Gondor. She said to me, 'Even now, there is hope left'-but I cannot see it. It is long since we had any-*stops and looks curiously at Aragorn's neck* Hey! Is that a girl's necklace you've got on?

Aragorn: *ears go red yet again* Um, nope! I mean, what necklace? *quickly tucks shirtcollar closed*

Boromir: The one you're-hey, it's not there anymore! Oh, well. *shrugs and starts sentence again* It is long since we had any hope. My father is a noble man, but his rule is failing, and the people lose faith. My father looks to me to set it right, and I would do it-I would see the glory of Gondor restored. Have you seen it, Aragorn? *waxes poetic* The White Tower of Ecthelion glimmering like a spike of pearl and silver, its banners caught high in the morning breeze. Have you ever been called home by the clear ringing of silver trumpets?

Aragorn: *hedges* I have seen the White City, long ago.

Boromir: *too caught up to notice that Aragorn's eyes are dangerously close to rolling out of his head* One day, our paths will lead us there, and the Tower Guard will take up the call, 'The lords of Gondor have returned!'

Aragorn makes no promises.

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Note: Have you ever noticed that none of these people ever go to the bathroom? Just thought I'd mention that!

A/N Just so you know, Undercover Beauty Salon is when you mix Beauty Salon and Covert Ops, and is played by taking the gaudiest shades of makeup you can find and smearing them all over friends and/or family members in such a way that they do not notice you doing it, and thus run around that way until someone has the bad manners to actually tell them what they look like and ruin your nice game. *cackles evilly*