Lockhart and the ever so Demented Harry Potter
Lockhart smiled widely at the crowd of women waiting for him to sign their books.
"Lockhart what the bloody hell are you doing?" Dumbledore walked forward ready to give Lockhart a good spanking. "Bend over!" Lockhart did as he was told. Dumbledore walked forward to smack Lockhart when.he tripped on his beard! "DAMIT!!!" Dumbledore lay on the ground embarrassed.
Lockhart seeing it was the perfect time to make himself look good strolled over to Dumbledore "bllrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" Lockhart farted all over Dumbledore! Dumbledore gasped for breathe. The crowd of women clapped adoringly.
*************************NEXT DAYS NEWPAPER********************* Reeter skeeter corespondent writes..Lockhart famous for his memory erasing farts does it again! Whilst in a signing session the evil Dumbledore entered the room. Dumbledore who we all know is a mad bum sniffer attacked the women with his wild bum sniffing. Lockhart saves the day once again. Kicking Dumbledore to ground he tied him up with Dumbledore's beard and farted in his face making the head master of Hogwarts instantly faint. Hermione Granger Hogwarts 2nd student tell us "he saved the day, I love him like sun in the sky, the bird in the morning, the flowers in the meadow, and most of all like the fart in a breeze. We asked Hermione what she thought of rumours Lockhart is a cheating liar who can't fight for nuts and she told us "what a ridiculous thing to say! Locky would never do such a thing!" Signing off, Reeter Skeeter.
"Lockhart you can't keep doing this!" Dumbledore's bulging eyes could just be seen over the rack of women's dresses in Brampton's. "You know as well as I do it's just for the publicity Dumbledore, my fans love the smell of a fresh fart!" Lockhart picked out the pink frilly dress for himself whilst talking.
Meanwhile....
Harry Potter had gone to find Hedwig. He had sent her to deliver a letter to Serius. She had run into some trees and seemed to be drinking rum wit a local pigeon. Harry walked into the entrance of the forest. "Com'on down girl! You can drink rum with me and Hagrid later!" Hedwig's reply to this was pooing on Harry's head.
Suddenly someone come from behind Harry. It was Lockhart! "Oh Lockhart it's just you!"
"Despicable Harry! Twelve year old drinking rum with a red head and an owl! Why didn't you invite me!?" Lockhart looked hurt. "But who cares right now, I am going to kill you! You've stolen my fame Potter for the last time! My fan mail is getting smaller! Rumour has it your mail is getting bigger! Witch Weekly best smile award!? Who do you think you are? Me? Well all though that would be truly wonderful for you I have to kill you now!"
Lockhart stabbed Harry with a stick. Harry dropped to the ground not yet dead. Lockhart farted in his face and he died.
Suddenly the whole school was running out wondering where the delightful Harry Potter had gone! They saw Lockhart standing over him bum posed. They ran to attack, he had killed Harry, but he was also incredibly good looking and charming, they stopped. What to do?
To be continued!
Please r/r me about the fic. I will write more if I get a few reviews!
Lockhart smiled widely at the crowd of women waiting for him to sign their books.
"Lockhart what the bloody hell are you doing?" Dumbledore walked forward ready to give Lockhart a good spanking. "Bend over!" Lockhart did as he was told. Dumbledore walked forward to smack Lockhart when.he tripped on his beard! "DAMIT!!!" Dumbledore lay on the ground embarrassed.
Lockhart seeing it was the perfect time to make himself look good strolled over to Dumbledore "bllrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" Lockhart farted all over Dumbledore! Dumbledore gasped for breathe. The crowd of women clapped adoringly.
*************************NEXT DAYS NEWPAPER********************* Reeter skeeter corespondent writes..Lockhart famous for his memory erasing farts does it again! Whilst in a signing session the evil Dumbledore entered the room. Dumbledore who we all know is a mad bum sniffer attacked the women with his wild bum sniffing. Lockhart saves the day once again. Kicking Dumbledore to ground he tied him up with Dumbledore's beard and farted in his face making the head master of Hogwarts instantly faint. Hermione Granger Hogwarts 2nd student tell us "he saved the day, I love him like sun in the sky, the bird in the morning, the flowers in the meadow, and most of all like the fart in a breeze. We asked Hermione what she thought of rumours Lockhart is a cheating liar who can't fight for nuts and she told us "what a ridiculous thing to say! Locky would never do such a thing!" Signing off, Reeter Skeeter.
"Lockhart you can't keep doing this!" Dumbledore's bulging eyes could just be seen over the rack of women's dresses in Brampton's. "You know as well as I do it's just for the publicity Dumbledore, my fans love the smell of a fresh fart!" Lockhart picked out the pink frilly dress for himself whilst talking.
Meanwhile....
Harry Potter had gone to find Hedwig. He had sent her to deliver a letter to Serius. She had run into some trees and seemed to be drinking rum wit a local pigeon. Harry walked into the entrance of the forest. "Com'on down girl! You can drink rum with me and Hagrid later!" Hedwig's reply to this was pooing on Harry's head.
Suddenly someone come from behind Harry. It was Lockhart! "Oh Lockhart it's just you!"
"Despicable Harry! Twelve year old drinking rum with a red head and an owl! Why didn't you invite me!?" Lockhart looked hurt. "But who cares right now, I am going to kill you! You've stolen my fame Potter for the last time! My fan mail is getting smaller! Rumour has it your mail is getting bigger! Witch Weekly best smile award!? Who do you think you are? Me? Well all though that would be truly wonderful for you I have to kill you now!"
Lockhart stabbed Harry with a stick. Harry dropped to the ground not yet dead. Lockhart farted in his face and he died.
Suddenly the whole school was running out wondering where the delightful Harry Potter had gone! They saw Lockhart standing over him bum posed. They ran to attack, he had killed Harry, but he was also incredibly good looking and charming, they stopped. What to do?
To be continued!
Please r/r me about the fic. I will write more if I get a few reviews!