Goodbye
Everyone thinks I have a good life. You could say I'm smart maybe even pretty. My mother loves me. I have an excellent boyfriend and great friends. I go to a superb school. So one day I can live my dream and go to Harvard.
But it's not really my dream.
It's my mother's and somehow it merged into becoming my dream. I have to keep this as my dream otherwise everything would change and that isn't a good thing in a small town like mine. No one really knows how I feel about life. Everyone just thinks I love it but I don't, not anymore. You might ask what changed my mind, but one day it just changed.
That was the day I began to cut myself.
No one knows.
At first I don't know why I did this but then I realized that no one could hurt as much as I hurt myself. I do this because if I change no one will like me and I'm scared of that. I'm the girl who everybody likes. So I have to hurt myself so I won't change and be some one who people won't like. Now that I am thinking about it I have changed but on the inside. This is so no one notices. So it doesn't matter really. Nothing really matters anymore.
My whole life is an act.
I go to school everyday and I get good grades not for me but for my mother. So she will be happy. So she will think nothings wrong. I will stay with my boyfriend because that's what is expected and if I suddenly change then no one will like who I have become and I'm afraid of that.
So now as I sit here in the bathroom slitting my wrist you'll understand why I have to leave this place. Why I can't be here anymore. It's because I wont live a life that's not mine. I just wanted to be able to live as me but that wasn't possible so this is the only thing to do.
Goodbye
Everyone thinks I have a good life. You could say I'm smart maybe even pretty. My mother loves me. I have an excellent boyfriend and great friends. I go to a superb school. So one day I can live my dream and go to Harvard.
But it's not really my dream.
It's my mother's and somehow it merged into becoming my dream. I have to keep this as my dream otherwise everything would change and that isn't a good thing in a small town like mine. No one really knows how I feel about life. Everyone just thinks I love it but I don't, not anymore. You might ask what changed my mind, but one day it just changed.
That was the day I began to cut myself.
No one knows.
At first I don't know why I did this but then I realized that no one could hurt as much as I hurt myself. I do this because if I change no one will like me and I'm scared of that. I'm the girl who everybody likes. So I have to hurt myself so I won't change and be some one who people won't like. Now that I am thinking about it I have changed but on the inside. This is so no one notices. So it doesn't matter really. Nothing really matters anymore.
My whole life is an act.
I go to school everyday and I get good grades not for me but for my mother. So she will be happy. So she will think nothings wrong. I will stay with my boyfriend because that's what is expected and if I suddenly change then no one will like who I have become and I'm afraid of that.
So now as I sit here in the bathroom slitting my wrist you'll understand why I have to leave this place. Why I can't be here anymore. It's because I wont live a life that's not mine. I just wanted to be able to live as me but that wasn't possible so this is the only thing to do.
Goodbye