disclaimer: The X-Men don't belong to me and neither does any of the songs
I've used. I thought it sounded like a neat idea, anyway, this is my first
fan fic so please be kind, and enjoy.
~ Part Four ~
Lizzy had grown pretty close to the X-Men. They were a lot like family to her. She spent a lot of time with Rogue, Storm, Kitty and Jubilee. Jean was a little too closed off. She even spent time with some of the guys. She enjoyed spending time with the professor as well. His attitude toward her had changed since they'd gone to the mall almost six months ago now. Her grandmother had even changed. Deciding that it was time she was given some answers, she set aside a time to talk to the professor during a training session. As the other X-Men were training in the danger room, she sat in Xavier's office studying him. She hadn't yet attempted to break the barrier he kept up. He'd told her several times that she was more than capable of doing so, but she hadn't tried. If he lied to her today, or tried to hide the truth from her, she'd break it. She couldn't stand any more lies; she needed the truth of her family history. "You promised me when I first came to the mansion that you wouldn't keep secrets from me. I have to know the truth about who my grandfather is and who my father is. I won't take them from my grandmother's head, because she made a promise to my dying mother." She paused for a breath. "Do you know who they are?"
Xavier studied her. "I do."
Butterflies bounced in her stomach. "Are you going to tell me?"
"I promised you no secrets. I never promised to keep your grandmother's."
She nodded. That was his way of saying yes. "Let's start with the longest kept then. Who's my grandfather?"
Charles took a deep breath. "A man who foolishly waited until it was too late to ask for your grandmother's hand in marriage. Elizabetta, I am your grandfather."
Lizzy stared at him. She couldn't believe her ears. Charles Xavier was her grandfather? Her grandmother had been keeping this secret from her for all these years? Why? Xavier was a good man and a highly respected mutant rights activist. He'd done so much for their kind. Everything he did was to help mutants and humans alike. How could she have kept this secret from her? She studied him, having a hard time understanding why her grandmother would keep this from her. "You?"
"That's right. I had waited to ask your grandmother to marry me because her father was sick and it didn't seem like the right time. During a summer break I decided that I couldn't wait any longer, but I was too late. She'd gone away to another school or so I was told. I didn't know about your mother. I'd had no idea, Evie was . . . Your grandmother has only just confirmed it to me a couple of days ago."
She stared at him. "How long have you suspected it then?"
"Six months now, the day you and all the others left for the mall. I truly wish I had known about your mother."
"Would things have been different?"
"Greatly."
She studied him intrigued. "What do you mean?"
"You wouldn't be alive, Lizzy. Your mother wouldn't have . . . no I can't say that. Your father would not have been your father and it's a likely possibility that you wouldn't be a mutant at all, or not a very powerful one. And in that case I'm fairly sure that your mother would still be alive."
She sat back in the chair absorbing all that he was telling her. Shock was all she could feel at this moment. To have her mother around . . . Suddenly she looked at him. "Wait a minute. You're trying to tell me that my father's a mutant? Not just an ordinary one, but a very powerful one - just like you?"
"Yes, but I will not tell you who he is, that much I have promised Evie."
She ran her hands through her hair, just as she always did when nervous or anxious - something she and Logan had in common. He didn't have to tell her who her father was, she knew. The X-Men talked too much about Magneto and how he and Xavier were the most powerful mutants in existence - with the exception of a little Scottish boy named Kevin. "So, this explains the changes. What does it mean?"
"That I can not say. This has to be your choice. There is so much more that you can do to expand your gifts. If you wish to stay I will help you, but . . ."
"I meant with you and I, Professor. You're my grandfather - that changes our relationship. We're not student and teacher anymore, and you're not just a man seeing my grandmother. So are we grandfather and grandchild, or friends or teacher and student?"
"Can we not be all three?"
Lizzy studied him. "I don't know. I've always been pretty accepting of things, so I don't think I'll have A LOT of adjusting to do. I kind of like the idea of you being my grandfather. It's more than I could have hoped for. At least I got to know who and what you're all about before this bombshell was dropped."
Xavier smiled, touched by her words. He'd longed to share this news with her. He was thrilled that she had taken it so well. "I'll leave it up to you to share the news with the others."
Lizzy's eyes got huge. "I never even thought of it. Wow. I think dinner would be a good time. The sooner it's out in the open the better; don't you think?"
"Yes, I do. Shall we order in take-out from Little Italy, or Wolfgang's, or somewhere else?"
Lizzy smiled. "Something extra special from Wolfgang's I think. Shrimp, and caviar maybe."
Xavier smiled. "I think this occasion calls for it."
~ ~ ~
At dinner Lizzy sat next to the professor at the very end of one side of the table. All of the X-Men were surprised to see the food that was laid out before them. They had expected something hearty and more countrified when Xavier had said take-out. But this was top of the line! Alaskan salmon filets smothered in a white butter sauce, jumbo shrimp, stuffed jumbo mushrooms with a diced sauteed mushroom sauce, crab legs, lobster tails, sauteed vegetables, with sparkling grape juice and caviar.
Jean looked at the food. "What's all this."
"A celebration. Please have a seat." As each of the X-Men took their seats, Xavier's smile grew. He looked over at Lizzy. "Shall I tell them?"
"Be my guest."
The X-Men stared at them. "Lizzy has decided to join the team."
The stares just became more intense. Some said congratulations, others just shrugged. They'd expected as much with all the training she'd done in the danger room. "So you're throwing a party," Jean asked.
"That's not the only reason; no," Xavier said. "But I was expecting a little more enthusiasm."
Lizzy reached over and touched his arm. "It's not important. I think everyone's just in shock. Go ahead and tell them the rest."
Xavier looked at her, then at his team. "I've learned recently that I am not alone. I have a family. Damaris Elizabetta is my granddaughter."
The direct reaction of each of the X-Men is best left unsaid. Though most were happy and excited about the news, others demanded proof. It was less than what Xavier had expected, but a few words from Logan and Scott and the mood changed. Logan refused the caviar that Jean, Xavier, Evelyn, Storm, Scott and Lizzy were eating. "You just gotta know how to eat it," Lizzy said.
"I ain't eatin' fish eggs."
"They're good," Lizzy said. She grabbed a cracker spead some cream cheese on it, put a baby spoonful amount of the fish roe on top. She brought it closer to his mouth.
"I already told ya, I wasn't eatin' fish eggs!"
"Don't knock it till you try it," Scott said. "I'll take it if he won't."
So Lizzy fed Scott the cracker. Jubilee came over to her. "Can I try some?"
"Sure." Lizzy repeated the process of setting the cracker up. "Open up." In feeding Jubilee the cracker, just as she had Scott, it didn't seem like such a flirtatious move!
"Chase it with some of your sparkling grape juice, Jubilee," Evie said.
Jubilee's eyes got huge, then she smiled as she chewed it up. "Oh, my god! This is good!"
"I told ya," Lizzy said. "The cream cheese smooths out the grimy taste that follows the eggs, and the flavors explode in your mouth. Warren's brother chases it with straight alcohol, yuk! I think it ruins it. A little sparkling grape juice is just as good as the champagne."
"The flavors just explode in your mouth; it's awesome!"
Lizzy smiled at Jubilee and patted the seat next to her. "I'll share." Before she knew it, she had Rogue, Kitty, Bobby, Spyke, Piotr, Beast, Morph and Remy waiting to try it.
"Are yah sure yah won't try it, Logan," Rogue asked as she ate her second cracker.
He arched a brow. "Give me that," he said as Lizzy offered him a cracker filled with the delicacy.
She pulled it back. "Say it nice."
"Can I have it please?"
She smiled. "Yes. Open up."
He arched a brow, but leaned closer and opened his mouth. She slid the cracker onto his tongue and pulled her hand away. Logan's eyes never left hers as he chewed the stuff. He made a face, then kind of shook his head as if saying okay. Lizzy lifted her glass of sparkling grape juice in the air in a silent offer. He took it and finished it off, surprised that she'd been right about the fish eggs.
"You turd! Get me some more!"
Logan arched a brow as he swallowed the last of the food. "Say it nice, Darlin'."
It was the first time he'd called her that. She smiled up at him. "Would you get me some more, Logan? Please, since you finished mine off?" She added a pout and big puppy dog eyes.
Logan rolled his eyes as he walked out of the room to refill her glass with the sparkling grape juice. There was something about the way she'd looked at him, that heated the center of his gut.
The little dinner celebration turned into a real party after they'd finished off the caviar. There was music and dancing after dinner, which the younger of the X-Men had initiated. Lizzy was the center of attention, mostly because she was the reason of the party, but the X-Men did give Xavier attention as well, congratulating him. Xavier seemed pleased with the end result. Lizzy danced with Remy, as Bobby danced with Jubilee, Spyke danced with Kitty, Jean danced with Morph. The others didn't seem to want to dance. As Lizzy left the dance floor so did Remy. He went to Storm while Lizzy went to Scott.
She smiled up at him. "Come on, Pretty Boy; let's dance."
Scott arched a brow over the top of his glasses. Somehow her calling him that didn't bother him. "I'm not a dancer."
"Don't know how, or just don't?"
"Don't."
Lizzy reached out and took his hand. "Come on."
She didn't have to persuade him too much. As they reached the floor it was a slow song. "I can do this," he said with a smile as he pulled her closer.
Lizzy smiled as they began to dance. "Tell me something, why do you stay so closed up, so . . . tight?"
"Because I don't want to be Logan."
She stared at him. "You could never be Logan."
"I was once a lot like him. I was an angry kid, who didn't need nobody or nothing. I realized that though I couldn't control my mutation, it was a gift and I needed to do something with it. I stay so 'tight' to stay under control."
"Oh."
Evelyn leaned down to Xavier's ear. "I think our plan may be working. They'll be good for each other. Then the past can't repeat itself."
He looked up at her. "Yes," he said quietly and looked at them, then over at Logan who looked less than thrilled. He didn't leave the party. He could see that there was something changing about Logan, he only wished he could place what it was.
~ ~ ~
Jubilee and Kitty had gotten movies and Lizzy headed upstairs to see if Scott wanted to watch them with them. He hadn't been very social since they found out that Xavier was her grandfather. After the party something had changed in him, in his behavior. As she headed down the hall she heard Jean moan a soft seductive sound. Raising an eyebrow she headed for Scott's room and the sounds grew louder. As she reached the open door she became aware of why Jean was making such noises. Partially clothed Jean sat on top of a low vanity with Scott pulled up against her kissing her throat. She opened her eyes, looked at Lizzy and smiled triumphantly. Stunned, hurt and confused, Lizzy grabbed the door handle and slammed it shut behind her as she headed down the hall. She walked at almost a slow run down the hall and the stairs. She had no idea what she was going to do or where she was going to go, she just needed to get out of the mansion for a while.
Rogue who was waiting at the bottom looked up at her. "Hey, Gal, where's Cyclops?"
"Having sexual intercourse with Miss Jean Grey. Chalk it up to Marvel Girl, Rogue. She wins it all, I'm out of here." Lizzy walked past her then and right out the front door.
Logan had been working on his jeep the last couple of days. A motorcycle just wasn't practical in the winter time, so he had to get his jeep in running condition before winter hit. He smelled her coming, and the rage following her, but said nothing.
Liizy spotted him and smiled. "Hey, Logan."
He looked up then. "What can I do ya for, Amethyst." His wording chosen carefully.
"A ride."
"Ain't that what Cyclops is for?"
"I don't know, ask Jean in an hour. I need out of here now, and as far away as quickly as possible."
Logan grinned, wipping his hands on a grease rag. He could use the excuse to get out of here for a while. He tossed the rag, and pulled on his jacket. He made sure that Lizzy's jacket was zipped up. He jumped on the back of the bike that used to be Cyclops'. "Get on!"
Lizzy smiled and climbed onto the back of the motorcycle. This would be her first bike ride. She curled her arms around Logan's waist and leaned against him. "Let's get out of here."
Just then the door opened and Scott stood there with Rogue. Logan glanced over his shoulder at Cyclops then hit the gas.
"Lizzy!"
Rogue looked at him. "Nice job, Cyke. What did yah think yah were doing with Jean?"
Scott looked at her. "What are you talking about?"
"Lizzy saw yah."
"I've been with the professor in his office for that last three hours. What did she see?"
Rogue stared at him, then ran in the house and headed up the stairs with Scott on her heels. In Scott's room they found Jean and a newer recruit that they called shifter, making out. Scott stared at them for a few minutes, they were on his bed, well on their way. "Get out of my room," was all he could think to say.
Shifter and Jean looked at them. Shifter, shifted into Scott, and laughed like Morph. "We ruined your plans!"
Scott glared at him, his hand flying to his glasses.
Rogue grabbed his hand. "Let it go, Cyclops. We'll talk to the professor. I'm sure he knows how to straighten this out."
~ ~ ~
Lizzy and Logan stopped at a little cliff over looking Manhattan bay. It wasn't that far from the mansion, but it was quiet. "I'm not a substitute."
Lizzy studied him. "What are you talking about?"
"For Bug Eye."
"Nobody said you were. Look, I'll admit that I considered a relationship with Scott, but what's a girl left to do when her feelings aren't returned? It's been made obvious over the last week or so that the feeling isn't mutual."
"And you came to me because?"
Did he really have absolutly no clue? "You're fun. I was sure you'd know how to make me feel better. Besides misery loves company."
"Don't I know it."
Lizzy smiled. She sat facing him on a picnic bench. She reached out and touched his face. He was one good looking man. "Can I ask you somethin'?"
"What," he asked surprised at her gentle touch. She hadn't ever touched him other than during battling in the danger room.
"Why haven't you ever said anything about your desires?"
He arched a brow. He had no way of hiding his thoughts from her. It was almost frightening that she could know so much about him without him having to reveal it to her. "Because you're the professor's granddaughter. You're what 12-15 years younger that I look!"
"So! You hardly age. You could live for a hundred and fifty years easily. What's the point of going for a woman your own age? She'll die years before you do. You want my grandmother? She's only got what, ten-fifteen decent years left."
He cracked a half-grin. "Good point, but you're still a kid, Amethyst."
"I may be young, Logan, but I am not a kid. Twenty-two almost twenty-three years might not seem like much to you, but it means I'm old enough to make my own decisions, and this is my decision." She searched his eyes, then leaned closer to him. "Call it research." Her lips brushed over his, and she pulled away her eyes searching his.
Startled by the desire surging through him, Logan curled his fingers around the back of her neck. He pulled her closer and his lips closed over hers with great intensity and urgency. He slid closer to her lifting her legs up on top of his, and his arms curled around her waist. His tongue slipped into the warm velvety depth of her mouth.
Lizzy straightened leaning into the feel of him as her arms rose to circle his neck. A near forest fire built in the pit of her stomach, and every part of her body felt vitally alive. Her skin tingled and she longed for more than just a little heated kiss, on a park bench in Manhattan park, from this man. She lifted her lips from his breathlessly, and stared into his hazel eyes. "Let's find some place a little more private."
He groaned and nodded. As she stood and moved only far enough away from him to allow him to get up, she missed the heat of his body immediately. With her hand in his, Logan got to his feet and walked over to his bike. He slid into the seat and as soon as she was settled in behind him, he peeled tires getting out of there.
As they rode, picking their way carefully through the heavy traffic, Lizzy received a message from her grandfather. Her mind was open enough to his psychic waves that no special equipment was needed. He told her about Shifter and Jean, and that Scott wasn't involved. In the back of her mind, none of it mattered. She wasn't in love with Scott, and he wasn't in love with her. She knew that he was in love with Jean despite their past and heart-breaking break-up, but she couldn't tell her grandfather that. And she couldn't tell Logan the real reason she was on the back of this motorcycle with him. ("Thanks, Professor. I'll be back later.")
("Child, tell me this isn't...")
("Anything for you to worry about, Grandpa. I'm not acting out. Don't worry, Logan's only with me because you don't want me to be alone.")
"We're going out of town." Logan's voice penetrated the connection with her grandfather.
"New York city," she purred next to his ear.
Her attention focused then on Cyclops. She knew he would be with the professor, she could just imagine what was going on at the mansion. Everyone had to know by now that she had taken off with Logan after having found what she thought was Jean and Scott together. It was her life and she'd live it the way she wanted to, and pay the consequenses for it. She didn't even know what to say to Scott. When the words didn't just come to her mind, she chucked the idea. She could deal with Scott Summers later, right now all she was concerned with was the man on the motorcycle in front of her.
~ ~ ~
Logan loved the feel of her. The way her arms curled around him, and the feel of her body pressed to his. It was incredibly alluring, the way she snuggled up to him, as she whispered in his ear, over the roar of the motorcycle. He couldn't remember any one affecting him this way before. He stopped at a hotel in the heart of New York city. He'd passed by several cheap motels along the way. He wanted this to be somewhere nice, and a cheap motel wasn't nice. Not to mention the fact that he was giving her every opportunity to change her mind. As he eased off the bike, and Lizzy looked at him, he knew she wasn't going to change her mind. What was he doing here with her? It was crazy! She was the professor's granddaughter for crying out loud! But all of a sudden none of that seemed to matter.
"Let me do it. Get the bike in the parking garage."
He arched a brow. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
"I don't wanna leave you alone."
"Meet me in the lobby. It'll look better if you don't come up to the desk with me. The lady at the front desk is a friend of Gran's."
"All right, Darlin'."
Logan parked the bike where he knew no one would mess with it, then walked into the hotel lobby. He found himself feeling very out of place in the room surrounded by people in designer dresses and Armani suits. ("Twenty paces to the right. Take the elevator to the fifteenth floor. It's suite 737.") Logan grinned and took the directions he'd been given.
He found room 737 and knocked on the door. A second later the door opened. Logan peered in then stepped inside the lavish suite. The door closed and locked behind him. Lizzy sat on the edge of the bed waiting patiently. Logan stared at her awesome beauty. Her long black hair spilled around her shoulders and down her back like a veil. He could smell the slight scent of her sensual Jasmine perfume. There was such a welcoming, expectant look in her eyes, that it tugged at his heart. Stopping in the living room area, he pulled off his jacket and laid it across the back of the couch, then moved toward the bed. His heart was in his throat as he looked at her. Something warned him against this, but there was no turning back now, not for him. He hated to admit it, but he'd longed for this very thing from her, for some time now. The only difference between this and his fantasy, was where they were. He'd fantasied about them in his room, next to Scott's. Let old Bug Eye hear them, then maybe he'd know what it had been like for him. He stopped the regretful voice that bugged him. Screw Scott Summers and what he did or didn't know. This here with Lizzy wasn't any one else's business and it never needed to be! The radio played softly in the back ground. Heaven by Warrent, Stand By Me by Ben E. King, Holding Out For A Hero by Bonnie Tyler, Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now by Starship, Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx, Save The Best For Last by Vanessa Williams, Hungry Eyes, A Little Bit More by Dr. Hook, The Power Of Love by Celine Dion, Annie's Song by John Denver, Kiss From A Rose by Seal, Lost In Your Eyes by Debbie Gibson, Angel Eyes by Jeff Healey, Whatever You Do! Don't! by Shania Twain, Surrender- It's Now or Never- Suspicious Minds by Elvis, Makin' Love Out Of Nothing At All- Two Less Lonely People, Sweet Dreams, by Air Supply, Friend and Lovers, I Can't Fight This Feeling-REO Speedwagon, and Hero by Enrique Iglesias, were just a few that played for them.
Lizzy lay wrapped in Logan's arms. His hand on her stomach, and his head next to her shoulder. For whatever reason he'd left a good size hicky on the curve of her shoulder as though he was branding her his territory or something. It was where his mouth still rested, though he was deep asleep now. She dared not move, and she hated for this to end. Filled with such complete love and fully satisfied, she never wanted to go home. His body curled against hers, and his leg between hers, she wanted to stay tangled in the sheets with him forever. He felt so good. He never had to say anything, just the way he touched her, and held her made her feel so safe, and loved. He groaned deep in his throat. She laced her fingers through the the fingers of the hand that lay over her flat belly. The satin sheets surrounding them. Tears burned her eyes as she knew this had been a mistake. Logan had yet to learn that he was the first, and she swore never to tell him. There would be too many questions raised in his mind and he'd feel guilty. He may even accuse her of trying to trap him, and she couldn't take that. She knew that nothing could or would ever come of this relationship between herself and Logan. He was too far removed from her world, and too loyal to her grandfather to be hers. A sudden hurt and guilt surged through her. This had been one huge mistake! She turned her face further into the pillow, and bit down on her lip to keep the sob from escaping her throat. She'd given herself to a man that could never be hers, and it hurt so much. It was a bitter sweet moment when he groaned her name. She had to stop this. Logan wasn't stupid! If he even sensed her pain he'd wake and become the gruff 'don't touch me' man she'd first met. She didn't want that. She couldn't have that, not after what had happened between them. Careful of her movements she lifted her hand and wipped her tears away. She needed sleep, that would make everything okay.
Logan lay curled against Lizzy, his heart on his sleeve. The events of a few hours ago flashed renewed through his mind, and he cursed himself. He hadn't meant to hurt her! If only he had known she was a virgin, he never would have laid a hand on her! A young innocent thing like her, never could be happy with an old soldier like himself. He'd only ever cause her pain. He'd caused her pain the day he'd met her. She'd run to him because she was hurt, though she didn't seem very hurt, or even angry once they'd reached Manhatten Park. She'd run to him for comfort, and he'd taken advantage of her vulnerability. He'd had no delusions about what this was between them, but did she really know? Could she have any idea what the consequenses of this night were? That she could never take it back, no matter what she did? She'd been so ready and willing, eager even for him. He should have stuck with his first instincts. She was just a kid, whether she argued it with him or not, twenty-two years, just wasn't long enough to know what she should and shouldn't be doing. He hated himself for taking her innocence. Oh, God, he'd made her a woman when all he'd been looking for was to ease and ache in his d---ed flesh! He looked over at her. The gentle sound of her slumber filling his ears, the radio still playing in the back ground. She'd chosen the radio station to play while he'd been worried about getting the bike put up. He knew now that it wasn't a radio station, she'd programed the room's sound system to play certain songs from CDs in the player. Her grandmother owned this hotel, and this suite was hers. He hadn't realized that she was rich until now. He reached up and brushed a lock of hair out of her face. She looked so beautiful sleeping softly and being so vulnerable to him. He hated that he had been the one she'd chosen. She deserved her first time with a man to be extra special. With a man that could love her and give her everything she deserved. Though he more than hated to admit it, she deserved to be with someone like Bug Eye, or even that Warren guy. There'd been something in that man's voice that told him that he cared about her. This was a day he'd never forget, as long as he lived. She had been so responsive to his sweet torture that he hadn't been able to resist himself. Though something in him had warned him against being with her, he hadn't listened. He cursed himself again, hating to be put in this position. He'd done some stupid things in his time, but this had to be the dumbest. He'd taken a girl to a hotel, made her a woman, and then he'd leave her. D---it, why couldn't she be more like Jean?! If she was like Jean, he wouldn't be here with her. He could just imagine what Chuck would have to say if he found out. He'd go nuts. And he'd deserve everything that Chuck said about him. The song She's Like The Wind from Dirty Dancing played on the stereo, and Logan groaned. What had they been thinking? He knew all about her ideas of how every man in her life had let her down. Had she thought that he wasn't going to if she played by his rules? The d--- rules in this game weren't his!
"She's like the wind, through my trees. She rides the night next to me. She lead me through moon light, only to burn me with the sun. She's taken my heart, but she doens't know what she's done. I feel her breath on my face, her body close to me, can't look in her eyes, she's out of my league. Just a fool to believe I have anything she needs. She's like the wind. I look in the mirror and all I see, is a young old man with only a dream. Am I just fooling myself that she'll stop the pain. Living without her I'll go insane. I feel her breath on my face, her body close to me, can't look in her eyes, she's out of my league. Just a fool to believe I have anything she needs. She's like the wind. I feel your breath on my face, your body close to me, can't look in your eyes, you're out of my league. Just a fool to believe (just a fool to believe) she's like the wind. Just a fool to believe. (juat a fool to believe) she's like the wind."
He lowered his lips to the mark he'd left on her shoulder, as the music faded, and she stirred. He watched her quietly wanting to remember this moment forever. This moment, her response to him now would determine what their relationship would be from here on out. He doubted he could live in the mansion next to her every single day and never touch her again, but he could deal with that when the time came. He'd made this choice and he'd have to live with it, no matter what the consequences.
She moaned softly leaning into him. It was a delicious sound to Logan's ears, and his arms tightened around her. She turned smiling up at him. She looked at him through partially closed eyes. "Morning," she whispered, barely opening her mouth.
He glanced out the window, his fingers brushing caressingly across her cheek, then over her full lips. His touch was so soft and gentle it was almost lovingly. He'd give anything for this not to end. He couldn't pull his hand away as he spoke, "It's still night. Seven thirty to be exact. You can go back to sleep for a while."
She sat up, ignoring his embrace, clutching the sheet. "We gotta get back. Can we be there in half an hour or so?"
He nodded disappointed. What else had he expected? She had known exactly what she was getting into. She'd suggested they come here, knowing exactly what was going to happen. He should be glad she wasn't acting all lovey and saying stupid things like 'I love you'. But somehow he was disappointed that she hadn't. She wanted no strings attached to this time here. He groaned suddenly realizing that he did. "Get dressed."
Lizzy turned and looked at him. Her fingers rising to his cheek. She brushed her fingers across his skin, then leaned back and kissed him. A bitter sweet kiss. "I think we need to talk about this on the way home."
"Yeah, I guess so."
As they dressed, neither said much. Lizzy did her best to get her hair back into the same style it had been in when they left the mansion. She hadn't ever wore much make-up so she didn't have to worry about that. She groaned when her hair refused to cooperate. "As far as they know we've been on a bike for the last five hours. You can leave it down."
Lizzy looked at Logan. She wanted to cry at the lost look in his hazel eyes. Her heart lurched at the thought that it was her fault. The man had suffered so much in his life time. The last thing she wanted was to be the cause of more. "If this changes too much, or hurts . . . I'll erase it from your memory. The last thing I want is to cause you more pain."
"Don't you dare! This was my choice as much as it was yours."
She cocked her head to the side as she studied him, but only for a moment. She grabbed her coat, and headed for the door.
~ ~ ~
The ride back to the mansion was quiet. Lizzy didn't say much as she sat on the back of Logan's motorcycle. Her arms were loosely curled around his waist, as she laid her head against the back of his jacket. Logan wasn't driving too heavily over the speed limit, trying to hurry back to the mansion, but Lizzy kept her magnetic abilities in open use in case they were picked up by a cop. He hadn't said anything since they'd left the room. ("I can't say this, looking you in the eye, so don't turn around, just listen.")
Logan stared a head of him, then nodded giving her the okay. He already knew. She was going to confirm what he'd thought. She'd used him to get her little 'problem' out of the way. It wasn't so much that he hated being used by her, but he hated that it meant absolutely nothing to her. She'd proven that with her behavior when they'd gotten up.
("The professor sent me a message, not long after we left the city limits. . . . It wasn't Scott that I saw with Jean, it was Shifter. They were trying to get rid of me.") She felt the tension that entered him, and how cold he suddenly became. ("I didn't use you, Logan; not to get even with Scott anyway. I know that you and I could never have a real life together, but I . . . I love you. I would never do anything to hurt you like that, I just needed this one thing from you, before I let go of what I feel for you. I know it's wrong, but it's the only thing I'll ever be able to take away from you, when I leave to find my father. You have to believe that I didn't intend to use you or hurt you. Say you believe me.")
"I can't say what isn't true. I won't say it!"
She nodded slightly as she stared into the back of his head. She bit her lip, to stop the sob that crept into her throat. She knew she had hurt him, and she hated that. She had made the choice, and it was her fault he was hurting now. This entire night was one huge mistake, she'd never live down. She should have known better than to simply give in to the pull of the flesh. It hadn't been her heart that had led her into Logan's arm, though that was where she longed to be. She closed her eyes, and lifted her lips close to his ear.
Logan's body jerked as her breath skated across his neck. The two soft words she spoke shook him to his soul. He knew she meant it, and he hated the tears in her voice. He'd hurt her because her words cut him. Taking one hand off the handle bars of the bike, he closed his fingers over hers. If he concentrated hard enough and aimed his thoughts at her she'd hear him. Though he'd never had to try very hard before, this time it was important. ("I know you are. I believe you mean it, Amethyst. I hate to hear you cry, Darlin'.") Her arms tightened around him, and she leaned against him as they rode. He smiled at the feel of her so close to him. The radio on the bike played as they rode. The song Heaven by Warrent was blaring from the speakers. The memory of hearing that song only a few hours earlier flashed through Logan's mind, and he had to smile. ("I don't need to be the king of the world, as long as I'm the hero of this little girl. . . . How I love the way you move and the sparkle in your eyes, there's color deep inside like the blue suburban sky. When I come home late at night and your in bed asleep. And I'll wrap my arms around you so I can feel you breathe. I don't need to be a super man, as long as you will always be my biggest fan. Heaven isn't too far away.")
Lizzy smiled. He was thinking the lines of the song and trying to send his thoughts at her. She leaned up close to his ear. Her lips on the lobe. "You are my hero, Logan. No matter what happens you always will be."
~ ~ ~
As Logan pulled the bike to a halt outside the mansion, Lizzy knew their behavior would have to return to the way it had been before they'd left. She took a breath, wearing a smile and slid off the bike. She stood with him, waiting for him shut the bike down and climb off. ("I'm gonna go inside. They can't know what-.")
"You don't need to tell me, Darlin'. I know. Thanks."
"For what." His grin said it all. She'd made him feel good in the way she treated him. She turned then and walked up the steps. She was surprised that she wasn't bombarded with X-Men as she came in the house. They had to know she'd run off with Logan.
Logan was only a few steps behind her. "Where is everyone?"
"Minding their own business."
"Good." He brushed past her into the house.
Lizzy smiled and shut the door. She walked into the first livingroom where she found the other X-Men. She waved at Rogue, who jumped up and followed after her. The two had begun sharing a room since Lizzy joined the team. They were half way up the stairs when, Evie appeared at the top. Rogue looked at Lizzy. "Ah'll see ya."
Rogue hurried up the stairs and to the room they shared. Lizzy walked up the stairs and came face to face with her grandmother. "Are you all right?"
"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?"
"You took off. It's been hours. I know you were hurt. . ."
Lizzy stared at her grandmother. The last thing she needed was this, but what had she expected? Her grandmother was doing everything she could to push her together with Scott. She looked her in the eye. "Hurt by what? Grandpa told me what was going on. Besides nobody ever lets me out of this house except in a group! So I took off for a few hours. Logan's good company!"
"Then you're not upset?"
"No. I'm actually in a good mood. Gran, I'm under no delusions here, and I won't lie, my pride was wounded when I thought it was Scott with Jean, but who's wouldn't be? I'm not hurt by it, I know the truth and I'll talk to Scott in the morning."
"No, you need to talk to him now. He's been worried about you."
Lizzy looked at her, surprised by her command. "Fine. I'll talk to him." She turned and walked toward Scott's room. She walked right into the room, knowing her grandmother was only a few steps behind her, and shut then locked the door.
~ Part Four ~
Lizzy had grown pretty close to the X-Men. They were a lot like family to her. She spent a lot of time with Rogue, Storm, Kitty and Jubilee. Jean was a little too closed off. She even spent time with some of the guys. She enjoyed spending time with the professor as well. His attitude toward her had changed since they'd gone to the mall almost six months ago now. Her grandmother had even changed. Deciding that it was time she was given some answers, she set aside a time to talk to the professor during a training session. As the other X-Men were training in the danger room, she sat in Xavier's office studying him. She hadn't yet attempted to break the barrier he kept up. He'd told her several times that she was more than capable of doing so, but she hadn't tried. If he lied to her today, or tried to hide the truth from her, she'd break it. She couldn't stand any more lies; she needed the truth of her family history. "You promised me when I first came to the mansion that you wouldn't keep secrets from me. I have to know the truth about who my grandfather is and who my father is. I won't take them from my grandmother's head, because she made a promise to my dying mother." She paused for a breath. "Do you know who they are?"
Xavier studied her. "I do."
Butterflies bounced in her stomach. "Are you going to tell me?"
"I promised you no secrets. I never promised to keep your grandmother's."
She nodded. That was his way of saying yes. "Let's start with the longest kept then. Who's my grandfather?"
Charles took a deep breath. "A man who foolishly waited until it was too late to ask for your grandmother's hand in marriage. Elizabetta, I am your grandfather."
Lizzy stared at him. She couldn't believe her ears. Charles Xavier was her grandfather? Her grandmother had been keeping this secret from her for all these years? Why? Xavier was a good man and a highly respected mutant rights activist. He'd done so much for their kind. Everything he did was to help mutants and humans alike. How could she have kept this secret from her? She studied him, having a hard time understanding why her grandmother would keep this from her. "You?"
"That's right. I had waited to ask your grandmother to marry me because her father was sick and it didn't seem like the right time. During a summer break I decided that I couldn't wait any longer, but I was too late. She'd gone away to another school or so I was told. I didn't know about your mother. I'd had no idea, Evie was . . . Your grandmother has only just confirmed it to me a couple of days ago."
She stared at him. "How long have you suspected it then?"
"Six months now, the day you and all the others left for the mall. I truly wish I had known about your mother."
"Would things have been different?"
"Greatly."
She studied him intrigued. "What do you mean?"
"You wouldn't be alive, Lizzy. Your mother wouldn't have . . . no I can't say that. Your father would not have been your father and it's a likely possibility that you wouldn't be a mutant at all, or not a very powerful one. And in that case I'm fairly sure that your mother would still be alive."
She sat back in the chair absorbing all that he was telling her. Shock was all she could feel at this moment. To have her mother around . . . Suddenly she looked at him. "Wait a minute. You're trying to tell me that my father's a mutant? Not just an ordinary one, but a very powerful one - just like you?"
"Yes, but I will not tell you who he is, that much I have promised Evie."
She ran her hands through her hair, just as she always did when nervous or anxious - something she and Logan had in common. He didn't have to tell her who her father was, she knew. The X-Men talked too much about Magneto and how he and Xavier were the most powerful mutants in existence - with the exception of a little Scottish boy named Kevin. "So, this explains the changes. What does it mean?"
"That I can not say. This has to be your choice. There is so much more that you can do to expand your gifts. If you wish to stay I will help you, but . . ."
"I meant with you and I, Professor. You're my grandfather - that changes our relationship. We're not student and teacher anymore, and you're not just a man seeing my grandmother. So are we grandfather and grandchild, or friends or teacher and student?"
"Can we not be all three?"
Lizzy studied him. "I don't know. I've always been pretty accepting of things, so I don't think I'll have A LOT of adjusting to do. I kind of like the idea of you being my grandfather. It's more than I could have hoped for. At least I got to know who and what you're all about before this bombshell was dropped."
Xavier smiled, touched by her words. He'd longed to share this news with her. He was thrilled that she had taken it so well. "I'll leave it up to you to share the news with the others."
Lizzy's eyes got huge. "I never even thought of it. Wow. I think dinner would be a good time. The sooner it's out in the open the better; don't you think?"
"Yes, I do. Shall we order in take-out from Little Italy, or Wolfgang's, or somewhere else?"
Lizzy smiled. "Something extra special from Wolfgang's I think. Shrimp, and caviar maybe."
Xavier smiled. "I think this occasion calls for it."
~ ~ ~
At dinner Lizzy sat next to the professor at the very end of one side of the table. All of the X-Men were surprised to see the food that was laid out before them. They had expected something hearty and more countrified when Xavier had said take-out. But this was top of the line! Alaskan salmon filets smothered in a white butter sauce, jumbo shrimp, stuffed jumbo mushrooms with a diced sauteed mushroom sauce, crab legs, lobster tails, sauteed vegetables, with sparkling grape juice and caviar.
Jean looked at the food. "What's all this."
"A celebration. Please have a seat." As each of the X-Men took their seats, Xavier's smile grew. He looked over at Lizzy. "Shall I tell them?"
"Be my guest."
The X-Men stared at them. "Lizzy has decided to join the team."
The stares just became more intense. Some said congratulations, others just shrugged. They'd expected as much with all the training she'd done in the danger room. "So you're throwing a party," Jean asked.
"That's not the only reason; no," Xavier said. "But I was expecting a little more enthusiasm."
Lizzy reached over and touched his arm. "It's not important. I think everyone's just in shock. Go ahead and tell them the rest."
Xavier looked at her, then at his team. "I've learned recently that I am not alone. I have a family. Damaris Elizabetta is my granddaughter."
The direct reaction of each of the X-Men is best left unsaid. Though most were happy and excited about the news, others demanded proof. It was less than what Xavier had expected, but a few words from Logan and Scott and the mood changed. Logan refused the caviar that Jean, Xavier, Evelyn, Storm, Scott and Lizzy were eating. "You just gotta know how to eat it," Lizzy said.
"I ain't eatin' fish eggs."
"They're good," Lizzy said. She grabbed a cracker spead some cream cheese on it, put a baby spoonful amount of the fish roe on top. She brought it closer to his mouth.
"I already told ya, I wasn't eatin' fish eggs!"
"Don't knock it till you try it," Scott said. "I'll take it if he won't."
So Lizzy fed Scott the cracker. Jubilee came over to her. "Can I try some?"
"Sure." Lizzy repeated the process of setting the cracker up. "Open up." In feeding Jubilee the cracker, just as she had Scott, it didn't seem like such a flirtatious move!
"Chase it with some of your sparkling grape juice, Jubilee," Evie said.
Jubilee's eyes got huge, then she smiled as she chewed it up. "Oh, my god! This is good!"
"I told ya," Lizzy said. "The cream cheese smooths out the grimy taste that follows the eggs, and the flavors explode in your mouth. Warren's brother chases it with straight alcohol, yuk! I think it ruins it. A little sparkling grape juice is just as good as the champagne."
"The flavors just explode in your mouth; it's awesome!"
Lizzy smiled at Jubilee and patted the seat next to her. "I'll share." Before she knew it, she had Rogue, Kitty, Bobby, Spyke, Piotr, Beast, Morph and Remy waiting to try it.
"Are yah sure yah won't try it, Logan," Rogue asked as she ate her second cracker.
He arched a brow. "Give me that," he said as Lizzy offered him a cracker filled with the delicacy.
She pulled it back. "Say it nice."
"Can I have it please?"
She smiled. "Yes. Open up."
He arched a brow, but leaned closer and opened his mouth. She slid the cracker onto his tongue and pulled her hand away. Logan's eyes never left hers as he chewed the stuff. He made a face, then kind of shook his head as if saying okay. Lizzy lifted her glass of sparkling grape juice in the air in a silent offer. He took it and finished it off, surprised that she'd been right about the fish eggs.
"You turd! Get me some more!"
Logan arched a brow as he swallowed the last of the food. "Say it nice, Darlin'."
It was the first time he'd called her that. She smiled up at him. "Would you get me some more, Logan? Please, since you finished mine off?" She added a pout and big puppy dog eyes.
Logan rolled his eyes as he walked out of the room to refill her glass with the sparkling grape juice. There was something about the way she'd looked at him, that heated the center of his gut.
The little dinner celebration turned into a real party after they'd finished off the caviar. There was music and dancing after dinner, which the younger of the X-Men had initiated. Lizzy was the center of attention, mostly because she was the reason of the party, but the X-Men did give Xavier attention as well, congratulating him. Xavier seemed pleased with the end result. Lizzy danced with Remy, as Bobby danced with Jubilee, Spyke danced with Kitty, Jean danced with Morph. The others didn't seem to want to dance. As Lizzy left the dance floor so did Remy. He went to Storm while Lizzy went to Scott.
She smiled up at him. "Come on, Pretty Boy; let's dance."
Scott arched a brow over the top of his glasses. Somehow her calling him that didn't bother him. "I'm not a dancer."
"Don't know how, or just don't?"
"Don't."
Lizzy reached out and took his hand. "Come on."
She didn't have to persuade him too much. As they reached the floor it was a slow song. "I can do this," he said with a smile as he pulled her closer.
Lizzy smiled as they began to dance. "Tell me something, why do you stay so closed up, so . . . tight?"
"Because I don't want to be Logan."
She stared at him. "You could never be Logan."
"I was once a lot like him. I was an angry kid, who didn't need nobody or nothing. I realized that though I couldn't control my mutation, it was a gift and I needed to do something with it. I stay so 'tight' to stay under control."
"Oh."
Evelyn leaned down to Xavier's ear. "I think our plan may be working. They'll be good for each other. Then the past can't repeat itself."
He looked up at her. "Yes," he said quietly and looked at them, then over at Logan who looked less than thrilled. He didn't leave the party. He could see that there was something changing about Logan, he only wished he could place what it was.
~ ~ ~
Jubilee and Kitty had gotten movies and Lizzy headed upstairs to see if Scott wanted to watch them with them. He hadn't been very social since they found out that Xavier was her grandfather. After the party something had changed in him, in his behavior. As she headed down the hall she heard Jean moan a soft seductive sound. Raising an eyebrow she headed for Scott's room and the sounds grew louder. As she reached the open door she became aware of why Jean was making such noises. Partially clothed Jean sat on top of a low vanity with Scott pulled up against her kissing her throat. She opened her eyes, looked at Lizzy and smiled triumphantly. Stunned, hurt and confused, Lizzy grabbed the door handle and slammed it shut behind her as she headed down the hall. She walked at almost a slow run down the hall and the stairs. She had no idea what she was going to do or where she was going to go, she just needed to get out of the mansion for a while.
Rogue who was waiting at the bottom looked up at her. "Hey, Gal, where's Cyclops?"
"Having sexual intercourse with Miss Jean Grey. Chalk it up to Marvel Girl, Rogue. She wins it all, I'm out of here." Lizzy walked past her then and right out the front door.
Logan had been working on his jeep the last couple of days. A motorcycle just wasn't practical in the winter time, so he had to get his jeep in running condition before winter hit. He smelled her coming, and the rage following her, but said nothing.
Liizy spotted him and smiled. "Hey, Logan."
He looked up then. "What can I do ya for, Amethyst." His wording chosen carefully.
"A ride."
"Ain't that what Cyclops is for?"
"I don't know, ask Jean in an hour. I need out of here now, and as far away as quickly as possible."
Logan grinned, wipping his hands on a grease rag. He could use the excuse to get out of here for a while. He tossed the rag, and pulled on his jacket. He made sure that Lizzy's jacket was zipped up. He jumped on the back of the bike that used to be Cyclops'. "Get on!"
Lizzy smiled and climbed onto the back of the motorcycle. This would be her first bike ride. She curled her arms around Logan's waist and leaned against him. "Let's get out of here."
Just then the door opened and Scott stood there with Rogue. Logan glanced over his shoulder at Cyclops then hit the gas.
"Lizzy!"
Rogue looked at him. "Nice job, Cyke. What did yah think yah were doing with Jean?"
Scott looked at her. "What are you talking about?"
"Lizzy saw yah."
"I've been with the professor in his office for that last three hours. What did she see?"
Rogue stared at him, then ran in the house and headed up the stairs with Scott on her heels. In Scott's room they found Jean and a newer recruit that they called shifter, making out. Scott stared at them for a few minutes, they were on his bed, well on their way. "Get out of my room," was all he could think to say.
Shifter and Jean looked at them. Shifter, shifted into Scott, and laughed like Morph. "We ruined your plans!"
Scott glared at him, his hand flying to his glasses.
Rogue grabbed his hand. "Let it go, Cyclops. We'll talk to the professor. I'm sure he knows how to straighten this out."
~ ~ ~
Lizzy and Logan stopped at a little cliff over looking Manhattan bay. It wasn't that far from the mansion, but it was quiet. "I'm not a substitute."
Lizzy studied him. "What are you talking about?"
"For Bug Eye."
"Nobody said you were. Look, I'll admit that I considered a relationship with Scott, but what's a girl left to do when her feelings aren't returned? It's been made obvious over the last week or so that the feeling isn't mutual."
"And you came to me because?"
Did he really have absolutly no clue? "You're fun. I was sure you'd know how to make me feel better. Besides misery loves company."
"Don't I know it."
Lizzy smiled. She sat facing him on a picnic bench. She reached out and touched his face. He was one good looking man. "Can I ask you somethin'?"
"What," he asked surprised at her gentle touch. She hadn't ever touched him other than during battling in the danger room.
"Why haven't you ever said anything about your desires?"
He arched a brow. He had no way of hiding his thoughts from her. It was almost frightening that she could know so much about him without him having to reveal it to her. "Because you're the professor's granddaughter. You're what 12-15 years younger that I look!"
"So! You hardly age. You could live for a hundred and fifty years easily. What's the point of going for a woman your own age? She'll die years before you do. You want my grandmother? She's only got what, ten-fifteen decent years left."
He cracked a half-grin. "Good point, but you're still a kid, Amethyst."
"I may be young, Logan, but I am not a kid. Twenty-two almost twenty-three years might not seem like much to you, but it means I'm old enough to make my own decisions, and this is my decision." She searched his eyes, then leaned closer to him. "Call it research." Her lips brushed over his, and she pulled away her eyes searching his.
Startled by the desire surging through him, Logan curled his fingers around the back of her neck. He pulled her closer and his lips closed over hers with great intensity and urgency. He slid closer to her lifting her legs up on top of his, and his arms curled around her waist. His tongue slipped into the warm velvety depth of her mouth.
Lizzy straightened leaning into the feel of him as her arms rose to circle his neck. A near forest fire built in the pit of her stomach, and every part of her body felt vitally alive. Her skin tingled and she longed for more than just a little heated kiss, on a park bench in Manhattan park, from this man. She lifted her lips from his breathlessly, and stared into his hazel eyes. "Let's find some place a little more private."
He groaned and nodded. As she stood and moved only far enough away from him to allow him to get up, she missed the heat of his body immediately. With her hand in his, Logan got to his feet and walked over to his bike. He slid into the seat and as soon as she was settled in behind him, he peeled tires getting out of there.
As they rode, picking their way carefully through the heavy traffic, Lizzy received a message from her grandfather. Her mind was open enough to his psychic waves that no special equipment was needed. He told her about Shifter and Jean, and that Scott wasn't involved. In the back of her mind, none of it mattered. She wasn't in love with Scott, and he wasn't in love with her. She knew that he was in love with Jean despite their past and heart-breaking break-up, but she couldn't tell her grandfather that. And she couldn't tell Logan the real reason she was on the back of this motorcycle with him. ("Thanks, Professor. I'll be back later.")
("Child, tell me this isn't...")
("Anything for you to worry about, Grandpa. I'm not acting out. Don't worry, Logan's only with me because you don't want me to be alone.")
"We're going out of town." Logan's voice penetrated the connection with her grandfather.
"New York city," she purred next to his ear.
Her attention focused then on Cyclops. She knew he would be with the professor, she could just imagine what was going on at the mansion. Everyone had to know by now that she had taken off with Logan after having found what she thought was Jean and Scott together. It was her life and she'd live it the way she wanted to, and pay the consequenses for it. She didn't even know what to say to Scott. When the words didn't just come to her mind, she chucked the idea. She could deal with Scott Summers later, right now all she was concerned with was the man on the motorcycle in front of her.
~ ~ ~
Logan loved the feel of her. The way her arms curled around him, and the feel of her body pressed to his. It was incredibly alluring, the way she snuggled up to him, as she whispered in his ear, over the roar of the motorcycle. He couldn't remember any one affecting him this way before. He stopped at a hotel in the heart of New York city. He'd passed by several cheap motels along the way. He wanted this to be somewhere nice, and a cheap motel wasn't nice. Not to mention the fact that he was giving her every opportunity to change her mind. As he eased off the bike, and Lizzy looked at him, he knew she wasn't going to change her mind. What was he doing here with her? It was crazy! She was the professor's granddaughter for crying out loud! But all of a sudden none of that seemed to matter.
"Let me do it. Get the bike in the parking garage."
He arched a brow. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
"I don't wanna leave you alone."
"Meet me in the lobby. It'll look better if you don't come up to the desk with me. The lady at the front desk is a friend of Gran's."
"All right, Darlin'."
Logan parked the bike where he knew no one would mess with it, then walked into the hotel lobby. He found himself feeling very out of place in the room surrounded by people in designer dresses and Armani suits. ("Twenty paces to the right. Take the elevator to the fifteenth floor. It's suite 737.") Logan grinned and took the directions he'd been given.
He found room 737 and knocked on the door. A second later the door opened. Logan peered in then stepped inside the lavish suite. The door closed and locked behind him. Lizzy sat on the edge of the bed waiting patiently. Logan stared at her awesome beauty. Her long black hair spilled around her shoulders and down her back like a veil. He could smell the slight scent of her sensual Jasmine perfume. There was such a welcoming, expectant look in her eyes, that it tugged at his heart. Stopping in the living room area, he pulled off his jacket and laid it across the back of the couch, then moved toward the bed. His heart was in his throat as he looked at her. Something warned him against this, but there was no turning back now, not for him. He hated to admit it, but he'd longed for this very thing from her, for some time now. The only difference between this and his fantasy, was where they were. He'd fantasied about them in his room, next to Scott's. Let old Bug Eye hear them, then maybe he'd know what it had been like for him. He stopped the regretful voice that bugged him. Screw Scott Summers and what he did or didn't know. This here with Lizzy wasn't any one else's business and it never needed to be! The radio played softly in the back ground. Heaven by Warrent, Stand By Me by Ben E. King, Holding Out For A Hero by Bonnie Tyler, Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now by Starship, Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx, Save The Best For Last by Vanessa Williams, Hungry Eyes, A Little Bit More by Dr. Hook, The Power Of Love by Celine Dion, Annie's Song by John Denver, Kiss From A Rose by Seal, Lost In Your Eyes by Debbie Gibson, Angel Eyes by Jeff Healey, Whatever You Do! Don't! by Shania Twain, Surrender- It's Now or Never- Suspicious Minds by Elvis, Makin' Love Out Of Nothing At All- Two Less Lonely People, Sweet Dreams, by Air Supply, Friend and Lovers, I Can't Fight This Feeling-REO Speedwagon, and Hero by Enrique Iglesias, were just a few that played for them.
Lizzy lay wrapped in Logan's arms. His hand on her stomach, and his head next to her shoulder. For whatever reason he'd left a good size hicky on the curve of her shoulder as though he was branding her his territory or something. It was where his mouth still rested, though he was deep asleep now. She dared not move, and she hated for this to end. Filled with such complete love and fully satisfied, she never wanted to go home. His body curled against hers, and his leg between hers, she wanted to stay tangled in the sheets with him forever. He felt so good. He never had to say anything, just the way he touched her, and held her made her feel so safe, and loved. He groaned deep in his throat. She laced her fingers through the the fingers of the hand that lay over her flat belly. The satin sheets surrounding them. Tears burned her eyes as she knew this had been a mistake. Logan had yet to learn that he was the first, and she swore never to tell him. There would be too many questions raised in his mind and he'd feel guilty. He may even accuse her of trying to trap him, and she couldn't take that. She knew that nothing could or would ever come of this relationship between herself and Logan. He was too far removed from her world, and too loyal to her grandfather to be hers. A sudden hurt and guilt surged through her. This had been one huge mistake! She turned her face further into the pillow, and bit down on her lip to keep the sob from escaping her throat. She'd given herself to a man that could never be hers, and it hurt so much. It was a bitter sweet moment when he groaned her name. She had to stop this. Logan wasn't stupid! If he even sensed her pain he'd wake and become the gruff 'don't touch me' man she'd first met. She didn't want that. She couldn't have that, not after what had happened between them. Careful of her movements she lifted her hand and wipped her tears away. She needed sleep, that would make everything okay.
Logan lay curled against Lizzy, his heart on his sleeve. The events of a few hours ago flashed renewed through his mind, and he cursed himself. He hadn't meant to hurt her! If only he had known she was a virgin, he never would have laid a hand on her! A young innocent thing like her, never could be happy with an old soldier like himself. He'd only ever cause her pain. He'd caused her pain the day he'd met her. She'd run to him because she was hurt, though she didn't seem very hurt, or even angry once they'd reached Manhatten Park. She'd run to him for comfort, and he'd taken advantage of her vulnerability. He'd had no delusions about what this was between them, but did she really know? Could she have any idea what the consequenses of this night were? That she could never take it back, no matter what she did? She'd been so ready and willing, eager even for him. He should have stuck with his first instincts. She was just a kid, whether she argued it with him or not, twenty-two years, just wasn't long enough to know what she should and shouldn't be doing. He hated himself for taking her innocence. Oh, God, he'd made her a woman when all he'd been looking for was to ease and ache in his d---ed flesh! He looked over at her. The gentle sound of her slumber filling his ears, the radio still playing in the back ground. She'd chosen the radio station to play while he'd been worried about getting the bike put up. He knew now that it wasn't a radio station, she'd programed the room's sound system to play certain songs from CDs in the player. Her grandmother owned this hotel, and this suite was hers. He hadn't realized that she was rich until now. He reached up and brushed a lock of hair out of her face. She looked so beautiful sleeping softly and being so vulnerable to him. He hated that he had been the one she'd chosen. She deserved her first time with a man to be extra special. With a man that could love her and give her everything she deserved. Though he more than hated to admit it, she deserved to be with someone like Bug Eye, or even that Warren guy. There'd been something in that man's voice that told him that he cared about her. This was a day he'd never forget, as long as he lived. She had been so responsive to his sweet torture that he hadn't been able to resist himself. Though something in him had warned him against being with her, he hadn't listened. He cursed himself again, hating to be put in this position. He'd done some stupid things in his time, but this had to be the dumbest. He'd taken a girl to a hotel, made her a woman, and then he'd leave her. D---it, why couldn't she be more like Jean?! If she was like Jean, he wouldn't be here with her. He could just imagine what Chuck would have to say if he found out. He'd go nuts. And he'd deserve everything that Chuck said about him. The song She's Like The Wind from Dirty Dancing played on the stereo, and Logan groaned. What had they been thinking? He knew all about her ideas of how every man in her life had let her down. Had she thought that he wasn't going to if she played by his rules? The d--- rules in this game weren't his!
"She's like the wind, through my trees. She rides the night next to me. She lead me through moon light, only to burn me with the sun. She's taken my heart, but she doens't know what she's done. I feel her breath on my face, her body close to me, can't look in her eyes, she's out of my league. Just a fool to believe I have anything she needs. She's like the wind. I look in the mirror and all I see, is a young old man with only a dream. Am I just fooling myself that she'll stop the pain. Living without her I'll go insane. I feel her breath on my face, her body close to me, can't look in her eyes, she's out of my league. Just a fool to believe I have anything she needs. She's like the wind. I feel your breath on my face, your body close to me, can't look in your eyes, you're out of my league. Just a fool to believe (just a fool to believe) she's like the wind. Just a fool to believe. (juat a fool to believe) she's like the wind."
He lowered his lips to the mark he'd left on her shoulder, as the music faded, and she stirred. He watched her quietly wanting to remember this moment forever. This moment, her response to him now would determine what their relationship would be from here on out. He doubted he could live in the mansion next to her every single day and never touch her again, but he could deal with that when the time came. He'd made this choice and he'd have to live with it, no matter what the consequences.
She moaned softly leaning into him. It was a delicious sound to Logan's ears, and his arms tightened around her. She turned smiling up at him. She looked at him through partially closed eyes. "Morning," she whispered, barely opening her mouth.
He glanced out the window, his fingers brushing caressingly across her cheek, then over her full lips. His touch was so soft and gentle it was almost lovingly. He'd give anything for this not to end. He couldn't pull his hand away as he spoke, "It's still night. Seven thirty to be exact. You can go back to sleep for a while."
She sat up, ignoring his embrace, clutching the sheet. "We gotta get back. Can we be there in half an hour or so?"
He nodded disappointed. What else had he expected? She had known exactly what she was getting into. She'd suggested they come here, knowing exactly what was going to happen. He should be glad she wasn't acting all lovey and saying stupid things like 'I love you'. But somehow he was disappointed that she hadn't. She wanted no strings attached to this time here. He groaned suddenly realizing that he did. "Get dressed."
Lizzy turned and looked at him. Her fingers rising to his cheek. She brushed her fingers across his skin, then leaned back and kissed him. A bitter sweet kiss. "I think we need to talk about this on the way home."
"Yeah, I guess so."
As they dressed, neither said much. Lizzy did her best to get her hair back into the same style it had been in when they left the mansion. She hadn't ever wore much make-up so she didn't have to worry about that. She groaned when her hair refused to cooperate. "As far as they know we've been on a bike for the last five hours. You can leave it down."
Lizzy looked at Logan. She wanted to cry at the lost look in his hazel eyes. Her heart lurched at the thought that it was her fault. The man had suffered so much in his life time. The last thing she wanted was to be the cause of more. "If this changes too much, or hurts . . . I'll erase it from your memory. The last thing I want is to cause you more pain."
"Don't you dare! This was my choice as much as it was yours."
She cocked her head to the side as she studied him, but only for a moment. She grabbed her coat, and headed for the door.
~ ~ ~
The ride back to the mansion was quiet. Lizzy didn't say much as she sat on the back of Logan's motorcycle. Her arms were loosely curled around his waist, as she laid her head against the back of his jacket. Logan wasn't driving too heavily over the speed limit, trying to hurry back to the mansion, but Lizzy kept her magnetic abilities in open use in case they were picked up by a cop. He hadn't said anything since they'd left the room. ("I can't say this, looking you in the eye, so don't turn around, just listen.")
Logan stared a head of him, then nodded giving her the okay. He already knew. She was going to confirm what he'd thought. She'd used him to get her little 'problem' out of the way. It wasn't so much that he hated being used by her, but he hated that it meant absolutely nothing to her. She'd proven that with her behavior when they'd gotten up.
("The professor sent me a message, not long after we left the city limits. . . . It wasn't Scott that I saw with Jean, it was Shifter. They were trying to get rid of me.") She felt the tension that entered him, and how cold he suddenly became. ("I didn't use you, Logan; not to get even with Scott anyway. I know that you and I could never have a real life together, but I . . . I love you. I would never do anything to hurt you like that, I just needed this one thing from you, before I let go of what I feel for you. I know it's wrong, but it's the only thing I'll ever be able to take away from you, when I leave to find my father. You have to believe that I didn't intend to use you or hurt you. Say you believe me.")
"I can't say what isn't true. I won't say it!"
She nodded slightly as she stared into the back of his head. She bit her lip, to stop the sob that crept into her throat. She knew she had hurt him, and she hated that. She had made the choice, and it was her fault he was hurting now. This entire night was one huge mistake, she'd never live down. She should have known better than to simply give in to the pull of the flesh. It hadn't been her heart that had led her into Logan's arm, though that was where she longed to be. She closed her eyes, and lifted her lips close to his ear.
Logan's body jerked as her breath skated across his neck. The two soft words she spoke shook him to his soul. He knew she meant it, and he hated the tears in her voice. He'd hurt her because her words cut him. Taking one hand off the handle bars of the bike, he closed his fingers over hers. If he concentrated hard enough and aimed his thoughts at her she'd hear him. Though he'd never had to try very hard before, this time it was important. ("I know you are. I believe you mean it, Amethyst. I hate to hear you cry, Darlin'.") Her arms tightened around him, and she leaned against him as they rode. He smiled at the feel of her so close to him. The radio on the bike played as they rode. The song Heaven by Warrent was blaring from the speakers. The memory of hearing that song only a few hours earlier flashed through Logan's mind, and he had to smile. ("I don't need to be the king of the world, as long as I'm the hero of this little girl. . . . How I love the way you move and the sparkle in your eyes, there's color deep inside like the blue suburban sky. When I come home late at night and your in bed asleep. And I'll wrap my arms around you so I can feel you breathe. I don't need to be a super man, as long as you will always be my biggest fan. Heaven isn't too far away.")
Lizzy smiled. He was thinking the lines of the song and trying to send his thoughts at her. She leaned up close to his ear. Her lips on the lobe. "You are my hero, Logan. No matter what happens you always will be."
~ ~ ~
As Logan pulled the bike to a halt outside the mansion, Lizzy knew their behavior would have to return to the way it had been before they'd left. She took a breath, wearing a smile and slid off the bike. She stood with him, waiting for him shut the bike down and climb off. ("I'm gonna go inside. They can't know what-.")
"You don't need to tell me, Darlin'. I know. Thanks."
"For what." His grin said it all. She'd made him feel good in the way she treated him. She turned then and walked up the steps. She was surprised that she wasn't bombarded with X-Men as she came in the house. They had to know she'd run off with Logan.
Logan was only a few steps behind her. "Where is everyone?"
"Minding their own business."
"Good." He brushed past her into the house.
Lizzy smiled and shut the door. She walked into the first livingroom where she found the other X-Men. She waved at Rogue, who jumped up and followed after her. The two had begun sharing a room since Lizzy joined the team. They were half way up the stairs when, Evie appeared at the top. Rogue looked at Lizzy. "Ah'll see ya."
Rogue hurried up the stairs and to the room they shared. Lizzy walked up the stairs and came face to face with her grandmother. "Are you all right?"
"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?"
"You took off. It's been hours. I know you were hurt. . ."
Lizzy stared at her grandmother. The last thing she needed was this, but what had she expected? Her grandmother was doing everything she could to push her together with Scott. She looked her in the eye. "Hurt by what? Grandpa told me what was going on. Besides nobody ever lets me out of this house except in a group! So I took off for a few hours. Logan's good company!"
"Then you're not upset?"
"No. I'm actually in a good mood. Gran, I'm under no delusions here, and I won't lie, my pride was wounded when I thought it was Scott with Jean, but who's wouldn't be? I'm not hurt by it, I know the truth and I'll talk to Scott in the morning."
"No, you need to talk to him now. He's been worried about you."
Lizzy looked at her, surprised by her command. "Fine. I'll talk to him." She turned and walked toward Scott's room. She walked right into the room, knowing her grandmother was only a few steps behind her, and shut then locked the door.