Magic Castle by Gaki

Final chapter! ^^v I'd like to thank all the nice pretty reviewers. You all have brought a big smile to my face with your nice comments. ^^v *ureshi da yo!*

This story was a 'spur of the moment meant to be a one-shot fic' but somehow it grew into 3 chapters long and it was all thanks to you all for inspiring me ^^v so, think of this story as a Christmas gift to ya! ^^d

Well I wish it could be Christmas everyday
When the kids start singin' and the band begins to play
Oh I wish it could be Christmas everyday
Let the bells ring out for Christmas
I wish it could be Christmas everyday by Wizzard

One way or another, Tsuzuki had somehow convinced him into going shopping for lights and a Christmas tree. Not only that, but he'd cornered him into putting up Christmas lights and decorations at his house. It wasn't as if he hated the holiday, he just didn't see the use of it. Christmas, in his eyes, was just an excuse for people who are anything but nice and good during the year to get things they don't deserve. People used it as an excuse to get something without looking like a brat for wanting it. Christmas was also a well disguised lie adults used to lure children into good behavior. Don't be a brat or Santa will give you a coal; Remember, if you're a good boy this year, Santa will get you want you've always wanted; Don't make me tell Santa you've been naughty all year.

Looking down at the tinsel in his hand, Hisoka mused that Christmas isn't just what people made it up to be. You'd think a so called special holiday like this one would mean more than just handing out presents and telling lies to children.

"But it is, Hisoka!" Tsuzuki said as he looked at Hisoka from behind the Christmas tree.

Blushing slightly, Hisoka hunched his shoulders, embarrassed to be caught speaking out loud. Ignoring the blush on Hisoka's face, Tsuzuki went on as he busily placed clear and white ornaments on random branches.

"Christmas is more than just giving out presents. It's spending time with those you care about. It's going home for the holidays and surrounding yourself with family members. It's sitting back on the couch and laughing at stories of your childhood. It's," Tsuzuki paused, looking down at a little angel in his hands as he thought.

The little ornament had blonde hair, as all angels seem to have that color hair, and small wings that seemed almost too tiny to be able to lift it's body up into the air. The angel was dressed in nothing but a simple cloth that wrapped around it's round body with a golden string tied around it's waist. In it's tiny delicate hands was a single star. The cherub seemed like it was on it's way to place the star into the night sky. He lifted it up higher, staring into it's soft blue eyes before placing it on a high branch; helping the angel in it's journey to put the star back in it's place.

Tsuzuki let his hands fall to his side as he gazed at the ornament a bit longer. "Christmas," he started again, "is like your bed. Only… only you've been away from it for a very long time and you've almost forgotten what it feels like to sleep in it. It's like going home from a long hard day of work and all you want to do is to just sleep in that bed but you can't because it's not there. And so you wait, you wait for the bed but sometimes you can't wait any longer and you cry. You cry because you miss it, because it was so soft and so comfortable and you're afraid that you won't ever see it again. And once you do see it again, it's like having your most desired wish come true. It's there, in front of you. And you laugh and cheer and run and jump into it. And when you pull the thick covers over yourself as you close your eyes, you think to yourself. 'This is home. This is where I belong.'"

There was a short silence as Tsuzuki smiled almost wistfully before turning around to grin at Hisoka.

"Sometimes, I wish it were Christmas everyday."

"Idiot," Hisoka muttered, his back still facing Tsuzuki. "Christmas isn't like a bed."

A soft chuckle, one that said, I know you'd say that but it's okay because you listened to me. I like it when you listen to me. He frowned down at the same tinsel in his hand as he heard Tsuzuki speak again. "I know, but it feels like that to me."

Sniffing a little, rubbing his cold nose, Hisoka muttered again. "And having Christmas everyday wouldn't make Tatsumi-san very happy."

Tsuzuki laughed, rubbing the back of his head. "I guess not." He then pouted. "Tatsumi's no fun. All he thinks about is work, work and reminding me about my bills! Sometimes I think he likes doing that."

"Idiot." Was all Hisoka said. He then frowned again as he thought about the blue eyed shinigami. Tsuzuki should be putting Christmas lights up with Tatsumi-san, not me. I'm just ruining the mood for him. Tatsumi-san would've smiled and baked something for him, like apple pie or something. Bending the tinsel in his hands, Hisoka fought back the urge to gnaw on his lower lip. "Tsuzuki?"

Untangling himself from the lights, Tsuzuki looked owlishly up at Hisoka from his place on the floor. "Hmm?"

Raising his head, Hisoka stared at the white lights along the frame of his window as he spoke. "Why didn't you go to Tatsumi-san's place with them?" He lowered his gaze. "They're probably singing karaoke at this moment, you know."

"Why?" Tsuzuki asked, unwilling to lose to a couple of wires as he struggled to free his long legs from the Christmas lights.

"There's nothing here." No Christmas carols. No sake. No laughter. Just… dead silence. "You'd have more fun with them." Stuffing your face with Watari-san. Singing with Kachou. Smiling with Tatsumi-san. Even a fight with Terazuma-san is better than this…

There was nothing here in his home but what little furniture he thought was necessary. His house was sparsely decorated. A plant or two in a corner, a couple of pots sitting on the stove, barely used. An old looking couch that looked as if it needed to be thrown away, but he kept it because it was comfortable. It was right up against the wall, the large window of the outside world right next to it. The space that was left was currently taken up by the boxes of newly bought Christmas ornaments and decorations. The Christmas tree wasn't large or tall, it was a moderate size, fitting perfectly in the little empty corner of the room. The only other rooms in his house were the bathroom and his own room, which was also mostly empty.

He never was a person who bought things for just because. He only bought things if he really needed them, like a new heater and air conditioner for example. He had been meaning to get a new one but there was always something he had to get done.

"There's nothing here," he muttered quietly.

Tsuzuki shrugged, although he didn't see it, as he finally freed himself from the cords. "You're here." He said simply.

It was such a simple answer, yet it was always the simple things that Tsuzuki did that hit him the hardest. Like giving Hisoka his umbrella when the boy forgot to bring his own. Or placing a hand on his forehead to make sure he wasn't sick. Or offering Hisoka his hand in the darkness of the night when he was too afraid to move on his own. It was the simple things that made his chest tight and his throat thick. He didn't know why those words affected him as much as they did. Didn't know why he felt relieved that Tsuzuki had said that. Somewhere deep inside of him, he heard himself cheer gleefully. He's here because of me! The little voice cheered. He doesn't care about drinking, singing or even about apple pies! He staying here because of me! Me!

Me…

And then he felt like crying. Blinking rapidly, glaring down at the floor, he rubbed his face angrily. Why did he feel like crying all of a sudden? Why had that answer touched him more than it should have? Why was he being so childish, wanting to cry over something so stupid? And why would Tsuzuki want to stay here because of him? He didn't even understand Christmas. He didn't even know the meaning of Christmas. He could see it all around him; in the laughter of young children, the big grins from adults, the blaring music from the stores and the innocent white of the snowflakes. But he didn't understand it. He was like a person watching a sport event for the first time. He could hear the cheer of the crowd, he could see it, yet he didn't feel it. He didn't feel the joy when the home team scores a goal. He didn't feel the excitement of a child looking through the window of a store at a toy train. He didn't understand Christmas because he never celebrated Christmas in the first place.

He didn't know anything that had to do with Christmas. He didn't even understand the simple games.

He was standing in the front garden, listening to the children beyond the gates laugh and giggle as they played a game. A snowball fight, which was what it was called. A… snowball fight. He wanted desperately to watch, to somehow be able to look over the high walls and watch them play their little game. It was okay if he couldn't play with them, even if he did want to. All he wanted to do was watch.

But all he could do was stand on his tiptoe and listen to their loud cheerful giggles and laughter. They sound as if they were really enjoying themselves. He wanted to join in too. He wanted to be part of the laughter, not just hearing it. Frowning, he walked towards the old wooden doors of the gate and pressed his ear against it.

The voices were fading, as if they were getting further and further away. He pressed down the urge to cry out to them. To tell them to stop, to not go any further and come closer. Closer so he can listen to them play. But he couldn't because it would attract attention from the household and he would be scolded. As the voice faded and became nothing but his breathing, he felt his heart sink.

He wanted them to stay, those children. They were his companion and yet at the same time they weren't. To be a companion with someone, you first have to know them. He didn't know them. He only observed them, and even that wasn't true. He was like a caged bird, allowed out in the open but never allowed to fly away from home.

A feeling of complete loneliness embedded itself in his chest as he pressed his ear closer still against the wood. As if thinking that if he pressed hard enough, he could make out their laughter from the distance. He wanted them to come back, to have a snowball fight where he could hear them and listen to their laughter.

"Hisoka?"

He jumped slightly before turning around to face his Mother.

He must've sniffed rather loudly because when Tsuzuki spoke up once again, his voice was full of concern.

"Hisoka? Are you okay?"

There was no use lying to Tsuzuki when the older man was worried. He can be so persistent at times. Yet, it touched him that someone would care so much that they would keep asking him the same question over and over again just to make sure if he was alright. Even if it did annoy him at times.

"Why?"

"What was that?"

"Why?" he asked again, this time a bit louder.

"Why what?"

Tsuzuki was making it so difficult for him. He didn't want to ask, he didn't want to seem weak. But he needed to know, he had to know. He wanted to know the answer like how he had wanted to know how to make a snow angel. Yet he was afraid of the answer he would get. Afraid that it would turn out like the snow angel he'd made so many years ago.

"No no, you're doing it all wrong!"

They were back again. Sometimes he wondered if they knew he was there. That within their group, they had an extra that didn't speak, didn't even tag along but was still there. Listening eagerly to their every word. Wanting to smile and laugh when they did but wasn't allowed to do so for fear of being found out and never be allowed to listen to them again.

He pressed his ear closer to the thick old door, wanting to hear the directions on how to make a snow angel. He didn't know what it was, but it sounded so beautiful. A snow angel! Imagine that! An angel made out of snow! Surely it would be so wonderful! Maybe he could even show it to his Mother. Maybe she'd let him play with them after she sees the snow angel.

"Okay, first, you need to find a nice place covered in snow like… here!"

Pushing away from the door, he looked around almost frantically. 'Wait! Wait!' he wanted to shout out loud. 'Wait for me!' Glancing around the front garden, he tried to find a nice spot with snow. Spotting a place near a large grouping of rocks, he quickly ran over and waited for further instructions.

"Now, lie down on your back and start moving your arms and legs up and down. After you finished, stand up and you've got yourself a snow angel! See! It's so easy!"

He stared at the ground for awhile. His breath was coming out in white puffs and he was shivering slightly but the demanding urge to make a snow angel, to actually be able to do something that the children were doing, was too strong for him to resist. Giving in, he laid down on his back, shivering from the wet ground as it soaked into his too thin clothing, and began to move his arms and legs up and down as instructed. He could feel rocks and pebbles digging into his back and as he stood back up, he could still feel a few of them clinging onto his clothing.

"Isn't it pretty?"

A snow angel was thing made from pure white snow. The angel he was currently looking down at was anything but a snow angel. What little snow he had laid down on, was swept away by his arms and legs, showing the ugly wet bare ground underneath. The wings of the angel weren't made of snow. It consisted of rocks, pebbles and broken twigs. There wasn't a trace of snow on his snow angel.

He lowered his head, ignoring the icy cold as the wind blew around him.

"Wow, it's so beautiful! Let's make another one!"

Staring down at the ground, he mused that his angel wasn't made of snow.

It was made of dirt.

"Hisoka?" Tsuzuki's voice broke the silence as he stood up, facing Hisoka's back.

"What do you think she was waiting for, Hisoka?"

He couldn't ask. Staring back down at the tinsel, he found that he didn't want to know the answer anymore. He'll just accept the answer Tsuzuki had said earlier as the reason why. Perhaps if he repeated it enough in his head, he'll come to believe it. That Tsuzuki would spend his Christmas with someone like him. That even though he didn't understand Christmas, even if he'd never celebrate it before, Tsuzuki was here because of him and no other reason.

"A prince on a white horse?"

He could see the slight pouting on Tsuzuki's face without even needing to turn around. "I have to have a reason to spend Christmas with you, Hisoka?"

He didn't answer. Ashamed because that was exactly what he was thinking. There had to be a reason why people would willingly be near him. No one had wanted to be near him before. It was as if a touch from him was like being touched by something pure evil. He frowned, twisting the tinsel even more.

"… It's just…"

"Hisoka," a hand fell onto his shoulder, shaking him a bit as he looked up to see Tsuzuki smiling down at him. "Didn't you hear a word I said earlier?"

He blinked.

"Nope. She wasn't waiting for a prince on a white horse."

Tsuzuki grinned and winked down at him before phrasing himself. "'Christmas is more than just giving out presents. It's spending time with those you care about.'" He ruffled Hisoka's hair, smiling. "Besides, this is your first Christmas, right?"

Green eyes widen slightly in surprise. It confused him how Tsuzuki could understand him so easily when he himself was having a hard time understanding him.

"She just wanted someone who can see into her and love her for who she is."

Tsuzuki grinned, taking his silence as his answer. He held up his hand and within his grasp was a crystal clear star ready to be placed upon the little Christmas tree in his living room.

"Almost finished, Hisoka. Here, you put up the star."

They were seated on the couch now, a cup of hot chocolate in their hands as they watched the soft sparkle of the white lights on the Christmas tree. Outside, the snow had begun to fall slowly, looking like soft little fairies floating around. The room was filled with the warm smell of the melted chocolate drink. A blanket was spread out on their laps as they basked in the wonderful feeling of peacefulness. His senses were tingling. He was surrounded by so much warmth that he felt like he could sleep through the whole night. Around him were such soothing smells. The hot chocolate in his hands, the fresh pine of the Christmas tree and somewhere underneath all those smells was the faint but distinct scent that belonged to Tsuzuki alone.

He must've dosed off briefly for when he opened his eyes again, his hands were empty and he was currently leaning against Tsuzuki's shoulder. The older man didn't seem to mind one bit, in fact he rested his arm behind the sofa so Hisoka could curl into him more. It didn't surprise him that he didn't pull away instantly, blushing and sputtering at the older man. He instead closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh. He could smell Tsuzuki more clearly now. Tsuzuki was big and soft and warm all around him. Cinnamon buns and powered sugar surrounded him and he did nothing but letting himself sink into it more.

It was so warm and he was suddenly so sleepy.

"It's there, in front of you. And you laugh and cheer and run and jump into it. And when you pull the thick covers over yourself as you close your eyes, you think to yourself. 'This is home. This is where I belong."

"Tsuzuki," he muttered softly.

When Tsuzuki answered, his deep voice rumbled in his chest, making Hisoka close his eyes at the sound.

"Hmm?"

There was a faint blush on his cheeks as he went on. "About the question. If I'd push people away or not…"

There was a soft chuckle that vibrated deeply in the chest Hisoka's cheek was resting against. It made him feel so sleepy. "I know, Hisoka."

He closed his eyes for awhile, listening to the deep beating of Tsuzuki's heart. Letting the constant drumming lull him into sleep.

"Sometimes, I wish it were Christmas everyday."

"Tsuzuki."

"Yes, Hisoka?"

A pleasant pause before the boy's soft voice spoke out again.

"… I wish it were Christmas everyday, too."

And Tsuzuki smiled.

Well I wish it could be Christmas everyday
When the kids start singin' and the band begins to play
Oh I wish it could be Christmas everyday
Let the bells ring out for Christmas

Why don't you give your love, it's Christmas

End