Disclaimer: I do not own Mutant X or any of the characters in it, I don't
know who does but I don't.
Rating: PG - No torture (just implied) and no swearing, nothing bad.
Summary: A look into Brennan's thoughts and his past. Basically a
prologue to a story I am currently writing.
Authors Note: This is the first story that I have not used any names what
so ever. And I am very pleased with the results. The way I normally write
stories was getting sort of boring and I thought I would try something new.
This is a prologue to a story that is not on Fanfiction.net but will be
soon. The only difference in the story is it is in different points of
view and names are used. This just goes into Brennan's past (which I have
always thought was understated on the show), but could almost be used for
any of the characters in Mutant X but was written about Brennan and with
him in mind. PLEASE REVIEW- ANYTHING JUST GIVE ME FEEDBACK!!
The Past is what Haunts you Most
I ran. I ran from everything, my past, my future, and my present. There were so many things that I want no one to know, so many things that would ruin how everybody thinks of me. They would think of me has a monster. And that is what I am. Nobody who is human can kill without thought or feeling. Every person is supposed to have a conscience and yet I seem not to. I am almost oblivious to all the pain I have caused. And yet there is no other place I would rather be. I know there is no way to pay for everything I have done. But I don't care. It is the way I was programmed, to kill without feeling or emotion. To be a monster in every aspect of the word, and a freak to most people. I just don't care because I have already crossed the line. If I had the power when I was younger to stop and take over my life I would have done that long ago. But I cant. My friends would condemn for everything I have done. They would think of me has one of the people we are trying to save the world from, not one of the freaks against them. You can't live life this way, though. If you do for to long, it will destroy you from the inside out. That is why I left. I had to find a way to make up for what I have done. And to me, that is killing the very people who created the monster that is me. I will kill them so they can not shatter another young mind, so they can see the beings they have created. And they will no the true pain they have caused. They will now every emotion that goes through somebody's head right before they die. And they will see everything that they have caused; they will pay for every person's life they have destroyed. Didn't my friends, yes friends, now that my past was just that - my past. They would subtly ask what I was like before I came here, they desperately wanted to now why I am the way I am. They wanted to now why I was so defensive and wouldn't let people into my heart easily. They just couldn't fathom that I wanted to be left alone with my thoughts, that when I signed on to the team they said that I could put the past behind me and that is exactly the way it was going to stay. But that was before my past came back to haunt me. I always knew that I couldn't run from it forever, but I always thought that I had a lot longer to go before it did come back. I met one of the people from my dark history that I thought was dead. But if I could help it he would be within the day. This man would not live to tell others of my past. He would try, and would try without fail if I did not do something about it. So I killed him. I killed him without mercy like I once did. He would not be a threat to me. But even though he did not harm me in any way, he made all the memories that I had tried to surpress to come back with a vengeance. He made me think. And so this was the moment in my present that brought back my past. The others would not let it go. They knew something was going on but didn't now how to ask about it. But it was always there, in every conversation it is in the back of everybody's mind. And this is what drove me to leave. I had to get away from the stares full of sympathy and pity. They pitied me for something they had no idea about. And yet it went into my very soul and attacked my being. They thought of me has a different person. All because of one person, one connection to my past. But that would change. Soon they will forget about me the same way I forget about the other people in my secret life. They would soon think of me has a monster. And that is what I want them to think. I don't want them to lose a friend, because losing an enemy is a lot easier. They can move on with their lives and think of me in memory, there is no way to stop that. When I ran, I ran to the only place that I hated with all my soul. This was were my demons came from. Where they lived and feed of the darkness and despair. This was my past. This was the place were I grew up, has sad as that sounds, it is the only place I truly belong. Walking through the hallways was like walking through a doorway in time. I remembered everything, every turn and corner in the hallway, every door and where it led, and every place were I had screamed. But most of all I remember where they lived. Where my tormentors stayed and slept. I remember hearing their screams right before they died and loving the sound. But something was different. There was almost happiness in this place of torture. The screams of torture where replaced by laughs. This was not the place of my nightmares anymore. Yet I still felt that some how somebody would find me in my mind, and would destroy everything I have worked so hard to have. Has hard as I have tried, I could not distance myself from these people who slowly became my family. And that is what scared me the most. I had let people into my heart and was almost willing to tell them everything. Every lie I have said, every murder I have committed, and every scream I have tried to hide. The only reason I came back was because they followed me. My family followed me into my nightmare and brought me out whole again. I had lived through my worst fears and come out happy. I could talk to these people and tell them everything. And they wouldn't care what I was like when I was younger. They would say that I have changed and that is not me now, even if I have done to many things to possibly forgive they would forgive me. And still welcome me. That is when I realized that all of them have a past. Some are just worse than others. But no matter what I have done, I was still part of the family, and they would welcome me with open arms. Even if I didn't welcome myself. And that is the moment in my life that I will never forget. I had grown up hiding from everyone. I hid who I was and when I finally didn't hide, people I had no clue where even in existence came after me. And now I fight them with everything in my power, along with my family. The team that I thought I could hide through became my sanctuary and everything I wanted in life. I couldn't hide from them anymore because they didn't hide from me. They are truly the family I never had.
End of Prologue
By: Ceciliayelrac
The Past is what Haunts you Most
I ran. I ran from everything, my past, my future, and my present. There were so many things that I want no one to know, so many things that would ruin how everybody thinks of me. They would think of me has a monster. And that is what I am. Nobody who is human can kill without thought or feeling. Every person is supposed to have a conscience and yet I seem not to. I am almost oblivious to all the pain I have caused. And yet there is no other place I would rather be. I know there is no way to pay for everything I have done. But I don't care. It is the way I was programmed, to kill without feeling or emotion. To be a monster in every aspect of the word, and a freak to most people. I just don't care because I have already crossed the line. If I had the power when I was younger to stop and take over my life I would have done that long ago. But I cant. My friends would condemn for everything I have done. They would think of me has one of the people we are trying to save the world from, not one of the freaks against them. You can't live life this way, though. If you do for to long, it will destroy you from the inside out. That is why I left. I had to find a way to make up for what I have done. And to me, that is killing the very people who created the monster that is me. I will kill them so they can not shatter another young mind, so they can see the beings they have created. And they will no the true pain they have caused. They will now every emotion that goes through somebody's head right before they die. And they will see everything that they have caused; they will pay for every person's life they have destroyed. Didn't my friends, yes friends, now that my past was just that - my past. They would subtly ask what I was like before I came here, they desperately wanted to now why I am the way I am. They wanted to now why I was so defensive and wouldn't let people into my heart easily. They just couldn't fathom that I wanted to be left alone with my thoughts, that when I signed on to the team they said that I could put the past behind me and that is exactly the way it was going to stay. But that was before my past came back to haunt me. I always knew that I couldn't run from it forever, but I always thought that I had a lot longer to go before it did come back. I met one of the people from my dark history that I thought was dead. But if I could help it he would be within the day. This man would not live to tell others of my past. He would try, and would try without fail if I did not do something about it. So I killed him. I killed him without mercy like I once did. He would not be a threat to me. But even though he did not harm me in any way, he made all the memories that I had tried to surpress to come back with a vengeance. He made me think. And so this was the moment in my present that brought back my past. The others would not let it go. They knew something was going on but didn't now how to ask about it. But it was always there, in every conversation it is in the back of everybody's mind. And this is what drove me to leave. I had to get away from the stares full of sympathy and pity. They pitied me for something they had no idea about. And yet it went into my very soul and attacked my being. They thought of me has a different person. All because of one person, one connection to my past. But that would change. Soon they will forget about me the same way I forget about the other people in my secret life. They would soon think of me has a monster. And that is what I want them to think. I don't want them to lose a friend, because losing an enemy is a lot easier. They can move on with their lives and think of me in memory, there is no way to stop that. When I ran, I ran to the only place that I hated with all my soul. This was were my demons came from. Where they lived and feed of the darkness and despair. This was my past. This was the place were I grew up, has sad as that sounds, it is the only place I truly belong. Walking through the hallways was like walking through a doorway in time. I remembered everything, every turn and corner in the hallway, every door and where it led, and every place were I had screamed. But most of all I remember where they lived. Where my tormentors stayed and slept. I remember hearing their screams right before they died and loving the sound. But something was different. There was almost happiness in this place of torture. The screams of torture where replaced by laughs. This was not the place of my nightmares anymore. Yet I still felt that some how somebody would find me in my mind, and would destroy everything I have worked so hard to have. Has hard as I have tried, I could not distance myself from these people who slowly became my family. And that is what scared me the most. I had let people into my heart and was almost willing to tell them everything. Every lie I have said, every murder I have committed, and every scream I have tried to hide. The only reason I came back was because they followed me. My family followed me into my nightmare and brought me out whole again. I had lived through my worst fears and come out happy. I could talk to these people and tell them everything. And they wouldn't care what I was like when I was younger. They would say that I have changed and that is not me now, even if I have done to many things to possibly forgive they would forgive me. And still welcome me. That is when I realized that all of them have a past. Some are just worse than others. But no matter what I have done, I was still part of the family, and they would welcome me with open arms. Even if I didn't welcome myself. And that is the moment in my life that I will never forget. I had grown up hiding from everyone. I hid who I was and when I finally didn't hide, people I had no clue where even in existence came after me. And now I fight them with everything in my power, along with my family. The team that I thought I could hide through became my sanctuary and everything I wanted in life. I couldn't hide from them anymore because they didn't hide from me. They are truly the family I never had.
End of Prologue
By: Ceciliayelrac