Author's notes at bottom - Enjoy!
@~~~~~~
Beyond the Staff
Chapter One - Life as I knew it
By: Bethany
Editor: Meara
Rated: PG 13
@~~~~~~
Temporarily I found myself blinded by my mother's hair
as she pulled me down and rested my head upon her breast.
Faintly I could hear her heartbeat in my ear, but what caught
my attention most was the odd rattling that occupied her every
breath. Worriedly I positioned my head so I could look into
my mother's beautiful face. It took her a moment to begin. She
closed her eyes, remembering things I never could. And it hurt
her, I could feel it in her racing heart and heard it in her
voice when she finally began.
"I was fourteen when I was called to court to be a Lady
in Waiting for Princess Adara. I was removed from my home and
taken to the palace in one very short evening. Grieving,
missing my parents greatly, I mopped around the palace for
months. A couple of days prior to my sixteenth birthday was
when I meet him. I was sitting in the gardens, crying for my
parents, when a young man sat beside me. Gradually we began
talking and I found for the first time since arriving at
that hateful place I could laugh. We spent hours together
each day; walking through the garden, laughing and talking.
We enjoyed each other's company greatly."
She stopped for a moment, a lone tear traveling down
her face that she wiped at in vain. "It wasn't until after
we had become lovers and I became pregnant that I also found
out he was the Prince. I suppose it was my blindness to
everything around me that caused me to never know. In a
depression deep enough, the world could blow up around one
and one would never know. I could think of nothing else to
do about my situation - so I told him I was with child. For
months on end your father tried to find a way for us to be
together. However, no one would hear of the nineteen year old
Prince marrying a sixteen-year-old Lady in Waiting. Especially
one as disliked as I was because of my deep grieving of my
family. In the end he did the only thing he knew to do.
"It was over in a flash, really. Together we went to his
parent's chamber and explained the situation to them. Less
than five minutes later I found myself being dragged to a
dungeon by two guards. The King didn't want to hear of my
condition, or about our love. He laid down a punishment
for Setsutarou - he was banished from the kingdom until
after I had given birth and was gone." The flood of tears
that streamed down her face made my own eyes fill with
tears. I buried my face deep against her chest and hugged
her tightly. "I could hear him screaming my name as they
carried us in two different directions. The sound of his
voice still haunts me. The last words I ever heard from
his mouth; 'I love you, both of you.'"
The silence stretched on in the room. About five minutes
or so later I looked up at my mother, but she was still staring
out into space. The information she had told me might not have
made sense to a normal twelve year old... and suddenly I wished
I hadn't learned so much in my short life. Then I wouldn't
understand either. But as it was, I understood all too clearly.
Royal blood ran through my veins, and no one on Pluto
except for the King, the Prince and my mother knew. I saw my
father in a different light now - where once I had thought he
choose to leave us, I now knew he hadn't. It must have been
hard, for a Prince to decide between the woman he loved and
his country; his duty. I'm not sure I could have made the
decision myself.
"After you were born," my mother suddenly said, picking
up her story again. "I was banished from the kingdom - and if
I wanted us to live, I was to leave and never return. Also, never
to mention that I had given birth the first born to the
throne of Pluto. By the time I had spent five months in the prison
the King had placed me in, I only wanted to leave with
you. So I did. I traveled here, where I tried to begin a new life.
But I was always seen as a cast away, an outsider that didn't
belong. I had no roots here, my parents were of no help because
they would have known I had gotten pregnant in the realms of
the palace walls and begin asking questions. So for our lives,
I started anew here."
In her pause, I finally brought the question that was
burning in my mind to surface. Pushing back my hair with my
hand, I looked up into her green eyes. "Mama, why are you
telling me this now?"
She didn't answer me for a long time. Minutes ticked by
softly, but I paid them no heed as I stared into my mother's
face. She seemed to age right before my eyes, sinking into the
pillows she laid on. I felt my chest become heavy, my heart
knowing before my mind what was about to happen.
"Setsuna, my beautiful, precious baby girl," my mother
whispered in my ear, running her fingers through my long mass
of hair. "My Setsutarou's daughter," she began crying softly,
tears slowly sliding down her face and off her chin. I wanted
to wipe them away, but I couldn't move. So instead I lay on my
mother's bosom and listened to the words that would change my
life forever.
"I had hopes of seeing you graduate from school,
hopes to see you happily married and the sound of your own
children at my feet before this happened. Setsuna, I'm dying.
The doctor was here just before you came home from school and
said that there is a tumor on my brain. I tell you this now
so that you don't become a ward of this city when I'm gone."
I tried to pinch myself, for surely this was a horrid
nightmare. The tears in my eyes made everything so blurry,
but I didn't care to see straight. If everything remained
hazy, there was still hope I was dreaming. My heart pounded
loudly in my ears, fear and sadness already making its home
in my chest and in my days. I shook my head no, denying what
she said to be true. But my mother had never lied to me,
perhaps she had been lied to. Perhaps...
"Setsuna, it's true. I know how hard this is, but you
are a strong girl. You have my will and your father's knowledge,
and more than I have ever dreamed for you will become reality.
You must go to the Prince, tell him who you are. The King is
sick and surely hasn't the strength to deny you. Please do
this, for me. So that I may lay in peace."
As the afternoon sun broke through the rain clouds
and faded through the cloth that served as a curtain to my
mother's room, I promised her that I would go to the Palace
and reveal who I was. And at the delicate age of twelve, I
had no idea all that would come with that promise. No idea
of the hardships, heartaches and pain that tagged along. It
would be a lesson learned in time.
Time, which would show me the way. Time that would
comfort me. Time that would be my prison for all eternity.
~~~~*~~~~
@------
~~~~*~~~~
One year and nine months later I stood outside in
the rain, much like the cold rain that had fallen the day
my past was revealed, and watched my beautiful mother
lowered into the ground. No tears stained my face, my
well of tears had dried. Instead I seemed to be outside
my body, watching as everything transpired around me. No
friends comforted me, I had none. No family shared my grief,
I was alone in this world that only offered me bitter cold
wind and gray days.
I dropped a solitary rose into the ground and turned to run away
from the sound of the dirt sealing my mother forever in the darkness.
I ran until I reached my house, but even then I didn't cry. I simply
began walking to my room, staring at everything with a dull pain
coursing through my body.
Mechanically I opened a cloth bag and began filling it with my
few belongings. How my heart hurt when I descended the three steps of
our porch, leaving behind the home that had seen my first words, first
steps, and childhood dreams.
Goodbye memories of her smiling face lighting up as I ran up the
yard and into her open arms. Goodbye to the sound of the rain pounding
on the tin roof and seeping through the cracks and into pots and pans.
Goodbye warmth, love and comfort.
Goodbye, Mama.
@~~~~~~
The days that followed all seemed hazy when I look back on them,
but at the time they were as real as the sores on the bottom of my
feet. I left Higo, the village I had grown up in on a northwards trek
towards the capital. When my mother had fled there nearly fourteen
years earlier, she had somehow made a ten-day journey before settling
down. This was only my third day of travel and already my feet hurt so
badly I could barely stand.
I approached another village and draped my cloak over my head.
Most people paid me no mind when I passed through, asked for directions
or offered a service in trade for a meal. But still I knew that the
back roads of some larger towns were the home of evil men who rapped
and killed young girls like myself. I gave an involuntary shiver and
hugged my bag of belongings closer to my chest as I made my way down
the main street. A horse and buggy passed me, the dirt lingering in the
air and making my eyes water. The Moons hung lazily in the eastern sky,
telling me that night was approaching fast.
Just ahead of me was a splintered sign indicating an Inn. It hung
from a metal pole that squeaked as the wind blew it. It wasn't one of
the nicer places to stay, but then I hadn't been able to afford much
better, either. I pushed slowly on the door, its hinges moaning in
protest with a loud, high-pitched squeal. Inside was a small table with
two chairs and one elderly lady sitting to the left, needlework in her
hand. Her silver hair had just a hint of gold to it, suggesting she may
have once had a full hair of blonde hair. She wore it pulled back into
a loose bun, held together with a knitting needle. As I came around the
corner and into sight, she lifted her eyes up wearily and put her
needlework on the table. Watery hazel eyes bid me welcome as she pulled
a wooden cane over to try and stand.
"Oh, don't get up on my account, Ma'am," I said, waving my hands
in front of me. I pulled my cloak away from my head, letting my waist
length green hair fall down in waves. I stepped closer to the lady,
smiling as warmly as my tired face would allow. "I came upon your Inn
and I need a place to stay the night. I haven't much money, but I could
work off my debt."
"You travel alone, young one?" she asked, a look of both
suspension and surprise on her face as she looked past me and seen no
one.
"Yes Ma'am, I do. Do you have room open, please?" I repeated when
she didn't answer. She scanned me from head to toe, taking in my face,
long hair and concentrating most, it seemed, on my small bag of
belongings I held tight against my body. I felt a line of sweat form on
my forehead as I stood under her inspection. "Ma'am?"
"Upstairs, second door on the right you will find a room. We will
discuss your payment later," she commanded and picked her needlework up
again. As I ascended the stairs I felt like I had just been branded,
and approved from the looks of it. I wasn't sure if that was a good
sign or not.
I hurried up the steps and onto the second floor landing. Once I
turned the corner, however, I was in for a shock beyond my imagination.
The rickety hardwood floor was suddenly covered with expensive, plush
red carpet accented lightly with gold thread. The walls were clothed
with a white silky material and wooden tables sat between every door
down the hall, vases of assorted flowers upon them.
Ahead of me, further down the hall, a door swung open allowing
loud dance music to fill the hall. A woman stepped out, a cigarette
angling from her full, rose red lips. She had short jet-black haircut
around her face and enough rouge on her face for three people. But the
most shocking thing was the outfit she wore. The bright red dress on
her figure looked painted on it was so tight. Her full breasts were
jetting out the top of the garment, and then clung to her shapely
figure until just below her thighs, making her legs seem that much
longer. She walked past me, her piercing blue eyes casting a downwards
glance at me. "Who are you?" she asked, blowing cigarette smoke in my
face as she spoke.
"Eh, Setsuna," I mumbled, not sure what to say and scared to say
nothing. She reached out her hand, her long nails painted in the same
color as her dress, and felt of my hair.
She seemed to size me up, and then a look of bewilderment clouded
her features. "You're terribly young, aren't you?"
"I'm just passing through," I replied unsurely.
"Right," she mumbled. "You a runaway?" she asked, pointing to the
bag I held close to my chest. "I'd suggest that you go home, girl. This
isn't the life I would suggest for someone as young as you. Believe
me," I seen a far off look in her eyes and then suddenly she snapped
her head, like realizing where she was. "I ran away when I wasn't much
older than you, came here all the way from Earth," she bragged.
I felt my eyes grow huge. There wasn't many with hair that jet-
black on Pluto, I knew. But to have came here all the way from Earth? I
couldn't resist asking more. "Why did you choose here?"
She looked shocked, like many had asked why she came here rather
than why she had chosen here. She placed her cigarette bunt in a
flowerpot and blew the remaining smoke towards the ceiling. "It is the
furthest point in this Galaxy away from Earth, and I wanted to be far
away."
Intrigued, I started to ask more when another door opened,
laughter filling the hall. The sound seemed to be a reality check for
the young lady and she took another step away from me and towards the
steps. "How old are you?" she asked, this time not looking as
interested by my answer as before.
"I'll be fourteen in two days," I replied, wondering at the same
time if I should have tried to pass for older.
She shook her head, looking sadden by my answer. "That's even
younger than I was," she mumbled, more to herself than to me, it
seemed. And without another word, she went around the corner, her heels
tapping on the wooden steps.
I quickly turned the handle to the room I was suppose to stay in
and went inside. I pressed my back on the cool wooden surface and
closed my eyes in relief. On the other side of the polished door was a
room that the cottage I had grown up in would have easily fit in.
Against the far wall was a huge canopy bed with blue satin sheers all
the way around it, and the blankets on it a different shade of blue.
The walls were white with blue thread and the carpet was as plush as
the hallways, just like walking on clouds. To my left was a sitting
area with a love seat, two chairs and a table decked with fruit and
peanuts. To my right was a wall length vanity table covered with creams
and make-up.
I put my bag down and inspected the adjoining bathroom. New
looking brass fixtures were on the sinks, tub and toilet. Mirrors lined
the walls surrounding the tub. A huge walk in closet was placed at the
far end, robes hung on one side and slippers just under them. Sitting
on the sink was two bottles of bath oils, as well as powder and
perfume.
I had never taken a bath in an actual tub before, and the urge
was overwhelming. I turned the water on and slid out of my dress,
pouring bath oil in the steaming water. After it was filled, I slowly
eased myself in until the water was covering my entire body. The warmth
of the liquid relaxed my aching bones and I closed my eyes.
I must have fallen asleep, but I don't remember. The next thing I
remember is thinking that the water was much cooler than before and I
hurriedly stood up to wrap one of the plush towels around my body.
Standing in front of the full-length mirror, I stared at the image
reflected back at me. Surprisingly, the young lady I had become was
pretty. I had my mother's smooth, peaches and cream complexion that was
set off by my dark magenta eyes and emerald hair. I had always been
tall for my age and the short towel wrapped around me intensified my
long legs.
I let the towel fall to my feet and I stared in wonderment at the
body I had never seen fully reflected. My stomach was flat and the
hardness of my breasts were protruding proudly from my chest. I turned
many different angles, staring at myself over and over again. Was this
really me?
"You're quite beautiful," a voice said and I gasped, spinning
around and trying to reach for my towel at the same moment. The elderly
lady from downstairs was standing in the bathroom doorway, a small
smile of satisfaction on her lips. "You mustn't let it go to your head,
though. That is every pretty girl's problem."
"Y-Yes ma'am," I whispered, my throat gone dry. She acted as if
we were just standing in the hall talking, nothing unusual. I felt a
blush creep up my neck and stain my cheeks blood red as I stood nearly
naked under her gaze.
"We'll discuss your payment now, hurry and dress," she commanded
and suddenly she didn't sound like an elderly grandmother like she had
downstairs. Still shaking with embarrassment and now apprehension, I
slipped on a robe and hurried out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.
On the love seat there was a garment bag laying next to the lady.
I sat down in the adjacent seat, folding my legs under me. For a moment
neither of us spoke until finally she began. "You may stay here for as
long as you wish, under my conditions." Not allowing me to get a word
in edgewise, she continued. "I need someone to be a server, a waitress,
if you will. Any tips you make will be yours to do with as you see fit.
All I ask is that you keep this room clean and treat the customers like
they are royalty. Is that clear?"
Unsure, I bit my bottom lip. But she wasn't going to continue
without an answer. "Yes," I managed, wondering what I was getting
myself into.
"This is your uniform, you should keep it clean and yourself
presentable. Go try it on, so that I can see if it needs any
adjustments," she instructed, handing me the bag. I took it slowly and
looked at her in confusion. "Go on," she urged, this time sounding
again like a nice old lady.
Unsure of what I was getting myself into, I went into the
bathroom and closed the door behind me. In the garment bag she had
handed me was appeared to be a harem's outfit. There was a small green
bra with hundreds of sparkling sequence beads covering it. The pants
were see-through except for the panties at the top and there was also
sequence at the waistline of it. I stared in astonishment at the
outfit; this was my uniform? Quickly I put it on and looked at myself
in the mirror. I felt silly in this clothing, or lack there of. I
stepped out of the room and the elderly lady stood up, a look of clear
appreciation on her face. "It fits wonderfully."
"Really?" I asked, astonished. Surely there was a mistake. I
looked at myself, than at her.
She walked around me, pulling my hair aside to inspect the back.
"Oh yes. You don't have as large as breasts as the other girls, but
your pretty face more than makes up for that." I wasn't sure whether to
thank her for that or not. "I have brought you some make-up, but your
face has a natural red of the sun on it, so you won't need much."
I stared at the bag of cosmetics that she handed me and then at
her again. She must be kidding! I thought insanely, touching the bag
half out of curiosity like a child fascinated with the flame of fire. I
had never seen real make-up before, except through the window of stores
in town. And this woman was just giving me an entire bag?
Perhaps my amazement and wonder showed on my face, because she
laughed to herself as she stood up. "Have you never worn make-up
before?"
"Oh, no Ma'am," I replied earnestly, putting the bag down
quickly. "My mother always said that natural beauty is the best."
For a brief moment her mouth turned down in a frown as she seemed
to size me up again. "Then I suggest you go home to your mother, dear.
The world you're in demands that you hide your true feelings behind a
mask and layers of make-up. There's no room for softhearted, innocents
here. When you came in, there was a light of determination in your eyes
that made me believe you would do anything to make your way through
life. Was I wrong?"
I stared at her, trying to lock away the tears that wanted to
grieve just a bit for the mother I so recently lost. Instead I pulled
yet another emotionless facade over myself, cowering behind it like a
lost and alone puppy. "My mother has passed on, Ma'am," I responded
evenly, taking my eyes from hers before she could read the pain there.
She stared at me a minute, as though my words were foreign to her
ears. The silence grew thick with unsaid words, to the point that I
wanted to scream. Finally she turned from me and walked towards the
door, her cane tapping on the wooden entryway. "Dinner is served at
seven, you should be dressed and in the kitchen by six-thirty."
I watched as she left my room without saying another word, and
closed the door behind her. I let out the air my lungs had been holding
and laid back on the bed. If the outfit I wore gave any implications, I
may have just got myself in more than I could handle.
@~~~~~~
I had no idea where the kitchen was, so I prepared myself and
leaned against my bedroom door, listening for the sounds of the other
girls going down stairs.
At promptly six-thirty I heard footsteps in the hall, followed by
talking and giggling. I opened my door, making sure to lock it as I
closed it back. There was two girls passing as I stepped out, and
instantly they quieted and stared at me. I felt naked under their
intense gaze that traveled from my feet adjourned with white high heels
to my hair that I had curled and styled. I swallowed hard, trying to
avoid eye contact. I felt dirty, and unprepared for the thoughts of the
other girls here.
Thankfully I was spared any further humiliation as the girl I had
encountered in the hall earlier pushed her way through the crowd and
grabbed my elbow. "What are you all staring at?" she snarled, which
seemed to break the spell cast over everyone in the hall and they
continued on their way. As soon as everyone passed, she pulled out a
cigarette and lit it. "You okay kid?"
I nodded my head, still feeling my heart pounding in my chest. I
wrapped my arms around my midsection and stared at the floor as we
began walking towards the stairs.
The stench of cigarette smoke engulfed my nostrils when she
exhaled. "Listen, Setsuna, the trick to surviving this place is being
able to conceal your real feelings. You can't let anyone know that you
are scared, sad - anything. Hide those feelings, deep inside or they
will eat you alive. The girls aren't so bad, they just have to size up
everyone new before they accept them. There is so many who don't make
it, who can't hide themselves from everyone long enough to do their
job."
"How long did it take you?" I asked, taking my first good look
around since we had started downstairs. We passed through a doorway and
down a hall. On the other side of one of the closed doors we passed, I
could hear a large crowd talking and laughing. I imagined it was the
dining hall, full of men that waited for us to bring out their food so
they could grope and stare at our bodies.
She looked serious for a long moment before answering. "A few
days, actually. I had prepared myself for what I would have to do to
survive, so I adjusted myself as fast as I had to in order to do my job
without letting it get to me." She shrugged, taking another hit from
her cigarette and blowing it out slowly into the air. "By the way, my
name is Akila."
"Thanks," I mumbled, trying to push down the pounding of my heart
as we entered the kitchen area. There was a long table full of trays
that displayed delicious smelling food and a girl handing them out to
everyone that past.
"For what?" Akila replied, looking surprised at my sincerity.
"For helping me, listening to me - for being kind to me when I
know you didn't have to." I took my tray and followed the line of girls
that went out the door.
She smiled, sadly it seemed, and took her tray. As we entered the
dinning room, a large roar of men clapping filled the room, followed by
music. "Hey kid," she yelled as we parted. "Stay safe."
I nodded my head just as I lost sight of her. I was pushed along
in the crowd of women that began placing trays in the middle of tables,
exposing half their chest as they did so. I gasped as I felt someone
grab my bottom and squeeze hard. "Hey Genjo, we got a fresh piece of
meat over here!" he called to his friend across the table who turned
and smiled at me. I felt a shiver run up my spine, but I managed to
hide the disgusted look on my face and force a smile, however small it
was.
To my utter surprise I felt him pick me up by my waist and sit me
on the table beside his place. His hand was cold and rough with callous
as he rubbed up my thigh. "A pretty one, aren't you? A little shy, too.
But that's okay, we'll break you in."
Tears sprang to my eyes, but determinedly I pushed them back. His
hand was now under my see through pants and playing idling with the
edge of my underwear. Across the room I caught sight of Akila sitting
on a table also, laughing as she pushed away a man's hand from her
breast. She smiled seductively and put a piece of bread in his mouth.
With my mouth dry and my heart pounding, I tried to mimic her and
pushed the man's hand away. From a part of me I didn't know I could
conjuror up, I managed to laugh airily and pick up a roll. I pushed the
little piece in his mouth, feeling my stomach turn like I wanted to
vomit as I did so. He licked my fingers one by one, still smiling in a
goofy way. "Maybe you aren't as shy as I assumed," he mumbled
thoughtfully, picking up his beer to wash down the bread.
The night wore on in much the same manner. It seemed every man in
the room at one point grabbed my bottom or pinched my tender breast
that ached for nearly five minutes after they passed. I felt so dirty,
so full of shame. I was glad my mother was dead, so she couldn't see
the humility I faced just for money. I wanted to cry, to scream - but
none of that would do me any good. I had to continue on.
The longer the music played, the drunker the men got. Some
disappeared off with the girls and others passed out here and there.
The air was thick with the stench of cigarette smoke and alcohol so
much you could see it hanging lazily around everyone. I wanted to slip
out and go to my room. With small smiles that I hoped was enticing, and
allowing the men to grope me, I had made sixteen gold pieces. All I
wanted now was to escape to my room and try to scrub my body clean of
the dirt I felt was so deep I would forever feel it.
Things were not to be so simple.
I was nearly to the door when I felt someone grab my hand and
spin me around. The first man I had encountered hours earlier had
grabbed me, and was currently pressing his face to my neck. I struggled
for a moment until I saw Madam staring at me from where she was
surrounded by four men. I swallowed down my anxiety and allowed him to
leave a smudge of wet kisses down my neck. "You smell so fresh, so
new," he mumbled, his words slurred together by the alcohol in his
system. "Let's go see if you are as pretty everywhere as your face is."
Unwillingly I was practically dragged into the first bedroom we
came to where I was crushed by his weight on top of me. I stared at the
ceiling, wondering how I could get myself out of this mess, when I felt
him begin to pull at my clothing.
"No!" I screamed, uncaring if Madam heard me. "Don't touch me!
No!" I screamed over and over, but either he didn't hear me or didn't
care. I struggled, but his body was stronger than mine and he stripped
me of my clothes as he began sucking on my skin and hurting my body
where he fondled.
I locked my legs together, or so I thought. But easily he pushed
himself between them. I gasped as I felt his hardness push against me
and pain shot through my body. I screamed as loud as I could, pushing
on his body and even trying to but my head against his.
Just before he betrayed me completely, he was thrown off the bed
and into the floor. I continued to scream, reaching for anything to
cover my nudity from the man who now stood at the foot of the bed. He
raised his hands in a calming gesture and came closer, which only
served to cause me to scream louder.
"Please, stop screaming, I don't want to harm you." He sat beside
me, wrapping a blanket around me as he did.
I stopped screaming, but continued to dig my feet into the bed,
trying to move further from him. "Get away from me! Get away!" I
yelled.
"Shhh," he whispered calmingly, moving to the end of the bed.
"I'm not going to touch you, calm down." For an eternity we stared at
each other, him in a calm, soothing way and me in complete panic. I
caught my breath finally, and wiped the tears from my face. The man
looked at me with obvious sadness in his eyes as I tried to collect
myself.
"You're so young," he noted, still looking surprised it seemed.
"My name is Genjo, what's yours?"
"Setsuna," I replied in a small voice that I barely heard. I
wondered if he had.
He smiled softly, his blonde hair fell lazily over his forehead
and his soft brown eyes stared at me while I calmed my pounding heart.
On the floor, the man who had tried to rape me began to stir and I
whimpered. "Easy," Genjo said soothingly, checking the man on the
floor. "He's passed out, he can't hurt you." He stared at me and I at
him for another minute before he spoke. "What is someone as young as
you doing in a place like this, anyways?"
"Just passing through," I replied evenly, moving my eyes from his
intense gaze.
"Where are you headed?"
"The capital." He nodded his head thoughtfully and looked around
the room. I pulled the sheet higher on my body, my muscles aching from
the drunken man's earlier assault.
"I'm heading to the capital city, myself. If you'd like I'll give
you a lift. It can't be to safe for a young girl to be traveling alone,
and I could get you there faster than on foot."
I looked at the man on the floor, and recalled him calling out to
Genjo earlier. I blinked, looking back at my benefactor. He smiled as
he understood what I was implying before I said it. "No, I travel
alone," he assured me. "I meet him the other night when I arrived here
and he took me on for a friend, not the other way around."
I wasn't sure what to do, but I had promised my mother I would
get to the capital and find my father. And surely he had no evil
intentions, or he wouldn't have saved me earlier, would he?
He patiently awaited my answer and finally I nodded. I didn't
want to stay here any longer, the money I made wasn't worth the
humiliation I had to suffer to get it. He smiled, and for the first
time I realized how young he looked. In my mind, though, he would
always be larger than life. The man who had saved me, and would help me
towards my goal. Forever he would stay in my mind like he was at that
moment.
Forever...
@~~~~~~
"Whoa..." Genjo called to his horse, pulling on the reins. We
came to a stop in front of an Inn and dismounted from the horse. I
followed behind Genjo slowly, not peeking out from under the hooded
cloak I wore. He tired the horse up and grabbed our bags. "Follow me,"
he said to me, taking my hand in his larger one.
His hand felt warm in my cold one, and the heat seemed to radiate
over my entire body. Around us light snow flurries fell from the sky
haphazardly to color the countryside of the small village with its
white brilliance. I had lived so far south that I had only seen snow
once in my lifetime, but my heavy eyelids wouldn't allow me to enjoy it
tonight.
After checking in, we climbed the staircase into a small room. In
the middle of the room was a small bed and one nightstand beside it. A
couch that had seen better years about a century ago, sat to the right.
The bathroom was off to the left and one window looked out over the
town. Genjo dropped our bags on the bed and looked in the bathroom
quickly. "Well, it's not what your accustomed to, by far..."
"Oh, it's great. It's a great place," I replied, pulling my cloak
off and taking another long look around. "Cozy, kind of."
"Yeah," Genjo snorted, sitting down to remove his boots. "'Bout
as cozy as a four foot space under a house that your sharing with a
rattle snake. But it'll do for tonight."
I giggled at the sour expression on his face and took my bag into
the bathroom to change. After washing my face and pulling a clean
nightgown on, all I wanted to do was feel the side of my face resting
against a pillow. I came back out to find Genjo laying on the couch; no
pillow, blanket or anything.
"I have two pillows," I said softly, biting my bottom lip. "Do
you want one? Or the comforter? I can just use the sheet."
"I'm fine," he replied, his brown eyes looking at me with an
expression I couldn't identify. But whatever it was he was thinking as
he gazed at me, it made butterflies stir in my stomach and a warm
sensation shoot down my spine.
"Eh, well," I stuttered, shifting my eyes away quickly. "Good
night, then." I crawled into the bed and blew the candle out. I thought
myself exhausted, but now that I was laying down I couldn't sleep. The
darkness was so bleak and empty, and the air so silent that my every
breath seemed intensified. "Genjo?" I whispered into the darkness,
praying he was still awake.
"Yes?"
I propped my head up on my hand, feeling some of the nervousness
leave my body now that I had someone to talk to. "How old are you?"
"How old are you?" he asked instead of answering my question.
"I asked you first," I giggled. I tried to picture his face in
the darkness, but couldn't. Somehow I suddenly wished I hadn't blown
out the candle. "Answer me and I'll tell you."
"I'm seventeen," he answered proudly, it seemed. "And you?"
I laid my head back on the pillow, my face still towards his
general direction. "I'll be fourteen tomorrow," I whispered. I felt
exhaustion settle over my body; the traveling, my assault, and then the
additional traveling had worn me down. "Genjo?" I said, followed
quickly by a yawn.
"Yes, Setsuna?"
In my tired mind it seemed his voice was closer now. I nodded
off, only half conscience of what I said. "I'm glad I met you."
The darkness of my mind draped over my being and pulled me into
sleep's gentle arms. But not so quickly that I didn't hear his reply.
"Me, too, Setsuna. Me, too."
@------
"Are you as pretty all over as your face? Let's find out...."
I struggled, twisted and turned under his great weight, but it
was there - pressing my shape into the mattress underneath. No!! I
wanted to scream, but my voice barely came as a muffled howl.
Wet lips sucked at my neck, my collarbone, my breast--I tried to
bite, scream, kick - but nothing... nothing... and I was falling down,
deeper into the darkness. No! I couldn't stop fighting! He was going to
rape me! Over and over again, he called my name as he pushed to drive
himself into my body ... Over and over... and over....
"NO!!"
"Setsuna! Setsuna, wake up!"
I gasped for air, rising up off the bed; kicking and screaming
the entire way. Finally I forced my eyes open, breathing heavily as my
heart pounded in an accelerated pace. Where was I? Who... who was
holding me...?
In a gentle wave of memory, everything came back to me and I felt
myself calm down. It was alright, Genjo had saved me. I was far away
from that place, and those people... Safe. My muscles hurt, my head
pounding in time to the beating of my heart. Safe... Safe now.
"Are you okay now?" Genjo asked. I had barely noticed how closely
he held me against his chest. I felt foolish for having nightmares that
woke him up. God only knew how bad he needed his sleep after traveling.
"I'm fine," I whispered, willing my body to move away from him.
But my heart knew better, I didn't want to be away from him. That safe
feeling, was it from his arms that held me tight? Or his breath that
warmed my neck?
Gently he let me go and allowed me to lay back on the bed. "Shhh,
just go back to sleep. I'm right here with you," he assured me,
brushing his thumb over my cheek. The small candle he had lit darted
back and forth on the wick, causing shadows to dance on the walls of
the small room. I laid awake for the longest time and Genjo stayed
right beside me, watching over me.
Sometime later I felt him climb up onto the bed beside me,
wrapping his arms around my body. He didn't press himself to me, and I
found myself not caring if he did. With the greatest of ease I cuddled
up against his body and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
@~~~~~~
Because of the way our room faced, the sun didn't come through
the window. Still when it was high enough in the air, enough light
shone through to wake me. My eyes closed, I stretched my body out to
remove some of the stiffness.
It took me a minute to realize that I was alone. Had last night
only been a dream? Where was Genjo? Was he mad at me for acting like
such a child? A million possible situations ran through my mind as I
rose and dressed.
I brushed out my hair and put it up in a ponytail. Still I was
alone in the room. Just as I began to really grow nervous, the door to
the room swung open slowly and Genjo tiptoed in. I watched with a smile
as he put down a package and carefully closed the door behind him. And
all of that, only to turn and see me watching him.
"Eh, you're awake," he stated, as if he was explaining the
situation to an audience. "I, um, expected you to sleep longer."
"Oh!" I blinked, relizing I had slept rather late. "I usually
rise early, I'm not sure why I slept in today." Even as my voice
trailed off, he stood in the doorway, looking like he had just seen a
ghost. After a minute of him saying not a word, I laughed. "Did I scare
you that bad?"
He blinked, shaking his head and then blinking hard again. "Wha--
no! I, well, happy birthday," he said, blushing, as he handed the
package in his hand to me.
I looked at the small box wrapped in brown packing paper and then
up at him. Tears burned behind my eyes, but I swallowed them down
quickly and gently ripped at the paper. Inside was a jewelry box, the
likes I had only dreamed of as I stared in store windows. I gasped as I
opened it, peering in at the beautiful fine silver chain that lay on a
piece of cotton within. On the chain was a small key shaped charm that
sparkled in the sunlight.
This time, I couldn't hold back the flood of tears. "Genjo,
you... but... oh my goodness!" I finally exclaimed, plucking the
delicate chain out of the cotton it sat in and admiring it. "It's
beautiful, but you didn't have to do this. I.. I can't take something
so expensive..."
"Bah," he mumbled, his face beet red by now. "Don't worry about
it. I can't think of a better way to spend my money."
Caught up in the joy of the moment, I jumped up and threw my arms
around him. We fell back onto the sofa, me on top of him, as we burst
out laughing. Our faces were mere inches apart, both our breaths heavy.
"Thank you," I whispered. In the back of my mind I pictured him leaning
up, just a little, and kissing me. Did I want that? The way it played
out in my mind was perfect, if only....
Genjo stared at me for a minute, and then cleared his throat.
"Your... eh, your elbow..."
"Oh, sorry!" I exclaimed, jumping up quickly. Disappointment
caused my eyes to burn, but I past the thought and pulled the necklace
out of the box. "Could you put this on me?"
Clumsily he latched the necklace behind my neck and I let it fall
between my breasts. It felt warm against my skin, reminding me of the
gentle smile he had as I opened the box. I felt a pleasant shiver run
up my spine at the thought. When I turned back around he was picking up
our bags from the floor. "Ready?"
I glanced around, looking for anything I might have forgotten.
Finding nothing, I nodded and followed him out to the horse were we
once more began our journey.
@~~~~~~
The snow grew deeper the further north we traveled. The horse we
rode on complained often, stopping and looking around as if for a warm
place to run to. We passed many small, sleepy looking villages - some
with families that looked to be living poorer than I did growing up.
As I leaned against Genjo's back, I fingered the necklace that
lay on my chest. A key. What a peculiar thing to choose for a charm, I
thought. It looked like an old fashioned skeleton key with three tiny
prongs. Simple, yet beautiful. I let it go, looking up curiously at the
town we had reached. Genjo brought the horse in front of a tavern and
stopped. "We can get something to eat here before setting out again. If
I'm right, we can reach the next town before nightfall."
I had no idea, so I said nothing. He helped me off the horse and
together we walked into the small building. The tavern consisted of one
huge room. On the far side a bar stretched the entire length of the
wall while tables with a chair sitting on all sides were scattered
around a makeshift stage in the middle. Currently a man with a guitar
was standing, drumming out a mournful tune that no one seemed to be
listening to.
Genjo lead me to a table near the left wall and we sat down. I
pulled my cloak off my head, letting my hair fall in waves down my back
as I shook it out. I looked around at the pictures on the wall,
advertisements for this or that when I first noticed the strange look I
was receiving from a table across the way. An older man nudged his
companion, and they both stared at me. I felt a shiver go up my spine
and I turned quickly.
Genjo, who had been paying more attention to the menu than to
what was going on around him, looked up with his mouth open to say
something when he seen the disturbed look on my face. His eyebrows
wrinkled together in concern immediately. "What's wrong?"
I shook my head, looking down. Surely they were looking at
something else, not me. I was being silly to be so paranoid, right? I
tried to shrug it off, but when I looked back over, they were still
staring. And then, when I turned back to Genjo, the man and woman at
the table on the other side were staring, too.
Genjo, noticing where my eyes were wandering, turned to look
behind him. "What are you two staring at?" he demanded in a rough, deep
voice. I didn't know whether to sink lower into my chair or be happy he
took up for me.
The couple at the table behind him said nothing, but occasionally
I would catch them looking up and talking as they pointed in my
direction. Even the waitress took our order while staring at me until
Genjo slammed his fist down on the table and demanded to know what she
was staring at. She shook her head and scrambled away.
I felt the familiar sting of tears building behind my eyes. What
could be wrong? Was it my hair? I knew I my emerald hair was always
being made fun of, but by grown men and women? Surely they wouldn't
stoop to such childish behavior.
"What is everyone's problem?" Genjo mumbled under his breath,
glaring around at everyone. I shook my head, not knowing what to say.
It was the most bizarre thing, to be goggled at like a specimen in a
zoo. I wanted to disappear.
As if reading my thoughts, Genjo stood up, taking my hand. "Let's
get out of here," he commanded, dragging me along behind him. We
mounted the horse and set out in a run out of the town. I stayed
silent, gripping my arms around his chest with my eyes clasped shut.
I glanced back at the town we were leaving and felt a rush of
cold overtake my body. Was this how it was going to be? Would my father
shut me out the same way mere strangers did? If he did, what would I do
then?
--End Chapter One.
Wow, that took me forever to write! It will be about two or three weeks
before you see another chapter, if not longer. These chapters are going
to be very long (if you can't tell) so it will take longer to get them
out. Eitherway, you can still let me know that you are reading my work
by dropping me a line @ Bethany212@comcast.net or by leaving a review
::hint, hint:: ^_^
HUGE thanks to everyone who has reviewed my other stories, and those
who email me and encourage me to continue writing *huggles* Also, lots
of love to my editor, who keeps me straight and spelling correctly
^_^!!
See you in a couple of weeks for Chapter Two - Fathers and Daughters
@~~~~~~
Beyond the Staff
Chapter One - Life as I knew it
By: Bethany
Editor: Meara
Rated: PG 13
@~~~~~~
Temporarily I found myself blinded by my mother's hair
as she pulled me down and rested my head upon her breast.
Faintly I could hear her heartbeat in my ear, but what caught
my attention most was the odd rattling that occupied her every
breath. Worriedly I positioned my head so I could look into
my mother's beautiful face. It took her a moment to begin. She
closed her eyes, remembering things I never could. And it hurt
her, I could feel it in her racing heart and heard it in her
voice when she finally began.
"I was fourteen when I was called to court to be a Lady
in Waiting for Princess Adara. I was removed from my home and
taken to the palace in one very short evening. Grieving,
missing my parents greatly, I mopped around the palace for
months. A couple of days prior to my sixteenth birthday was
when I meet him. I was sitting in the gardens, crying for my
parents, when a young man sat beside me. Gradually we began
talking and I found for the first time since arriving at
that hateful place I could laugh. We spent hours together
each day; walking through the garden, laughing and talking.
We enjoyed each other's company greatly."
She stopped for a moment, a lone tear traveling down
her face that she wiped at in vain. "It wasn't until after
we had become lovers and I became pregnant that I also found
out he was the Prince. I suppose it was my blindness to
everything around me that caused me to never know. In a
depression deep enough, the world could blow up around one
and one would never know. I could think of nothing else to
do about my situation - so I told him I was with child. For
months on end your father tried to find a way for us to be
together. However, no one would hear of the nineteen year old
Prince marrying a sixteen-year-old Lady in Waiting. Especially
one as disliked as I was because of my deep grieving of my
family. In the end he did the only thing he knew to do.
"It was over in a flash, really. Together we went to his
parent's chamber and explained the situation to them. Less
than five minutes later I found myself being dragged to a
dungeon by two guards. The King didn't want to hear of my
condition, or about our love. He laid down a punishment
for Setsutarou - he was banished from the kingdom until
after I had given birth and was gone." The flood of tears
that streamed down her face made my own eyes fill with
tears. I buried my face deep against her chest and hugged
her tightly. "I could hear him screaming my name as they
carried us in two different directions. The sound of his
voice still haunts me. The last words I ever heard from
his mouth; 'I love you, both of you.'"
The silence stretched on in the room. About five minutes
or so later I looked up at my mother, but she was still staring
out into space. The information she had told me might not have
made sense to a normal twelve year old... and suddenly I wished
I hadn't learned so much in my short life. Then I wouldn't
understand either. But as it was, I understood all too clearly.
Royal blood ran through my veins, and no one on Pluto
except for the King, the Prince and my mother knew. I saw my
father in a different light now - where once I had thought he
choose to leave us, I now knew he hadn't. It must have been
hard, for a Prince to decide between the woman he loved and
his country; his duty. I'm not sure I could have made the
decision myself.
"After you were born," my mother suddenly said, picking
up her story again. "I was banished from the kingdom - and if
I wanted us to live, I was to leave and never return. Also, never
to mention that I had given birth the first born to the
throne of Pluto. By the time I had spent five months in the prison
the King had placed me in, I only wanted to leave with
you. So I did. I traveled here, where I tried to begin a new life.
But I was always seen as a cast away, an outsider that didn't
belong. I had no roots here, my parents were of no help because
they would have known I had gotten pregnant in the realms of
the palace walls and begin asking questions. So for our lives,
I started anew here."
In her pause, I finally brought the question that was
burning in my mind to surface. Pushing back my hair with my
hand, I looked up into her green eyes. "Mama, why are you
telling me this now?"
She didn't answer me for a long time. Minutes ticked by
softly, but I paid them no heed as I stared into my mother's
face. She seemed to age right before my eyes, sinking into the
pillows she laid on. I felt my chest become heavy, my heart
knowing before my mind what was about to happen.
"Setsuna, my beautiful, precious baby girl," my mother
whispered in my ear, running her fingers through my long mass
of hair. "My Setsutarou's daughter," she began crying softly,
tears slowly sliding down her face and off her chin. I wanted
to wipe them away, but I couldn't move. So instead I lay on my
mother's bosom and listened to the words that would change my
life forever.
"I had hopes of seeing you graduate from school,
hopes to see you happily married and the sound of your own
children at my feet before this happened. Setsuna, I'm dying.
The doctor was here just before you came home from school and
said that there is a tumor on my brain. I tell you this now
so that you don't become a ward of this city when I'm gone."
I tried to pinch myself, for surely this was a horrid
nightmare. The tears in my eyes made everything so blurry,
but I didn't care to see straight. If everything remained
hazy, there was still hope I was dreaming. My heart pounded
loudly in my ears, fear and sadness already making its home
in my chest and in my days. I shook my head no, denying what
she said to be true. But my mother had never lied to me,
perhaps she had been lied to. Perhaps...
"Setsuna, it's true. I know how hard this is, but you
are a strong girl. You have my will and your father's knowledge,
and more than I have ever dreamed for you will become reality.
You must go to the Prince, tell him who you are. The King is
sick and surely hasn't the strength to deny you. Please do
this, for me. So that I may lay in peace."
As the afternoon sun broke through the rain clouds
and faded through the cloth that served as a curtain to my
mother's room, I promised her that I would go to the Palace
and reveal who I was. And at the delicate age of twelve, I
had no idea all that would come with that promise. No idea
of the hardships, heartaches and pain that tagged along. It
would be a lesson learned in time.
Time, which would show me the way. Time that would
comfort me. Time that would be my prison for all eternity.
~~~~*~~~~
@------
~~~~*~~~~
One year and nine months later I stood outside in
the rain, much like the cold rain that had fallen the day
my past was revealed, and watched my beautiful mother
lowered into the ground. No tears stained my face, my
well of tears had dried. Instead I seemed to be outside
my body, watching as everything transpired around me. No
friends comforted me, I had none. No family shared my grief,
I was alone in this world that only offered me bitter cold
wind and gray days.
I dropped a solitary rose into the ground and turned to run away
from the sound of the dirt sealing my mother forever in the darkness.
I ran until I reached my house, but even then I didn't cry. I simply
began walking to my room, staring at everything with a dull pain
coursing through my body.
Mechanically I opened a cloth bag and began filling it with my
few belongings. How my heart hurt when I descended the three steps of
our porch, leaving behind the home that had seen my first words, first
steps, and childhood dreams.
Goodbye memories of her smiling face lighting up as I ran up the
yard and into her open arms. Goodbye to the sound of the rain pounding
on the tin roof and seeping through the cracks and into pots and pans.
Goodbye warmth, love and comfort.
Goodbye, Mama.
@~~~~~~
The days that followed all seemed hazy when I look back on them,
but at the time they were as real as the sores on the bottom of my
feet. I left Higo, the village I had grown up in on a northwards trek
towards the capital. When my mother had fled there nearly fourteen
years earlier, she had somehow made a ten-day journey before settling
down. This was only my third day of travel and already my feet hurt so
badly I could barely stand.
I approached another village and draped my cloak over my head.
Most people paid me no mind when I passed through, asked for directions
or offered a service in trade for a meal. But still I knew that the
back roads of some larger towns were the home of evil men who rapped
and killed young girls like myself. I gave an involuntary shiver and
hugged my bag of belongings closer to my chest as I made my way down
the main street. A horse and buggy passed me, the dirt lingering in the
air and making my eyes water. The Moons hung lazily in the eastern sky,
telling me that night was approaching fast.
Just ahead of me was a splintered sign indicating an Inn. It hung
from a metal pole that squeaked as the wind blew it. It wasn't one of
the nicer places to stay, but then I hadn't been able to afford much
better, either. I pushed slowly on the door, its hinges moaning in
protest with a loud, high-pitched squeal. Inside was a small table with
two chairs and one elderly lady sitting to the left, needlework in her
hand. Her silver hair had just a hint of gold to it, suggesting she may
have once had a full hair of blonde hair. She wore it pulled back into
a loose bun, held together with a knitting needle. As I came around the
corner and into sight, she lifted her eyes up wearily and put her
needlework on the table. Watery hazel eyes bid me welcome as she pulled
a wooden cane over to try and stand.
"Oh, don't get up on my account, Ma'am," I said, waving my hands
in front of me. I pulled my cloak away from my head, letting my waist
length green hair fall down in waves. I stepped closer to the lady,
smiling as warmly as my tired face would allow. "I came upon your Inn
and I need a place to stay the night. I haven't much money, but I could
work off my debt."
"You travel alone, young one?" she asked, a look of both
suspension and surprise on her face as she looked past me and seen no
one.
"Yes Ma'am, I do. Do you have room open, please?" I repeated when
she didn't answer. She scanned me from head to toe, taking in my face,
long hair and concentrating most, it seemed, on my small bag of
belongings I held tight against my body. I felt a line of sweat form on
my forehead as I stood under her inspection. "Ma'am?"
"Upstairs, second door on the right you will find a room. We will
discuss your payment later," she commanded and picked her needlework up
again. As I ascended the stairs I felt like I had just been branded,
and approved from the looks of it. I wasn't sure if that was a good
sign or not.
I hurried up the steps and onto the second floor landing. Once I
turned the corner, however, I was in for a shock beyond my imagination.
The rickety hardwood floor was suddenly covered with expensive, plush
red carpet accented lightly with gold thread. The walls were clothed
with a white silky material and wooden tables sat between every door
down the hall, vases of assorted flowers upon them.
Ahead of me, further down the hall, a door swung open allowing
loud dance music to fill the hall. A woman stepped out, a cigarette
angling from her full, rose red lips. She had short jet-black haircut
around her face and enough rouge on her face for three people. But the
most shocking thing was the outfit she wore. The bright red dress on
her figure looked painted on it was so tight. Her full breasts were
jetting out the top of the garment, and then clung to her shapely
figure until just below her thighs, making her legs seem that much
longer. She walked past me, her piercing blue eyes casting a downwards
glance at me. "Who are you?" she asked, blowing cigarette smoke in my
face as she spoke.
"Eh, Setsuna," I mumbled, not sure what to say and scared to say
nothing. She reached out her hand, her long nails painted in the same
color as her dress, and felt of my hair.
She seemed to size me up, and then a look of bewilderment clouded
her features. "You're terribly young, aren't you?"
"I'm just passing through," I replied unsurely.
"Right," she mumbled. "You a runaway?" she asked, pointing to the
bag I held close to my chest. "I'd suggest that you go home, girl. This
isn't the life I would suggest for someone as young as you. Believe
me," I seen a far off look in her eyes and then suddenly she snapped
her head, like realizing where she was. "I ran away when I wasn't much
older than you, came here all the way from Earth," she bragged.
I felt my eyes grow huge. There wasn't many with hair that jet-
black on Pluto, I knew. But to have came here all the way from Earth? I
couldn't resist asking more. "Why did you choose here?"
She looked shocked, like many had asked why she came here rather
than why she had chosen here. She placed her cigarette bunt in a
flowerpot and blew the remaining smoke towards the ceiling. "It is the
furthest point in this Galaxy away from Earth, and I wanted to be far
away."
Intrigued, I started to ask more when another door opened,
laughter filling the hall. The sound seemed to be a reality check for
the young lady and she took another step away from me and towards the
steps. "How old are you?" she asked, this time not looking as
interested by my answer as before.
"I'll be fourteen in two days," I replied, wondering at the same
time if I should have tried to pass for older.
She shook her head, looking sadden by my answer. "That's even
younger than I was," she mumbled, more to herself than to me, it
seemed. And without another word, she went around the corner, her heels
tapping on the wooden steps.
I quickly turned the handle to the room I was suppose to stay in
and went inside. I pressed my back on the cool wooden surface and
closed my eyes in relief. On the other side of the polished door was a
room that the cottage I had grown up in would have easily fit in.
Against the far wall was a huge canopy bed with blue satin sheers all
the way around it, and the blankets on it a different shade of blue.
The walls were white with blue thread and the carpet was as plush as
the hallways, just like walking on clouds. To my left was a sitting
area with a love seat, two chairs and a table decked with fruit and
peanuts. To my right was a wall length vanity table covered with creams
and make-up.
I put my bag down and inspected the adjoining bathroom. New
looking brass fixtures were on the sinks, tub and toilet. Mirrors lined
the walls surrounding the tub. A huge walk in closet was placed at the
far end, robes hung on one side and slippers just under them. Sitting
on the sink was two bottles of bath oils, as well as powder and
perfume.
I had never taken a bath in an actual tub before, and the urge
was overwhelming. I turned the water on and slid out of my dress,
pouring bath oil in the steaming water. After it was filled, I slowly
eased myself in until the water was covering my entire body. The warmth
of the liquid relaxed my aching bones and I closed my eyes.
I must have fallen asleep, but I don't remember. The next thing I
remember is thinking that the water was much cooler than before and I
hurriedly stood up to wrap one of the plush towels around my body.
Standing in front of the full-length mirror, I stared at the image
reflected back at me. Surprisingly, the young lady I had become was
pretty. I had my mother's smooth, peaches and cream complexion that was
set off by my dark magenta eyes and emerald hair. I had always been
tall for my age and the short towel wrapped around me intensified my
long legs.
I let the towel fall to my feet and I stared in wonderment at the
body I had never seen fully reflected. My stomach was flat and the
hardness of my breasts were protruding proudly from my chest. I turned
many different angles, staring at myself over and over again. Was this
really me?
"You're quite beautiful," a voice said and I gasped, spinning
around and trying to reach for my towel at the same moment. The elderly
lady from downstairs was standing in the bathroom doorway, a small
smile of satisfaction on her lips. "You mustn't let it go to your head,
though. That is every pretty girl's problem."
"Y-Yes ma'am," I whispered, my throat gone dry. She acted as if
we were just standing in the hall talking, nothing unusual. I felt a
blush creep up my neck and stain my cheeks blood red as I stood nearly
naked under her gaze.
"We'll discuss your payment now, hurry and dress," she commanded
and suddenly she didn't sound like an elderly grandmother like she had
downstairs. Still shaking with embarrassment and now apprehension, I
slipped on a robe and hurried out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.
On the love seat there was a garment bag laying next to the lady.
I sat down in the adjacent seat, folding my legs under me. For a moment
neither of us spoke until finally she began. "You may stay here for as
long as you wish, under my conditions." Not allowing me to get a word
in edgewise, she continued. "I need someone to be a server, a waitress,
if you will. Any tips you make will be yours to do with as you see fit.
All I ask is that you keep this room clean and treat the customers like
they are royalty. Is that clear?"
Unsure, I bit my bottom lip. But she wasn't going to continue
without an answer. "Yes," I managed, wondering what I was getting
myself into.
"This is your uniform, you should keep it clean and yourself
presentable. Go try it on, so that I can see if it needs any
adjustments," she instructed, handing me the bag. I took it slowly and
looked at her in confusion. "Go on," she urged, this time sounding
again like a nice old lady.
Unsure of what I was getting myself into, I went into the
bathroom and closed the door behind me. In the garment bag she had
handed me was appeared to be a harem's outfit. There was a small green
bra with hundreds of sparkling sequence beads covering it. The pants
were see-through except for the panties at the top and there was also
sequence at the waistline of it. I stared in astonishment at the
outfit; this was my uniform? Quickly I put it on and looked at myself
in the mirror. I felt silly in this clothing, or lack there of. I
stepped out of the room and the elderly lady stood up, a look of clear
appreciation on her face. "It fits wonderfully."
"Really?" I asked, astonished. Surely there was a mistake. I
looked at myself, than at her.
She walked around me, pulling my hair aside to inspect the back.
"Oh yes. You don't have as large as breasts as the other girls, but
your pretty face more than makes up for that." I wasn't sure whether to
thank her for that or not. "I have brought you some make-up, but your
face has a natural red of the sun on it, so you won't need much."
I stared at the bag of cosmetics that she handed me and then at
her again. She must be kidding! I thought insanely, touching the bag
half out of curiosity like a child fascinated with the flame of fire. I
had never seen real make-up before, except through the window of stores
in town. And this woman was just giving me an entire bag?
Perhaps my amazement and wonder showed on my face, because she
laughed to herself as she stood up. "Have you never worn make-up
before?"
"Oh, no Ma'am," I replied earnestly, putting the bag down
quickly. "My mother always said that natural beauty is the best."
For a brief moment her mouth turned down in a frown as she seemed
to size me up again. "Then I suggest you go home to your mother, dear.
The world you're in demands that you hide your true feelings behind a
mask and layers of make-up. There's no room for softhearted, innocents
here. When you came in, there was a light of determination in your eyes
that made me believe you would do anything to make your way through
life. Was I wrong?"
I stared at her, trying to lock away the tears that wanted to
grieve just a bit for the mother I so recently lost. Instead I pulled
yet another emotionless facade over myself, cowering behind it like a
lost and alone puppy. "My mother has passed on, Ma'am," I responded
evenly, taking my eyes from hers before she could read the pain there.
She stared at me a minute, as though my words were foreign to her
ears. The silence grew thick with unsaid words, to the point that I
wanted to scream. Finally she turned from me and walked towards the
door, her cane tapping on the wooden entryway. "Dinner is served at
seven, you should be dressed and in the kitchen by six-thirty."
I watched as she left my room without saying another word, and
closed the door behind her. I let out the air my lungs had been holding
and laid back on the bed. If the outfit I wore gave any implications, I
may have just got myself in more than I could handle.
@~~~~~~
I had no idea where the kitchen was, so I prepared myself and
leaned against my bedroom door, listening for the sounds of the other
girls going down stairs.
At promptly six-thirty I heard footsteps in the hall, followed by
talking and giggling. I opened my door, making sure to lock it as I
closed it back. There was two girls passing as I stepped out, and
instantly they quieted and stared at me. I felt naked under their
intense gaze that traveled from my feet adjourned with white high heels
to my hair that I had curled and styled. I swallowed hard, trying to
avoid eye contact. I felt dirty, and unprepared for the thoughts of the
other girls here.
Thankfully I was spared any further humiliation as the girl I had
encountered in the hall earlier pushed her way through the crowd and
grabbed my elbow. "What are you all staring at?" she snarled, which
seemed to break the spell cast over everyone in the hall and they
continued on their way. As soon as everyone passed, she pulled out a
cigarette and lit it. "You okay kid?"
I nodded my head, still feeling my heart pounding in my chest. I
wrapped my arms around my midsection and stared at the floor as we
began walking towards the stairs.
The stench of cigarette smoke engulfed my nostrils when she
exhaled. "Listen, Setsuna, the trick to surviving this place is being
able to conceal your real feelings. You can't let anyone know that you
are scared, sad - anything. Hide those feelings, deep inside or they
will eat you alive. The girls aren't so bad, they just have to size up
everyone new before they accept them. There is so many who don't make
it, who can't hide themselves from everyone long enough to do their
job."
"How long did it take you?" I asked, taking my first good look
around since we had started downstairs. We passed through a doorway and
down a hall. On the other side of one of the closed doors we passed, I
could hear a large crowd talking and laughing. I imagined it was the
dining hall, full of men that waited for us to bring out their food so
they could grope and stare at our bodies.
She looked serious for a long moment before answering. "A few
days, actually. I had prepared myself for what I would have to do to
survive, so I adjusted myself as fast as I had to in order to do my job
without letting it get to me." She shrugged, taking another hit from
her cigarette and blowing it out slowly into the air. "By the way, my
name is Akila."
"Thanks," I mumbled, trying to push down the pounding of my heart
as we entered the kitchen area. There was a long table full of trays
that displayed delicious smelling food and a girl handing them out to
everyone that past.
"For what?" Akila replied, looking surprised at my sincerity.
"For helping me, listening to me - for being kind to me when I
know you didn't have to." I took my tray and followed the line of girls
that went out the door.
She smiled, sadly it seemed, and took her tray. As we entered the
dinning room, a large roar of men clapping filled the room, followed by
music. "Hey kid," she yelled as we parted. "Stay safe."
I nodded my head just as I lost sight of her. I was pushed along
in the crowd of women that began placing trays in the middle of tables,
exposing half their chest as they did so. I gasped as I felt someone
grab my bottom and squeeze hard. "Hey Genjo, we got a fresh piece of
meat over here!" he called to his friend across the table who turned
and smiled at me. I felt a shiver run up my spine, but I managed to
hide the disgusted look on my face and force a smile, however small it
was.
To my utter surprise I felt him pick me up by my waist and sit me
on the table beside his place. His hand was cold and rough with callous
as he rubbed up my thigh. "A pretty one, aren't you? A little shy, too.
But that's okay, we'll break you in."
Tears sprang to my eyes, but determinedly I pushed them back. His
hand was now under my see through pants and playing idling with the
edge of my underwear. Across the room I caught sight of Akila sitting
on a table also, laughing as she pushed away a man's hand from her
breast. She smiled seductively and put a piece of bread in his mouth.
With my mouth dry and my heart pounding, I tried to mimic her and
pushed the man's hand away. From a part of me I didn't know I could
conjuror up, I managed to laugh airily and pick up a roll. I pushed the
little piece in his mouth, feeling my stomach turn like I wanted to
vomit as I did so. He licked my fingers one by one, still smiling in a
goofy way. "Maybe you aren't as shy as I assumed," he mumbled
thoughtfully, picking up his beer to wash down the bread.
The night wore on in much the same manner. It seemed every man in
the room at one point grabbed my bottom or pinched my tender breast
that ached for nearly five minutes after they passed. I felt so dirty,
so full of shame. I was glad my mother was dead, so she couldn't see
the humility I faced just for money. I wanted to cry, to scream - but
none of that would do me any good. I had to continue on.
The longer the music played, the drunker the men got. Some
disappeared off with the girls and others passed out here and there.
The air was thick with the stench of cigarette smoke and alcohol so
much you could see it hanging lazily around everyone. I wanted to slip
out and go to my room. With small smiles that I hoped was enticing, and
allowing the men to grope me, I had made sixteen gold pieces. All I
wanted now was to escape to my room and try to scrub my body clean of
the dirt I felt was so deep I would forever feel it.
Things were not to be so simple.
I was nearly to the door when I felt someone grab my hand and
spin me around. The first man I had encountered hours earlier had
grabbed me, and was currently pressing his face to my neck. I struggled
for a moment until I saw Madam staring at me from where she was
surrounded by four men. I swallowed down my anxiety and allowed him to
leave a smudge of wet kisses down my neck. "You smell so fresh, so
new," he mumbled, his words slurred together by the alcohol in his
system. "Let's go see if you are as pretty everywhere as your face is."
Unwillingly I was practically dragged into the first bedroom we
came to where I was crushed by his weight on top of me. I stared at the
ceiling, wondering how I could get myself out of this mess, when I felt
him begin to pull at my clothing.
"No!" I screamed, uncaring if Madam heard me. "Don't touch me!
No!" I screamed over and over, but either he didn't hear me or didn't
care. I struggled, but his body was stronger than mine and he stripped
me of my clothes as he began sucking on my skin and hurting my body
where he fondled.
I locked my legs together, or so I thought. But easily he pushed
himself between them. I gasped as I felt his hardness push against me
and pain shot through my body. I screamed as loud as I could, pushing
on his body and even trying to but my head against his.
Just before he betrayed me completely, he was thrown off the bed
and into the floor. I continued to scream, reaching for anything to
cover my nudity from the man who now stood at the foot of the bed. He
raised his hands in a calming gesture and came closer, which only
served to cause me to scream louder.
"Please, stop screaming, I don't want to harm you." He sat beside
me, wrapping a blanket around me as he did.
I stopped screaming, but continued to dig my feet into the bed,
trying to move further from him. "Get away from me! Get away!" I
yelled.
"Shhh," he whispered calmingly, moving to the end of the bed.
"I'm not going to touch you, calm down." For an eternity we stared at
each other, him in a calm, soothing way and me in complete panic. I
caught my breath finally, and wiped the tears from my face. The man
looked at me with obvious sadness in his eyes as I tried to collect
myself.
"You're so young," he noted, still looking surprised it seemed.
"My name is Genjo, what's yours?"
"Setsuna," I replied in a small voice that I barely heard. I
wondered if he had.
He smiled softly, his blonde hair fell lazily over his forehead
and his soft brown eyes stared at me while I calmed my pounding heart.
On the floor, the man who had tried to rape me began to stir and I
whimpered. "Easy," Genjo said soothingly, checking the man on the
floor. "He's passed out, he can't hurt you." He stared at me and I at
him for another minute before he spoke. "What is someone as young as
you doing in a place like this, anyways?"
"Just passing through," I replied evenly, moving my eyes from his
intense gaze.
"Where are you headed?"
"The capital." He nodded his head thoughtfully and looked around
the room. I pulled the sheet higher on my body, my muscles aching from
the drunken man's earlier assault.
"I'm heading to the capital city, myself. If you'd like I'll give
you a lift. It can't be to safe for a young girl to be traveling alone,
and I could get you there faster than on foot."
I looked at the man on the floor, and recalled him calling out to
Genjo earlier. I blinked, looking back at my benefactor. He smiled as
he understood what I was implying before I said it. "No, I travel
alone," he assured me. "I meet him the other night when I arrived here
and he took me on for a friend, not the other way around."
I wasn't sure what to do, but I had promised my mother I would
get to the capital and find my father. And surely he had no evil
intentions, or he wouldn't have saved me earlier, would he?
He patiently awaited my answer and finally I nodded. I didn't
want to stay here any longer, the money I made wasn't worth the
humiliation I had to suffer to get it. He smiled, and for the first
time I realized how young he looked. In my mind, though, he would
always be larger than life. The man who had saved me, and would help me
towards my goal. Forever he would stay in my mind like he was at that
moment.
Forever...
@~~~~~~
"Whoa..." Genjo called to his horse, pulling on the reins. We
came to a stop in front of an Inn and dismounted from the horse. I
followed behind Genjo slowly, not peeking out from under the hooded
cloak I wore. He tired the horse up and grabbed our bags. "Follow me,"
he said to me, taking my hand in his larger one.
His hand felt warm in my cold one, and the heat seemed to radiate
over my entire body. Around us light snow flurries fell from the sky
haphazardly to color the countryside of the small village with its
white brilliance. I had lived so far south that I had only seen snow
once in my lifetime, but my heavy eyelids wouldn't allow me to enjoy it
tonight.
After checking in, we climbed the staircase into a small room. In
the middle of the room was a small bed and one nightstand beside it. A
couch that had seen better years about a century ago, sat to the right.
The bathroom was off to the left and one window looked out over the
town. Genjo dropped our bags on the bed and looked in the bathroom
quickly. "Well, it's not what your accustomed to, by far..."
"Oh, it's great. It's a great place," I replied, pulling my cloak
off and taking another long look around. "Cozy, kind of."
"Yeah," Genjo snorted, sitting down to remove his boots. "'Bout
as cozy as a four foot space under a house that your sharing with a
rattle snake. But it'll do for tonight."
I giggled at the sour expression on his face and took my bag into
the bathroom to change. After washing my face and pulling a clean
nightgown on, all I wanted to do was feel the side of my face resting
against a pillow. I came back out to find Genjo laying on the couch; no
pillow, blanket or anything.
"I have two pillows," I said softly, biting my bottom lip. "Do
you want one? Or the comforter? I can just use the sheet."
"I'm fine," he replied, his brown eyes looking at me with an
expression I couldn't identify. But whatever it was he was thinking as
he gazed at me, it made butterflies stir in my stomach and a warm
sensation shoot down my spine.
"Eh, well," I stuttered, shifting my eyes away quickly. "Good
night, then." I crawled into the bed and blew the candle out. I thought
myself exhausted, but now that I was laying down I couldn't sleep. The
darkness was so bleak and empty, and the air so silent that my every
breath seemed intensified. "Genjo?" I whispered into the darkness,
praying he was still awake.
"Yes?"
I propped my head up on my hand, feeling some of the nervousness
leave my body now that I had someone to talk to. "How old are you?"
"How old are you?" he asked instead of answering my question.
"I asked you first," I giggled. I tried to picture his face in
the darkness, but couldn't. Somehow I suddenly wished I hadn't blown
out the candle. "Answer me and I'll tell you."
"I'm seventeen," he answered proudly, it seemed. "And you?"
I laid my head back on the pillow, my face still towards his
general direction. "I'll be fourteen tomorrow," I whispered. I felt
exhaustion settle over my body; the traveling, my assault, and then the
additional traveling had worn me down. "Genjo?" I said, followed
quickly by a yawn.
"Yes, Setsuna?"
In my tired mind it seemed his voice was closer now. I nodded
off, only half conscience of what I said. "I'm glad I met you."
The darkness of my mind draped over my being and pulled me into
sleep's gentle arms. But not so quickly that I didn't hear his reply.
"Me, too, Setsuna. Me, too."
@------
"Are you as pretty all over as your face? Let's find out...."
I struggled, twisted and turned under his great weight, but it
was there - pressing my shape into the mattress underneath. No!! I
wanted to scream, but my voice barely came as a muffled howl.
Wet lips sucked at my neck, my collarbone, my breast--I tried to
bite, scream, kick - but nothing... nothing... and I was falling down,
deeper into the darkness. No! I couldn't stop fighting! He was going to
rape me! Over and over again, he called my name as he pushed to drive
himself into my body ... Over and over... and over....
"NO!!"
"Setsuna! Setsuna, wake up!"
I gasped for air, rising up off the bed; kicking and screaming
the entire way. Finally I forced my eyes open, breathing heavily as my
heart pounded in an accelerated pace. Where was I? Who... who was
holding me...?
In a gentle wave of memory, everything came back to me and I felt
myself calm down. It was alright, Genjo had saved me. I was far away
from that place, and those people... Safe. My muscles hurt, my head
pounding in time to the beating of my heart. Safe... Safe now.
"Are you okay now?" Genjo asked. I had barely noticed how closely
he held me against his chest. I felt foolish for having nightmares that
woke him up. God only knew how bad he needed his sleep after traveling.
"I'm fine," I whispered, willing my body to move away from him.
But my heart knew better, I didn't want to be away from him. That safe
feeling, was it from his arms that held me tight? Or his breath that
warmed my neck?
Gently he let me go and allowed me to lay back on the bed. "Shhh,
just go back to sleep. I'm right here with you," he assured me,
brushing his thumb over my cheek. The small candle he had lit darted
back and forth on the wick, causing shadows to dance on the walls of
the small room. I laid awake for the longest time and Genjo stayed
right beside me, watching over me.
Sometime later I felt him climb up onto the bed beside me,
wrapping his arms around my body. He didn't press himself to me, and I
found myself not caring if he did. With the greatest of ease I cuddled
up against his body and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
@~~~~~~
Because of the way our room faced, the sun didn't come through
the window. Still when it was high enough in the air, enough light
shone through to wake me. My eyes closed, I stretched my body out to
remove some of the stiffness.
It took me a minute to realize that I was alone. Had last night
only been a dream? Where was Genjo? Was he mad at me for acting like
such a child? A million possible situations ran through my mind as I
rose and dressed.
I brushed out my hair and put it up in a ponytail. Still I was
alone in the room. Just as I began to really grow nervous, the door to
the room swung open slowly and Genjo tiptoed in. I watched with a smile
as he put down a package and carefully closed the door behind him. And
all of that, only to turn and see me watching him.
"Eh, you're awake," he stated, as if he was explaining the
situation to an audience. "I, um, expected you to sleep longer."
"Oh!" I blinked, relizing I had slept rather late. "I usually
rise early, I'm not sure why I slept in today." Even as my voice
trailed off, he stood in the doorway, looking like he had just seen a
ghost. After a minute of him saying not a word, I laughed. "Did I scare
you that bad?"
He blinked, shaking his head and then blinking hard again. "Wha--
no! I, well, happy birthday," he said, blushing, as he handed the
package in his hand to me.
I looked at the small box wrapped in brown packing paper and then
up at him. Tears burned behind my eyes, but I swallowed them down
quickly and gently ripped at the paper. Inside was a jewelry box, the
likes I had only dreamed of as I stared in store windows. I gasped as I
opened it, peering in at the beautiful fine silver chain that lay on a
piece of cotton within. On the chain was a small key shaped charm that
sparkled in the sunlight.
This time, I couldn't hold back the flood of tears. "Genjo,
you... but... oh my goodness!" I finally exclaimed, plucking the
delicate chain out of the cotton it sat in and admiring it. "It's
beautiful, but you didn't have to do this. I.. I can't take something
so expensive..."
"Bah," he mumbled, his face beet red by now. "Don't worry about
it. I can't think of a better way to spend my money."
Caught up in the joy of the moment, I jumped up and threw my arms
around him. We fell back onto the sofa, me on top of him, as we burst
out laughing. Our faces were mere inches apart, both our breaths heavy.
"Thank you," I whispered. In the back of my mind I pictured him leaning
up, just a little, and kissing me. Did I want that? The way it played
out in my mind was perfect, if only....
Genjo stared at me for a minute, and then cleared his throat.
"Your... eh, your elbow..."
"Oh, sorry!" I exclaimed, jumping up quickly. Disappointment
caused my eyes to burn, but I past the thought and pulled the necklace
out of the box. "Could you put this on me?"
Clumsily he latched the necklace behind my neck and I let it fall
between my breasts. It felt warm against my skin, reminding me of the
gentle smile he had as I opened the box. I felt a pleasant shiver run
up my spine at the thought. When I turned back around he was picking up
our bags from the floor. "Ready?"
I glanced around, looking for anything I might have forgotten.
Finding nothing, I nodded and followed him out to the horse were we
once more began our journey.
@~~~~~~
The snow grew deeper the further north we traveled. The horse we
rode on complained often, stopping and looking around as if for a warm
place to run to. We passed many small, sleepy looking villages - some
with families that looked to be living poorer than I did growing up.
As I leaned against Genjo's back, I fingered the necklace that
lay on my chest. A key. What a peculiar thing to choose for a charm, I
thought. It looked like an old fashioned skeleton key with three tiny
prongs. Simple, yet beautiful. I let it go, looking up curiously at the
town we had reached. Genjo brought the horse in front of a tavern and
stopped. "We can get something to eat here before setting out again. If
I'm right, we can reach the next town before nightfall."
I had no idea, so I said nothing. He helped me off the horse and
together we walked into the small building. The tavern consisted of one
huge room. On the far side a bar stretched the entire length of the
wall while tables with a chair sitting on all sides were scattered
around a makeshift stage in the middle. Currently a man with a guitar
was standing, drumming out a mournful tune that no one seemed to be
listening to.
Genjo lead me to a table near the left wall and we sat down. I
pulled my cloak off my head, letting my hair fall in waves down my back
as I shook it out. I looked around at the pictures on the wall,
advertisements for this or that when I first noticed the strange look I
was receiving from a table across the way. An older man nudged his
companion, and they both stared at me. I felt a shiver go up my spine
and I turned quickly.
Genjo, who had been paying more attention to the menu than to
what was going on around him, looked up with his mouth open to say
something when he seen the disturbed look on my face. His eyebrows
wrinkled together in concern immediately. "What's wrong?"
I shook my head, looking down. Surely they were looking at
something else, not me. I was being silly to be so paranoid, right? I
tried to shrug it off, but when I looked back over, they were still
staring. And then, when I turned back to Genjo, the man and woman at
the table on the other side were staring, too.
Genjo, noticing where my eyes were wandering, turned to look
behind him. "What are you two staring at?" he demanded in a rough, deep
voice. I didn't know whether to sink lower into my chair or be happy he
took up for me.
The couple at the table behind him said nothing, but occasionally
I would catch them looking up and talking as they pointed in my
direction. Even the waitress took our order while staring at me until
Genjo slammed his fist down on the table and demanded to know what she
was staring at. She shook her head and scrambled away.
I felt the familiar sting of tears building behind my eyes. What
could be wrong? Was it my hair? I knew I my emerald hair was always
being made fun of, but by grown men and women? Surely they wouldn't
stoop to such childish behavior.
"What is everyone's problem?" Genjo mumbled under his breath,
glaring around at everyone. I shook my head, not knowing what to say.
It was the most bizarre thing, to be goggled at like a specimen in a
zoo. I wanted to disappear.
As if reading my thoughts, Genjo stood up, taking my hand. "Let's
get out of here," he commanded, dragging me along behind him. We
mounted the horse and set out in a run out of the town. I stayed
silent, gripping my arms around his chest with my eyes clasped shut.
I glanced back at the town we were leaving and felt a rush of
cold overtake my body. Was this how it was going to be? Would my father
shut me out the same way mere strangers did? If he did, what would I do
then?
--End Chapter One.
Wow, that took me forever to write! It will be about two or three weeks
before you see another chapter, if not longer. These chapters are going
to be very long (if you can't tell) so it will take longer to get them
out. Eitherway, you can still let me know that you are reading my work
by dropping me a line @ Bethany212@comcast.net or by leaving a review
::hint, hint:: ^_^
HUGE thanks to everyone who has reviewed my other stories, and those
who email me and encourage me to continue writing *huggles* Also, lots
of love to my editor, who keeps me straight and spelling correctly
^_^!!
See you in a couple of weeks for Chapter Two - Fathers and Daughters