@~~~~~~
Beyond the Staff
Chapter 2 - Love at Last
By: Bethany
Editor: Meara
Rated: PG
@~~~~~~
Nearly an hour later Genjo pulled off the main road we had been
on and onto a side path through the forest. We stopped by a small
stream and dismounted the horse. I stared up at the night sky, the
stars twinkling back at me kindly. There was a bit of a breeze, but it
was warm and soothing to my troubled soul.
Genjo began setting up a camp, and gathering firewood, all the
time saying nothing. I tried not to think about the way we had been out
cast in the last town we had been in, but it would stay on my mind for
hours. Genjo caught some fish in the stream and cooked them over an
open fire for our dinner. I ate little and then, claiming I was tired,
climbed inside a sleeping bag.
I awoke suddenly, sometime later. The large fire that we once had
was gone, only smoldering ashes left. I blinked sleepily, looking
around. The horse was tethered up to a nearby tree, but otherwise I was
alone. Frightened, I sat up, looking for Genjo.
The forest seemed to be alive with sounds and shadows playing in
the moonlight. My eyes darted around, listening to an owl hooting,
sometimes joined by crickets singing. Other noises also greeted my
eager ears; the sounds of twigs breaking and the ground being crushed
by weight. I tried to ignore the feeling of fear that made my heart
pound and my palms sweat, but there was no denying it. Unsurely I stood
up, listening. "Genjo?" I whispered, craning my neck so that perhaps I
could hear more.
Nothing but the hoot of an owl replied to my call. Frowning, I
stepped away from the camp and towards the river, rationalizing that
perhaps Genjo had gone for some water. I rubbed my arms with my hands
to warm them as I walked, my every breath seemed louder, echoing in the
vast forest around me. The tree limbs moving in the moonlight played
tricks with my mind, whispering that someone or something was watching
me, waiting to attack. I ran forward, stumbling over a tree root and
falling flat on my face. I moaned, rolling over to my back. The stars
above twinkled madly, mocking me. Stupid, foolish girl! they cried.
Dragging others down with you!
Slowly I tried to get to my feet again, but the second I put
weight on my foot, it shrieked with pain. I let out a small yelp,
falling to my knees. I looked around me, but the fall had made me loose
my bearings. Everywhere I looked seemed the same, which way had I come
from? Which way was camp, or the river?
I considered calling for Genjo, but that would be stupid. I
hadn't wondered that far from the camp, surely if I could just get
myself up I could see the paths clearer. I found a large stick and
placed my weight on my good foot so that I could walk. Convincing
myself that the way I had decided on was the correct one, I wobbled
along in pain.
But after several minutes still I didn't find camp, or the river.
The silence seemed to be deafening now, the crickets had suddenly
stopped their mournful song and even the sound of the owl was distant.
And to beat it all, my eyes were playing tricks on my mind. Everywhere
around me, I saw things moving, imagining someone there. My heart
pounded so hard in my chest it reminded me more of a drum. Scared out
of my mind, my knees buckled under me and I sank to the floor of the
forest, the stick I held my only defense.
For hours I fought sleep, determined to stay awake so that I
could see what was happening around me. But my eyes became heavier and
heavier until they began closing on their own. I forced them open,
blinking several times, but they closed again until finally I didn't
have the strength to open them anymore.
@-------
"Setsuna! Setsuna!!"
Groggily I lifted my head. Dried leaves were stuck to the side of
my face and crackled when I sat up. The morning sun was beating down
through the trees, and it didn't look nearly as scary has it had the
night before. Several feet from me a small rodent scurried up a tree,
stopping to look at me curiously before continuing up. In my hands I
still clutched the large tree limb tightly, so much that my palms were
beginning to bleed. Placing my weight on it, I tried to stand up. As
soon as I did the pain stabbed through my foot again.
"Setsuna!!"
I blinked, looking around. The forest was alive with small
animals and birds finding their breakfast. I saw no sign of Genjo. Had
I just imagined his voice calling? I waited, but when I heard nothing,
I assumed it was. Just as I was about to try and walk again, I heard my
name shouted, clearer now than before. It was Genjo. My heart leapt in
my chest and with all my might I screamed: "GENJO! OVER HERE!"
"Setsuna?!" he yelled back. Behind me I heard the crunch of
leaves as he moved towards me. As he came around a large tree, seen me,
and broke into a run. "Setsuna?" he whispered when he came upon me
sitting on the ground. "Are you okay?" I nodded, but couldn't speak. He
was here, saving me. It wasn't a dream, it wasn't, I told myself.
He bent down next to me, placing his hand on my face. "You're
freezing!" Quickly he took off his heavy cloak and wrapped it around my
shoulders. "I've been worried sick," he told me, rubbing my hands
between his to warm them up. "I was searching the area to be sure there
were no one about, and when I came back you were gone. I've been
looking for you since. I don't know how you got this far from camp in
such a short time."
I said nothing, just silently watched as he rubbed my other hand
until I could feel it tingling. He breathed onto my hands as he rubbed
and I saw his breath in the air. Was it really that cold? My body was
so numb I barely felt it anymore.
"I've got to get you warmed up," he said, more to himself than to
me. "Can you walk?"
I nodded yes, but when I put my weight on my foot it went out from
under me almost instantly. I yelped with pain and would have hit
the ground again if Genjo hadn't caught me. With little effort at all
he scooped me into his arms and took off for the camp.
He built a roaring fire, the flames rising higher and higher as
he added more wood. He wrapped me in my sleeping bag, but still I
shivered. If anything, I felt colder now than I had before. My lips
trembled, no matter how hard I tried to stop them and my entire body
shook. I stared up at the sky, seeing small snowflakes beginning to
come down.
Genjo returned to the camp, placed another log on the fire and
came to check me. His eyes looked so worried that I could have cried.
Why was he so worried about me? I was no one to him, a stupid girl that
he happened across the path of. But I could say none of this, only
continue to tremble.
To my utter shock, Genjo suddenly took his shirt off. I stared
silently as he came over to the sleeping bag I laid in and unzipped it.
"I've got to get you warm," he explained, lying down beside me. I just
stared as he zipped it back up and then wrapped his arms around me.
"Just get as close to me as you can, okay? My body heat will help you
warm up."
I could say or do nothing but what he asked. Within seconds I was
pressed against his broad chest, listening to his heart pounding within
his chest. I shivered for a few minutes more, but his body did seem to
be helping. The shaking in my bones seemed to come further and further
apart and the heat of my breath up against his chest warmed my face. I
felt sleepy, but every time I closed my eyes he would tell me not to.
"Don't go to sleep now," he whispered in my ear. "I need to be sure
you're okay before you can sleep, or..." but he left off, suddenly
squeezing me firmly to his body. I felt his muscles tighten, almost
clamping down on me.
Pulling my arm up, I ran my cold fingers down his cheek.
"Why..?" I whispered, my voice cracking and my throat dry. "Why?"
His brown eyes stared down at me with a look of puzzlement. He
grabbed my fingers, holding them within his own. "Why what?" he
mumbled, still staring intently in my eyes.
"Why do you care... why me?" My throat was so dry I could barely
push the words out of my mouth. I tried to lick my lips, but it didn't
help any.
He smiled as if he was recalling a time only he could remember,
and from the way his eyes lit up, it was a beautiful memory. He brought
his face closer to mine, still grasping my hand in his larger one while
his other arm held me tight to his body. "The first night I saw you,
something about your eyes caught me. Such a beautiful, strange color.
They held so much wisdom, longing, and pain. Hauntingly beautiful eyes
that I saw whenever I closed my own." He blinked, his nose nearly
touching mine his face was so close. "I couldn't stop thinking about
you, so I went to find you. And then I saw... I just wanted to kill
him, rip him limb from limb. And you looked at me, so scared, yet so
hopeful. Like you're looking at me now." And before I had time to think
about what he was doing, I felt his lips pressed against mine.
I had never been kissed before, but it was more than I could have
ever imagined or read about. He let go of my hand, cupping my cheek in
his palm instead so he could tilt my head back. I felt him slide his
tongue into my mouth and I gasped with the feeling of someone touching
me that way. So tender his hands were as they rubbed my back. I felt
like I was easing into a warm bath, my body became warmer and my mind
peaceful, yet excited at the same time. I didn't have to think about
how to respond, my body had a will of it's own and my arms encircled
his neck.
Time seemed to speed up, yet stand still. I heard nothing but our
breathing, felt nothing but his body covering mine and his lips on my
own. His hands roamed to parts of my body untouched by another, sending
waves of shock and tingling through my body down to my toes. When his
lips left mine and traveled down my neck I laid back, my eyes closed in
bliss. This wasn't the animal passion that forced that other man to
attack me, this was different - this was right. I welcomed his body to
mine, welcomed his kisses and fingers to do as they pleased. Welcomed
the first ray of love I had seen from anyone in my life except for my
mother.
@------
The snow fell around us, but it was no longer as threatening as I
had viewed it earlier. Now it was beautiful, laying on the ground and
trees. The sun made it glisten, the forest alive with the sparkling
jewels its tree branches now held. A few birds that had stayed to rough
out the winter flew overhead, their song seeming to be more gorgeous
than I ever thought it could be. The fire roared on, sending waves of
heat over our bodies. Not that I needed it all that much, I felt like I
could never be cold again.
Genjo held onto my body tightly, but he had grown quiet. I said
nothing, not wanting to break the spell that seemed to have been cast
over my mind. But I also couldn't help feeling that something was
wrong, something needed to be said. Slowly I turned in his arms,
sliding my fingers up his face gently and brushing a stray piece of
hair from his eyes. "What's wrong?"
I wondered if he would say. For a long moment, he didn't even
look at me. And when he finally did, I was shocked at the amount of
emotion I seen. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, pressing his lips to my
forehead.
"For what?" I asked, confused at the self-loathing I heard in his
voice.
He shook his head as if to rid it of a thought, and looked at me
again. "You're too young, we shouldn't have... no, I shouldn't have
just let that happen. I knew, but I thought I could stop myself
before..."
"Hey," I protested, putting a finger to his lips to stop him from
talking. "Don't say that, please don't." I felt a familiar sting of
tears behind my eyes, but I determinedly pushed them away. "I wanted
you to, or I would have tried to stop you. I..." I stopped short,
biting my lip. "Please don't say that you regret it," I finally said.
"I won't be able to live with myself if you say it was a mistake."
Whatever he saw in my eyes must have convinced him I was telling
the truth. He buried his face in my hair, planting a kiss there. "No,
not a mistake if you don't think it was. I just thought I could better
control myself, and I was wrong. I'm mad at myself, not you."
Propping myself up on my elbow, I smiled at him. "Don't be mad,
there's nothing to be mad about."
He shook his head like he didn't believe me, and brought my hand
to his lips. I stared into his brown eyes, never wanting this moment to
end. The memory of his kiss, of his fingers, would be forever engraved
in my mind. His eyes captured my heart and I gave it willingly. So
young and naive I was laying there wrapped in his arms, so very foolish
to surrender to my feelings.
@------
Finally convinced that I wasn't going to freeze to death anytime
soon, Genjo loaded our belongings into the saddlebags and we started
out for the capital again. My foot still ached when I stepped on it, so
that Genjo had to literally lift me up on the horse. He rode behind me,
one arm continuously grasping my waist like he believed I would
disappear if he didn't.
We came into the capital city, Herron, at dusk. My body ached
from riding all day, and my foot was stinging with pain. We were only
at the outskirts of town, but I could see the large palace in the hills
beyond. "How far do you suppose it is to the Palace?" I asked Genjo,
trying to come off as just curious, since I hadn't told him the reason
I was headed to the capital yet.
He shrugged his shoulders, gazing into hills as well. "I don't
know, a half a day of riding, perhaps." We pulled up to an Inn and
Genjo tied the horse up. "Keep your cloak on, so that we don't cause
anymore scenes like those yesterday," he advised softly, helping me off
the horse. As soon as I put weight on my foot the pain shot through it.
Balancing me, he bit his bottom lip in thought.
"I can try to walk it," I mumbled, but he waved his hand like the
suggestion was ridiculous.
Suddenly he lifted me up in his arms, causing me to squeal in
surprise at the unexpected action. "Just let me do the talking, okay?"
I nodded and he carried me inside. The man behind the counter looked up
from his paper work, blinked as if to make sure he was seeing right,
and stared as Genjo walked over to the counter holding me. "Do you have
any rooms available?" he asked as if it were quite common for men to go
around carrying women. I felt the heat rise to my face.
"Erm..." he mumbled, still staring at me. "I do." He paused as if
considering whether to ask something or not. Finally he decided. "Sir,
is she alright?"
Genjo nodded his head. "She's twisted her foot and hurt it," he
explained easily.
The man looked from him, to me for such a long moment that I
thought he might have seen my hair, even though I had a cloak over my
head. Finally he cleared his throat. "Your wife?" he asked.
"Yes," Genjo answered without hesitation. "I'm sorry, we've been
traveling all day. You said you had a room available?"
The man looked startled, like he had just remembered he was
running an Inn, and nodded. He wrote something down and found a key.
"Up the stairs, last door on the right."
Genjo told him he would pay him when he came back down for our
stuff and thanked him. When he made it to the second story landing, I
broke into soft giggles. "What an easy liar you are," I accused him.
He fit the key in the door and opened it. The room looked much
like the first one we had stayed in, only a bit smaller. Genjo laid me
on the bed, pressing his lips to my nose quickly. "But I would never
lie to you," he whispered and went back downstairs. I smiled to myself
as he shut the door.
In no time at all I heard him coming back in the door. He put our
bags down on the bed and I pulled out my gown and a brush. Somehow I
managed to hobble into the bathroom and change clothes without too much
pain. I came back, sat on the bed and began brushing my hair out. Still
Genjo said nothing, just watched me intently. I couldn't help but go
over and over in my mind what he said. His wife, he had told the man
downstairs. I couldn't help a blush staining my face at the thought.
Genjo's wife. I stared at myself in the mirror over the dresser, my
hand still automatically brushing my hair. How stupid of me to even
think such a thing! I scolded myself. I couldn't become involved with
him! The realization that all my thoughts had been leading me to was a
fantasy made my heart hurt. My mother; I had promised her I would find
my father, reveal who I was. I couldn't break that promise to her now,
not when I've come this far.
My face must have shown my feelings better than I thought,
because Genjo walked up behind me, placing his hand on my shoulder.
"What's wrong? You look sad."
"I do?" I feigned ignorance, even as my heart throbbed painfully
in my chest. I swallowed down my tears, again raising the brush to my
hair and stroking it downwards until my emerald hair gleamed; still I
brushed. I had to say something; he was watching my every move.
"Genjo," I whispered, trying to keep my voice flat. "Thank you, for
bringing me to the capital," my voice nearly faltered at the end, but I
caught it. "But I'm afraid I have to make the rest of my journey alone
and..."
A strange glassy look came into his eyes and abruptly he took his
hand from my shoulder, the lack of warmth making my skin tingle. I
avoided his eyes, and the pain that flashed through them as he stepped
back. "And what?" he mumbled. "Now that you're here, that's it?"
It took all I had to not cry out. "Well, you said you would bring
me to the capital, and now we're here, so--" I never finished, and not
because I wasn't going to. He turned and went out the door, slamming it
behind him. I just sat, mouth open, at the place where he had been. In
a matter of seconds I had went from the happiest person in the world,
to the saddest.
I waited for hours for him to return so I could explain. But
explain what? I imagined him at this moment, cursing me under his
breath, believing I was only out for what I could get from him and
that's all. But that's not all! my mind screamed. You love him!
"So?" I replied to myself out loud, crawling under the covers. "I
can't do anything about it." Alone in the dark my mind wondered over
what I had to do, and how I would manage it without Genjo. Thinking
about him only made my eyes burn, and in the dead of night I gave into
those tears and cried myself to sleep.
Sometime later I awoke, my skin crawling with the feeling that I
wasn't alone. Blinking back sleep, I opened my eyes cautiously. Across
from the bed I could barely see a solute of a man sitting in one of the
wooden chairs. The moons light lit his eyes up, making them glow. For a
very short moment fear nailed me to the bed, but not for long. I knew
that form, that body, those eyes - I would never forget them so long as
I lived. "Genjo?" I whispered, my heart aching.
"Go back to sleep," he replied softly, nothing but his mouth
moving.
I started to do just what he said, and put off the inevitable
until the morning. But just knowing that he was sitting beside me kept
sleep at bay. After a few minutes I sat up, reaching for the light
switch beside me. The bulb cast a yellowish hue over our faces, making
the shadows on the wall beyond enormous. "Genjo, we need to talk," I
mumbled, my hands shaking.
"Yes, we do," he replied evenly. I swallowed hard, but he had a
head start on me. I imagined he had gone over this speech in his head a
thousand times, because he didn't hesitate once. "I know you've got a
past that I know nothing about," he began. He had no idea how right he
was about that. "And quite frankly, I don't want to know, if it means
we can't be together." I stared at him, open mouthed, as he stood and
began pacing the floor beside the bed. His dark eyes turned to me every
now and then as he spoke, pleading with me for understanding.
"This may be the craziest thing you've ever heard, but hear me
out. I left here tonight with no idea where I was going, or if I would
ever lay eyes on you again. But I didn't make it to the edge of town
before I turned around." He sat on the edge of the bed, reaching for my
hands, which I allowed him to grasp. "I can't get you out of my head,
Setsuna. Every time I close my eyes I see your face, your eyes. Every
woman I hear has your voice."
"Genjo, don't!" I insisted, trying to pull my hands from his. But
his grip was too strong, so much more than mine. "Don't say anymore, I
can't stand to hear it. Just leave, leave me before it's too late!"
"I can't," he whispered. "It is too late for me, Setsuna. I love
you. I want to marry you, spend the rest of my life with you,
regardless of what is in your past. Forget it, just for one day. And
then whatever it is you have to do, we will do together."
I looked away and closed my eyes, my heart pounding so hard that
I could feel it in my temples. Tears threatened to leak from my eyes
again, but I trapped them. What should I do? I asked myself over and
over again. He was asking me to marry him! I'm only fourteen years old,
parentless, with a mission to complete because of a promise to my
mother. What do I say?
And then, like a gentle breeze warming my face, I heard my
mother's voice. Like from a dream, her whispered words came to me as
guidance. "Never turn your back on true love, Setsuna. No matter what
the cost. Remember that."
Ten years old, I sat and stared at my mother's reflection in the
bedroom mirror. "But what about my father, Mama? Do you love him?"
"There are things about your father you will one day understand,
my precious," my mother told me, pausing to hold the brush she was
using on my hair to look into my eyes. "I will always love your father,
always. For true love isn't selfish." She acted as if she wanted to say
more, but caught herself and again pulled the brush through my hair.
But I wasn't thinking about that. No, I remember thinking how beautiful
she was then, as she recalled a love that she had many times told me
was bigger than life. How much I wanted to have that in my life, grasp
it and on to it forever.
I reopened my eyes, steady but silent tears trailing down my
face. Genjo was looking at me with an intense gaze of hope and I
smiled. I'm going to do what you said, Mama, I thought. I'm not going
to turn my back on love.
@------
Note: this is assuming to be a time thousands and thousands of years
ago. There are no laws stating the age of marriage.
@------
In a two-room cabin on the far edge of the capital city, I
recited the vows that would forever bind me to the man standing beside
me. The preacher and his wife smiled on as we sealed our words with a
kiss and then congratulated us. When we stepped back outside I gazed up
at the clear blue Heavens. Surely my mother was looking down at me now,
as happy as I was.
"What are you thinking about?" Genjo asked me as we rode back to
the Inn on horseback.
I leaned back into his arms, gazing at the sky once more. I
smiled softly, kissing his jaw. "My mother," I replied faintly. My eyes
took in the peaceful town as we passed through, staring in amazement at
the snow covered cottages and buildings. "She told me once how she
missed the snow. We lived so far south that it didn't get nearly cold
enough to snow."
"Hmm, I love the snow, it gives everything an untouched look," my
new husband replied, wrapping one arm around me. I nodded, wondering
how my life would be from now on. I had just married a man I knew less
than a week, knew nothing about - yet I felt like it was just right. We
had love - everything else would come in time. Love would be enough,
wouldn't it?
But it hadn't been for my mother and father. No matter how much
they loved each other, it hadn't mattered in the end. I felt a shiver
run up my spine. I was different, I insisted to myself. This is nothing
like my mother and father's relationship.
Genjo stopped the horse in front of the Inn and we dismounted. My
foot, while still achy at times, was much better this morning. I limped
slightly when I walked, but not so much that Genjo had to carry me.
Hand and hand we went upstairs to our room.
Genjo took his coat off, throwing it across the back of the couch
and sitting down on the bed. He seemed to know my thoughts were still
on my mother just by looking at me. "What did your mother die of?" he
asked softly.
I removed my own cloak, shaking my hair out to remove some of the
melted snowflakes that had found their way inside my hood. "She had a
brain tumor," I mumbled, the painful memory of watching my mother die
before my eyes still lingering in the back of my mind. I was afraid the
heartache would never completely go away. I climbed on the bed,
cuddling up in my husband's arms. "What about your mother?"
"My mom?" Genjo repeated, chuckling. "Ah yes, we'll have to go
see her soon. She'll have a fit when she finds out I've gotten married
and didn't come home for a huge wedding." His eyes were twinkling with
mischief as he dipped his head down to kiss my lips. "But let's not
talk about that right now, hm?" I giggled my agreement and nothing else
was said.
@------
I had done as Genjo had asked and not mentioned anything about
why I was in the capitol city on our wedding day. But I knew it
couldn't be put off forever. The next morning Genjo, looking very
happy, went to get us something for breakfast while I showered and
dressed. It never stopped amazing me, the position I found myself in
now. How very fast things change, I thought as I stared at the wedding
band on my finger. Just a couple of weeks ago I left home on a journey
that only promised sadness and despair, and now I was surely the
happiest person on Pluto.
But the prospect of telling Genjo about my past wasn't something
I was looking forward to. But it had to be done, and the sooner the
better. With my mind made up, I waited for him to return. He came in
barely ten minutes later, a bag in each hand. He sat them down on the
dresser, taking out a small loaf of bread and handing it to me. From
the other bag he pulled out two containers of drink.
"There you go," he said, grinning as he sat down next to me and
took a large bite of his bread. "Fresh out of the oven, the woman
said."
It was very good, I had to admit, and might have tasted better if
my mind hadn't been on other things. Slowly I took a drink of my juice
and set it back down on the floor at my feet. "Genjo, there some things
I need to get done today."
My husband sighed, as if he, like I, wished that with the words
of our vows we could forget everything unpleasant. But we both knew
that couldn't be. I intended to keep the promise I made to my mother,
no matter what.
It was hard, nearly the hardest thing I've done in my life. As I
explained the circumstances of my birth up to my mother's dying plea,
Genjo's expression didn't change. When I finished I silently wiped the
tears from my face with the back of my hand and waited.
"Well," he breathed. "That explains a lot."
"What?" I mumbled, puzzled. Obviously he knew something I didn't.
He smiled handsomely. "Not bad. I've just heard some rumors of a
girl with the royal hair color. Of course, I had my ideas it was you,
but..."
"Oh." So that's why everyone treated me strangely. There was so
little I knew about my past, my heritage. What other surprises lay
ahead? "So now what?"
Genjo's eyes lit up with surprise and he stood up, pulling his
cloak on. "There's only one thing to do. We're going to march right up
to the palace and see your father." He said that so simply. But if
there was anything I had learned in my short life, it was that nothing
was as easy as it sounded.
Ten minutes later we were on our way. I shielded my hair from
passers-by more self-conscience about the people of the town now more
than ever. I felt like everyone's eyes were on us, every whispered word
about me.
From the side road we traveled I could see the town square
bustling with activity despite the snow that fell around. I tried to
picture my mother growing up in this village, and wondered if her
parents - my grandparents - were still alive. It would be wonderful to
see them, even if I couldn't tell them who I was.
Long before I felt I was ready, the huge palace loomed ahead of
us. I began shaking, my heart pounding in apprehension. "Easy," Genjo
whispered in my ear, rubbing my arms. "You don't have to do this, you
know."
The idea, now that I was so close to the palace and so scared,
was appealing. Biting my lip, I glanced around. To our right was a tiny
cottage, not much bigger than the one I grew up in. Like a sign from
above, I watched a young girl playing in the snow with her mother and I
thought about how I would have liked to have done that with my mother.
But I couldn't, it was too late for that. With a new sense of
determination I shook my head. "No, Genjo, I have to do this."
"Okay," Genjo replied and hugged me around the waist. "Don't
worry, I'm with you. Everything will be okay." I nodded. Somehow I
didn't think it would be okay, but no matter what, I would go forward.
Ahead of us giant arches rose up into the sky and beyond those
grim gates was the palace. Swallowing forcefully I tried to fight the
urge to tell Genjo to turn around. We stopped near the gate where two
guards stood post and demounted the horse. I gripped my husband's hand
so tightly I'm sure his fingers were going numb, though he didn't
complain as we approached.
"Your business?" the guard to our left demanded.
I opened my mouth to speak, but couldn't form words. Genjo,
taking my silence as a sign of how nervous I was, answered instead. "We
need to see his Highness Setsutarou," he said in a steady voice.
"Is he expecting you?" the guard replied in a tone of voice that
indicated that he doubted we had an appointment.
I swallowed, finally, though didn't feel better for it. If Genjo
was anywhere as worried as I was, he didn't show it. "No, he is not."
Out of the corner of my eye I seen the opposite guard shake his
head and my stomach felt like I had swallowed a brick. If I had came
this far and didn't get to meet my father... From a part of me I didn't
know existed, I conjured up the courage to speak. With my free hand I
pulled the cloak from my head, revealing my waist length emerald hair.
Smugly I noted the surprise on both guard's face. "I believe he'd want
to see us."
Blinking, the guard finally regained his pose and nodded,
indicating we were to follow. I glanced at Genjo, who was smiling
widely, and we stepped forward.
Our footfalls echoed in the hallway we were lead down. I glanced
up, estimating the ceiling to be at least thirty feet high. Large oil
paintings lined the walls, displaying stern looking men and rather
unhappy looking women. I shivered, the feeling that not much happiness
lived in the echoes of this place making me worry more. I already knew
how horrible my grandfather was, who was to know if time hadn't made my
father the same way? Genjo must have felt the way my hands shook
because he reached over quickly and kissed my lips, squeezing my hand.
With a little more courage, I looked straight ahead to the room where
the guard had stopped. "Wait here," he commanded in a stiff voice and
disappeared into the room beyond.
I switched my weight from foot to foot nervously, chewing on my
bottom lip. The enormous hall intimidated me, even if it was the home
of my father. Voices in my head whispered I didn't belong here, to run.
But loyalty to my mother's wishes planted my feet firmly to the marble
floor. The guard emerged from the room and motioned us in. Again Genjo
squeezed my hand reassuringly and we entered.
The simple magnitude of what was beyond the giant wooden doors
took my breath away. To think that people lived like this, even took it
for granted, while others lived in poverty. Two floor to ceiling
windows over looked the most beautiful garden I had ever seen. Snow had
covered everything in a thin blanket, causing it to glimmer like
precious stones. Between the two a large marble fireplace rose up, a
crackling fire bathing the room in heat. The guard indicated we were to
sit on the velvet sofa to the right. I sat, feeling my body sink into
the cushions. A long table sat in front of us, as well as two chairs
that matched the sofa we were on. There were three large paintings on
various walls; two of a man that I could only assume was my father. I
could see certain resemblances in our features; I had his nose, chin
and hair color. The third picture was also of my father, but in it was
also a woman. She was pretty, with fair blonde hair that was nearly
white and startling green eyes. But it was hard to see her features
without noticing the look on her face of absolute misery. The painting
was done in this very room and the woman's eyes seem to be cast towards
the window, longingly. I shivered, looking to the door that the guard
had left through.
Aside from the sounds of the fire, there was complete silence. It
seemed to stretch on forever until abruptly being broken by a distinct
tapping that reminded me of wood being hit on a hard surface. Curiously
I stared at the double doors as the sound grew louder. The door finally
opened and the guard returned. "Stand," he commanded.
Genjo and I obeyed, my eyes staring into the doorway. Suddenly a
figure appeared. I blinked, surprised. The old man who came through the
door, while not my father, resembled the pictures on the wall enough
that instantly I knew who it was.
My grandfather.
King Chronos entered the room, his steely cold eyes riveted on
me. He walked with a cane, but it didn't take away from the aurora of
authority that seemed to surround him and made my stomach lurch. His
hair was thin and filled with gray that nearly over rode the presence
of any green. The age spots scattered around his neck were barely
visible from the deep bronze color of his skin. He seemed to be sizing
me up, barely flicking a glance at Genjo before sighing deeply. "Sit,"
he demanded, his voice deep and seemingly booming in the high ceilings
of the room. "I knew that you'd haunt me, child. Just as your mother
promised. I have known for fourteen years that one day you'd show up on
my doorstep."
My palms were sweating so badly that I longed to wipe them on my
skirt, but I didn't move. My grandfather's cold demeanor made my nerves
stand on end as we stared at each other. "So, what's your name girl?"
I swallowed, determined not to let my nervousness show through.
This man, no matter how old now, was the same that threw my mother out
into the streets with her newborn. I refused to loose face before him.
"Setsuna A--Meiou," I replied, nearly forgetting my married name.
"And you?" he turned his head, now glaring at my husband.
"Genjo Meiou," my husband replied in a loud clear voice that
showed no fear like that I felt. "I am Setsuna's husband," he added
proudly.
"Husband?" Chronos snorted as if the idea were absurd. "So you,
like your mother, whores around as well? Even got this one to marry
you?"
I felt anger boil in my views and redden my face, but I didn't
speak before Genjo had bolted up from his seat. "You have no right to
insult her like that!" he bellowed, his fist clinched as he stood up.
"Sit down fool," Chronos hissed, his cold eyes flashing. "I don't
need to hear your excuses of nobility. I heard them from my son when
your mother seduced him as she has no doubt done to you. Yes, like
mother like daughter. Only I rid my home of her mother before it was
too late, where it's already too late for you."
It took all the strength I had to hold Genjo to my side. I could
see his anger, but I knew if he attacked the King he'd be beheaded.
Chronos, however, seemed amused by my husband's loyalty to me. "So what
is it you want, Setsuna?" he asked lowly, spitting my name like it was
a bitter taste in his mouth. "How much money will it take to rid you
from my troubles?"
"Money?" I replied, confused. "I don't want your filthy money," I
continued in a voice of one insulted. Hotly, I leaned forward. "I want
to meet my father. I promised my mother on her deathbed I would and
that's what I intend to do!"
To my complete surprise and bewilderment, my grandfather chuckled
lightly at my words, twisting his cane between his hands idly. "What
spirit you have, I recognize it." He stared, considering me a moment.
"You have you mother's spirit, girl. Yes..." his voice trailed off,
hiding something that for a second sounded strange to my ears. What was
it? Admiration? Or, even love? Surely not, I told myself quickly. He
sighed, glancing up at the portrait of my father and the young girl.
Pointing with his cane, he spoke: "My daughter-in-law," he said as if I
had asked who it was. "My son loved her like no other since... well,
since your mother. But she didn't want to marry him. So, I forced her
to," he said like he was talking of breeding animals.
I stared at him in horror. "You can't force someone to feel what
they don't," I said without thinking, now understanding why the girl
looked so unhappy.
"I suppose you're right," Chronos mumbled, looking away from the
picture. "She killed herself last year in this very room we sit in." I
gasped, not only for the story, but also because of the light tone he
used when saying it. "I imagine," he continued, breaking my thoughts.
"That you maybe just what my son needs to get his mind off other
things."
And that's the way he said it, like an order he had placed for
someone to cheer up my father.
@------
There was to be a ball the next evening for my father's thirty-
fourth birthday. Chronos had given us an invitation. He gave strict
instructions for us to explain ourselves as cousins that were visiting
and not to give more explanation than that. Nervously I now stood in
front of the mirror, snapping gold ball earrings into my ears. I had
pulled my hair up into a twist, allowing spiral curls to fall loosely
around my face.
We had been given clothes to wear for the occasion. And although
I wasn't too happy about meeting my father for the first time in a
crowded room, I had to admit I was slightly excited. I wore a dress of
deep red, nearly black, that fell to the floor and clung to my body.
The top had thin straps holding it up and the front dipped down to
barely show a shadow of my cleavage. I wore only my wedding band,
earrings and the necklace Genjo had given me for jewelry.
I emerged from the bathroom just as Genjo was fighting with his
bow tie. I giggled as he cursed under his breath, causing him to turn
to look at me. "How in the he--" He stopped, his mouth opening and
closing like a fish out of water, staring. "W-wow," he breathed, tie
forgotten. I blinked, honestly confused about what he was staring at.
Never in a million years did I think I could cause such a reaction.
"You look.... beautiful," my husband mumbled, coming towards me.
Gently, like a caressing wind, he wrapped his arms around my waist.
I felt a blush heat my face and neck as he gasped at me
appreciatively. "Thank you," I replied just as shocked with his
reaction as he seemed to be with me. He pressed his lips to mine
briefly, as if afraid he'd ruin me if he held on too long or too tight.
I helped him with his tie and we grabbed our cloaks. Even I had
to admit he was easily the most handsome man I had ever seen, decked
out in a tuxedo that he seemed slightly uncomfortable in. Chronos had
sent a carriage for us and it stood waiting as we came downstairs.
The elderly gentleman behind the counter stared, open mouth, as
we descended. I laughed softly at his expression as Genjo bid him
goodnight and we left. The carriage was a simple one, two horses and a
man steering them, but it was exciting for me, because I had never been
in one. As we started for the palace, I watched as the people stopped
what they were doing to watch us go by.
As the palace once more came into view, I felt the familiar sense
of nerves wash over me and I fought to keep my hands steady. We pulled
up to the front of the palace and stopped in front of a set of long
stairs that lead up to the doorway. Genjo exited the carriage first and
held his hand up to help me. I couldn't help but stare once I was out
of the carriage. There were at least forty steps that lead up to two
enormous glass doors that were wide open. Beyond them the sound of
people laughing and music drifted to my ears. With a deep breath to
calm myself I took Genjo's arm and started up the steps.
Almost as if he'd been waiting for us, Chronos was standing on
the other side of the great doors. I couldn't hide my surprise at
seeing him, however. The perfect host, King Chronos was laughing loudly
with a group of men surrounding him. Now it was hard to tell how mean
and terrible he could be. He spotted us behind the crowd and excused
himself. "Genjo," he greeted just loud enough to satisfy on-lookers and
shook my husband's hand. He glanced at me, taking my hand and kissing
it lightly. "You look beautiful Mrs. Meiou." Once the group of men he
was taking to had split up, his voice changed to that one I easily
recognized. "Just remember what I said," he warned and then waved to
someone behind us and walked off.
"Hmph," my husband mumbled as we started away. "We could scream
out the truth for all in this room to know if we choose to," he
mumbled, casting a glance back at my grandfather with an evil gleam in
his eye.
"We don't want to do that," I told him just as quietly. "We'd
only get ourselves into trouble. There are guards swarming around this
place like angry bees." We walked towards the refreshment table, gazing
at the beautiful decorations. There were several ice sculptures of
beautiful birds, fountains and flowers like none I had ever seen in my
life. It was hard to believe that people had so much money that they
displayed it so elaborately. The cost of just one table of food could
easily feed a family for a year.
Genjo glanced at the large dance floor and suddenly took my hand.
"Could I tempt my beautiful wife to dance?"
I laughed as he twirled me around and then held me close as we
began to dance. Memories flooded my mind as we glided across the room.
Teaching myself to dance with a book, dreaming of a handsome man that
came to partner me. My beautiful mother laughing in my bedroom doorway
and then coming to dance with me until we fell onto the bed...
laughing...
Suddenly my memory was disturbed by Genjo kissing my lips softly.
It wasn't a dream--the handsome man of my dreams was here...
"What are you thinking about?" he asked softly.
"Nothing," I mumbled, my eye catching a man walking down the
giant set of marble stairs in the back of the room. He was tall enough
that I could see him even though he'd reached the bottom and my breath
caught as I realized whom this must me. "Genjo," I whispered, nodding
my head towards the stairs. "There he is; my father."
--End Chapter 2.
There's better author's notes at the bottom of the last chapter, since
I really should be in bed rather than posting this. ^^
3 Bethany
12-18-02
Beyond the Staff
Chapter 2 - Love at Last
By: Bethany
Editor: Meara
Rated: PG
@~~~~~~
Nearly an hour later Genjo pulled off the main road we had been
on and onto a side path through the forest. We stopped by a small
stream and dismounted the horse. I stared up at the night sky, the
stars twinkling back at me kindly. There was a bit of a breeze, but it
was warm and soothing to my troubled soul.
Genjo began setting up a camp, and gathering firewood, all the
time saying nothing. I tried not to think about the way we had been out
cast in the last town we had been in, but it would stay on my mind for
hours. Genjo caught some fish in the stream and cooked them over an
open fire for our dinner. I ate little and then, claiming I was tired,
climbed inside a sleeping bag.
I awoke suddenly, sometime later. The large fire that we once had
was gone, only smoldering ashes left. I blinked sleepily, looking
around. The horse was tethered up to a nearby tree, but otherwise I was
alone. Frightened, I sat up, looking for Genjo.
The forest seemed to be alive with sounds and shadows playing in
the moonlight. My eyes darted around, listening to an owl hooting,
sometimes joined by crickets singing. Other noises also greeted my
eager ears; the sounds of twigs breaking and the ground being crushed
by weight. I tried to ignore the feeling of fear that made my heart
pound and my palms sweat, but there was no denying it. Unsurely I stood
up, listening. "Genjo?" I whispered, craning my neck so that perhaps I
could hear more.
Nothing but the hoot of an owl replied to my call. Frowning, I
stepped away from the camp and towards the river, rationalizing that
perhaps Genjo had gone for some water. I rubbed my arms with my hands
to warm them as I walked, my every breath seemed louder, echoing in the
vast forest around me. The tree limbs moving in the moonlight played
tricks with my mind, whispering that someone or something was watching
me, waiting to attack. I ran forward, stumbling over a tree root and
falling flat on my face. I moaned, rolling over to my back. The stars
above twinkled madly, mocking me. Stupid, foolish girl! they cried.
Dragging others down with you!
Slowly I tried to get to my feet again, but the second I put
weight on my foot, it shrieked with pain. I let out a small yelp,
falling to my knees. I looked around me, but the fall had made me loose
my bearings. Everywhere I looked seemed the same, which way had I come
from? Which way was camp, or the river?
I considered calling for Genjo, but that would be stupid. I
hadn't wondered that far from the camp, surely if I could just get
myself up I could see the paths clearer. I found a large stick and
placed my weight on my good foot so that I could walk. Convincing
myself that the way I had decided on was the correct one, I wobbled
along in pain.
But after several minutes still I didn't find camp, or the river.
The silence seemed to be deafening now, the crickets had suddenly
stopped their mournful song and even the sound of the owl was distant.
And to beat it all, my eyes were playing tricks on my mind. Everywhere
around me, I saw things moving, imagining someone there. My heart
pounded so hard in my chest it reminded me more of a drum. Scared out
of my mind, my knees buckled under me and I sank to the floor of the
forest, the stick I held my only defense.
For hours I fought sleep, determined to stay awake so that I
could see what was happening around me. But my eyes became heavier and
heavier until they began closing on their own. I forced them open,
blinking several times, but they closed again until finally I didn't
have the strength to open them anymore.
@-------
"Setsuna! Setsuna!!"
Groggily I lifted my head. Dried leaves were stuck to the side of
my face and crackled when I sat up. The morning sun was beating down
through the trees, and it didn't look nearly as scary has it had the
night before. Several feet from me a small rodent scurried up a tree,
stopping to look at me curiously before continuing up. In my hands I
still clutched the large tree limb tightly, so much that my palms were
beginning to bleed. Placing my weight on it, I tried to stand up. As
soon as I did the pain stabbed through my foot again.
"Setsuna!!"
I blinked, looking around. The forest was alive with small
animals and birds finding their breakfast. I saw no sign of Genjo. Had
I just imagined his voice calling? I waited, but when I heard nothing,
I assumed it was. Just as I was about to try and walk again, I heard my
name shouted, clearer now than before. It was Genjo. My heart leapt in
my chest and with all my might I screamed: "GENJO! OVER HERE!"
"Setsuna?!" he yelled back. Behind me I heard the crunch of
leaves as he moved towards me. As he came around a large tree, seen me,
and broke into a run. "Setsuna?" he whispered when he came upon me
sitting on the ground. "Are you okay?" I nodded, but couldn't speak. He
was here, saving me. It wasn't a dream, it wasn't, I told myself.
He bent down next to me, placing his hand on my face. "You're
freezing!" Quickly he took off his heavy cloak and wrapped it around my
shoulders. "I've been worried sick," he told me, rubbing my hands
between his to warm them up. "I was searching the area to be sure there
were no one about, and when I came back you were gone. I've been
looking for you since. I don't know how you got this far from camp in
such a short time."
I said nothing, just silently watched as he rubbed my other hand
until I could feel it tingling. He breathed onto my hands as he rubbed
and I saw his breath in the air. Was it really that cold? My body was
so numb I barely felt it anymore.
"I've got to get you warmed up," he said, more to himself than to
me. "Can you walk?"
I nodded yes, but when I put my weight on my foot it went out from
under me almost instantly. I yelped with pain and would have hit
the ground again if Genjo hadn't caught me. With little effort at all
he scooped me into his arms and took off for the camp.
He built a roaring fire, the flames rising higher and higher as
he added more wood. He wrapped me in my sleeping bag, but still I
shivered. If anything, I felt colder now than I had before. My lips
trembled, no matter how hard I tried to stop them and my entire body
shook. I stared up at the sky, seeing small snowflakes beginning to
come down.
Genjo returned to the camp, placed another log on the fire and
came to check me. His eyes looked so worried that I could have cried.
Why was he so worried about me? I was no one to him, a stupid girl that
he happened across the path of. But I could say none of this, only
continue to tremble.
To my utter shock, Genjo suddenly took his shirt off. I stared
silently as he came over to the sleeping bag I laid in and unzipped it.
"I've got to get you warm," he explained, lying down beside me. I just
stared as he zipped it back up and then wrapped his arms around me.
"Just get as close to me as you can, okay? My body heat will help you
warm up."
I could say or do nothing but what he asked. Within seconds I was
pressed against his broad chest, listening to his heart pounding within
his chest. I shivered for a few minutes more, but his body did seem to
be helping. The shaking in my bones seemed to come further and further
apart and the heat of my breath up against his chest warmed my face. I
felt sleepy, but every time I closed my eyes he would tell me not to.
"Don't go to sleep now," he whispered in my ear. "I need to be sure
you're okay before you can sleep, or..." but he left off, suddenly
squeezing me firmly to his body. I felt his muscles tighten, almost
clamping down on me.
Pulling my arm up, I ran my cold fingers down his cheek.
"Why..?" I whispered, my voice cracking and my throat dry. "Why?"
His brown eyes stared down at me with a look of puzzlement. He
grabbed my fingers, holding them within his own. "Why what?" he
mumbled, still staring intently in my eyes.
"Why do you care... why me?" My throat was so dry I could barely
push the words out of my mouth. I tried to lick my lips, but it didn't
help any.
He smiled as if he was recalling a time only he could remember,
and from the way his eyes lit up, it was a beautiful memory. He brought
his face closer to mine, still grasping my hand in his larger one while
his other arm held me tight to his body. "The first night I saw you,
something about your eyes caught me. Such a beautiful, strange color.
They held so much wisdom, longing, and pain. Hauntingly beautiful eyes
that I saw whenever I closed my own." He blinked, his nose nearly
touching mine his face was so close. "I couldn't stop thinking about
you, so I went to find you. And then I saw... I just wanted to kill
him, rip him limb from limb. And you looked at me, so scared, yet so
hopeful. Like you're looking at me now." And before I had time to think
about what he was doing, I felt his lips pressed against mine.
I had never been kissed before, but it was more than I could have
ever imagined or read about. He let go of my hand, cupping my cheek in
his palm instead so he could tilt my head back. I felt him slide his
tongue into my mouth and I gasped with the feeling of someone touching
me that way. So tender his hands were as they rubbed my back. I felt
like I was easing into a warm bath, my body became warmer and my mind
peaceful, yet excited at the same time. I didn't have to think about
how to respond, my body had a will of it's own and my arms encircled
his neck.
Time seemed to speed up, yet stand still. I heard nothing but our
breathing, felt nothing but his body covering mine and his lips on my
own. His hands roamed to parts of my body untouched by another, sending
waves of shock and tingling through my body down to my toes. When his
lips left mine and traveled down my neck I laid back, my eyes closed in
bliss. This wasn't the animal passion that forced that other man to
attack me, this was different - this was right. I welcomed his body to
mine, welcomed his kisses and fingers to do as they pleased. Welcomed
the first ray of love I had seen from anyone in my life except for my
mother.
@------
The snow fell around us, but it was no longer as threatening as I
had viewed it earlier. Now it was beautiful, laying on the ground and
trees. The sun made it glisten, the forest alive with the sparkling
jewels its tree branches now held. A few birds that had stayed to rough
out the winter flew overhead, their song seeming to be more gorgeous
than I ever thought it could be. The fire roared on, sending waves of
heat over our bodies. Not that I needed it all that much, I felt like I
could never be cold again.
Genjo held onto my body tightly, but he had grown quiet. I said
nothing, not wanting to break the spell that seemed to have been cast
over my mind. But I also couldn't help feeling that something was
wrong, something needed to be said. Slowly I turned in his arms,
sliding my fingers up his face gently and brushing a stray piece of
hair from his eyes. "What's wrong?"
I wondered if he would say. For a long moment, he didn't even
look at me. And when he finally did, I was shocked at the amount of
emotion I seen. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, pressing his lips to my
forehead.
"For what?" I asked, confused at the self-loathing I heard in his
voice.
He shook his head as if to rid it of a thought, and looked at me
again. "You're too young, we shouldn't have... no, I shouldn't have
just let that happen. I knew, but I thought I could stop myself
before..."
"Hey," I protested, putting a finger to his lips to stop him from
talking. "Don't say that, please don't." I felt a familiar sting of
tears behind my eyes, but I determinedly pushed them away. "I wanted
you to, or I would have tried to stop you. I..." I stopped short,
biting my lip. "Please don't say that you regret it," I finally said.
"I won't be able to live with myself if you say it was a mistake."
Whatever he saw in my eyes must have convinced him I was telling
the truth. He buried his face in my hair, planting a kiss there. "No,
not a mistake if you don't think it was. I just thought I could better
control myself, and I was wrong. I'm mad at myself, not you."
Propping myself up on my elbow, I smiled at him. "Don't be mad,
there's nothing to be mad about."
He shook his head like he didn't believe me, and brought my hand
to his lips. I stared into his brown eyes, never wanting this moment to
end. The memory of his kiss, of his fingers, would be forever engraved
in my mind. His eyes captured my heart and I gave it willingly. So
young and naive I was laying there wrapped in his arms, so very foolish
to surrender to my feelings.
@------
Finally convinced that I wasn't going to freeze to death anytime
soon, Genjo loaded our belongings into the saddlebags and we started
out for the capital again. My foot still ached when I stepped on it, so
that Genjo had to literally lift me up on the horse. He rode behind me,
one arm continuously grasping my waist like he believed I would
disappear if he didn't.
We came into the capital city, Herron, at dusk. My body ached
from riding all day, and my foot was stinging with pain. We were only
at the outskirts of town, but I could see the large palace in the hills
beyond. "How far do you suppose it is to the Palace?" I asked Genjo,
trying to come off as just curious, since I hadn't told him the reason
I was headed to the capital yet.
He shrugged his shoulders, gazing into hills as well. "I don't
know, a half a day of riding, perhaps." We pulled up to an Inn and
Genjo tied the horse up. "Keep your cloak on, so that we don't cause
anymore scenes like those yesterday," he advised softly, helping me off
the horse. As soon as I put weight on my foot the pain shot through it.
Balancing me, he bit his bottom lip in thought.
"I can try to walk it," I mumbled, but he waved his hand like the
suggestion was ridiculous.
Suddenly he lifted me up in his arms, causing me to squeal in
surprise at the unexpected action. "Just let me do the talking, okay?"
I nodded and he carried me inside. The man behind the counter looked up
from his paper work, blinked as if to make sure he was seeing right,
and stared as Genjo walked over to the counter holding me. "Do you have
any rooms available?" he asked as if it were quite common for men to go
around carrying women. I felt the heat rise to my face.
"Erm..." he mumbled, still staring at me. "I do." He paused as if
considering whether to ask something or not. Finally he decided. "Sir,
is she alright?"
Genjo nodded his head. "She's twisted her foot and hurt it," he
explained easily.
The man looked from him, to me for such a long moment that I
thought he might have seen my hair, even though I had a cloak over my
head. Finally he cleared his throat. "Your wife?" he asked.
"Yes," Genjo answered without hesitation. "I'm sorry, we've been
traveling all day. You said you had a room available?"
The man looked startled, like he had just remembered he was
running an Inn, and nodded. He wrote something down and found a key.
"Up the stairs, last door on the right."
Genjo told him he would pay him when he came back down for our
stuff and thanked him. When he made it to the second story landing, I
broke into soft giggles. "What an easy liar you are," I accused him.
He fit the key in the door and opened it. The room looked much
like the first one we had stayed in, only a bit smaller. Genjo laid me
on the bed, pressing his lips to my nose quickly. "But I would never
lie to you," he whispered and went back downstairs. I smiled to myself
as he shut the door.
In no time at all I heard him coming back in the door. He put our
bags down on the bed and I pulled out my gown and a brush. Somehow I
managed to hobble into the bathroom and change clothes without too much
pain. I came back, sat on the bed and began brushing my hair out. Still
Genjo said nothing, just watched me intently. I couldn't help but go
over and over in my mind what he said. His wife, he had told the man
downstairs. I couldn't help a blush staining my face at the thought.
Genjo's wife. I stared at myself in the mirror over the dresser, my
hand still automatically brushing my hair. How stupid of me to even
think such a thing! I scolded myself. I couldn't become involved with
him! The realization that all my thoughts had been leading me to was a
fantasy made my heart hurt. My mother; I had promised her I would find
my father, reveal who I was. I couldn't break that promise to her now,
not when I've come this far.
My face must have shown my feelings better than I thought,
because Genjo walked up behind me, placing his hand on my shoulder.
"What's wrong? You look sad."
"I do?" I feigned ignorance, even as my heart throbbed painfully
in my chest. I swallowed down my tears, again raising the brush to my
hair and stroking it downwards until my emerald hair gleamed; still I
brushed. I had to say something; he was watching my every move.
"Genjo," I whispered, trying to keep my voice flat. "Thank you, for
bringing me to the capital," my voice nearly faltered at the end, but I
caught it. "But I'm afraid I have to make the rest of my journey alone
and..."
A strange glassy look came into his eyes and abruptly he took his
hand from my shoulder, the lack of warmth making my skin tingle. I
avoided his eyes, and the pain that flashed through them as he stepped
back. "And what?" he mumbled. "Now that you're here, that's it?"
It took all I had to not cry out. "Well, you said you would bring
me to the capital, and now we're here, so--" I never finished, and not
because I wasn't going to. He turned and went out the door, slamming it
behind him. I just sat, mouth open, at the place where he had been. In
a matter of seconds I had went from the happiest person in the world,
to the saddest.
I waited for hours for him to return so I could explain. But
explain what? I imagined him at this moment, cursing me under his
breath, believing I was only out for what I could get from him and
that's all. But that's not all! my mind screamed. You love him!
"So?" I replied to myself out loud, crawling under the covers. "I
can't do anything about it." Alone in the dark my mind wondered over
what I had to do, and how I would manage it without Genjo. Thinking
about him only made my eyes burn, and in the dead of night I gave into
those tears and cried myself to sleep.
Sometime later I awoke, my skin crawling with the feeling that I
wasn't alone. Blinking back sleep, I opened my eyes cautiously. Across
from the bed I could barely see a solute of a man sitting in one of the
wooden chairs. The moons light lit his eyes up, making them glow. For a
very short moment fear nailed me to the bed, but not for long. I knew
that form, that body, those eyes - I would never forget them so long as
I lived. "Genjo?" I whispered, my heart aching.
"Go back to sleep," he replied softly, nothing but his mouth
moving.
I started to do just what he said, and put off the inevitable
until the morning. But just knowing that he was sitting beside me kept
sleep at bay. After a few minutes I sat up, reaching for the light
switch beside me. The bulb cast a yellowish hue over our faces, making
the shadows on the wall beyond enormous. "Genjo, we need to talk," I
mumbled, my hands shaking.
"Yes, we do," he replied evenly. I swallowed hard, but he had a
head start on me. I imagined he had gone over this speech in his head a
thousand times, because he didn't hesitate once. "I know you've got a
past that I know nothing about," he began. He had no idea how right he
was about that. "And quite frankly, I don't want to know, if it means
we can't be together." I stared at him, open mouthed, as he stood and
began pacing the floor beside the bed. His dark eyes turned to me every
now and then as he spoke, pleading with me for understanding.
"This may be the craziest thing you've ever heard, but hear me
out. I left here tonight with no idea where I was going, or if I would
ever lay eyes on you again. But I didn't make it to the edge of town
before I turned around." He sat on the edge of the bed, reaching for my
hands, which I allowed him to grasp. "I can't get you out of my head,
Setsuna. Every time I close my eyes I see your face, your eyes. Every
woman I hear has your voice."
"Genjo, don't!" I insisted, trying to pull my hands from his. But
his grip was too strong, so much more than mine. "Don't say anymore, I
can't stand to hear it. Just leave, leave me before it's too late!"
"I can't," he whispered. "It is too late for me, Setsuna. I love
you. I want to marry you, spend the rest of my life with you,
regardless of what is in your past. Forget it, just for one day. And
then whatever it is you have to do, we will do together."
I looked away and closed my eyes, my heart pounding so hard that
I could feel it in my temples. Tears threatened to leak from my eyes
again, but I trapped them. What should I do? I asked myself over and
over again. He was asking me to marry him! I'm only fourteen years old,
parentless, with a mission to complete because of a promise to my
mother. What do I say?
And then, like a gentle breeze warming my face, I heard my
mother's voice. Like from a dream, her whispered words came to me as
guidance. "Never turn your back on true love, Setsuna. No matter what
the cost. Remember that."
Ten years old, I sat and stared at my mother's reflection in the
bedroom mirror. "But what about my father, Mama? Do you love him?"
"There are things about your father you will one day understand,
my precious," my mother told me, pausing to hold the brush she was
using on my hair to look into my eyes. "I will always love your father,
always. For true love isn't selfish." She acted as if she wanted to say
more, but caught herself and again pulled the brush through my hair.
But I wasn't thinking about that. No, I remember thinking how beautiful
she was then, as she recalled a love that she had many times told me
was bigger than life. How much I wanted to have that in my life, grasp
it and on to it forever.
I reopened my eyes, steady but silent tears trailing down my
face. Genjo was looking at me with an intense gaze of hope and I
smiled. I'm going to do what you said, Mama, I thought. I'm not going
to turn my back on love.
@------
Note: this is assuming to be a time thousands and thousands of years
ago. There are no laws stating the age of marriage.
@------
In a two-room cabin on the far edge of the capital city, I
recited the vows that would forever bind me to the man standing beside
me. The preacher and his wife smiled on as we sealed our words with a
kiss and then congratulated us. When we stepped back outside I gazed up
at the clear blue Heavens. Surely my mother was looking down at me now,
as happy as I was.
"What are you thinking about?" Genjo asked me as we rode back to
the Inn on horseback.
I leaned back into his arms, gazing at the sky once more. I
smiled softly, kissing his jaw. "My mother," I replied faintly. My eyes
took in the peaceful town as we passed through, staring in amazement at
the snow covered cottages and buildings. "She told me once how she
missed the snow. We lived so far south that it didn't get nearly cold
enough to snow."
"Hmm, I love the snow, it gives everything an untouched look," my
new husband replied, wrapping one arm around me. I nodded, wondering
how my life would be from now on. I had just married a man I knew less
than a week, knew nothing about - yet I felt like it was just right. We
had love - everything else would come in time. Love would be enough,
wouldn't it?
But it hadn't been for my mother and father. No matter how much
they loved each other, it hadn't mattered in the end. I felt a shiver
run up my spine. I was different, I insisted to myself. This is nothing
like my mother and father's relationship.
Genjo stopped the horse in front of the Inn and we dismounted. My
foot, while still achy at times, was much better this morning. I limped
slightly when I walked, but not so much that Genjo had to carry me.
Hand and hand we went upstairs to our room.
Genjo took his coat off, throwing it across the back of the couch
and sitting down on the bed. He seemed to know my thoughts were still
on my mother just by looking at me. "What did your mother die of?" he
asked softly.
I removed my own cloak, shaking my hair out to remove some of the
melted snowflakes that had found their way inside my hood. "She had a
brain tumor," I mumbled, the painful memory of watching my mother die
before my eyes still lingering in the back of my mind. I was afraid the
heartache would never completely go away. I climbed on the bed,
cuddling up in my husband's arms. "What about your mother?"
"My mom?" Genjo repeated, chuckling. "Ah yes, we'll have to go
see her soon. She'll have a fit when she finds out I've gotten married
and didn't come home for a huge wedding." His eyes were twinkling with
mischief as he dipped his head down to kiss my lips. "But let's not
talk about that right now, hm?" I giggled my agreement and nothing else
was said.
@------
I had done as Genjo had asked and not mentioned anything about
why I was in the capitol city on our wedding day. But I knew it
couldn't be put off forever. The next morning Genjo, looking very
happy, went to get us something for breakfast while I showered and
dressed. It never stopped amazing me, the position I found myself in
now. How very fast things change, I thought as I stared at the wedding
band on my finger. Just a couple of weeks ago I left home on a journey
that only promised sadness and despair, and now I was surely the
happiest person on Pluto.
But the prospect of telling Genjo about my past wasn't something
I was looking forward to. But it had to be done, and the sooner the
better. With my mind made up, I waited for him to return. He came in
barely ten minutes later, a bag in each hand. He sat them down on the
dresser, taking out a small loaf of bread and handing it to me. From
the other bag he pulled out two containers of drink.
"There you go," he said, grinning as he sat down next to me and
took a large bite of his bread. "Fresh out of the oven, the woman
said."
It was very good, I had to admit, and might have tasted better if
my mind hadn't been on other things. Slowly I took a drink of my juice
and set it back down on the floor at my feet. "Genjo, there some things
I need to get done today."
My husband sighed, as if he, like I, wished that with the words
of our vows we could forget everything unpleasant. But we both knew
that couldn't be. I intended to keep the promise I made to my mother,
no matter what.
It was hard, nearly the hardest thing I've done in my life. As I
explained the circumstances of my birth up to my mother's dying plea,
Genjo's expression didn't change. When I finished I silently wiped the
tears from my face with the back of my hand and waited.
"Well," he breathed. "That explains a lot."
"What?" I mumbled, puzzled. Obviously he knew something I didn't.
He smiled handsomely. "Not bad. I've just heard some rumors of a
girl with the royal hair color. Of course, I had my ideas it was you,
but..."
"Oh." So that's why everyone treated me strangely. There was so
little I knew about my past, my heritage. What other surprises lay
ahead? "So now what?"
Genjo's eyes lit up with surprise and he stood up, pulling his
cloak on. "There's only one thing to do. We're going to march right up
to the palace and see your father." He said that so simply. But if
there was anything I had learned in my short life, it was that nothing
was as easy as it sounded.
Ten minutes later we were on our way. I shielded my hair from
passers-by more self-conscience about the people of the town now more
than ever. I felt like everyone's eyes were on us, every whispered word
about me.
From the side road we traveled I could see the town square
bustling with activity despite the snow that fell around. I tried to
picture my mother growing up in this village, and wondered if her
parents - my grandparents - were still alive. It would be wonderful to
see them, even if I couldn't tell them who I was.
Long before I felt I was ready, the huge palace loomed ahead of
us. I began shaking, my heart pounding in apprehension. "Easy," Genjo
whispered in my ear, rubbing my arms. "You don't have to do this, you
know."
The idea, now that I was so close to the palace and so scared,
was appealing. Biting my lip, I glanced around. To our right was a tiny
cottage, not much bigger than the one I grew up in. Like a sign from
above, I watched a young girl playing in the snow with her mother and I
thought about how I would have liked to have done that with my mother.
But I couldn't, it was too late for that. With a new sense of
determination I shook my head. "No, Genjo, I have to do this."
"Okay," Genjo replied and hugged me around the waist. "Don't
worry, I'm with you. Everything will be okay." I nodded. Somehow I
didn't think it would be okay, but no matter what, I would go forward.
Ahead of us giant arches rose up into the sky and beyond those
grim gates was the palace. Swallowing forcefully I tried to fight the
urge to tell Genjo to turn around. We stopped near the gate where two
guards stood post and demounted the horse. I gripped my husband's hand
so tightly I'm sure his fingers were going numb, though he didn't
complain as we approached.
"Your business?" the guard to our left demanded.
I opened my mouth to speak, but couldn't form words. Genjo,
taking my silence as a sign of how nervous I was, answered instead. "We
need to see his Highness Setsutarou," he said in a steady voice.
"Is he expecting you?" the guard replied in a tone of voice that
indicated that he doubted we had an appointment.
I swallowed, finally, though didn't feel better for it. If Genjo
was anywhere as worried as I was, he didn't show it. "No, he is not."
Out of the corner of my eye I seen the opposite guard shake his
head and my stomach felt like I had swallowed a brick. If I had came
this far and didn't get to meet my father... From a part of me I didn't
know existed, I conjured up the courage to speak. With my free hand I
pulled the cloak from my head, revealing my waist length emerald hair.
Smugly I noted the surprise on both guard's face. "I believe he'd want
to see us."
Blinking, the guard finally regained his pose and nodded,
indicating we were to follow. I glanced at Genjo, who was smiling
widely, and we stepped forward.
Our footfalls echoed in the hallway we were lead down. I glanced
up, estimating the ceiling to be at least thirty feet high. Large oil
paintings lined the walls, displaying stern looking men and rather
unhappy looking women. I shivered, the feeling that not much happiness
lived in the echoes of this place making me worry more. I already knew
how horrible my grandfather was, who was to know if time hadn't made my
father the same way? Genjo must have felt the way my hands shook
because he reached over quickly and kissed my lips, squeezing my hand.
With a little more courage, I looked straight ahead to the room where
the guard had stopped. "Wait here," he commanded in a stiff voice and
disappeared into the room beyond.
I switched my weight from foot to foot nervously, chewing on my
bottom lip. The enormous hall intimidated me, even if it was the home
of my father. Voices in my head whispered I didn't belong here, to run.
But loyalty to my mother's wishes planted my feet firmly to the marble
floor. The guard emerged from the room and motioned us in. Again Genjo
squeezed my hand reassuringly and we entered.
The simple magnitude of what was beyond the giant wooden doors
took my breath away. To think that people lived like this, even took it
for granted, while others lived in poverty. Two floor to ceiling
windows over looked the most beautiful garden I had ever seen. Snow had
covered everything in a thin blanket, causing it to glimmer like
precious stones. Between the two a large marble fireplace rose up, a
crackling fire bathing the room in heat. The guard indicated we were to
sit on the velvet sofa to the right. I sat, feeling my body sink into
the cushions. A long table sat in front of us, as well as two chairs
that matched the sofa we were on. There were three large paintings on
various walls; two of a man that I could only assume was my father. I
could see certain resemblances in our features; I had his nose, chin
and hair color. The third picture was also of my father, but in it was
also a woman. She was pretty, with fair blonde hair that was nearly
white and startling green eyes. But it was hard to see her features
without noticing the look on her face of absolute misery. The painting
was done in this very room and the woman's eyes seem to be cast towards
the window, longingly. I shivered, looking to the door that the guard
had left through.
Aside from the sounds of the fire, there was complete silence. It
seemed to stretch on forever until abruptly being broken by a distinct
tapping that reminded me of wood being hit on a hard surface. Curiously
I stared at the double doors as the sound grew louder. The door finally
opened and the guard returned. "Stand," he commanded.
Genjo and I obeyed, my eyes staring into the doorway. Suddenly a
figure appeared. I blinked, surprised. The old man who came through the
door, while not my father, resembled the pictures on the wall enough
that instantly I knew who it was.
My grandfather.
King Chronos entered the room, his steely cold eyes riveted on
me. He walked with a cane, but it didn't take away from the aurora of
authority that seemed to surround him and made my stomach lurch. His
hair was thin and filled with gray that nearly over rode the presence
of any green. The age spots scattered around his neck were barely
visible from the deep bronze color of his skin. He seemed to be sizing
me up, barely flicking a glance at Genjo before sighing deeply. "Sit,"
he demanded, his voice deep and seemingly booming in the high ceilings
of the room. "I knew that you'd haunt me, child. Just as your mother
promised. I have known for fourteen years that one day you'd show up on
my doorstep."
My palms were sweating so badly that I longed to wipe them on my
skirt, but I didn't move. My grandfather's cold demeanor made my nerves
stand on end as we stared at each other. "So, what's your name girl?"
I swallowed, determined not to let my nervousness show through.
This man, no matter how old now, was the same that threw my mother out
into the streets with her newborn. I refused to loose face before him.
"Setsuna A--Meiou," I replied, nearly forgetting my married name.
"And you?" he turned his head, now glaring at my husband.
"Genjo Meiou," my husband replied in a loud clear voice that
showed no fear like that I felt. "I am Setsuna's husband," he added
proudly.
"Husband?" Chronos snorted as if the idea were absurd. "So you,
like your mother, whores around as well? Even got this one to marry
you?"
I felt anger boil in my views and redden my face, but I didn't
speak before Genjo had bolted up from his seat. "You have no right to
insult her like that!" he bellowed, his fist clinched as he stood up.
"Sit down fool," Chronos hissed, his cold eyes flashing. "I don't
need to hear your excuses of nobility. I heard them from my son when
your mother seduced him as she has no doubt done to you. Yes, like
mother like daughter. Only I rid my home of her mother before it was
too late, where it's already too late for you."
It took all the strength I had to hold Genjo to my side. I could
see his anger, but I knew if he attacked the King he'd be beheaded.
Chronos, however, seemed amused by my husband's loyalty to me. "So what
is it you want, Setsuna?" he asked lowly, spitting my name like it was
a bitter taste in his mouth. "How much money will it take to rid you
from my troubles?"
"Money?" I replied, confused. "I don't want your filthy money," I
continued in a voice of one insulted. Hotly, I leaned forward. "I want
to meet my father. I promised my mother on her deathbed I would and
that's what I intend to do!"
To my complete surprise and bewilderment, my grandfather chuckled
lightly at my words, twisting his cane between his hands idly. "What
spirit you have, I recognize it." He stared, considering me a moment.
"You have you mother's spirit, girl. Yes..." his voice trailed off,
hiding something that for a second sounded strange to my ears. What was
it? Admiration? Or, even love? Surely not, I told myself quickly. He
sighed, glancing up at the portrait of my father and the young girl.
Pointing with his cane, he spoke: "My daughter-in-law," he said as if I
had asked who it was. "My son loved her like no other since... well,
since your mother. But she didn't want to marry him. So, I forced her
to," he said like he was talking of breeding animals.
I stared at him in horror. "You can't force someone to feel what
they don't," I said without thinking, now understanding why the girl
looked so unhappy.
"I suppose you're right," Chronos mumbled, looking away from the
picture. "She killed herself last year in this very room we sit in." I
gasped, not only for the story, but also because of the light tone he
used when saying it. "I imagine," he continued, breaking my thoughts.
"That you maybe just what my son needs to get his mind off other
things."
And that's the way he said it, like an order he had placed for
someone to cheer up my father.
@------
There was to be a ball the next evening for my father's thirty-
fourth birthday. Chronos had given us an invitation. He gave strict
instructions for us to explain ourselves as cousins that were visiting
and not to give more explanation than that. Nervously I now stood in
front of the mirror, snapping gold ball earrings into my ears. I had
pulled my hair up into a twist, allowing spiral curls to fall loosely
around my face.
We had been given clothes to wear for the occasion. And although
I wasn't too happy about meeting my father for the first time in a
crowded room, I had to admit I was slightly excited. I wore a dress of
deep red, nearly black, that fell to the floor and clung to my body.
The top had thin straps holding it up and the front dipped down to
barely show a shadow of my cleavage. I wore only my wedding band,
earrings and the necklace Genjo had given me for jewelry.
I emerged from the bathroom just as Genjo was fighting with his
bow tie. I giggled as he cursed under his breath, causing him to turn
to look at me. "How in the he--" He stopped, his mouth opening and
closing like a fish out of water, staring. "W-wow," he breathed, tie
forgotten. I blinked, honestly confused about what he was staring at.
Never in a million years did I think I could cause such a reaction.
"You look.... beautiful," my husband mumbled, coming towards me.
Gently, like a caressing wind, he wrapped his arms around my waist.
I felt a blush heat my face and neck as he gasped at me
appreciatively. "Thank you," I replied just as shocked with his
reaction as he seemed to be with me. He pressed his lips to mine
briefly, as if afraid he'd ruin me if he held on too long or too tight.
I helped him with his tie and we grabbed our cloaks. Even I had
to admit he was easily the most handsome man I had ever seen, decked
out in a tuxedo that he seemed slightly uncomfortable in. Chronos had
sent a carriage for us and it stood waiting as we came downstairs.
The elderly gentleman behind the counter stared, open mouth, as
we descended. I laughed softly at his expression as Genjo bid him
goodnight and we left. The carriage was a simple one, two horses and a
man steering them, but it was exciting for me, because I had never been
in one. As we started for the palace, I watched as the people stopped
what they were doing to watch us go by.
As the palace once more came into view, I felt the familiar sense
of nerves wash over me and I fought to keep my hands steady. We pulled
up to the front of the palace and stopped in front of a set of long
stairs that lead up to the doorway. Genjo exited the carriage first and
held his hand up to help me. I couldn't help but stare once I was out
of the carriage. There were at least forty steps that lead up to two
enormous glass doors that were wide open. Beyond them the sound of
people laughing and music drifted to my ears. With a deep breath to
calm myself I took Genjo's arm and started up the steps.
Almost as if he'd been waiting for us, Chronos was standing on
the other side of the great doors. I couldn't hide my surprise at
seeing him, however. The perfect host, King Chronos was laughing loudly
with a group of men surrounding him. Now it was hard to tell how mean
and terrible he could be. He spotted us behind the crowd and excused
himself. "Genjo," he greeted just loud enough to satisfy on-lookers and
shook my husband's hand. He glanced at me, taking my hand and kissing
it lightly. "You look beautiful Mrs. Meiou." Once the group of men he
was taking to had split up, his voice changed to that one I easily
recognized. "Just remember what I said," he warned and then waved to
someone behind us and walked off.
"Hmph," my husband mumbled as we started away. "We could scream
out the truth for all in this room to know if we choose to," he
mumbled, casting a glance back at my grandfather with an evil gleam in
his eye.
"We don't want to do that," I told him just as quietly. "We'd
only get ourselves into trouble. There are guards swarming around this
place like angry bees." We walked towards the refreshment table, gazing
at the beautiful decorations. There were several ice sculptures of
beautiful birds, fountains and flowers like none I had ever seen in my
life. It was hard to believe that people had so much money that they
displayed it so elaborately. The cost of just one table of food could
easily feed a family for a year.
Genjo glanced at the large dance floor and suddenly took my hand.
"Could I tempt my beautiful wife to dance?"
I laughed as he twirled me around and then held me close as we
began to dance. Memories flooded my mind as we glided across the room.
Teaching myself to dance with a book, dreaming of a handsome man that
came to partner me. My beautiful mother laughing in my bedroom doorway
and then coming to dance with me until we fell onto the bed...
laughing...
Suddenly my memory was disturbed by Genjo kissing my lips softly.
It wasn't a dream--the handsome man of my dreams was here...
"What are you thinking about?" he asked softly.
"Nothing," I mumbled, my eye catching a man walking down the
giant set of marble stairs in the back of the room. He was tall enough
that I could see him even though he'd reached the bottom and my breath
caught as I realized whom this must me. "Genjo," I whispered, nodding
my head towards the stairs. "There he is; my father."
--End Chapter 2.
There's better author's notes at the bottom of the last chapter, since
I really should be in bed rather than posting this. ^^
3 Bethany
12-18-02