This is a profile of me, Tenshi-chan. Hopefully, this will give you a bit on what my life was/is like and who I really am.
Tenshi-chan
Siblings: 1 (older sister- Meio-chan/Morrighan)
Best friends: Hiiro (-niichan), Angelic Angel (Angel-chan), Crimson Goddess (Megami-san), Funky Demon Goddess of Sweet Tarts (FDG of ST...don't ask...), Shinigami (-kun) (Stop glaring, Mi-chan!!! Shinigami is a GUY!!!), Morrighan/Meio-chan (ane-chan)
Status: Eternity Angel (deceased)
Former life~ Meio-chan/Morrighan (real name-classified info) and I (real name- classified info) were actually cousins; our mothers were sisters. However, both our families died before we really knew them, so we were adopted by two different families. We never knew each other until the after life. I led a relatively calm life...well, except the part that I was part of an undercover agency (details-classified info). Since I was still in school, I mainly dealt with on-campus problems-- drugs, ugly fights, vandalism, etc. Occasionally, I covered other missions outside of school, even out of the country. I was more or less a spy (and a pretty good one, considering I got a ton of info on my out-of-country missions-- mainly to Middle East (I swear, Jews never seem to get along with Muslims), occasionally Japan and China as I had Chinese heritage (Mom was Chinese- I had raven black hair, but when I went to China and Japan, I had to wear contacts to hide my deep blue eyes that I got from Dad)), infiltrating different places. But not that kind of infiltration. Hiiro likes to bust in, be it quiet(slipping into OZ) or loud(entrance to L-3X18999). My style was like Trowa's not like Meio-chan or Hiiro's way of intrusion. I always went undercover, but who would suspect little innocent me? Heh, I had a clean record of never being caught by the enemy. (Unlike my dear cousin...)
High school senior year was my last year alive. I had just finished training with a gun right before finals. The finals were a pain, but the senior prom was coming up! My friends and I were so excited about it! Though a few guys had enough courage to ask me out, I gently declined because I promised a group of my friends, both guys and girls of course (not to mention we were paired up... But those poor rejected guys didn't need to know that), that I'd go with them. We had just finished shopping for the dresses in time for the prom. I actually found a really nice black dress with blue and silver trimmings- I never wear completely black- that I could hide my gun and extra cartridges of bullets in. Of course, my friends didn't know about my secret double life... The next day, the day before the senior prom, 3 crazy guys started a shoot out. Thank Kami-sama I had finished training and always carried my gun, small smoke screens, and extra rounds of bullets with me! I made sure all the students around me got to safe places before starting to open fire at the intruders. It took a while before the gunmen figured out who was firing at them. I had used to labyrinthine school to cover my tracks. I was able to wound one in the leg (I think he fainted... Fei would have called him weak), and I accidentally killed another, their leader. Kuso, the bakayaro wasn't supposed to move towards the bullet! That shot would have just hit his shooting arm, but no, he had to move and take it in the chest! I had taken a life, ended something most precious in the universe. Guilt just dripped over me as if a bucket of ice water had been dumped on me. I wasn't trained to kill, only to prevent others from killing. My trainers had exploited my unusual accuracy to have me only hit at non-vital spots (prisoners were more valuable alive than dead, but Hiiro-niichan might argue with me on that). In other words, I didn't kill... I was not supposed to kill... Life was not mine to end... I was so shocked... The third gunman fatally wounded me before I could recollect my thoughts and move. Talk about pain in life... I wish life could have been more peaceful though, without things like death in high school. All those kids who survived will be scarred for life. Leading a double life sure as hell is a pain in the ass. The training was intense, and I could hardly cover up my traces of being "different," but it was worth the experience. I was able to save lives, even though I destroyed one. My foster parents never knew about my secret life, for which I am very thankful for.
But the physical pain wasn't what really hurt... It was all emotional. And it wasn't just killing someone. You do not want to know who that third gunman was. Trust me, you really don't. I'll never be that close to a guy ever again because of what he did... How I felt when he realized that it was me...when he took his damn mask off...when I realized it was him...
Doushite?! Why did they do it?!
I'll never forgive him...
Or any of them...
Never.
Present life~ I was accepted into heaven, having died an "honorable death," (I don't quite remember if Fei was the judge or not...sounds like him though...) and I quickly earned my angel wings. I found Meio-chan (or more or less flew into her...literally... Nani? I was practicing flying!) and we discovered that we were cousins in out past life. We became so close that it was as if we were sisters. Hence come the "ane-chan" for Meio-chan (she was older than me). We went to the Celestial Academy together to become Goddesses of some sort. There, we met the infamous Angelic Angel, our dearest Angel-chan. Eventually, ane-chan split off to study her own interests and eventually became the Goddess of War, Morrighan. Angel-chan went to study the element of Love, having this thing for love potions. Unfortunately, it might be a few millennia before she succeeds in becoming the Goddess of Love. But, she's working at it. She's starting to study Time too. As for me...well...let's just say I'll never become a Goddess. Even after a century at the Academy, I couldn't focus on any one element, and it was way too much work to focus on them all. So, with the permission of the Higher Gods and Goddesses, I was able to drop out of the Academy and became an Eternity Angel, an demi-deity. *sigh* The stupid uniforms don't fit me. Well, they are my size, yet there's something about it that I'm still not used to. It's all white. I never wear all white, especially since I prefer black... But then I never wear all black either...
My duties to the Gods and Goddesses were to accomplish tasks that they gave to me. I usually worked with ane-chan and Megami-san, but sometimes I worked with others. My favorite "missions" were the guardian missions. I loved watching my charges grow up into adults in their world. It's amazing how quickly, yet slowly, people can change in their lifetimes...
The only missions I would refuse were those that had to do with killing (the closest to death I got was watching a charge die). What I had done all those centuries ago had always hung over me like a dark shadow. Maybe that's why I couldn't force myself to choose an element...didn't think I deserved the divinity and immortality of a Goddess, not after ending a mortal life (not to mention I personally knew the guy I had accidentally killed). Anyway, I refused all missions that would take another life. Well, that meant the rather blood-thirsty Ares wouldn't be able to get me to accept any of his missions...heh-heh-heh (not to mention he is ane-chan's rival...). Shinigami-kun also had a bit of a problem with this, as there weren't many trusty Eternity Angels around to give certain missions, so he was always careful with the missions he gave me. However, Shinigami-kun and I still became really good friends. But only friends. After what happened last time... *shudders* I refuse to set myself up in a situation like that again. Even if Shinigami-kun is different...but I through he was different too...
How I met the G-Boys:
Hiiro~ I was often assigned guardian missions by Megami-san and I became the guardian angel of a girl named Sara. Hiiro still flinches a bit whenever I mention her. I first saw him through my young charge. She had been taking her dog, Mary, out for a walk where they found the young boy Hiiro Yui resting. Sara died that very night. In a way, Hiiro had killed her. I learned later that Hiiro had just finished planting a series of bombs that would destroy the OZ base nearby. When the bombs had gone off, an unaccounted for MS Leo crashed into the apartment building where my charge lived. I would have saved Sara, she was so young and innocent, but Fate had tangled up my Wings. Amid the pain and sadness, I was touched by the mixture of heartbreaking emotions on Hiiro's normally stoic face (his monotonous voice was quite unnerving at first). I noticed he clenched flower Sara had given to him so tightly in his hand, I was afraid he was going to hurt himself. I watched the Perfect Soldier be born that day. Hiiro had finally eliminated the last traces of his humanity.
But that wasn't the last time I saw Hiiro Yui. I returned to home, with the death of my charge, her soul would be taken care of in the Underworld. However, that was not to be. Shinigami-kun waited for me, greeting me with a comforting hug, knowing how I felt when my charge died so young. But something was wrong. The moment he let go of me, I knew something was wrong with Sara. Her soul had been lost on the way to the Underworld, Shinigami-kun's realm. He gave me the mission of finding her soul, which I immediately accepted, worried about the lost girl, especially with her disturbing death. That girl was so hard to find too! I met Hiiro in person during my quest. Actually, I met Hiiro, Duo, and Quatre. I surmised the 3 of them had a mission to destroy some base (what, you think they're actually going to tell me in the face what they were doing?), and they had just finished planting detonation devices that were on a timer. The base exploded. I knew it from the look on Hiiro's face as he stared at his watch that something was wrong with the timing...too early, I guess. Anyway, he happened to notice me, and I could see a look of fear flash in his eyes. I guess I must have been too close to the explosion zone for his liking, so he immediately tackled me to the ground and shielded me with his body. He saved my life that day. (Yes, we Angels can die, though it's very difficult to slay us. We're only demi-deities, so we're not totally immortal. However, should you succeed in killing me, you might have a couple of vengeful Gods and Goddesses on your tail, namely ane-chan, Megami-san, and Shinigami-kun, and who knows what potion Angel-chan will concoct up for you.) I could tell he was still suffering over Sara's death, just as I was over those high school boys (Aiya, I've got to get over that...but for some reason, I can't...). Duo and Quatre ran over then, puzzled about what had happened. Heh, I knew what happened. Only one thing could explain it. Chaos. Especially if it meant to take an Eternity Angel out of commission. The Gods and Goddesses had been battling Chaos for quite a while. Sometimes it broke free of the bonds they set against it. But I didn't say anything; they didn't need any more complications in their life. I started calling Hiiro "nii-chan" from that day on, because of what he had done for me, even if he technically younger than me (he looked older than me though). The 3 of them had been so kind to me, except when Hiiro-niichan pulled his gun on me, but what is a small little hand gun to an Angel? It's not like I didn't deal with guns in my past life. Ironic though, how he saved my life, then threatened to take it away. Oh well, Duo and Quatre made him put his favorite weapon away. He's such a Perfect Soldier, in every aspect. No wonder he's ane-chan's Chosen.
I actually found Sara a few months after that. Her soul was all torn and tarnished, thinking that Hiiro had betrayed her, murdered her in cold blood. I used the memories of Hiiro-niichan that I had to show her what Hiiro-niichan was like now, and how her death had affected him. She stopped fighting my attempts to heal her as I told her about Hiiro-niichan and slowly I got her hurt soul to peace. Shinigami-kun was relieved when he saw me leading her into his domain.
Ever since that day I met Hiiro-niichan and his two comrades in person, I've devoted myself in my free-time to watch over them and keep them safe. Sometimes, ane-chan and Angel-chan would watch with me...ane-chan would watch her Chosen (Hiiro-niichan) anyway...and Angel-chan began to have this thing for Zechs/Milliardo... I promised Angel-chan that I would introduce her to Milli-kun once she graduated. That ought to get her motivated...
Duo~ Now he was one interesting person to watch. He could always make me laugh. Duo was such a carefree character, always sanguine and cheerful, always believing in his companions, especially after what happened in his past, at the Church... He's always the trouble-maker though, and he never seemed to learn not to call ane-chan "babe." Oh well, Fei never stopped calling ane-chan "onna" either. He would always be there to brighten a gloomy day, whether it be by doing something really hilarious, or insulting "Wu-man."
Oh well, he's Shinigami-kun's Chosen. Funny how Duo's claimed the name Shinigami, especially since he sort of resembles Shinigami-kun. I nearly called him "Shinigami-kun" when I first saw him. Maybe the two of them are actually related, or maybe Duo is the human body of Shinigami-kun reborn without old memories. I've got to go ask him...though I seriously doubt I'll get a straight answer from him.
Quatre~ I didn't watch Quatre that much during the Eve Wars...there was always Trowa looking out for him and the 39 Maganacs as well. However, I was the one who blew the tire when he went to the colonial meeting after the Eve Wars. You know, the one that had bombs rigged in it? The meeting that could have cost his life? (Blind Target) I...I should have stopped the bomb instead of just stopping Quatre... Then Quatre might not be so sad about the deaths. But I just couldn't let him die.
He's really a wonderful person, vital to his friends and family, and to the future. He was such a sweet and kind person, with a rather subtle stubborn streak, probably from his father. He was always so determined to do the right thing, shunning those who killed the innocent. He could be pretty unforgiving sometimes though, clouding his normally clear judgment. He cared about the world and it's people a lot, and I admire his strength and courage to go against his personal desires of pacifism to fight for what's needed to be fought for. The world wouldn't have been the same with out the caring Quatre Raberba Winner.
Did I mention he plays the violin beautifully? Especially when accompanied by Trowa's flute? Their music is so pretty, probably the only part of them not so heavily scarred by the war.
Trowa~ I would have never thought that one of the gundam pilots would have been a clown for a profession. I didn't know Trowa that well, meeting him by watching Quatre. I knew Quatre really cared for him, deeply. I discovered that Trowa didn't have a guardian angel, therefore I was permitted to look through his memories by Megami-san. I knew that Trowa really cared for Quatre as I looked over Trowa's past. I was the one who returned Trowa's memories when Quatre defended him in the battle of the barge. He's always so silent... Perhaps Quatre and Catherine can teach him to be a human again, not just a soldier. Too bad about Middie though, she really was a sweet girl. If only she wasn't put into such a terrible situation, but she knew what had to be done to save her family. She was a brave girl...especially to defy someone she loved like that.
I went to one of his circus performances while I was searching for Sara. His act seriously scared me. I put a little charm on him, just in case. No knife thrown at him would ever pierce his skin. Unless of course the knife had magic in it that was stronger than mine...but then they'd find a couple vengeful, blood-thirsty Gundam Pilots and a few pissed off deities wanting their heads...
Wufei~ Poor Fei. Ever since ane-chan and Angel-chan had gone watching over the 6 (including Milliardo) of them with me, they both seem to enjoy picking on Fei. I finally got them to stop just recently...well...sort of... Until Fei disses Hiiro or Milli-kun again...then he might be in for a little trouble from my friends. He was an interesting character, full of pride for his views of justice and his clan. Of course, sometimes his extreme arrogance got him into a bit of trouble...like with ane-chan... He was quite the stubborn one, maybe more stubborn than Quatre-kun was. His determination to show Meilan that he would be strong for her, and that he would change the world never faltered, even through the end of the Mariemaia incident. Meilan...his past was so unhappy, his heart finally at ease and shattered three seconds later. I actually was able to meet Meilan and talk to her (Shinigami-kun let me do a search through his realm). Oh Fei... If only... If only she were still there for him! They would have made such a loving couple... And Fei...if you're reading this...Meilan said you're the best husband a wife could ever have... Poor Fei... If only he could find happiness in his life... His heart may be scarred beyond repair...
Whenever we meet, Wufei always calls me weak onna, unless ane-chan's around. Then he wouldn't dare. (Heh-heh-heh! Advantages of having a Goddess of War for an older sister!) It saddens me that he holds such low regard of me. It seems the only way I can prove to him that I'm strong, is by fighting. But I don't fight anymore. Not since...then. I leave that to ane-chan.
Oh Fei...will you ever let me prove myself to you?
Zechs/Milliardo~ I really didn't watch this mysterious man that much during the Eve Wars. I knew about him because of the dislike Hiiro-niichan seemed to have for him. Of course I was watching their final battle where Zechs supposedly died; I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Fine, Zechs, or Milliardo as some people call him, did actually die, just not at that battle. I knew that he was still alive after the final battle between Zero and Epyon, but I didn't expect him to end up in Shinigami's realm so soon. I was just visiting and all of sudden, a torn and battered Milliardo Peacecraft comes in. He was so quiet and it was unnerving, especially when I told him that I knew about Hiiro-niichan and the guys. I finally got out of him the reason that he was dead. He self-destructed Epyon while he was still in it, taking his suit with him to hell. I nearly slapped him. That baka...I dunno what got into his mind... Maybe Treize was bothering (aka haunting) him... (Domon Wing Bloopers) I'll have a little chat with him soon...
Anyway, Milli-kun, as I came to call him, would have gone to heaven to become a deity, if he hadn't died in an act of suicide. So, Shinigami-kun graciously let him have a pleasant life in "hell" as mortals tend to call it. I learned a lot about him and his sister Relena as well. I told him about me and my life, giving him a fair warning that he was to stay clear away from Angel-chan (heh-heh-heh). Sometimes, I let him watch over the guys with me, and I showed him how (terribly) Noin was doing without him.
One time when I was loosing a match of chess to Milli-kun (trust me, he kicks ass in chess), Shinigami-kun interrupted us, claiming that there were three guys who wanted to see me. I had a questioning look on my face but Shinigami-kun just held a straight face. I opened the door, took one look, and slammed the door shut in their faces. It was him! And his two buddies. The one who I had trusted the most in my former life. Kuso! I was a undercover agent, I should have known if he was going to commit such an act or not! We were really close to each other, but he betrayed that trust the moment he took his gun out... I guess they had come to apologize. Shimatta, it was too late. Heh, if they wanted to ask for forgiveness, they should have tried to keep their temper in check before they utter a single word in my presence!
Milliardo then learned of my...dislike of killing. He said I was almost like Quatre. I had been a fighter, but I never forgave the loss of innocence. But Quatre learned to get over it, though the event of the destruction of innocent lives in his name would always hang over him. Just like it did with me. Except I didn't get over it. Wufei was right. I really am weak, because it takes a much stronger person to truly forgive someone and to move on, than one that tries to run away. I don't think I'll every forgive them...
Then came the Mariemaia incident (I do not know what went into Fei's head! That was not my or ane-chan's doing! I suspect it was Ares...), and Milli-kun immediately knew what was going on: that Dekim would make Mariemaia into another Milliardo Peacecraft of the White Fang. I mentioned the possibility of him returning to life, but he said no. I think he was getting a little too comfy in Hell. I knew that he would be a great help to Hiiro-niichan in fighting against the new faction, so I petitioned to Megami-san to grant him life again. Then, of course, there was the great long argument between Milli-kun and I about why he should (not- in his opinion) live again. Baka. I guess Hell was just too good for him; he wouldn't leave. Damn, he was so stubborn that I really did slap him. Thankfully he finally realized that either he would go and live life properly, or stay down in Hell and have me pestering him all the time. It was almost too late before I was finally able to kick him out (literally) of the Underworld and back into Life. Heh-heh, at least he knows what being dead is like. Hopefully he won't do anything stupid this time... Hopefully... *sweatdrop* Eh-heh-heh... That's not too reassuring... You can never know with Milliardo Peacecraft...
I wonder if Hiiro-niichan really knew who I was. A little while after the Eve wars, I met him again, just by chance. We exchanged greetings and had a small lunch together. I told him about my former life, as an undercover agent, omitting the part that I died of course. Hiiro-niichan told me about his younger life before he met J, and Odin Lowe and all the things they did together. He didn't flinch when I called him "Hiiro-niichan", an improvement, I guess, since Sara used to call him "niichan." He told me about Relena-san, and how they could never be, his feelings of protectiveness never sprouting for love. I told him to keep on looking for someone to make him happy, someone special that he'd risk it all for. Someone who could open him up beyond just talking. Then my cellphone rang, which I left to answer the call in private. By the time I returned, Hiiro-niichan was gone, no since of him except enough money on the table to pay for both of our meals. Shortly after our meeting, he upgraded Wing Zero and gave it angel-like wings. Did he know...? Could he see my wings? I thought I had veiled them properly... I can't seem to get any answer out of him...
Our conversation was rather interesting, though. I told him about my unwillingness to end another human's life, and how I deeply regretting taking that guy's life. Then he asked me the one question I didn't want to hear. Would I have done it again, if I found myself in a kill or die situation? He seemed to be able to counter every answer I gave. *grrrr* What a pessimist! But would I? To kill and soil my hands or let this one boy destroy the lives of so many others, perhaps even my own? Would I have done it again? Maybe I'm being a selfish brat, desiring to wash off the grime and filth from my sordid hands. Someone has to do it. I should fight so others don't have to fight in my place. But can't I be selfish? I didn't want to kill... I didn't want the torment and dirt of death staining my soul. I made the mistake of letting that bullet fly... But if I hadn't, many more could have died... Would I have done it again...? I couldn't give Hiiro-niichan an answer then, but now I can. After listening to the opinions of my "family" and friends, I have come to an honest answer.
Yes. I would have. If killing was the only option, I should, and I will forget my selfish desire to be inviolate and soil my hands, if not for my mind, but for the people whose lives depended on my success at this mission. But only if death was the only way out. Just as Trowa had stated in the last battle with the Barton's, I would try to limit the casualties only to myself, if possible. But my death could have caused the deaths of so many other students and staff members who were more innocent and deserving to life than me. I would have felt worse if that had happened. Even though I'd rather not, I'll sacrifice my innocence to preserve the innocence of others.
Of course killing them would have been much easier if they weren't one of my closer friends... It was really my fault. I should have seen it coming since I spent so much time with them...
But I didn't.
And look at what happened.
Why couldn't I have seen what they were going to do?! There must have been leads...
That's what makes this dilemma so difficult for me. But if killing them all off in the beginning would have stop it, I would have done it. But I would have still regretted committing such a deed.
But someone has to do it. I'll do it, so I can protect those dear to me.
"War brings Sorrow, but we must fight to protect our loved ones from the sorrow." ~Quatre Raberba Winner
I'll try to be stronger now, Wufei...
My missions are becoming more scarce now; many guardian missions are given to new trainees. I'm usually helping Angel-chan with school work (Aphrodite is seriously on to failing her...) and watching over (and visiting) my friends with ane-chan and Angel-chan. Since I introduced them to each other after the Wars, Hiiro-niichan and Morrighan are more or less an item now, though that might lead to a problem in the future because it's forbidden for an immortal to fall in love with a mortal (trust me, Ares-baka and Aphrodite-baka have already been questioning me about their situation). The guys are actually living peaceful lives now after the Mariemaia incident, for which I'm thankful of. Well, Wufei's in the Preventers with Sally... Milli-kun's with Noin-san on their interplanetary explorations... Hiiro-niichan's trying to live life low as a normal human and still be able to watch over Relena-san... Duo's still Duo selling junk with Hilde and still playing delivery man in some places... Quatre doesn't enjoy all of the paperwork he has to do...but Trowa's still having fun at the circus with his sister. At least they've all lightened up without the weight of the Gundams on their shoulders. Though some things may be coming up... You never know, Fate and Destiny always enjoy trying people...testing their strength and courage... I really wish they wouldn't though. I'll need that have a little chat with them soon; I think Hiiro-niichan and his friends have had enough hardships in their life. I want them all to be truly happy... They deserve a more peaceful life.