Part 17

Buffy sat back down on her bed and clutched her legs to her body. She trembled and wished she'd gotten that dreaded Anya/Anyanka girl to tell her the whole story. Or at least tell her in more detail. She was so full of questions that she was sure she was near bursting. She wiped away a few of her runaway tears as they broke free from her eyes of their own volition.

She pressed her head to her knees and clutched her metal cross and prayed to God that what Anya had said was untrue. That she was lying just to get to her. But her reasoning got away from her and pointed out that that theory wouldn't make sense, especially since she just happened to be in possession of the necklace and, at times, lived such a charmed life that she wondered if it were all a very realistic dream—okay, a very *long* realistic dream that would disprove the common theory that pain couldn't be felt in the dreaming state.

**No wonder all this crap has been going on in the past few months...like what happened with Riley. Oh, and I'm gonna kill Jennifer. I swear, I see people hiding in cars with tinted windows all over the place. All good things come to an end, right?**

"Buffy?"

She looked up and saw Angel standing in her doorway, breathless yet barely breaking a sweat. She didn't respond, only shifting aside to make room for him to sit down next to her.

"Buffy? What's wrong?" He closed the door behind him and sat down next to her. He spoke in a concerned tone of voice and tried desperately to catch her gaze. She just looked down at her hands and bit her lip nervously.

"You'll think I'm crazy or weird or something," she whispered uncertainly.

Angel sighed and knelt in front of her and looked straight into her distraught eyes. He brought his thumb up to her face to wipe away the fresh tear on her cheek. Buffy smiled at him in return and fidgeted with her hands. Angel rested his hands over hers to stop them moving and said, "You can tell me. I won't think you're weird. Never."

"No, you'll go all Noel and Ben on me and think I'm schizophrenic or something."

Angel's face scrunched up in puzzlement. "Not following."

"In the last season of Felicity, Megan did a spell on Felicity to make her go back in time. It worked and then she tried to tell Noel and Ben what had happened, but they thought she'd gone schizo. They even looked up the symptoms on the Net and admitted her into a hospital," Buffy explained, but Angel struggled to keep up.

"So...what was it that you're trying to tell me?"

"Well, you know Anya, right?"

Buffy told him everything that had happened. It'd only been a few minutes ago, but it felt like the issue had been resting on her shoulders (not to mention, her thoughts) for hours. It seemed like it took an eternity with all the little questions he kept asking, but she finally got the message through.

"So, do you think I'm crazy?"

Angel gulped. He hadn't been expecting to hear what she'd told him. How in another life he was supposed to have been a vampire with a soul and she was a vampire slayer in love with him. It explained a lot, but he still had questions. Lots of questions. "No, I don't. It explains the déjà vu and how I felt so strongly for you when I first met you. How you manage to be so smart. How you're so perfect."

"Now isn't the time for flattery, Romeo. Especially when I don't even know what's real and what's there because of my wish. I don't even know if Buffy is my real name," she was close to wailing in distress. "Not that it's such a great name anyway." She collapsed into his strong arms and they fell backwards from the force of her projection onto the hard ground at the end of her bed.

**Uh-oh. Awkward situation.**

Buffy got up, allowing Angel to sit up as well. He ran a hand through his hair. "So...do you have a reply or is it gonna be one of the awkward silence things?" Buffy self-consciously fixed up her clothes and folded her arms over her chest so as to hide herself from his view. No need to make an already awkward enough situation even more awkward than it already was.

Angel sat down next to her, leaning against the side of her bed. He took one of her hands in both of his and held on tight. "I'm real," he said and tucked a bunch of loose hair behind her ear. "You're real. Does it really matter if it's real? It's real to you and me and everyone else. You *really* went through everything to get to where you are now. Your life isn't a sham. You lived through it and worked hard to get where you are now." Angel gently took her chin and turned her head to face him. He was mesmerised by her eyes; they told him all of her thoughts.

She wanted to accept what he'd said to her. It made sense, but it didn't seem right. It was almost as if she was cheating or won a rigged lottery or something. Yet she still wanted to believe and accept his words. She *did* work hard all her life. She'd lost friends because she chose to follow her budding singing career. It hadn't always been a smooth ride to fame.

"It might sound out of the blue, but...I love you."

Buffy was snapped out of her thoughts. "Did you just say what I thought you said?"

Angel brought his other hand up to touch her cheek. It felt real to both of them—Angel felt the silken skin beneath his fingertips twitch at the warmth they brought to her cheek—there was no denying it. Without replying, he pulled her to him and took her lips in an agonisingly slow, yet passionate, kiss.

Buffy couldn't stand it anymore. She didn't want to go all safe and slow anymore. Sham or no sham, she wanted him with every inch of her being and she wasn't about to wait for a moment to come up as perfect as this, even though they were sitting on her cold bedroom floor and she had traces of ruined mascara on her cheeks. She wrapped both arms around his neck to bring him closer and for a more passionate and fervent kiss. Her heart sped up with anticipation as Angel responded with an equal amount of ferocity.

She inched her way into her lap and entwined herself with him, taking every measure to make sure they were as close together as they could possibly be and that no even a wisp of sunlight could pass between them. She pressed her body against his wrapped her legs around his waist, pressing herself even closer to him.

Angel ran his hands over her back and played with the ends of her silky golden hair. It felt so right, being there with her, and sharing whatever feelings they had between them. She had yet to return his loving sentiment, but he was sure that he didn't need to hear it to know that she felt the same way.

His hands trailed southward and wandered to her round, firm ass and taking a seemingly effortless heave, had them standing and falling down onto her bed a split-second later. He pulled away from her kiss to admire her fully. He couldn't imagine how he could ever have thought so little of her in the beginning. Just another teen popstar—a teenybopper if you will. But she had proved him wrong. She was beautiful, witty, easygoing, even smart; and above all else, she was the woman he had come to fall in love with.

Angel leaned over and whispered in her ear. "Are you sure about this?"

Buffy looked up into his eyes and spoke with an unwavering voice. "Surer than I've ever been or ever will be."

*****

Angel woke up later and found several bare limbs entangled with his own. Smiling down at the owner of said limbs, he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and checked for the time on the clock sitting next to her bed. It was still early—only 8 o'clock. They hadn't fallen asleep for too long; luckily. He was still incredibly tired, however, what with all the horizontal tango he and Buffy had engaged in.

Buffy turned away from him in her sleep and felt the absence of Angel pressed against her skin. Unconsciously, she wriggled backwards until they were pressed together once more and grabbed one of his hands to drape over her waist. She let out a soft sigh and snuggled into the pillows.

Angel restrained a laugh and began drawing delicate circles on the smooth skin of her belly. She quickly woke up, squealing at the sensation. "Stop! I'm ticklish!"

"Oh, are you now?" Angel teased, not letting up his gentle torture. He moved his tickling fingers agonisingly slowly upwards and crept under her body to her back. He lifted her into a sitting position and kissed her with a giddy smile plastered on his face.

"I hope it isn't late," Buffy said worriedly. "Giles could catch us. He'd chuck a spaz and call my parents and tell them that he found me naked and in bed with an incredibly gorgeous guy. I don't think it'd bode well with my parents."

"However, I don't think Giles would describe me as gorgeous," Angel said in amusement while his wandering fingers fidgeted with the soft ends of her now slightly-messy hair.

"I realise that. But that's how *I'd* describe you." Buffy inched closer to him and sat in his lap, "Besides, you're my hottie and mine alone. I can't have Giles or any old bimbo saying that you're incredibly gorgeous."

"Not even my sister?"

"You don't have a sister."

"What about your sister then?"

"She doesn't count."

"Fine. You win."

"Do I get a prize?" Buffy asked, wrapping her arms around his neck and a suggestive look on her face.

"Of course," Angel replied, pulling her lips into a kiss. And into another...and another...and another. He struggled to pull away from the tantalising warmth of his girlfriend but eventually succeeded when Buffy decided that she was out of oxygen.

"I should really...go now," he said, panting heavily.

"I agree—you should go or...I'm gonna do something really irresponsible and get myself into a big mess," she agreed, moving away from him to turn on a bedside lamp.

Angel just nodded and began to search for his clothes, which had been strewn in amongst hers and tangled within the bed sheets.

Buffy tried not to sneak herself a peek but couldn't help herself when he bent over to look for his shoes under a chair in the corner. Quickly realising what she'd done, she darted beneath the covers until Angel gave her the okay.

"You know, it's all right to want to look."

"Yeah, but it'll remove the temptation." Buffy grinned as Angel approached her and gave a fiery kiss, regardless.

"I'll just...duck out the window," Angel said, gesturing to the window Buffy had snuck out months ago after her nightmare. He hopped out and was gone a minute later.

Buffy sighed and smoothed back her hair, falling back against her pillows. Not ten seconds later, Angel found his way to the side of her bed and dropping another kiss to her forehead.

"Happy five-month anniversary," he whispered and was once again out the window.

Buffy bit her lip to keep herself from giddy giggling that she could feel coming on. She couldn't hold it back and threw herself under the covers to muffle the sound of her laughter. Also, she had no wish to be caught giggling half covered in bed with no clothes on, mussed hair and twisted bedding. It would be awful suspicious.

Hopping out of bed, she pulled on whatever clothes she could find and scampered off to find the bathroom. She had no wish to wash away the remnants of what she'd just done as if she regretted it, but the small trail of blood on her thigh was going to be...messy, if not taken care of soon. Unlike her other suspicious problems, this wouldn't be as easy to explain away. **Fuck! I'm not a virgin anymore. How weird is that? Woah. Be kind, rewind. I just lost my virginity. And it just occurred to me that I didn't tell him I loved him, too. Ah, very smart Buffy...very smart.**

Buffy shook her head regretfully as she twisted the handles of her shower. **I'll tell him when the time is right.**