Part 18

Buffy reluctantly pulled out several suitcases from her wardrobe and started to pull out clothes from all over the place...just as reluctantly. **Would it kill Giles to let me know a while *beforehand*?** She grumbled. She would away from Sunnydale for over a fortnight and she was being forced to be around stuffy old Giles—however nice he was, he just couldn't take the place of friends (or Angel)—Gunn and, every so often, bits of her family. She was going to Los Angeles again, not because she wanted to visit her family (which she made a habit of doing every other weekend), but because *Lilah* was pestering her about doing some publicity so that her presence wouldn't fall down the proverbial rabbit hole.

Buffy desperately wanted to stay at home—after all, it was going to be their 8 month anniversary soon and graduation shortly after she came back. No missing of finals, much to her disappointment.

Eight months was a long time, Buffy stopped to ponder it. **Eight months is, like, two-thirds of a year... It's almost as unbelievable as how I long it's taking to tell Angel that I love him.** Buffy huffed as she recalled how badly-timed every single time she'd tried had been. Once, they had been at Angel's and she'd started to tell him right after another round of sex—at the exact time that Spike had bellowed, "Are you two finally finished shagging yet?" just outside the bedroom door.

That particular occurrence had been about a month and a half ago, and it was still embarrassing to remember. Everyone barged in upon hearing Spike's shouting, including Angel's parents, Faith, Spike, one of the maids and even the dog.

Another time, she'd been interrupted by a waiter who'd asked what kind of sauce she'd like with her lobster, another had been halted when a streaker jumped the fence to her home and wouldn't stop throwing himself against the window, and again when Dawn skipped into the room and joked about her being all "kissy-faced", just to annoy her. It was bordering on being annoying. Maybe she'd fall down the stairs next time or get sneezed on by a man with the Ebola virus. They would make fabulous interruptions as well; nice and deadly.

She pulled a case out from her vanity table and started filling it with things from her drawers—mostly makeup and hair accessories and other such toiletries. She threw it into one of her suitcases and moved onto packing some jewellery and her phone charger. After all, she was going to have to charge her phone after calling Angel for hours on end and telling him how much she missed him and loved him.

She picked up a couple of other things from her wardrobe and slammed all her suitcases closed. Giles told her this morning that they would leave this afternoon—always so kind and considerate of the needs of other people, he was.

**Oh well, at least maybe I can finally pay Jennifer a visit. I've put it off for long enough.** She hurried down the stairs and raided the kitchen cupboards for a few snacks to bring with her on the trip—Oreos, assorted lollies and other (much healthier) snack foods. She threw them haphazardly into a backpack and loaded a few CDs in with her Discman and hopped into the waiting car.

"Gunn? Is my stuff in the car?"

"Umm...what's the rush?" He asked with a raised eyebrow and a suspicious tone.

"Oh, it's just that the sooner I see Lilah, the sooner I can punch her face in," Buffy shrugged. "Or at least yell at her, cos I think she'd be too tall for me to punch properly."

"Uh-huh. I see," he nodded, not sounding at all as if he meant it. "Upset about having to leave lover boy all on his lonesome with a town full of pretty girls?"

"No," she replied sharply. "There's no one in Sunnydale to meet anyway. There aren't any pretty girls around and I'm not as paranoid as you seem to think I am. I'm just going to miss him." Buffy folded her hands in her lap and gave Gunn a wary look. "And don't you dare tell Giles about him. He'll freak and he'll blame you."

"No he won't."

"Fine, he won't, but he might and could."

"Sure, sure, whatever, Buffy. Your bags are all in the trunk and the old guy's bringing his own stuff down so I guess we're stuck here for another five or six hours," Gunn joked, pretending to casually inspect his fingernails as he spoke.

She punched him playfully in the arm, "He's not that bad you know. I happen to like Giles and I think he's a good father-ish figure to me."

"Uh-huh. And caterpillars have legs."

"Gunn, caterpillars *do* have legs."

"Really? Oops."

*****

"Okay. You have 4 magazine interviews and 3 television interviews," Lilah went through a list of things in her notebook and stabbed a pen next to each item as she told Buffy about them. "And don't argue. You're in high demand right now and I intend for you to take full advantage of it. Especially since you intend to record a new album over the summer and have it released. I know you and I know that you want it to be successful even after such a long break from the industry."

"Yeah, yeah, I know all this. Just get to the bit where I can huff and stalk off because I feel inconvenienced," Buffy said is as much of a bored tone as she could manage. It was boring, but it was necessary. One of those things that you hated having to do but had to do anyway. Like cleaning your room or doing homework. **ESPECIALLY cleaning my room. I swear, I don't even know how it can get so messy. It's not my fault.**

"Uh, Lilah, how long do you expect this to take?" Giles butted in.

Lilah flipped through a few of the files spread out on her desk and pursed her lips. Her eyebrows went up slightly, Buffy noticed, and her frown turned into a smile. "No need to worry. We'll have her back in time for graduation."

"I better be. Or else you can consider yourself fired," Buffy bit out and slumped into an armchair with her arms folded over her chest.

Lilah was taken aback and shuffled through the files again, "Okay, then, as long as it goes smoothly and we don't have any hitches, deaths, or accidents, I'm sure you'll make it. Is that better?"

Buffy didn't like the woman...but she was good at what she did.

*****

"So she hasn't said the three little words yet, is that what you're worried about?" Willow asked Angel as soon as their maths lesson was over. Only so much could be said when passing notes behind the back of their maths teacher. It was almost as if he had eyes in the back of his head and sound bugs disguised as pieces of gum stuck under the desks.

"No," Angel grunted in reply. He was missing Buffy already and she'd only been gone for two days. She'd called him just before she'd started packing and had said that she wished he could come along. She'd called him both days she was gone as well and had assured him that she was fine and that she was going to be back in time for both prom and graduation.

"No she hasn't or no she has?" Willow crinkled her eyebrows together in confusion. She'd assumed that Buffy had told him already—they were all over each other all the time and were jaded whenever they were together—it was love with a big L.

"Uh...the first one?"

"So she hasn't... What do you think she feels?"

"Most of the time, she seems to feel the same way I do about her. The rest of the time, it's like she's guilty about being with me, wary of getting close to me in public. Sometimes it's as if she's just about to admit to something, but stops herself at the last minute... I dunno. I'm confused," Angel shook his head in defeat. He loved her, of that he was sure, but did she love him?

"Well, have you considered other reasons for her behaviour?" Willow suggested.

"What? Like that she's cheating on me?"

"No! Not that. She'd never cheat on you. Remember, she's been cheated on before," Willow pointed out, pausing briefly to hit the locker door with her fist, causing it to spring open. "Maybe she's treading carefully, or taking it slow, or wary of being hurt, or worried about the whole deal with the fame and all that. There are *heaps* of reasons why she could be stalling. And hey, maybe she wants to tell you but doesn't ever have the guts to say it."

"...I guess you're right...but I could never see Buffy not having the guts to say something."

"Hey everyone," Xander jumped into the conversation, surprising both Willow and Angel and causing them both to jump. "What's the what? Am I missing any juicy gossip? Is Mr BigShot here kicked out of the swim team or something?"

"Dream on, Xander," Angel snorted.

"Hey, it's not my fantasy. Just my odd new obsession. Angel? In the swim team? Who'd have thought?"

"I don't see *you* having groupies."

"Hey, no bickering. You do it all the time and th-there just comes a point wh-when a person just wants to explode because...just because," Willow...exploded. She had her fists clenched and her arms held stiffly at her sides.

Angel and Xander nodded, fearing the fury that lurked within her posture.

"Good."

"He started it," Xander muttered under his breath.

"Did not."

Willow just glared at them. She flung her bag over her shoulder and looked at Xander expectantly.

"Um...sorry?"

"Apologise later. I need to talk to Angel."

"Okay, I'll just...stand here on my own. Watching the world pass me by, whatever you—oof!" Xander's muttering ended as soon as he crashed into something. Or rather it crashed into him since he was standing still. It was soft, warm and floral...and had breasts. **Okay, so far so good. As long as it isn't Harmony or my English teacher, I think I'll be right as rain.**

"Hi Xander," Anya piped up. "Do you have a date to prom?"

**Or not.**

*****

Buffy punched in the phone number that had been ingrained in her memory for the past eight or so months. She missed Angel desperately and it had only been a week. A long, hard week full of missing Angel, doing promotional work and working on the new album. She wouldn't be recording until summer, but Giles—the ever-efficient Brit—had insisted upon it. She'd been writing songs since August for this album and had Jenny train her voice every other week to keep it up to scratch and the cheerleading had taken the place of her regular dance practices. She wanted this more than almost anything and had done this kind of thing before (without him), yet she still couldn't help wishing that he was there with her.

His presence in her life had become this...force that she expected to be there all the time. It didn't help that she had to keep the fact that she had a boyfriend a secret from Giles. He had forbidden it on the grounds of possible impregnation, emotional trauma and of change in public image.

"Angel?" Buffy whispered into her mobile. She'd called every night, but she'd never missed him as much as she did now.

"Buffy? Is there anything wrong?" Angel spoke softly, concern pouring from his tone of voice. "Are you sick, injured, dying, pregnant, or in danger?"

"No, no, nothing like that," Buffy laughed. "I just miss you."

And so they talked and talked...and talked and talked some more. Before they knew it, they'd talked for one and a half hours about the littlest, most unimportant of things. She almost felt as if she were with him instead of speaking to him through a bunch of wires. His voice soothed her and she was almost falling asleep to the sound of his voice.

"Wow, it's almost one. I need to get up at seven tomorrow. It's for something or other. I'm not sure. Probably a photo shoot. I heard something along those lines..." Buffy trailed off. "It'd be so great if you could come out here for the weekend. But with Giles around, I don't think it's a good idea. Sometimes I think he's more protective of me than my own father."

"I'll see what I can do. I could arrange to stay with friends or family in LA," he suggested, "or something."

"Really? That'd be...that'd be really sweet of you."

"Okay then, I'll try. I love you. Bye," Angel said, nearly kissing the mouthpiece of the phone but deciding against it after feeling that it would sound odd from the other end of the line.

"I..." Buffy started to say, but halted herself just in time. She still wanted it to be special. Not over the phone while they were both dressed in their pyjamas and half asleep. "I miss you. Bye."