It was the night before Christmas. And all hell was breaking loose. It had
started about ten minutes ago, when Janos had suggested a quiz to pass the
evening.
Ten minutes ago...
The vampires were gathered around a table.
Kain: Okay, since I'm so smart I would get every question right, I shall be the quizmaster. It's every man for himself, and I will supply the questions myself. Any questions?
Raziel: I thought you were supplying the questions yourself?
Kain: I can see you're not going to do well, Raziel.
Raziel: That rhymes.
Dumah: So you can recite poetry but I can't sing?
Kain: AHEM! If everyone would please be quiet I will begin. I will give you an easy one to start us off. Who is the ruler of Nosgoth?
Turel: Oh, I know this one... let me think...
Rahab: Em... who was it again? It's on the tip of my tongue...
Kain: It really is not difficult. It is not a trick question.
Raziel: I think this quiz is a little unfair. I mean, I was trapped down a well for all those years.
Turel: Um... do you remember HOW you got stuck down that well?
Raziel: Well, all I remember was that it was Kain's idea.
Turel: Yes, but before anyone could throw you in, you slipped. Isn't that right everyone? He wasn't tossed in at all. He fell. YOU ALL SAW IT I WAS NO-WHERE NEAR HIM!!! It was an accident. Yes, it was nothing to do with me at all.
Kain: Will someone please answer my question before I lose my temper?
Vorador: Can you give us a clue?
Kain: Well, he's standing in this room right now.
Everyone begins looking around the room.
Kain: Oh come on! Where's Magnus? I'm sure he knows the answer.
Janos: He's busy preparing some food and things for tomorrow.
Vorador: Another clue?
Kain: He's a vampire, he's standing here talking right now and he's very very handsome.
Rahab: Lord Turkey!
Kain: It's ME you simpletons! ME!
Vorador: Meyusimpletons? I've never heard of him.
Present time...
Kain: I, KAIN, am the ruler of Nosgoth!
Vorador: Ikainamtherulerofnosgoth? Kain, are you just making these answers up? If you don't know who the ruler is, you shouldn't have asked the question.
Kain screams.
Kain: I hate you all.
Janos: Perhaps we should have someone else as quizmaster.
Turel: ME! ME! I'm the number two quizmaster in all of Nosgoth. Okay, what's brown and sticky?
Zephon: A stick!
Turel: Well done, that's one point to Zephon.
Kain: Wait a minute, I wasn't ready. And that isn't a proper question, so it doesn't count.
Turel: Okay, I'll ask another then. What is my pet hamsters name?
Rahab: Dave!
Turel: Correct, that's one point to you Rahab.
Kain: NO NO NO! General knowledge questions only.
Turel: Hmm... who is the balance guardian?
Kain: Shit, I know this...
Vorador: It's Kain!
Turel: That is the correct answer.
Raziel: Bank!
Turel: Shut up Raziel.
Kain: No wait, that doesn't count because... Turel and Vorador are working together and cheating! Turel KNEW Vorador would know the answer to that.
Vorador: But YOU should have known the answer even more than me.
Kain: Piss off Vorador you little cheat, this quiz is over due to your conspiring ways. I am the winner.
Vorador: How the hell do you work that one out?
Kain stands up ready for a fight.
Kain: That's it, you're going DOWN!
Kain leaps on Vorador and starts punching his head, but Vorador rolls over and begins punching Kain.
Janos: My friends, violence is wrong!
Melchiah: No, wrong is wrong. Violence is violence.
Janos: Thanks for clearing that up.
Kain and Vorador are upright now, trying to blast each other into oblivion. After a while, Janos finally manages to break them up.
Kain: I'm going to get you after school. Your master won't be around to save you then.
Vorador: I'll get my un-dead creatures onto you.
Kain: Bring them! I'll kill them all you coward!
Janos: Enough of this petty bickering, both of you. Now say sorry and hug each other.
Kain: I won't apologize to the likes of him.
Vorador: I'm not apologizing to that bastard.
Janos: Fine, be that way. Maybe we should all go to bed.
Rahab: But we don't sleep at night!
Zephon: But if we don't sleep tonight, then Santa won't leave any presents for us!
Kain: Bed it is then.
The vampires all go to their rooms. Sadly there isn't enough room for everyone, and Kain's sons are all forced to share one bed.
Melchiah: If anyone ever mentions this to anyone, I will kill them.
Kain sleeps alone. He falls asleep quickly, but is soon woken by a strange presence in the room.
Ariel: I am the ghost of Christmas past.
Kain: No you're not, you're Ariel. What the hell are you doing here, you're not due until tomorrow?
Ariel: I've come to show you the error of your ways Kain.
Kain: Piss off, I'm trying to sleep.
Ariel: Come with me while I show you your past.
Kain: You don't need to show me it because I lived it. Well, in a way I didn't, but you know what I mean.
Ariel: Well, to cut a long story short, you're really mean and you should be nicer.
Kain: Piss off.
Ariel: Goodnight Kain.
Ten minutes ago...
The vampires were gathered around a table.
Kain: Okay, since I'm so smart I would get every question right, I shall be the quizmaster. It's every man for himself, and I will supply the questions myself. Any questions?
Raziel: I thought you were supplying the questions yourself?
Kain: I can see you're not going to do well, Raziel.
Raziel: That rhymes.
Dumah: So you can recite poetry but I can't sing?
Kain: AHEM! If everyone would please be quiet I will begin. I will give you an easy one to start us off. Who is the ruler of Nosgoth?
Turel: Oh, I know this one... let me think...
Rahab: Em... who was it again? It's on the tip of my tongue...
Kain: It really is not difficult. It is not a trick question.
Raziel: I think this quiz is a little unfair. I mean, I was trapped down a well for all those years.
Turel: Um... do you remember HOW you got stuck down that well?
Raziel: Well, all I remember was that it was Kain's idea.
Turel: Yes, but before anyone could throw you in, you slipped. Isn't that right everyone? He wasn't tossed in at all. He fell. YOU ALL SAW IT I WAS NO-WHERE NEAR HIM!!! It was an accident. Yes, it was nothing to do with me at all.
Kain: Will someone please answer my question before I lose my temper?
Vorador: Can you give us a clue?
Kain: Well, he's standing in this room right now.
Everyone begins looking around the room.
Kain: Oh come on! Where's Magnus? I'm sure he knows the answer.
Janos: He's busy preparing some food and things for tomorrow.
Vorador: Another clue?
Kain: He's a vampire, he's standing here talking right now and he's very very handsome.
Rahab: Lord Turkey!
Kain: It's ME you simpletons! ME!
Vorador: Meyusimpletons? I've never heard of him.
Present time...
Kain: I, KAIN, am the ruler of Nosgoth!
Vorador: Ikainamtherulerofnosgoth? Kain, are you just making these answers up? If you don't know who the ruler is, you shouldn't have asked the question.
Kain screams.
Kain: I hate you all.
Janos: Perhaps we should have someone else as quizmaster.
Turel: ME! ME! I'm the number two quizmaster in all of Nosgoth. Okay, what's brown and sticky?
Zephon: A stick!
Turel: Well done, that's one point to Zephon.
Kain: Wait a minute, I wasn't ready. And that isn't a proper question, so it doesn't count.
Turel: Okay, I'll ask another then. What is my pet hamsters name?
Rahab: Dave!
Turel: Correct, that's one point to you Rahab.
Kain: NO NO NO! General knowledge questions only.
Turel: Hmm... who is the balance guardian?
Kain: Shit, I know this...
Vorador: It's Kain!
Turel: That is the correct answer.
Raziel: Bank!
Turel: Shut up Raziel.
Kain: No wait, that doesn't count because... Turel and Vorador are working together and cheating! Turel KNEW Vorador would know the answer to that.
Vorador: But YOU should have known the answer even more than me.
Kain: Piss off Vorador you little cheat, this quiz is over due to your conspiring ways. I am the winner.
Vorador: How the hell do you work that one out?
Kain stands up ready for a fight.
Kain: That's it, you're going DOWN!
Kain leaps on Vorador and starts punching his head, but Vorador rolls over and begins punching Kain.
Janos: My friends, violence is wrong!
Melchiah: No, wrong is wrong. Violence is violence.
Janos: Thanks for clearing that up.
Kain and Vorador are upright now, trying to blast each other into oblivion. After a while, Janos finally manages to break them up.
Kain: I'm going to get you after school. Your master won't be around to save you then.
Vorador: I'll get my un-dead creatures onto you.
Kain: Bring them! I'll kill them all you coward!
Janos: Enough of this petty bickering, both of you. Now say sorry and hug each other.
Kain: I won't apologize to the likes of him.
Vorador: I'm not apologizing to that bastard.
Janos: Fine, be that way. Maybe we should all go to bed.
Rahab: But we don't sleep at night!
Zephon: But if we don't sleep tonight, then Santa won't leave any presents for us!
Kain: Bed it is then.
The vampires all go to their rooms. Sadly there isn't enough room for everyone, and Kain's sons are all forced to share one bed.
Melchiah: If anyone ever mentions this to anyone, I will kill them.
Kain sleeps alone. He falls asleep quickly, but is soon woken by a strange presence in the room.
Ariel: I am the ghost of Christmas past.
Kain: No you're not, you're Ariel. What the hell are you doing here, you're not due until tomorrow?
Ariel: I've come to show you the error of your ways Kain.
Kain: Piss off, I'm trying to sleep.
Ariel: Come with me while I show you your past.
Kain: You don't need to show me it because I lived it. Well, in a way I didn't, but you know what I mean.
Ariel: Well, to cut a long story short, you're really mean and you should be nicer.
Kain: Piss off.
Ariel: Goodnight Kain.