Disclaimer: I own Roxanne, Rafe, TF, the director, the red dragon named Sk8er Boi, Mallet-of-Anti-Cuteness©, Mallet-O-Anti-Broccoli© and the look of cute. Do see Inuyasha, Titanic, Jackass, Blockbuster, the song Sk8er Boi or Yu Yu Hakuso on that list? I thought not. I am also Animegurl.

Warning: Cursing, violence, and maybe some Yaoi in later installments! You maybe asking what Yaoi is? Simple, its guy/guy. So if you don't like any of them, don't read!

Dedicated to: Lady BlackDragonFire, Sita-chan, Doublemint Twins Envy, Ale- Bloody-Roses, and AoiHyou. (Read my inspirations at the bottom for an explanation)

Bishies- the Pilot Episode: Perverted hosts, the slap heard round the world and fairies.

A girl with pink eyes, candy apple green hair walks across the stage and sits down in a beanbag chair.

The girl with a perfect British accent: Hello, my name is Animegurl and you are watching.

Suddenly a small fox-like demon with purple fur runs in and starts screaming, in a perfect American accent "SHIPPOU, SHIPPOU, SHIPPOU!!!!!"

Animegurl: I'm sorry that's my insane demon co-host named Roxanne, she has a little obsession for Shippou from Inuyasha. Anyway you are watching "Bishies" with your host's me, Roxanne, and Rafe.

A guy with red hair (think Kurama's from Yu Yu Hakuso), that has yellow and orange streaks through it so it looks like fire, comes in and sits down in a big, comfortable light blue chair.

Rafe with a perfect idiotic male teenager accent: I'm bored, get the bishie in here.

Animegurl: *to Rafe* I will in a minute okay! *to the audience* This is the show where we take unsuspecting bishounen and force them to answer humiliating questions, such as "Would you do a threesome with your girlfriend and boyfriend?" and also make them do humiliating things. Oh also sometimes I become an insane fan girl, but that won't happen today because we have

Roxanne: My favorite bishie SHIPPOU!!!!!!!!!!! *starts playing with a tiny top*

Animegurl: Riiiight...uh minions bring in the prisoner..er.. guest. ^__^;;;;;;

Three foot tall, dust bunnies come in, drop Shippou and bunnie hop out.

Shippou: Where the fuck am I?

Roxanne: Shippo! Marry Me! *glomps Shippou and won't let go*

Animegurl: GET OFF THE GUEST RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rafe: Can we have Sesshomaru (From Inuyasha) on the next show?

Shippou: *currently dying from oxygen deprivation*

Animegurl: *prying Roxanne off of Shippou* We will now go to commercial break and when I get done killing my co-hosts we will see if Shippo is a perverted freak just like us! *to Rafe* Fuck off! *to Roxanne* GET OFF OF SHIPPOU!!! YOU DO WANT TO ASK HIM QUESTIONS DON'T YOU???

screen fades to black and a catchy jingle tune comes on and shows lots of shit that you don't need but you just have to buy because of their cute talking gerbil (HA! take that Blockbuster you fucked up store, you got rid of Dracula and Frankenstein so I'm going to make fun of your fucking store whenever I can!) and eventually you get back to the show.

Animegurl: Hello and welcome back to "Bishies" the show where we humiliate our favorite bishounen. I finally got Roxanne back into her cage and I'm going to interview Shippou because Rafe wandered off somewhere.

*Somewhere*

Rafe: So you're positive you can get me better co-hosts?

Mysterious masked figure: Yessss. Me am of almost certainly positive me cany.

Rafe: Good. *points to something off screen* Are those butterscotch candy canes? *back to the show*

Shippou is currently tied upside down over a shark tank with little wires all over him.

Animegurl: I have hooked Shippou up to the 'Machine that knows if you are telling lies" so whenever Shippou tells a lie, he lowers down from the ceiling one inch and also gets a nasty electric shock.

Roxanne: *picks the lock on the cage* Can I ask the first question please? *gives Animegurl big cute eyes and sniffles a little*

Animegurl: No, not the look of cute! Must. not ..give in.to.the.look of cute..for..the..sake..of..the audence.. *looks at Roxanne again* Okay! Fine ask the first question. *mutters under breath* damn look of cute..

Roxanne: Yay! Okay Shippou, do you ever fantasize about Sango and/or Kagome?

Shippou: No! I never.AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! *gets shocked and lowers closer to the shark tank*

Roxanne, Animegurl: OOOOHHHH! What was one of your fantasies?

Shippou: *mumbles something that can't be heard*

Roxanne: What was that?

Shippou: FINE, I ONCE FANTASIZED THAT KAGOME WAS FEEDING ME GRAPES IN A BIKINI!!!!!

Animegurl: That's it? In a bikini? That's not much less clothing then she wears on the show anyway.

Shippou: Now I'm going to get killed by Inuyasha because he and Kagome have...shit I wasn't supposed to say that.

Roxanne: What weren't you supposed to say!

Shippou: Why don't you ask Miroku whenever he comes on, he knows more than I do.

Animegurl: Note to self: try and get Miroku on ASAP.

Roxanne: Miroku? But he's like fifth or sixth on your list and last on my list (yes Miroku is way below broccoli head (Kuwabara, that is also how I will refer to him in future episodes), don't hurt me I hate broccoli head too. It's for the plot).

Animegurl: I know that! But would you rather learn about what's going on between Inuyasha and Kagome or would you rather have *looks at roster sheet* Hiei come on? HIEI?!?!?! *goes into rabid fan girl mode* HIEIHIEIHIEIHIEIHIEIHIEI!!!!!!!!!!*starts watching all the episodes of Yu Yu Hakuso she has taped and looks around for some spiker gel*

Roxanne: I would rather have Kuwabara on. *suddenly goes into daydream mode and starts drooling*

Animegurl: *stops abruptly and slaps Roxanne so hard that people in China stop and wonder where that sound came from* WHY DID YOU EVEN MENTION HIS NAME IN THIS STUDIO!!!!! THIS IS 'BISHIES'!!!!! YOU KNOW THE SHOW WHERE WE TORTURE HOTTIES FROM ANIME SHOWS! NOT IDIOTS WHO SHOULD NEVER BE WITHOUT A SHIRT ON A SHOW AT ALL TIMES!!!!!! DAMN BYAKKO FOR HIS FUCKING TIGER SCREAMS!!!!! *passes out from lack of breathing*

Roxanne: OW! *to the unconscious Animegurl* Kuwabara is worthy of being on 'Bishies'. *to everybody else* When we come back from commercial break I will eat chocolate off of Shippou!

Animegurl: *wakes up* Oh no you don't! And don't say broccoli head's name!!! *starts beating up Roxanne*

screen fades to black and you see the new action movie called "Quadruple S" and it has no story just a bunch of fighting scenes in zero gravity with a bald guy so its sure to be the next Titanic among teenage guys. Also you see a commercial that says Blockbuster has new shit in that you can get for half price, if you can find their little 1 by 1 coupon in the newspaper. And even if you find it still costs $500 to check out an old movie. eventually you get back to the show.

Animegurl: Welcome back to the last ten minutes of the show which, no doubt in editing they will delete to two minutes of show and eight minutes of commercials. Since commercial break we have brought down Shippou and have got him under a spell that makes him do what we want. So please thank our director for finding a temporary fairy, because we haven't been able to find any that don't want $10,000 a show. I mean we are the hosts and we only get $20 a show.

*director and TF (Temporary Fairy) come out in kilts, do a little two-step, and go back to their places off screen*

Roxanne: I want to go first please? *starts to do the look of cute*

Animegurl: *smacks her on the head with a Mallet-of-Anti-Cuteness©* No, you went first the last time. Besides, I have the perfect idea to torture him with. Unlike yours which, I'm guessing would to be to make him striptease in front of you.

Roxanne: Damn, how well do you know me?

Animegurl: I know you like to tape Jackass and watch it over and over again and have attemped at least 20 of their stunts. *to Shippou* I want you to.

Suddenly Rafe comes back from Somewhere with two very slutty teenagers and the Mysterious Masked Figure.

Mysterious masked figure: *turns into a gigantic snake*

Rafe: Animegurl, Roxanne, please get off my set before I set this very large mysterious masked snake that has very bad grammar (1) on you.

Roxanne: *in a Scottish accent and also has blue war make up on with a kilt* Never, you can take away our set but you can never take away me SHIPPOU!

Animegurl: That has nothing to do with saving the set. *rolls eyes*

Roxanne: *starts glomping Shippou as if the end of the world is coming* I know that but, did you know that Rafe is gay?

Animegurl: Rafe is gay?!?! That would mean he would steal all the bishounen and make them work hard labor in more skimpy outfits then the girls in anime! That's not a bad idea... but, first I must save the set! *Starts changing into her demon form*

Roxanne: We forgot to tell you, that Animegurl is an animal demon and can control any animal. She can also change into any animal. I'm also a fire demon that has control over. you guessed it fire!

Animegurl: *has changed into a wolf with green fur and dark pink eyes. Starts to attack the snake* Blood Slashing Teeth! *misses snake*

Roxanne: Blazing Inferno! *misses the snake and gets eaten along with Animegurl*

Rafe: Ha! Now Shippo is going to work for me along with other male hotties! *starts cackling*

Director: *whispers to TF* We should do something before I get fired.

TF: *whispers back* I shall save the show! *goes out and speaks normally to Rafe* Please release the hosts.

Rafe: I'm the last host of this show that is not being digested by VLMMSTHWVBG (1). So I should be the one to inherit it!

TF: I hate to do this. *whips out super-sized wand and points it at the VLMMSTHWVBG* Exploding Wind!

VLMMSTHWVBG: Oh sssssshit. *spits hostesses out right before he blows up*

TF: *speaks to Roxanne and Animegurl* You take care of Rafe and I'll send the whore's back where they came from. *points wand at ho's and they are sent back to Sluts Vegas*

Animegurl: Bone Crunching Glomp! *attacks Rafe*

Roxanne: Blood Boiling Fire! *attacks Rafe*

Rafe: *dies a horrible, bloody and painful death*

Animegurl: *starts changing back into a human*

Roxanne: That was fun. I think I might be a sadist. *starts cackling*

Animegurl: Yeah but, there is only one problem. We need a replacement for Rafe.

Roxanne: *stops cackling* Oh yeah. But, our fairy problem is solved. *to TF* Do you want to be our full-time fairy? That's the closest you're going to get to a thank you.

Animegurl: Yeah, Roxanne and I don't get along very well with thank you's, apologizes, work, teachers, or broccoli heads. *shivers*

Roxanne: Speak for yourself! I love Kuwabara! *starts daydreaming again*

Animegurl: *hits her with Mallet-O-Anti-Broccoli©* Stop doing that!

Permanent Fairy: Okay. You can call me..Wait! I don't know my name!

Animegurl: We'll think of something by the next episode. The next episode will have everyone's favorite fire demon from Yu Yu Hakuso HIEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *starts hyperventilating*

Roxanne: We will come back when we can get Animegurl out of rabid fan girl mode. *looks at Animegurl* Which that could be a while.

Shippou: *has been forgotten*

PF: So until next time see ya!!! *waves wand around and a red dragon named Sk8er Boi comes in*

Sk8er Boi: *picks up everybody and flys them away* *Credits start playing*

Credits

Hosts: Animegurl, Roxanne, and the late-very-not-dear-to-our-hearts Rafe. Director: Director that needs a name Stage Fairy: Permanent Fairy that needs a name Camera Man: Camera Man that needs a name Stage Hands: Stage Hands that need names Producer: Producer that needs a name Guest: Shippou Special Guests: Mysterious Masked Figure, and slutty ho's Mascot: Sk8er Boi

A/N: I need ideas for the next shows. I also need a guest/permanent host to help, well..host. Please just state your name, what you look like, if you're a human or demon, any pets/muses you have, any bishies from Inuyasha/Outlaw Star/Yu Yu Hakuso you love and your personality. If you hate Broccoli Head and love Hiei, I will probably let you host. I also need ideas for torture, and questions to ask the guests. You are more than welcome to make up minions. You may not use any of the characters/items/demons/look of cuteness, unless you beg and grovel to me. Even then I might not let you use them. I also need a beta reader, even though I might not use him/her. I'm also sorry for not having a more hotter bishounen on the show today. I wanted to save the good ones for later. Also I will appreciate any constructive criticism, and I will not care if I get flamed. Even though if you flame me, I might flame you back because my tape screwed up last Saturday and wouldn't tape Yu Yu Hakuso, so I only got to see Hiei shirtless.er. robeless once (I'm so glad I stayed up and watched Hiei). Just warning you. You saw what I did to Rafe..*throws bloody body at reviewers* If you review, I'll also let you pick your favorite shirtless bishies from my collection. Trust me, I won't run out for two reasons. 1: I have a lot of shirtless bishies, and 2: I really don't expect to get any reviews so the three hours I wasted on this story was probably in vain. Also I only have shirtless MALE bishies, no female shirtless bishies for all you perverts out there. Even though there are probably only 3 BILLION perverts out there, so no worry about one finding my story since its not rated NC-17. No my story is just rated R for language, adult content, and violence in future shows. Oh, wait. All of that was in this episode! I would also like to thank my inspirations. They are as follows: Lady BlackDragonFire, for writing kick ass stories and inspiring me to do the same (Lady BDF if you're reading this, PLEASE UPDATE Capture and Date Bishies SOON!!!!); Sita-chan, who also writes kick ass stories and gave me the idea for doing a talk show (Sita-chan if you read this, I hope you get your new story out soon!); Doublemint Twins Envy, for writing back my reviews, for hating Kuwabara with me, and for giving me the feeling of what's its like to have people know you're alive (Doublemint Twins Envy, if you are reading this thank you for updating!); Ale-Bloody-Roses, for giving me ideas from her story (No, I did not copy any of her ideas!); and for AoiHyou, who just has funny stories and I thought she should be included. Why? Because she keeps killing off Kuwabara *authoress does a little jig and starts chanting 'Kill the broccoli. I hate broccoli.'*(AoiHyou, if you end up reading this, will you please let me help kill Kuwabara next time you kill him off?) I hope all of you have more successful stories, and if some small chance this story get you more reviewers. I'm sorry for wasting your precious time by rambling on and on and on. Please R&R and please read all those authoresses I mentioned above stories. I will also update when I actually get more ideas..and a new host/hostess. ^__^;;;;; ( That is my favorite face to type. ^__^;;;;; Sorry, random thoughts are fun! OOOOHHHH! BUTTER!!! I also know that this story is under Yu Yu Hakuso, but we didn't have a character from the show on. That's because I forgot what catergory I was going to put it under. ^__^;;;;; ( Doesn't any body else love that face!?!?!?