Goth Talk
By Lady Trunks
I came up with this idea after the SNL Halloween episode and decided to do another Halloween Rietro fanfic. The idea and name Goth Talk is from Saturday Night Live. The only thing I own is… well nothing. This one a lot different than my usual style. I was aiming for funny, but I think it sunk to stupid and stayed there.
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*Scene opens to reveal Rogue and Kitty setting on a black couch in a black room both dressed in you guessed it, black. In addition both girls are wearing thick Goth makeup*
Rogue: Are you ready Evan?
Evan: Ready. Kitty?
Kitty: *frowning* Like, why am I hear again?
Rogue: You are here because you are my friend and Risty couldn't be here. Now SHUT UP AND SAY YOU ARE READY.
*Kitty suddenly finds a very angry Rogue towering over her*
Kitty: *squeaks* Ready
Evan: Okay, we're rolling.
*Rogue is back in her chair staring at the camera her face expressionless through the thick white makeup*
Rogue: *In a slightly creepy voice* Greeting fellow dark souls. Today is a special episode
Kitty: Isn't this the only episode?
*Rogue gives her an malicious look that shuts her up*
Rogue: Today is a special episode for the horrendously spectacular day All Hallows' Eve.
Kitty: *with puzzled expression* I thought it was Halloween.
Rogue: IT IS!! Now to help us with this special episode we have a special guest, the unspeakably horrendous Pietro.
*Camera points at the door and Pietro walks in (yes he walks). However his hair is dyed black except for his bangs and he is dressed all in black and wearing Goth makeup*
Evan: *from behind the camera* What is he doing here?!
Pietro: I get to be on TV and become a celebrity for girls to drool over. Plus Rogue said she'd go out with me afterwards. For you my Gothic Hottie
*Pietro smirks and hands Rogue a bag of candy and hides a bag with a piece of toilet paper hanging out behind the couch. Rogue accepts the bag from him with a roll of her eyes*
Rogue: You mugged a kid again and stole their candy didn't you.
Pietro: THEY STARTED IT!!!
*Rogue notices something white and foamy on his sleeve*
Rogue: What's that?
*Pietro quickly covers it up*
Pietro: Nothing. Aren't we filming?
*Rogue suddenly seems to remember that and turns back to the camera*
Rogue: Now Pietro, how do you usually celebrate Halloween?
Pietro: Well, me and the others go over and toilet paper the X mans… Um, I mean we take a bag and fill it with dog excrement and light it on fire and throw it on Principal Kelly's… What I meant was that we go find kids and knock them down and take…
Rogue: *sarcasm heavy in her voice* Yes, that's delightful Pietro. Thank you so much. *voice returns to normal* As you all know All Hallows' Eve…
Kitty: Halloween
*Kitty receives another glare from a rapidly angering Rogue*
Rogue: Halloween is the day wh…
*A loud knock interrupts this*
Rogue: *absolutely livid* WHAT???!!!!!!!!!!
Logan: *opens the door* Phone call for the half-pint. *Takes in the room and just shakes his head and mutters about crazy kids after he hands Kitty the phone and leaves*
Rogue: As I was saying, All Hallows' Eve is the day where spirits rise from the gra…
Kitty: *talking on the phone* Oh, Lance you're to sweet
*Rogue grits her teeth and raises her voice*
Rogue: Rise from the grave to walk among the living. As such th…
*Kurt bamfs into the room*
Kurt: What are you all doing?
*Rogue pulls a huge roll of gauze out of nowhere and completely covers him in a matter of seconds*
Rogue: *with an evil smile on her face* And that viewers is how you make a mummy costume.
Pietro: *In between stuffing candy in his mouth* ThatwasprettygoodRogueyYouwerefastNotnearlyasfastasmebutfastnonetheless.
Rogue: *self suffering sigh* As I was saying, these spirits…
*The door suddenly swings open and a furious Scott enters*
Scott: Do any of you know who toilet papered my car? When I found out who did it I'm going to…
Pietro: IthinkitwasEvan
*Everyone turns to look at Evan who is now holding the bag that Pietro had hid behind the couch. Pietro just looks on innocently from the couch*
Evan: Hey, how did that get there? *Looks inside and groans* I swear I didn't do it man.
*Looks up to find Scott advancing on him and takes off out the door throwing the bag in the air from which a roll of toilet paper falls out. He is immediately followed by the enraged Senior*
Rogue: As I was saying…
Pietro: HeyRoguey.
*Looks over at where Pietro is bouncing up and down hyperly on his seat from a sugar high.
Rogue: *forcing herself to remain calm* Yes Pietro.
Pietro: WellnowthatEvan'sgonethereisnoonetorunthecamera
Rogue: (*&@&(*$@&(@&$@($&(@&$(@&$(@&$(@
*Pietro's eyes widen at the words*
Pietro: WowRogueyIneverknewyounewthatmanycusswords *his voice was filled with respect*
*Rogue slumps back into the chair in defeat. Pietro just races around the room in circles while Kitty just continues to talk on the phone obliviously. After a few minutes Rogue stands up*
Rogue: I'm leaving. I have to go destroy something. You coming Speedy?
Pietro: OfcourseI'mcomingmybeatutifulbabe.IknowletsgoovertoPrincipalKelly'shouseandleavehimapresent. And wecanfindmorekidswithcandyandeatitall.Itwillbefun.
*The two exit the room leaving Kitty on the phone. 30 minutes later she hangs up and looks around*
Kitty: Hey where is everybody?
*Fade to Black*
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Was that not the stupidest waste of time you have ever read?? But tell me what you think just because. I hope it was a little bit funny at least?? Or maybe not. Please review. They inspire me. *subtle hint* Special thanks to all those that reviewed Halloween Havoc, especially Geministarz who happens to be one of my favorite Rietro authors.
P.S. I'm working on the sequel to Just Our Little Secret, called Can You Keep A Secret. (Got a theme going down.) It's at 11 pages and growing but I hope to finish it soon. It kinda took on a mind of it's own. I might decide to make it into a Series of sorts. Not a chapter story, because I have a rule about that (can't post a single chapter until the story is complete, rule made because of my short attention span)
But anyways. Happy Halloween everyone.