Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Please don't sue.
When Harry came back to the Weasley's shop the next day, he found that everyone was very secretive about what they were developing. Hermione in particular made sure that no one had any clue what she was doing. All Harry knew was she was charming a sort of badge. Ron appeared to be working on a fudge, and Harry had the suspicion that he must be doing a partial transfiguration, like the Canary Creames.
Harry sat by himself, wondering what he should do. He couldn't come up with anything, and found his mind wandering. Well, he mused, what great pranks have been done before? There was the dungbomb attack, but Fred and George have already done that. And every week it seemed like they turned some hapless Gryffindor first year into an animal with their various creames and toffees. Heck, they've done just about every prank in Gryffindor. If it wasn't for Hermione's stunt last year…
"That's it!" Harry said out loud, and began working on his new idea; a two chambered item of pure chaos.
Harry couldn't wait until Friday, where they would all show off their ideas. Fred and George seemed to sense his excitement, and decided to do his last. Ron went first, and Harry was slightly disappointed. It was a piece of chocolate which turned the eater into a Niffler. While it was an impressive transfiguration, that type of prank had already been done before by the twins. "I call it the Niffler Nougat!" Ron said, excitedly. Fred and George simply nodded, and wrote something down on a piece of parchment.
Lavender and Parvati went second and third, although they appeared to have approached the task without enthusiasm. Harry felt a little sorry for them, since jokes and pranks really weren't their thing to begin with. Seamus showed off a little gadget which turned a person's skin different colors, and Harry was reminded of his fake duel with Terry Boot during the summer.
Dean Thomas demonstrated his product, which appeared to be a plain black cube. Fred and George leaned forward and asked, "Ok Dean, what does the box do?"
Dean smiled and said, "It's an Irish Drinking Song Generator. Simply say 'Skolion' and the subject you want. For instance… 'Skolian Dumb Slytherins!'"
Immediately, the box grew a pair of lips and began singing:
Oh… Aye-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di
Oh, Aye-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di
There was a house at Hogwarts
Which attracted all the creeps
Slytherin was its name and
Within imperfection sleeps
For not all at Hogwarts are smart
No, many daft people come
And are sorted into Slytherin
Because they're incredibly dumb!
Oh, Aye-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di
Oh, Aye-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di!
The whole class was rolling on the shop floor laughing, and several people apparently had problems getting enough air. When Fred and George finally stopped laughing, they asked, "So it'll do a song on anything?"
Dean beamed and nodded. George grew a sly grin and asked, "Anything?"
The question had an undertone of extreme mischievousness, and Dean's smile slipped a little before he said, "Yes."
George whispered into Fred's ear; Fred immediately broke out in laughter. Before anyone could ask what they were thinking, George called out with a snigger, "Skolion Ronnekins deep love for Hermione!"
"NNOOOO!!" shouted Ron, but the black box yet again created a pair of lips.
Oh… Aye-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di
Oh, Aye-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di
Ron at this point was furiously shouting at the black box. He had to be restrained and muffled by Lavender and Parvati, who obviously wanted to hear the song. Hermione, Harry would swear, was trying not to smile. In any case, the commotion caused by Ron was not loud enough to cover the song.
Ronniekins was a timid man
Not a brave man, was he.
He wouldn't tell Hermione
About his love you see.
He waited more than a whole year
To tell her how he felt
That when he was around her
His insides would simply melt.
Oh, Aye-de-…
The rest of the ending couldn't be heard, though, over Ron's yells and the class's laughter. After the commotion died down, at least ten minutes later, Hermione got up, second to last to show off her idea. Harry was a little anxious, and noticed several other people sitting forward as well. Hermione had been completely secretive, and nobody had the slightest inkling of what she had done.
"It's a truth translator!" she said happily.
Fred and George looked a little puzzled, and Fred finally asked, "It's a what? What does it do?"
Hermione beamed and said, "It tells you what the other person really means. Here, let me show you." Hermione flicked a little switch on the front and looked expectantly at the twins.
George looked at his brother with a frown and said, "Well, I don't know if that's really that useful."
Hermione's badge immediately spoke up in George's voice, "That's got to be the dumbest idea I've ever heard!"
Hermione grinned, and said, "See?!"
Her badge decided to translate that to, "What was so hard to understand about 'Truth-Translator', anyway?"
Fred and George grinned a little, and Fred said, "Wow, that's actually pretty neat."
The badge shortly uttered, "It's not as stupid as I thought!"
Hermione smiled even wider and said, "I'm glad you saw the potential."
However, the badge shocked them all and said, "I'm glad you're not both as dumb as you look." Hermione blushed furiously, and angrily flicked off the gadget. Fred and George supported each other while they laughed to the verge of tears.
When Fred and George came to, Harry said, "I think we should go outside for mine." Harry cradled in his arms his contraption. It had two spheres the size of coconuts, attached together with a cylinder.
"Well," Fred asked, excited, "what does it do?" as the group walked outside.
Harry explained, "The first chamber conjures a material. Then the material is pumped into the second chamber, where it has Alteration Prevention spells placed on it. Finally, the second chamber pumps the material into the outside environment. But it does this really fast – about 500 liters a second."
George quickly asked, "What material?"
Harry grinned and said, "Just watch." He then placed the apparatus on the ground and walked a large distance away from it. Everyone was slightly confused, and Harry yelled, "Hermione's Wrath!"
Suddenly, the object began pouring bogies all around at incredible volumes. Within a few seconds, everyone in the class besides Harry was covered to their knees. As the material began to flow down the street about a meter high, Fred howled with laughter and yelled, "You better stop this, Harry, or we'll be run out of town!"
Harry laughed and yelled, "Lee Jordan pleads." The flow of bogies from the object stopped, but half the town was coated in the substance. A few shop owners were poking their heads out the windows, and Rosmerta began cursing at them from a block away.
Harry laughed again, and called, "Lee Jordan relents." Hermione laughed as well, followed by the majority of the Gryffindors, as the Bogies suddenly disappeared. Harry walked back over to the device, picked it up, and set it in Fred's arms.
The Weasley twins looked at the object in awe, and George finally said, "Alright! You all did really well! We'll make some decisions, and see if we can wrangle some points for Gryffindor for each design we keep!"
Everyone looked extremely happy, and the class made their way back to Hogwarts.
Ron groaned as they quartet made their way back to the library. "I really missed this," he said sarcastically, "All that time we spent in Hogsmead, we could have been in here, reading old books!"
Hermione didn't seem to pick up on his sarcasm, and said, "You're absolutely right!"
Ron grimaced; Harry and Ginny simply laughed. However, Hermione finally called out, "I FOUND IT!"
The other three quickly made their way, and Hermione thrust before them, "Ministry record keeping operations: 1600-1700"
Harry was confused, and asked, "What does the Obsidian Tome have to do with Ministry record keeping?"
Hermione turned to page 192 and pointed to the third paragraph. Harry, Ginny, and Ron obligingly read it.
March 13, 1683: Due to the dangers inherent in the artifact known as the Obsidian Tome, the ministry took measures to prevent its use ever again. However, the Tome appeared to be protected with a powerful magic, and no wizard could destroy it. Ministry officials were forced to take a more drastic approach. The tome was hidden, and orders of any mention of the tome, even in passing, were to be erased. Although the Obsidian Tome still exists, it is hoped that it will never be found.
"That's it?" cried Ron, obviously disappointed.
"No, it makes sense," Harry said. "Obviously the Obsidian Tome is something very powerful or very evil, and the ministry felt they couldn't risk it falling into the wrong hands. They hid it, deleted any record of its existence, and made sure they didn't put any information about where it was."
"But there's one obvious question then," Hermione responded, "How does Voldemort plan to find it?"
Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny threw back suggestions all that week about how Voldemort planned to find the tome. The only one that made any sense was Ron's guess that Voldemort must have some book that escaped the Ministry's attention. It certainly seemed more likely than Harry's idea that Voldemort must have used a powerful time-turner.
Harry finally gave up thinking about it, and fell asleep. He mentally gasped as Voldemort swam into his vision. Harry looked closely, and noticed that Padma looked almost exactly like Voldemort. The only signs that the figure was originally Pamda were a few locks of hair and a slight hint of color around the cheeks. Harry finally noticed that Voldemort was angry, although it didn't surprise him since Harry's dreams always started by Voldemort's anger.
"You idiot!" Voldemort cried, "All records have been burned – of course you didn't find anything! The Obsidian Tome is not meant to be found by a book!" Harry growled in frustration as Voldemort closed his eyes and felt the dream slip a little. NO! screamed Harry, Don't end it again. I need to see what you're up to!
However, Voldemort seemed to have something else in mind, and took a hesitant step to the right. Harry grew confused, and Voldemort slowly started walking, his eyes still closed. Harry watched, with what rapidly approached boredom – Voldemort was taking a slow stroll through the countryside. However, Voldemort suddenly stopped and hissed, "It's directly below us."
How?! Harry wondered, How does Voldemort know? A death eater asked, "How are we supposed to get it?"
Harry reflected that it was a rather stupid question to ask, and Voldemort screamed, "Dig, you fool!" Harry grew bored again, as the Death Eaters magically digged for a long time, creating a huge hole in the ground and eventually hit rock.
"My lord, we have hit rock. What do you want us to do?"
Voldemort turned on the death eater and hissed, "Keep on digging. It is not much further."
One of the death eaters in the hole was sweating, and called out, "There's nothing here! Why are we doing this?!"
Voldemort quickly drew his wand and yelled, "Crucio!" Harry trembled in pain; this was far worse than Voldemort's earlier attempt at the cruciatus curse within his dreams. Harry suddenly awoke. He did so without screaming, but his scar twitched in mild pain.
"How?" Harry whispered to himself. How did Voldemort know where to go? He seemed to just sense the book. Harry experimentally closed his eyes, and opened his mind. As he was about to remark about how stupid this seemed, he felt a tiny prick in his mind. He quickly redoubled his efforts, and could sense a faint darkness in the distance.
Harry breathed deep, and tried to mentally approach the anomaly. He suddenly gasped in anguish; the darkness rushed towards him and it felt like he was being invaded by evil itself. Harry shook himself, but he still felt cold deep within him. Even after a long shower, Harry still felt a little unclean, but didn't have the faintest clue why. In the commotion, however, it completely slipped his mind to talk to Dumbledore about it.
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Alright! I added the Irish Drinking song by request. Oh, and, er, sorry about going off about reviews. I'm a jerk.
Oh, something I noticed about FF.net and the chapters within stories. You see, when you add a new chapter, ff.net has to go in and change the .HTML for every chapter in the story (to get the chapter selection pulldown menu correct). Sometimes, it takes awhile for the changes to take place. The best way around this is to change the '&chapter=x' number in the URL bar. For instance, if chapter 12 isn't showing up in the pulldown menu, or the 'next chapter' button isn't there at chapter 11, try changing the URL. NOTE: try going to another chapter besides the first. That way, the '&chapter=x' section will show up.
Anyway, if you have problems with this, send me an e-mail at kevinericweber@yahoo.com
Suzanne: Hmmmm…. I might have to add a scene about McGonagall's breakdancing. Maybe I could have Dumbledore show her a picture he was sent from the headmaster of Durmstrang… You brought up a good point about Black (in a way). I probably should've put a scene in there with Trelawney seeing Black, instead of just the start and conclusion. Hmmm….
Kaelli: Same as above – I might have to add a scene later coming back to McGonagall's success on the dance floor. Well, the mystery of the Tome is still trickling out – but don't worry, the tome's purpose will come clear soon. Obviously Voldemort now has it, and it's not likely he's going to use it as bedtime reading…
AllAboutMe: Er, I magicked them there. I don't know, ff.net can be finicky.
Ariel: hopefully the note above will help. If all else fails, give me an e-mail address and I can e-mail the chapter to you.
Temporary Insanity: Yeah, I know I'm posting real fast. But it was a choice between getting it done by the 20th, or putting in a 3 week gap during the climax of the story. I decided to spare everyone. About killing people in my story, I can't tell you! Well, I can tell you this: one of the major canon students will die…
Seifer: Great, now I feel I let everyone down. Everyone wanted to see Trelawney get what was coming to her, and I only put the start and end in. Hmmm… maybe I should put a scene where Sirius tells Harry what exactly happened.
Garina: Well, you now know, well, still nothing about the Obsidian Tome. Don't worry, it's coming…
Penda: Arg, another Grim/Snuffle request. I'll look into my planned plot and see if I can throw it in somehow. About Malfoy – I think he's doing remarkably well (except for the fact he's trying to get an immortal being killed). The ministry doesn't believe he's guilty – he successfully claimed he was under the imperius curse. Fudge even brought him up to the top box at the Goblet of Fire Quidditch World Cup. Also, it doesn't matter how many of Lucius's followers are killed by aurors, as long as Voldemort is taken out by them, his power can only increase, as he would be the leader of every evil wizard in England.
Anyways, sorry I went off last posting. Please Review!