Chapter 14 - The Nature of the Key
Another day in the land of those who work for a living. It's a new experience for me. As a vampire, right up until I got the chip, my motto was simply want, take. It was difficult after that, but I still took what I needed when I could. Then, when I was human, I was a gentleman. Gentlemen didn't work for a living. I mean, being 'in trade' was to imply you didn't belong. Not that I sat back and let the world happen around me. There were duties. There were things I simply had to do, especially after father died. His responsibilities fell to me.
It's only day two at Sunnydale High School, and already I feel I've been here forever. The layout of the school is scorched into my brain. I haven't had anything too severe to deal with yet. One kid with a knife he didn't actually intend to use, but I spotted him showing his friends on one of my monitors. There's the usual pilfering too, but I haven't spotted who yet. I will. I've done too much pilfering myself not to spot it.
I've kept out of my office a lot today. I mean, I've been back, but only when I think Buffy will be busy. I'm avoiding her. I know. I'm a coward. But she looks at me, not with hatred, but with something I can't understand, and I can't cope with it. Hatred I can understand. Anything else might be hurt or confusion, or pain, and I can't bring myself to study her long enough to work out which.
Towards the end of the day there's a note on my desk. Apparently Giles is back, and he's convened a meeting at the Magic Box at eight, and he wants me there. Probably planning to stake me, or at least tell me to get out of Sunnydale. It doesn't hurt any less because I know I deserve it.
I consider not going. I think of the possibility of having to spend some time in the same room as Buffy, having to look at the pain I caused, and I'm desperate to find a reason not to go. But I haven't got one, and I know it.
So, eight o'clock finds me outside the Magic Box. I stand with my hand on the door for a few seconds before finally opening it. There's no one sitting at the research table which seems to have been reinstated towards the back of the shop. The shop is an empty shell, and I think back to what Clem told me about what happened after I left. I deserted my girls, and I almost lost them both. Anya is there, looking through some catalogues, and as the door opens, Giles walks in from what was Buffy's training room, followed by Willow.
"Spike, I'm glad you came. Sit down, I'm sure Buffy will be here soon." I do as he asked, sitting at the edge of my chair and Willow comes to sit beside me. She looks as uncomfortable as I feel, and I give her a half smile which she returns. Anya joins us, looking entirely comfortable, and this only serves to make Willow and I look less so.
"Spike, it's good to see you. How've you been? You wouldn't believe the stories I've heard about you. Well, you know what the demon world's like. You just can't keep a secret!"
At that moment, the door opens again and Buffy and Dawn walk in. They are greeted by Giles who follows them to the table. I'm flanked by Willow and Anya, so I end up more or less opposite the two Summers sisters. I sneak a look at Dawn, and she smiles warmly at me. She elbows Buffy, and she looks up from the table. She smiles shyly, and goes back to looking down.
Giles clears his throat, and we all look his way. "I thought it would be a good idea to get together tonight, because of some information I came across while I was in England. But, before I get into that, I'd like Spike to tell us what happened to him. I don't know, but I think it might be relevant."
They're all looking at me, expectantly, even Buffy. I concentrate on the Watcher, keeping my eyes on his as I start to speak.
"The night I left, something happened. I did something I didn't think I could do. I hurt Buffy." I pause at that point, the memories still too vivid to be able to go on immediately. While I pause, the door opens again, and Xander lumbers in. He looks around the table, giving me a look of intense dislike, then shifts his gaze to my left, and Anya.
"What's she doing here?" he asks. His finger is pointing at her. Anya bristles as only she can. "Giles asked me to be here. And that's only right, since I'm going back to managing the store when it's ready to reopen."
"But, she's a demon!" Xander ignores Anya's words, and continues to talk to Giles. "That is certainly true," he agrees, "but it is also beside the point. Anya's information has often proved invaluable in the past, and I believe it may do so again. You have a choice. Either sit down and listen, or leave. I must ask you to decide quickly, so we can get on."
This is obviously not what Xander expected, so he sits down, looking bewildered and hurt. I almost feel sorry for him. Almost. After what he did to Anya, he deserves to hurt a bit.
The eyes return to me, and I try to continue. "As I was saying, I hurt Buffy. I didn't think I could, but I did. But, the thing is, I was confused. If I had been a man, I wouldn't have been able to hurt her like that. But, as a demon, I shouldn't have stopped when I knew I was hurting her. I realised I was nothing. I was neither man nor demon. I was so sorry about what I'd done, that I thought I'd lose my mind. But, despite that, the demon inside me was raging to finish what I'd started."
I stop and take a deep breath. This is harder than I thought it would be, and I never thought it'd be a picnic. "I had heard of something. A demon. In Africa. I'd heard he could grant wishes. I went, and asked him for a soul. I thought, if I had a soul, I'd be back on one side of the divide, not stuck on the fence any more. Anyway, to cut a long story short, there were some trials, but I passed. He gave me a soul."
I remember the physical pain of the trials, but I know my hand's starting to shake not because of that, but because of the memory of what followed. "He gave me a soul, and I started to feel regret, not just for what I'd done to Buffy, but to everyone I'd ever hurt. It built up, became overpowering, and then there was nothing. My body turned to dust, but, somehow I was there to see it. Don't exactly understand what happened." I glance away from the Watcher to look at Anya, Willow and Dawn. They're all looking at me intently, and I see .. is that understanding? I glance at Xander, and I see disbelief. He looks like he wants to object, but he's keeping quiet. I look at Buffy, and she's not looking at me. She's looking down, but her cheeks are wet. She's crying at the memory of me hurting her, I know she is, and it cuts through me. I have to take several deep breaths before I can continue.
"Anyway, after a while, I'm on a beach. I've got a body of sorts, and I meet this girl. Little girl. And she tells me some things. She gives me the choice of going back as something different or not going back at all. I didn't want to go back. I reckoned I'd done enough harm already, but she said if I didn't go back, something would happen to Dawn. So, I agreed."
Another pause. The next part isn't going to go down well, but I've got to say it. "She told me I'd be like Buffy's been since she came back. Not human, but not so different that you can tell easily. She told me that I would be able to survive on human food, but that blood would help me heal more quickly. That I would live far longer than a human, but she didn't say I would be immortal. She set me up with a flat and a job - a whole past. I woke up some time after that, and found the offer of the job at the school in my mailbox."
Giles had been listening, his face expressionless while I spoke. Sensing that my story was complete, he started to question me. "Are you quite sure about the reason for you coming back? It was definitely to do with Dawn."
I nod, sneaking a look at the Bit. Her eyes are looking moist, but she's smiling. She's smiling at me, even though she knows I hurt her sister. I thought I'd lose that - her friendship. "Yeah, that's the only reason I came back. She said it would take both Buffy and me to keep her safe."
The silence of the next couple of seconds is broken by Anya. "Well, well. The rumours were true! I mean, I didn't really believe them. They sounded so improbable. Do you know what sort of demon you are? Because, I don't recognise it. I've seen just about every species there is, and I've never heard of one like you describe."
I look at the vengeance demon, and smile at her. Her sadness is so much a part of her, that I can't help but feel it, but she's hiding it well. There's no way Harris would know she still loves him. "She never gave me a name. And, I've never heard of anything like me," I look over at Buffy, realising fully for the first time the import of what I've said. "Like us, before."
I knew it was too good to last. Xander pushes his chair away from the table, his body is tense, ready to fight. "Don't tell me you believe him? All that about Buffy not being human? I mean, the rest of it is hardly believable. There's no way he'd have gotten himself a soul. How often have you heard him talking about Angel's soul? He knew that it took Angel what, fifty years before he could deal with a soul. He wouldn't do it." To my amazement, it's Buffy who answers Xander. "You're wrong, Xander. It's exactly the sort of thing Spike would do. He's not one for half measures. The first time he tried to make me admit I cared for him, he chained me up and offered to kill Drusilla for me. And, after what I said to him, the way I treated him, it's exactly what he would do. I just don't know why I didn't realise it before."
The last few words she said were broken, like she was trying to hold back tears. I glance up, and I see Dawn putting her arm around her sister's shoulders, but she's looking at me.
Giles allows silence to reign for a short while, cleaning his glasses before speaking again. "I think I may be able to shed some light on the type of demon we're talking about, but I would prefer to start my story at the beginning."
Xander stands up. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I want some evidence. I want some proof that he's got a soul, and that Buffy's not human, and I'm not going to believe him otherwise."
To my surprise, Giles nods. "I suspected you might feel that way. Willow?" Willow opens her mouth to speak for the first time. "G..Giles warned me we might need proof. I've got something I can do. I can't prove the soul- having thing, but I can do a test to see if Buffy is human."
"Giles," Xander interrupts. "You can't ask her to do that. It's not fair." Dawn seems disturbed at the prospect too. She's gone pale, and is gripping Buffy's arm in what must be a painful grasp.
"I assure you," Giles says calmly, "that the spell involved here is completely safe. During her time in England, Willow has been working on reconnecting with the earth roots of pure magic, white magic. The spell she has in mind is completely true to those roots. It will simply recognise those of us around the table who are of the earth, that is, human. The others, it will ignore."
He turns to Willow, and she nods her acknowledgement. "As Giles said, there is no danger with this spell. I . I know I was wrong before, and it's been hard not using the dark magic, and I know I've still got a long way to go, but this .. this is ok. Honestly. Giles wouldn't let me do it if he wasn't comfortable." At that point she looks straight at Dawn. "I .. I know you haven't got much reason to trust me, but I'm not asking that, not yet. For now, trust Giles."
No one speaks, but the tension in the room goes down significantly. When she senses the acceptance, Willow continues. "It's quite a simple spell, really. I've got some earth here. Not just any earth, it's been specially purified and blessed, and I'm going to sprinkle a little of it over each of us. Then I'll say the incantation - it's just a couple of words - and those of us who are human should glow slightly as the earth recognises its own."
She stands up, and goes around the table, sprinkling a little of the powdered earth over each of us in turn, finishing with herself. She returns to her own place at the table, next to me, and says two words I don't catch. The effect is slow at first. Then I see it. Giles, Willow, and Xander are all glowing slightly. I cast a glance at Anya, then at Buffy, and I see nothing. I look at my own arm, and again see nothing. Something draws my eyes to Dawn, and I see she's glowing too, but it's not like the others. She's glowing brighter than the rest of them, and unlike them, she's not glowing white, but a clear bright green.
The fireworks don't last more than a few seconds, and when they're over, Giles stands up again. "I think we have our proof. We are in the presence of three demons." "What about me?" asks Dawn, and I can see in her eyes that she's scared. Buffy's holding her hand, and I want to rush over there and do the same, but with an effort I stay where I am.
"Well, as I understand the spell, the fact that you glowed at all proves that you are of the earth. You are human. The green, I believe that is the energy of the key shining through."
"Yes," Buffy says suddenly, "that's what Tara saw, wasn't it? After Glory stole her mind, she saw Dawn as green energy."
As she speaks, Buffy's eyes flit to Willow, and I follow her gaze to find the witch crying softly. The mention of Tara must be more than she can bear. "I'm sorry, Will, I didn't mean."
"It's ok, Buffy. You can't not talk about her. That would be wrong. We all need to remember her, to talk about her. That's how we keep her memory alive, and that's all I've got now."
I always did have a soft spot for the redhead. Even back when Buffy was just an exotic snack, I had a sneaking regard for Willow. She said that with such quiet dignity that I can't help but admire her more than ever. I catch her eye, and try to let her know, but I'm not sure she understands.
Giles clears his throat again. "To get back to what I found in England. The library in the estate where Willow and I stayed has an excellent collection of books, and I spent many happy hours there. I found something, some notes on the margin of a book I read on a previous visit. Those notes were not there during my earlier perusal, and I asked the librarian about them. She assured me that no one had read that volume since the last time I did. That intrigued me. I had one of the coven members check out the writing, and it appears that it was written a very long time ago, shortly after the book was printed, but hidden magically. We don't know exactly what happened to make the notes visible, but I read them with interest."
"The notes didn't give any information in themselves, but were in fact a series of references to other texts. The texts in question have a very interesting history. During the 800s, there was a seer who lived in Winchester in England. Now, he was generally accepted to be quite mad, but, the monks who had the care of him, found some of the things he said so intriguing, that they set someone to write down everything he said. Most of it was gibberish, but, every now and again, he would say something which made sense, and within a short while, things he prophesied would come true. In all, there were twelve volumes of these ramblings, and they were studied in great depth for a time. They are known as the Bartholomew texts after the seer himself. The last known prophecy to come from these texts came true about two hundred years after Bartholomew's death. After that, they were generally considered to be a spent force. The notes I found persuaded me to re-examine his words."
Giles picks up some notes as he waits to allow us to take in what he has said. I can't help myself, I've got to ask. "So, these notes tell you to look up page fourteen of volume one and read what it says?"
"More or less, yes, Spike. What I found startled me. Unfortunately, the coven had only five of the twelve volumes. I have a good deal of further research to do, but I think I should share what I have so far. The first thing I found is a reference to an evil more ancient than anything I've heard of. It claims there was an energy, a purely malevolent energy, which was loosed upon the earth thousands of years ago. At that time, long before the human race as we know it, some creatures, it isn't specific as to their nature, found a means to trap this energy. They call the vessel they used the 'Orb of Fire'. Now, there was no way at that time to destroy this energy, containment was the only option. However, they knew that the orb would eventually disintegrate, and therefore they needed to come up with something lest this evil take over the world. For this purpose, they devised what we now know as 'The Key'."
The surprise at what he said was palpable. Dawn paled noticeably. "I'm sorry, Dawn." Giles said. "I suggested to Buffy that you not attend this meeting, but she insisted that she wouldn't have secrets from you any more. She also said that you knew that there was some sort of threat to you inherent in the reasons for Spike's return, so I hoped this would not be too big a shock."
"It's ok, Giles. I need to know this. I mean, I'm the Key, and that's a dangerous thing to be. Been there, done that. That's why I've got Buffy as a sister, and Spike to help keep me safe. It's cool."
She's trying so hard to show us she's not scared, but I can feel the fear. I instinctively stiffen, readying myself to protect her from an unseen enemy. "Very well. To continue. The plan was that the power of the Key would increase over the centuries, and that, by the time the Orb of Fire was due to disintegrate, the Key would be sufficiently developed to nullify the effect of the evil. That's as close as I can get to the meaning. Somehow, the Key energy and the evil will meet, and both will simply vanish."
"But, what about Dawn?" Buffy demands, just a fraction of a second before I was going to ask the same question.
"Well, Dawn is the Key, but she's also a human being. I hope that means that the Key will be destroyed, but that Dawn will emerge unscathed."
"You hope, Watcher?" I ask. "'Snot good enough. We need to know what 's going to happen. If Dawn won't be ok, we need to stop this thing before it happens." Giles is cleaning his glasses again. "Quite, Spike. I concur. As I said, I need to continue my research. Now, to continue. There is reference in another book to two warriors. The volume in question referred heavily to things of a martial nature, so the passages were assumed to belong there. The two warriors are described thus. 'The first will be born pure and live for good. On her second passing, she will return altered, becoming the vessel required for the task. The second will also be born pure, but will succumb to evil. Yet, he will also learn to live for good, and will achieve a great prize. He too, will become the vessel required for the task. The essences of both will be unchanged.'" "It seems to me, particularly in light of what Spike told us earlier, that the two warriors referred to are Buffy and Spike. Both have returned from death altered. We have still to discover their full capabilities. By the way, the full name given to those two warriors is 'Eternal Souls'."
He's watching Buffy and me. His eyes are flitting between the two of us, as if he's expecting us to do something. We both just look back.
"There are quite a lot more references I haven't been able to check yet. I'll be working on that as a matter of urgency, but you have to understand, that, apart from the Council of Watchers, I don't know of any other source of the complete set of Bartholomew texts. For obvious reasons, I would prefer to leave that source untapped unless it becomes absolutely necessary. I have some contacts, and I'm going to be scouring every source I know to try to find these texts. In the meantime, I can only suggest that we carry on as usual. It is fair to say that there are bound to be entities who don't want the Key to be available when the Orb of Fire disintegrates, so we have to keep the safety of Dawn as the first priority."
There is general agreement around the table. Even Harris is nodding. I watch him, and don't flinch when he turns to look at me. He holds my gaze, and I see, for the first time, a hint of understanding.
The meeting is over, and several smaller groups form. I watch Xander move towards Willow, and they're talking quietly. Dawn's staying close to Buffy, and I instinctively move closer to the Bit, feeling my natural inclination to protect her bolstered by what I've heard. Anya approaches too. She's talking to Dawn, her words falling over each other in their enthusiasm for getting out of her mouth, and Dawn seems to be listening. I'm not. I'm standing here, the two most important people in the world close to me, and I feel an almost overwhelming dread. It's so strong, it's almost a premonition. Somehow, I know, I just know, that Dawn won't survive the release of the Key. I glance at Buffy, and by the stricken look on her face, I know she feels it too.
Giles is leading Willow to the door, pleading tiredness for both of them, and asking Anya to lock up. Xander goes with them, casting a last, lingering look at Anya. I see the pain on his face and realise that, despite the anger he feels, he still loves her. It's almost enough to make me laugh. Hell, it is enough to make me laugh, but I control it. They both still love each other, but neither realises it. I think Xander's got a long way to go before it gets sorted, but I think he's taken the first step.
Anya starts talking about her vengeance duties, telling us that she's being called and hustling us out of the shop. I leave with Buffy and Dawn, and instinctively offer them a lift home. Buffy initially looks like she's going to refuse, but she glances at Dawn, and changes her mind. We head for my car, and Dawn climbs in the back, leaving the passenger seat for Buffy. Buffy pulls the hem of her dress down as far as it will go, and holds her hands in her lap demurely as I pull away.
We travel in silence, and I pull up outside the house. "Were you going to patrol?" I ask. "I am going to patrol," she answers.
"Look, Buffy. We can't leave Dawn alone. So, either I patrol and you stay with her, or you patrol and I stay, and I know you're not going to be happy with that option." "Why not?" She looks genuinely baffled.
"You mean you'd let me in your house? Leave me with Dawn?" "Done it before," she reminds me. "But that was ." "I know. But Spike, after you left, when I had to go and find Warren, I took Dawn to your crypt. I trusted you with her then, and I still trust you with her."
I swallow hard. There's a lump in my throat, and I don't know where it's come from. I nod, and follow them to the front door. Buffy goes in first, and Dawn runs in ahead. I stand on the doorstep, not willing to feel the barrier that I know will meet me without an invitation. I remember the night she died. The barrier, and her invitation that destroyed it. Dawn looks back, her eyes questioning.
"I need an invitation," I remind her. "No, you don't," she says, putting a hand on my arm and pulling me inside. There was no barrier. Buffy comes down five minutes later, her dress replaced by leather trousers and a pullover. She kisses Dawn on the forehead, and heads out, leaving me on her sofa, with her sister.
Another day in the land of those who work for a living. It's a new experience for me. As a vampire, right up until I got the chip, my motto was simply want, take. It was difficult after that, but I still took what I needed when I could. Then, when I was human, I was a gentleman. Gentlemen didn't work for a living. I mean, being 'in trade' was to imply you didn't belong. Not that I sat back and let the world happen around me. There were duties. There were things I simply had to do, especially after father died. His responsibilities fell to me.
It's only day two at Sunnydale High School, and already I feel I've been here forever. The layout of the school is scorched into my brain. I haven't had anything too severe to deal with yet. One kid with a knife he didn't actually intend to use, but I spotted him showing his friends on one of my monitors. There's the usual pilfering too, but I haven't spotted who yet. I will. I've done too much pilfering myself not to spot it.
I've kept out of my office a lot today. I mean, I've been back, but only when I think Buffy will be busy. I'm avoiding her. I know. I'm a coward. But she looks at me, not with hatred, but with something I can't understand, and I can't cope with it. Hatred I can understand. Anything else might be hurt or confusion, or pain, and I can't bring myself to study her long enough to work out which.
Towards the end of the day there's a note on my desk. Apparently Giles is back, and he's convened a meeting at the Magic Box at eight, and he wants me there. Probably planning to stake me, or at least tell me to get out of Sunnydale. It doesn't hurt any less because I know I deserve it.
I consider not going. I think of the possibility of having to spend some time in the same room as Buffy, having to look at the pain I caused, and I'm desperate to find a reason not to go. But I haven't got one, and I know it.
So, eight o'clock finds me outside the Magic Box. I stand with my hand on the door for a few seconds before finally opening it. There's no one sitting at the research table which seems to have been reinstated towards the back of the shop. The shop is an empty shell, and I think back to what Clem told me about what happened after I left. I deserted my girls, and I almost lost them both. Anya is there, looking through some catalogues, and as the door opens, Giles walks in from what was Buffy's training room, followed by Willow.
"Spike, I'm glad you came. Sit down, I'm sure Buffy will be here soon." I do as he asked, sitting at the edge of my chair and Willow comes to sit beside me. She looks as uncomfortable as I feel, and I give her a half smile which she returns. Anya joins us, looking entirely comfortable, and this only serves to make Willow and I look less so.
"Spike, it's good to see you. How've you been? You wouldn't believe the stories I've heard about you. Well, you know what the demon world's like. You just can't keep a secret!"
At that moment, the door opens again and Buffy and Dawn walk in. They are greeted by Giles who follows them to the table. I'm flanked by Willow and Anya, so I end up more or less opposite the two Summers sisters. I sneak a look at Dawn, and she smiles warmly at me. She elbows Buffy, and she looks up from the table. She smiles shyly, and goes back to looking down.
Giles clears his throat, and we all look his way. "I thought it would be a good idea to get together tonight, because of some information I came across while I was in England. But, before I get into that, I'd like Spike to tell us what happened to him. I don't know, but I think it might be relevant."
They're all looking at me, expectantly, even Buffy. I concentrate on the Watcher, keeping my eyes on his as I start to speak.
"The night I left, something happened. I did something I didn't think I could do. I hurt Buffy." I pause at that point, the memories still too vivid to be able to go on immediately. While I pause, the door opens again, and Xander lumbers in. He looks around the table, giving me a look of intense dislike, then shifts his gaze to my left, and Anya.
"What's she doing here?" he asks. His finger is pointing at her. Anya bristles as only she can. "Giles asked me to be here. And that's only right, since I'm going back to managing the store when it's ready to reopen."
"But, she's a demon!" Xander ignores Anya's words, and continues to talk to Giles. "That is certainly true," he agrees, "but it is also beside the point. Anya's information has often proved invaluable in the past, and I believe it may do so again. You have a choice. Either sit down and listen, or leave. I must ask you to decide quickly, so we can get on."
This is obviously not what Xander expected, so he sits down, looking bewildered and hurt. I almost feel sorry for him. Almost. After what he did to Anya, he deserves to hurt a bit.
The eyes return to me, and I try to continue. "As I was saying, I hurt Buffy. I didn't think I could, but I did. But, the thing is, I was confused. If I had been a man, I wouldn't have been able to hurt her like that. But, as a demon, I shouldn't have stopped when I knew I was hurting her. I realised I was nothing. I was neither man nor demon. I was so sorry about what I'd done, that I thought I'd lose my mind. But, despite that, the demon inside me was raging to finish what I'd started."
I stop and take a deep breath. This is harder than I thought it would be, and I never thought it'd be a picnic. "I had heard of something. A demon. In Africa. I'd heard he could grant wishes. I went, and asked him for a soul. I thought, if I had a soul, I'd be back on one side of the divide, not stuck on the fence any more. Anyway, to cut a long story short, there were some trials, but I passed. He gave me a soul."
I remember the physical pain of the trials, but I know my hand's starting to shake not because of that, but because of the memory of what followed. "He gave me a soul, and I started to feel regret, not just for what I'd done to Buffy, but to everyone I'd ever hurt. It built up, became overpowering, and then there was nothing. My body turned to dust, but, somehow I was there to see it. Don't exactly understand what happened." I glance away from the Watcher to look at Anya, Willow and Dawn. They're all looking at me intently, and I see .. is that understanding? I glance at Xander, and I see disbelief. He looks like he wants to object, but he's keeping quiet. I look at Buffy, and she's not looking at me. She's looking down, but her cheeks are wet. She's crying at the memory of me hurting her, I know she is, and it cuts through me. I have to take several deep breaths before I can continue.
"Anyway, after a while, I'm on a beach. I've got a body of sorts, and I meet this girl. Little girl. And she tells me some things. She gives me the choice of going back as something different or not going back at all. I didn't want to go back. I reckoned I'd done enough harm already, but she said if I didn't go back, something would happen to Dawn. So, I agreed."
Another pause. The next part isn't going to go down well, but I've got to say it. "She told me I'd be like Buffy's been since she came back. Not human, but not so different that you can tell easily. She told me that I would be able to survive on human food, but that blood would help me heal more quickly. That I would live far longer than a human, but she didn't say I would be immortal. She set me up with a flat and a job - a whole past. I woke up some time after that, and found the offer of the job at the school in my mailbox."
Giles had been listening, his face expressionless while I spoke. Sensing that my story was complete, he started to question me. "Are you quite sure about the reason for you coming back? It was definitely to do with Dawn."
I nod, sneaking a look at the Bit. Her eyes are looking moist, but she's smiling. She's smiling at me, even though she knows I hurt her sister. I thought I'd lose that - her friendship. "Yeah, that's the only reason I came back. She said it would take both Buffy and me to keep her safe."
The silence of the next couple of seconds is broken by Anya. "Well, well. The rumours were true! I mean, I didn't really believe them. They sounded so improbable. Do you know what sort of demon you are? Because, I don't recognise it. I've seen just about every species there is, and I've never heard of one like you describe."
I look at the vengeance demon, and smile at her. Her sadness is so much a part of her, that I can't help but feel it, but she's hiding it well. There's no way Harris would know she still loves him. "She never gave me a name. And, I've never heard of anything like me," I look over at Buffy, realising fully for the first time the import of what I've said. "Like us, before."
I knew it was too good to last. Xander pushes his chair away from the table, his body is tense, ready to fight. "Don't tell me you believe him? All that about Buffy not being human? I mean, the rest of it is hardly believable. There's no way he'd have gotten himself a soul. How often have you heard him talking about Angel's soul? He knew that it took Angel what, fifty years before he could deal with a soul. He wouldn't do it." To my amazement, it's Buffy who answers Xander. "You're wrong, Xander. It's exactly the sort of thing Spike would do. He's not one for half measures. The first time he tried to make me admit I cared for him, he chained me up and offered to kill Drusilla for me. And, after what I said to him, the way I treated him, it's exactly what he would do. I just don't know why I didn't realise it before."
The last few words she said were broken, like she was trying to hold back tears. I glance up, and I see Dawn putting her arm around her sister's shoulders, but she's looking at me.
Giles allows silence to reign for a short while, cleaning his glasses before speaking again. "I think I may be able to shed some light on the type of demon we're talking about, but I would prefer to start my story at the beginning."
Xander stands up. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I want some evidence. I want some proof that he's got a soul, and that Buffy's not human, and I'm not going to believe him otherwise."
To my surprise, Giles nods. "I suspected you might feel that way. Willow?" Willow opens her mouth to speak for the first time. "G..Giles warned me we might need proof. I've got something I can do. I can't prove the soul- having thing, but I can do a test to see if Buffy is human."
"Giles," Xander interrupts. "You can't ask her to do that. It's not fair." Dawn seems disturbed at the prospect too. She's gone pale, and is gripping Buffy's arm in what must be a painful grasp.
"I assure you," Giles says calmly, "that the spell involved here is completely safe. During her time in England, Willow has been working on reconnecting with the earth roots of pure magic, white magic. The spell she has in mind is completely true to those roots. It will simply recognise those of us around the table who are of the earth, that is, human. The others, it will ignore."
He turns to Willow, and she nods her acknowledgement. "As Giles said, there is no danger with this spell. I . I know I was wrong before, and it's been hard not using the dark magic, and I know I've still got a long way to go, but this .. this is ok. Honestly. Giles wouldn't let me do it if he wasn't comfortable." At that point she looks straight at Dawn. "I .. I know you haven't got much reason to trust me, but I'm not asking that, not yet. For now, trust Giles."
No one speaks, but the tension in the room goes down significantly. When she senses the acceptance, Willow continues. "It's quite a simple spell, really. I've got some earth here. Not just any earth, it's been specially purified and blessed, and I'm going to sprinkle a little of it over each of us. Then I'll say the incantation - it's just a couple of words - and those of us who are human should glow slightly as the earth recognises its own."
She stands up, and goes around the table, sprinkling a little of the powdered earth over each of us in turn, finishing with herself. She returns to her own place at the table, next to me, and says two words I don't catch. The effect is slow at first. Then I see it. Giles, Willow, and Xander are all glowing slightly. I cast a glance at Anya, then at Buffy, and I see nothing. I look at my own arm, and again see nothing. Something draws my eyes to Dawn, and I see she's glowing too, but it's not like the others. She's glowing brighter than the rest of them, and unlike them, she's not glowing white, but a clear bright green.
The fireworks don't last more than a few seconds, and when they're over, Giles stands up again. "I think we have our proof. We are in the presence of three demons." "What about me?" asks Dawn, and I can see in her eyes that she's scared. Buffy's holding her hand, and I want to rush over there and do the same, but with an effort I stay where I am.
"Well, as I understand the spell, the fact that you glowed at all proves that you are of the earth. You are human. The green, I believe that is the energy of the key shining through."
"Yes," Buffy says suddenly, "that's what Tara saw, wasn't it? After Glory stole her mind, she saw Dawn as green energy."
As she speaks, Buffy's eyes flit to Willow, and I follow her gaze to find the witch crying softly. The mention of Tara must be more than she can bear. "I'm sorry, Will, I didn't mean."
"It's ok, Buffy. You can't not talk about her. That would be wrong. We all need to remember her, to talk about her. That's how we keep her memory alive, and that's all I've got now."
I always did have a soft spot for the redhead. Even back when Buffy was just an exotic snack, I had a sneaking regard for Willow. She said that with such quiet dignity that I can't help but admire her more than ever. I catch her eye, and try to let her know, but I'm not sure she understands.
Giles clears his throat again. "To get back to what I found in England. The library in the estate where Willow and I stayed has an excellent collection of books, and I spent many happy hours there. I found something, some notes on the margin of a book I read on a previous visit. Those notes were not there during my earlier perusal, and I asked the librarian about them. She assured me that no one had read that volume since the last time I did. That intrigued me. I had one of the coven members check out the writing, and it appears that it was written a very long time ago, shortly after the book was printed, but hidden magically. We don't know exactly what happened to make the notes visible, but I read them with interest."
"The notes didn't give any information in themselves, but were in fact a series of references to other texts. The texts in question have a very interesting history. During the 800s, there was a seer who lived in Winchester in England. Now, he was generally accepted to be quite mad, but, the monks who had the care of him, found some of the things he said so intriguing, that they set someone to write down everything he said. Most of it was gibberish, but, every now and again, he would say something which made sense, and within a short while, things he prophesied would come true. In all, there were twelve volumes of these ramblings, and they were studied in great depth for a time. They are known as the Bartholomew texts after the seer himself. The last known prophecy to come from these texts came true about two hundred years after Bartholomew's death. After that, they were generally considered to be a spent force. The notes I found persuaded me to re-examine his words."
Giles picks up some notes as he waits to allow us to take in what he has said. I can't help myself, I've got to ask. "So, these notes tell you to look up page fourteen of volume one and read what it says?"
"More or less, yes, Spike. What I found startled me. Unfortunately, the coven had only five of the twelve volumes. I have a good deal of further research to do, but I think I should share what I have so far. The first thing I found is a reference to an evil more ancient than anything I've heard of. It claims there was an energy, a purely malevolent energy, which was loosed upon the earth thousands of years ago. At that time, long before the human race as we know it, some creatures, it isn't specific as to their nature, found a means to trap this energy. They call the vessel they used the 'Orb of Fire'. Now, there was no way at that time to destroy this energy, containment was the only option. However, they knew that the orb would eventually disintegrate, and therefore they needed to come up with something lest this evil take over the world. For this purpose, they devised what we now know as 'The Key'."
The surprise at what he said was palpable. Dawn paled noticeably. "I'm sorry, Dawn." Giles said. "I suggested to Buffy that you not attend this meeting, but she insisted that she wouldn't have secrets from you any more. She also said that you knew that there was some sort of threat to you inherent in the reasons for Spike's return, so I hoped this would not be too big a shock."
"It's ok, Giles. I need to know this. I mean, I'm the Key, and that's a dangerous thing to be. Been there, done that. That's why I've got Buffy as a sister, and Spike to help keep me safe. It's cool."
She's trying so hard to show us she's not scared, but I can feel the fear. I instinctively stiffen, readying myself to protect her from an unseen enemy. "Very well. To continue. The plan was that the power of the Key would increase over the centuries, and that, by the time the Orb of Fire was due to disintegrate, the Key would be sufficiently developed to nullify the effect of the evil. That's as close as I can get to the meaning. Somehow, the Key energy and the evil will meet, and both will simply vanish."
"But, what about Dawn?" Buffy demands, just a fraction of a second before I was going to ask the same question.
"Well, Dawn is the Key, but she's also a human being. I hope that means that the Key will be destroyed, but that Dawn will emerge unscathed."
"You hope, Watcher?" I ask. "'Snot good enough. We need to know what 's going to happen. If Dawn won't be ok, we need to stop this thing before it happens." Giles is cleaning his glasses again. "Quite, Spike. I concur. As I said, I need to continue my research. Now, to continue. There is reference in another book to two warriors. The volume in question referred heavily to things of a martial nature, so the passages were assumed to belong there. The two warriors are described thus. 'The first will be born pure and live for good. On her second passing, she will return altered, becoming the vessel required for the task. The second will also be born pure, but will succumb to evil. Yet, he will also learn to live for good, and will achieve a great prize. He too, will become the vessel required for the task. The essences of both will be unchanged.'" "It seems to me, particularly in light of what Spike told us earlier, that the two warriors referred to are Buffy and Spike. Both have returned from death altered. We have still to discover their full capabilities. By the way, the full name given to those two warriors is 'Eternal Souls'."
He's watching Buffy and me. His eyes are flitting between the two of us, as if he's expecting us to do something. We both just look back.
"There are quite a lot more references I haven't been able to check yet. I'll be working on that as a matter of urgency, but you have to understand, that, apart from the Council of Watchers, I don't know of any other source of the complete set of Bartholomew texts. For obvious reasons, I would prefer to leave that source untapped unless it becomes absolutely necessary. I have some contacts, and I'm going to be scouring every source I know to try to find these texts. In the meantime, I can only suggest that we carry on as usual. It is fair to say that there are bound to be entities who don't want the Key to be available when the Orb of Fire disintegrates, so we have to keep the safety of Dawn as the first priority."
There is general agreement around the table. Even Harris is nodding. I watch him, and don't flinch when he turns to look at me. He holds my gaze, and I see, for the first time, a hint of understanding.
The meeting is over, and several smaller groups form. I watch Xander move towards Willow, and they're talking quietly. Dawn's staying close to Buffy, and I instinctively move closer to the Bit, feeling my natural inclination to protect her bolstered by what I've heard. Anya approaches too. She's talking to Dawn, her words falling over each other in their enthusiasm for getting out of her mouth, and Dawn seems to be listening. I'm not. I'm standing here, the two most important people in the world close to me, and I feel an almost overwhelming dread. It's so strong, it's almost a premonition. Somehow, I know, I just know, that Dawn won't survive the release of the Key. I glance at Buffy, and by the stricken look on her face, I know she feels it too.
Giles is leading Willow to the door, pleading tiredness for both of them, and asking Anya to lock up. Xander goes with them, casting a last, lingering look at Anya. I see the pain on his face and realise that, despite the anger he feels, he still loves her. It's almost enough to make me laugh. Hell, it is enough to make me laugh, but I control it. They both still love each other, but neither realises it. I think Xander's got a long way to go before it gets sorted, but I think he's taken the first step.
Anya starts talking about her vengeance duties, telling us that she's being called and hustling us out of the shop. I leave with Buffy and Dawn, and instinctively offer them a lift home. Buffy initially looks like she's going to refuse, but she glances at Dawn, and changes her mind. We head for my car, and Dawn climbs in the back, leaving the passenger seat for Buffy. Buffy pulls the hem of her dress down as far as it will go, and holds her hands in her lap demurely as I pull away.
We travel in silence, and I pull up outside the house. "Were you going to patrol?" I ask. "I am going to patrol," she answers.
"Look, Buffy. We can't leave Dawn alone. So, either I patrol and you stay with her, or you patrol and I stay, and I know you're not going to be happy with that option." "Why not?" She looks genuinely baffled.
"You mean you'd let me in your house? Leave me with Dawn?" "Done it before," she reminds me. "But that was ." "I know. But Spike, after you left, when I had to go and find Warren, I took Dawn to your crypt. I trusted you with her then, and I still trust you with her."
I swallow hard. There's a lump in my throat, and I don't know where it's come from. I nod, and follow them to the front door. Buffy goes in first, and Dawn runs in ahead. I stand on the doorstep, not willing to feel the barrier that I know will meet me without an invitation. I remember the night she died. The barrier, and her invitation that destroyed it. Dawn looks back, her eyes questioning.
"I need an invitation," I remind her. "No, you don't," she says, putting a hand on my arm and pulling me inside. There was no barrier. Buffy comes down five minutes later, her dress replaced by leather trousers and a pullover. She kisses Dawn on the forehead, and heads out, leaving me on her sofa, with her sister.