Tea with the Black Queen
"So do ya know what the best thing is about a raw juicy steak Hank? Yeah when ya bite into it and just let the blood trickle down yer chin. Then I love eating mice too, swallowing em whole just like Twinkies," growled Jack as the werewolf made polite conversation with Hank. Beast wasn't sure if he would ever be able to enjoy his favorite snack again.
"Then ya know how hard it is not ta stare at some guy's throat and imagine tearing it out with ya fangs? Yeah I bet ya do, 'cause after all yer a feral type like me."
"Actually my dear lycanthrope I believe you would get along famously with Logan. Please may you refrain from regaling me with any more of your 'delightful' anecdotes as I'm feeling quite nauseous?
Jack's pointed ears curled back and he seemed to shrink back in his seat at the thought of upsetting his alpha, the new Black King. He flung himself at Hank's feet kneeling in submission and presenting his throat to Hank offering him the chance to rip it out.
"I kneel before ya in surrender and submission Black King. I give my life fer ya ta end if that is yer wish. Please forgive me fer my disgraceful conduct."
"Stars and garters, there's no need for that and besides I'm a merciful man. I forgive you and I only ask that you don't talk any more about that sort of thing while we are enjoying our meal. Now please get up and don't you dare lick my boots!"
Xavier Institute for Higher Learning
Logan picked up the phone after hearing it ringing several rooms away. He growled when he heard Trish asking if Hank was there. He had never entirely been able to forgive her for breaking Hank's heart like that but he decided to hear her out. When Trish told him about Hank's bizarre behavior and how people had seemed to see things that weren't really there he had his suspicions. It was all too obvious that Selene was up to her tricks again and it was well within her capabilities to create illusions.
"Well darlin thanks fer the information but I'm warning ya ta keep away from Hank at least until Selene gets what's coming ta her. I'm warning ya though that if ya ever break my buddy's heart again I'm not going ta take too kindly to it."
Logan slammed the phone down and quickly went to Hank's room. The furry X-Man had left some time ago without telling anyone where he was going and Logan had a horrible suspicion about his location. His worst fears were confirmed when he found the note that Hank had left. What's more Logan was the only one of the team at home at present although there was one other person who might be able to help. As usual he found Bobby slumped in front of the television watching reruns. With a growl Logan went and turned off the set to a howl of protest from Iceman.
"Oh that's my favorite program Wolvster, why'd ya have to go and switch it off."
"I'll make it simple fer ya bub, Hank, big trouble, needs rescuing."
"Selene?"
"Yeah"
"What are you waiting for? Let's go and rescue our fuzzy blue friend."
Hellfire Club
Hank had finally persuaded Jack that he did not want to kill him and was now able to enjoy the dinner in peace. At least he would if Selene would keep her hands to himself, thankfully the Hellfire Club clothing he wore covered up most of his fur. Still whenever he let his attention wander for her, those fingers would go back to stroking his cheek, running through his mane, brushing against his hand and even scratching the back of his ear.
"Please Selene, would you mind keeping your hands of my fur thank you. After all I'm not a cat despite appearances."
"Oh but Hank fur as soft, luxuriant as yours and the temptation just proves too much for me. It's just such a delight to stroke your fur and I'm sure you find the experience as pleasurable as I do."
Hank sighed and decided that any further protests would be futile, best just to ignore it and hope that she lost interest. He got on with enjoying the fine cuisine, a gastronomic delight that would have enraptured any gourmand. Say what you like about Selene but she knew how to throw a party, centuries of experience showed in her choice of delectable food.
"I must say Selene that I am enjoying this meal immensely. Please give my compliments to the chef."
"Oh he always does his best Hank as though his life depended on it. In fact it does but he's going to live to see another day," laughed Selene pleasantly.
The door was opened as Hellfire Club guards entered bowing hastily as a late arriving guest was escorted through, the White Bishop Yuriko Oyama resplendent in an elegantly patterned silk kimono. The Japanese cyborg bowed and offered her sincere contrition for being late.
"Well at least you showed up this time. Lady Deathstrike meet the new Black King, Hank McCoy of the X-Men. Hank this is Yuriko who I'm not sure if you've met although she is intimately familiar to our feral friend Wolverine."
"Delighted to make your acquaintance ma'am, Logan has told me much about you."
"None of it good I presume Hank-san, still I am honored to be in your presence."
Yuriko took the seat next to Hank, extending her adamantium talons and skewering a bread roll. Blackheart gave a shriek of dismay at seeing the adamantium claws and tried to hide underneath the table. Meanwhile Jack decided this breach of table manners gave him carte blanche to do as he wished so he helped himself to Fitzroy's steak much to the green haired man's dismay. Fitzroy punched Jack on the nose and the man snarled and assumed his hybrid form.
"Black Rook, White Knight, cease this shameful conduct at once. This is no way to behave in front of our new Black King," called Martinique.
"No don't stop this is great," sighed Selene as she watched Jack forcing Fitzroy to repeatedly beg for mercy while holding the young man by the throat.
"I'm very sorry sir, I'm afraid it often gets like this," apologized De Costa.
"Oh I'm quite used to this sort of thing at home, usually when someone's helped themselves to Logan's beer," murmured Hank.
Jack glanced over at Hank cringed and shifted back to human form dropping the grateful Fitzroy before somewhat sheepishly going back to his meal. Selene decided that now might be a good time to bring out the Twinkies. That was sure to please Hank.
Hellfire Club entrance
"I'm afraid that since you're not wearing a tie we cannot allow you to enter our exclusive establishment. Also may I enquire if sir has ever thought of using a razor?"
Logan snarled at the bouncer who was obstinately blocking his way. Bobby who knew the warning signs decided to ice up before the inevitable. Sure enough Logan popped his claws and slashed straight through the man's tie before grabbing him roughly by the collar and pulling him close.
"Ya got one chance ta get out of the way bub or it won't be yer tie that gets sliced next time."
"Y-yes s-sir of course, go right in," whispered the poor man before fainting dead away.
"Ya see Bobby I told ya I could get us in without resorting ta violence."
"Yeah right," muttered Bobby under his breath earning a glare and a snarl from Logan.
Stepping through the door they found a dozen guards waiting for them and a very familiar figure standing right beside them. Grinning the tall and burly feral nodded towards Logan who answered with his own savage grin. Bobby on the other hand felt like wetting his pants.
"Well nice ta see ya again runt. Since I'm the Black Knight around here let me be the first ta give ya a proper Hellfire Club welcome," growled Sabretooth.
"Get ready ta rumble Creed. Bobby the guards are yours, leave Sabretooth ta me,"
"Believe me you're welcome to him."
Back at dinner
"So everybody here is either a mutant or has special abilities so I'm wondering Martinique what special talents you possess. Other than of course your stunning beauty and charming personality," said Hank in a silky smooth voice.
"I'm a telepath," said Martinique remembering not to say anything about her illusions. She had her suspicions though that Hank was already on to her.
Hank though was thinking very hard about just what the hell he had been thinking in coming here. He could only surmise that all the pressure had got so much that it had finally cost him his sanity. He had admittedly been through a lot what with being pursued by a lovesick External and a particularly debauched and diabolical one at that. His fur had been stroked without his permission; he'd suffered a near cardiac arrest on hearing off one of her favorite games that was so decadent and perverse that it had shocked even Logan. He'd nearly been decapitated by a berserk feral and his poor ears were still ringing with the shriek of fingernails on slate. Then there had been Trish's conduct in the restaurant so unlike her that it was unbelievable. It had been that that had finally made him decide to come to the Hellfire Club.
"Hmm maybe it was so unbelievable because that's precisely what it was. Now Marti's scent seems awfully familiar, the waitress at the restaurant! Now she says she's a telepath so maybe she was there influencing my mind and causing me to see things that weren't really there. Oh stars and garters I should have remembered that I already know about Marti. Jason Wyngarde's daughter, the new Mastermind who Logan and Remy met," thought Hank as his brilliant intellect deduced just what had happened. He gave a small growl angry at Selene's cheap tricks.
"Is everything alright Hank darling?"
"No everything is not alright Selene dear, oh my stars and garters!"
"No, not him!" screamed Blackheart vanishing as the wall burst inwards under a wave of ice.
Standing there was a bloodied battered but snarling and utterly ferocious Logan, shirt and jacket shredded much to Selene's delight. Next to him stood Bobby fully iced up and doing his best to look stern and menacing. Scattered around them were the unconscious forms of guards and Sabretooth who didn't seem to be doing anything much but bleeding for the foreseeable future. His healing factor was obviously working overtime to repair the nasty wounds that Logan had dealt him.
"You have vanquished Sabretooth Logan, now you get to be my new Black Knight!" crooned Selene.
"No way in hell Selene, we've come ta take back our friend and if ya think ya can stop us yer in fer a taste of claw city!"
"Yes you evil witch, you're not getting your hands on my Hank!" yelled Bobby.
"Why, he your boyfriend or something or does that honor go to Logan?" asked Fitzroy guilelessly.
"Thanks a lot mate, now I'm getting all sorts of images running through my head," growled Jack.
A snowball struck Fitzroy in the mouth and he was forced to spit out snow quite forgetting about his next witty comment. Actually that saved his life since Logan had decided that any more out of him would force him to shut Fitzroy up permanently.
"So these gaijin would dare attempt to break into the Hellfire Club, viciously assault our Black Knight and guards and then brazenly announce that they would attempt to kidnap our Black King. For this infamy you shall perish," hissed Lady Deathstrike charging at her oldest enemy.
"Yer wrong darlin, we've come ta make Hank come ta his senses and save him from the likes of yer Black Queen," growled Logan.
Then there were no more words as adamantium clashed against adamantium.
"Perhaps it would be better if I left with my friends and avoided any further bloodshed," suggested Hank hopefully.
"No they must be punished for their insolence," snarled Selene flinging a fireball at Bobby.
It struck him and with a hiss Bobby melted into a puddle. Just as quickly he reformed and gave her a wink and a grin. Summoning his power he froze Selene in a block of ice which just as quickly melted. The cycle began all over again and Hank shook his head sorrowfully. Seeing Mastermind standing nearby he placed his hand on her shoulder and she looked up meeting his stern gaze.
"I suggest you try using your illusionary powers to bring this little conflict to a peaceful end."
She blinked once and Hank smiled as she realized that he knew about what she had done. Then she nodded and created the illusion of a recovered and berserk Victor Creed rampaging through the room that sent Fitzroy and De Costa running for their lives. Logan turned to chase after it and Yuriko stepped in to attack Bobby gradually driving him back before a massive ice floe sent her crashing through a wall.
"I'm sending you the bill for all this damage Iceman!" shrieked Selene.
"So sue me," laughed Bobby sticking out his tongue.
"Now are ya going to be a good doggy and surrender or shall we go fer three?" growled Logan. He had Jack pressed up against the wall with a claw on either side of his neck and the middle one just touching his throat.
"Uncle, I give," growled the werewolf.
"Selene, I've decided that this has all been a little too much for one day. Now you said I could leave if I wanted to so I'm afraid I must be going now. It's probably just as well since my friends seem rather insistent in wishing me to leave. Let's do this again some time but not for a while," called Hank and the battle halted immediately.
Selene smiled and walked over to the panting Logan who was now sitting catching his breath on top of the now broken table. Putting an arm around his shoulder she lovingly stroked the ebon muttonchops and the feral was too tired to protest.
"Well don't leave it too long Hank or I may decide that it will have to be Logan after all. Still you found this an interesting experience didn't you?"
"I can honestly say that memories of this night will haunt my dreams for years to come."
Bobby de-iced and rushed over to Hank flinging his arms around him, hugging him tightly and crushing his face against Hank's chest, tears running down his cheeks.
"Are you sure they're not gay?" muttered Fitzroy who decided it was finally safe to return.
"Hands of the sideburns darlin," snarled Logan unsheathing his claws.
"I've said it before and I'll say it again but you are so cute when you're angry," purred Selene. She was sad to see her beloved Hank was leaving but already a new plan was forming in her mind. Kidnap Logan and seducing him and having a wild night of passion with him would be very enjoyable and would be sure to make her Black King jealous. Yes Hank would be hers and soon.
"Oh Hank I'm so glad that you're alright. I just want you to know that you're the best friend I've ever had fuzz-ball," sobbed Bobby.
"Likewise Bobby but please stop hugging me quite so tightly since I'm finding it difficult to breathe. Also Fitzroy is giving us some very peculiar looks,"
"Now farewell Selene," called Hank trying to keep the glee out of his voice from uttering the words.
With that the three friends took their leave of the Black Queen and the Hellfire Club thankful to be alive. Logan paused only to kick Creed in the ribs while Bobby rapidly ate the sponge pudding he had surreptitiously stolen while Hank decided he would ring Trish when he got back. He didn't feel perhaps as bad about her troubles as he should have since she had broken his heart but still she hadn't really deserved any of this. Still perhaps after the fiasco that was the party Selene would have lost interest in him.
"There you are Blackheart. You missed out on all the fun."
"I suppose you have given up on Hank oh delightfully sensuous and depraved magnificence?"
"No I'm hoping to be seeing him again very soon. I can tell that he feels the same way about me, see the way he was trembling as we left and the tear in the corner of his eye. That was the grief at departing from my presence.
Now that look he gave me as he said goodbye showed the anticipation of our next encounter. Yes he loves me my darling demon, he loves me a lot."
"Oh," sighed Blackheart.
Fortunately he had finally managed to track down Dark Beast so he was going to have to pay him a visit very soon. Hopefully if miracles did still happen he might manage to prevent any more chaos. As of now he needed a bottle of Scotch, a dozen Prozac and his teddy, not necessarily in that order.