We Bring You Hellfire

"Martinique Jason I am pleased to appoint you the new White Rook. Just try not to have a complete nervous breakdown like your predecessor did. I think this is a reward you richly deserve for your masterful use of illusion to gain the heart of my Black King," purred Selene.

Mastermind nodded thoughtfully, Roberto's mental state had been rather delicate for a long time and the attack on the Hellfire Club by Iceman and Wolverine had been the straw that broke the camels back. They found him huddled under a table sobbing hysterically. Of course if she was now White Rook that meant the position of White Bishop was now open.

"Who were you thinking of sponsoring for my now vacant position?"

"I think we need another X-Man as it will please my darling Hank to have one of his friends as a member of the Inner Circle. Now I admire Logan and Bobby's courage in their audacious escapade so it will have to be one of them, probably that handsome feral. Now excuse me while I go and make a phone call to Hank and then send him a text message."

X-mansion

Poor Beak had once again been forced to flee for his life after making the mistake of asking Logan how hot he thought Selene was. The feral was still rather touchy about her stroking his sideburns without permission. A ferocious sneeze was heard as loose feathers tickled Logan's nose and the feral decided to let the poor sap go this time. After all Hank probably wouldn't take too kindly to having his pupils murdered.

"So you will be coming round here for dinner tomorrow at 9.00 pm precisely. Well thank you for the warning and believe me we will be well prepared for your arrival. Yes Selene the evening was certainly unforgettable. Goodbye," Hank sighed and put the phone down before making a mental note to get some more aspirin in. After tomorrow he'd need it.

"Beak seems to have a thing about Selene Hank," said Bobby.

"Yes along with all the other male students, still it's not really so surprising. She's a very beautiful woman who likes to wear revealing clothing and is rather hmm shall we say forward in manner. Just the sort of thing to appeal to the adolescent male mind," sighed Hank.

"Yeah but ya have to watch it if you kiss her since she can suck the life out of you,"

"Yes she's an energy vampire among other things, now she seems to genuinely love me and I don't think she'd deliberately hurt me but I'm always afraid she'll forget herself when she kisses me and….."

Bobby remembered something else that had happened and looked utterly despondent. Hank put an arm around his shoulder and hugged his friend close to him. Bobby relaxed his head against Hank's shoulder, cheek brushing against the furry face and pulled a rather petulant face.

"Fitzroy thought I was gay Hank, now the whole Hellfire Club probably does too. Oh man how am I going to live this one down?"

"Well you did seem a little emotional when you embraced me and the comment about "you're not getting your hands on my Hank" could have been misconstrued."

At that point Logan came in growling under his breath. Moving over to the window he pulled the curtains open and pointed. Two pairs of eyes followed his accusing finger and then those eyes went wide in disbelief at the fabulous spectacle lighting up the night sky.

There high up in the sky in letters of flame hundreds of feet high and visible for miles around was a message.

Hank and Selene

Black King and Black Queen

Love is eternal

This was Selene's idea of sending Hank a text message.

"Well bless my stars and garters," moaned Hank suddenly feeling in need of a stiff drink.

An unofficial meeting of the Inner Circle

Victor Creed was feeling somewhat recovered from his fight now that his wounds were mostly healed. He had not been too happy when Selene had come to pay him a visit and had started stroking his sideburns and kissing his stubbly cheek. Actually he had been enjoying the attention until she had called him Logan by mistake. He was even angrier now at the thought of the runt joining the Hellfire Club as an equal.

"I'm going ta rip his freaking head off and spit down his neck! Do ya hear me?"

"Now steady on mate, there is another one who could be just as suitable," soothed Jack.

"Pray tell us lycanthrope for I shall not abide the presence of the dishonorable gaijin Logan-san among our illustrious company," hissed Deathstrike.

"Bobby Drake also known as the Iceman was the other choice given to us. Now I'll admit he's not what you might think of as classic Hellfire material but I'm sure that we're all in agreement that he's a lot better than the alternative," said Fitzroy.

"If we have ta have another X-Geek I suppose he'll have ta do," sighed Jack.

"Don't ya worry Jack, we'll get ta rip him ta shreds if he doesn't measure up," growled Creed.

"So we are all in agreement that Bobby is the most suitable choice. Good the Black Queen can't overrule the unanimous decision of the entire Inner Circle. Now Blackheart is absent but since he's petrified of Logan he'll never agree to him being a member. Now all we need to do is go and make Iceman an offer he can't refuse," purred Mastermind.

"Yes Martinique-chan and if he does not agree then we shall slay him in righteous retribution for his assault upon the Hellfire Club."

"I hope not Yuriko since it would be a real shame to have to kill him. After all you have to admit that he is kind of cute," Martinique sighed dreamily.

Back at the X-Mansion

Logan was presently working his way through a six pack of beer while half watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer with Bobby. The revelation that Selene was going to be coming round for dinner tomorrow and there was no possible way to prevent it had not gone down very well at all with him. Deep gouges in the wall were a testament to his anger. Now his claws were sheathed as he had resigned himself to the fact that his life was once again hell.

"Ya know Bobby I think Selene must have a thing fer me as well. I mean she keeps stroking my sideburns and my stubble and she kept staring at my chest."

"I think it's those sleeveless vests you wear Wolvster. Perhaps you ought to keep one of those flannel shirts on and hope it discourages her. Still I thought you liked the ladies."

"Yeah well there are ladies and she ain't one. 'Sides she's one of the few women who are actually older than I am. Anyways she's Hank's woman and I ain't going ta cheat on a buddy."

"Yeah still at least I think that little stunt is the last we'll hear of Selene or the Hellfire Club tonight."

Logan nodded and allowed himself a grin. He took a sip from his beer and consoled himself by watching the vampires getting dusted and imaging Selene in their place. Actually he had been sort of flattered by the attention but he wasn't going to admit that to anyone especially not her. The last thing you wanted to do with Selene was to encourage her.

"You know they probably think we're all gay mutants or at least Fitzroy does. He thought either you or Hank was my boyfriend. I mean can you imagine that, like eww, I mean it's just too disturbing to even contemplate."

"Ya don't know the half of it Popsicle; count yerself lucky that ya didn't hear about that game of hers. If it wasn't fer the healing factor I'd have had a cardiac arrest."

Hanks room

Hank had just changed out of his Hellfire clothing and put it carefully away. He was presently attired in jeans and T-shirt and wondering whether to put on his X-Man uniform when he was grabbed from behind, forced against the bed and kissed so passionately that he nearly suffocated. Selene released him from the kiss and sat on the bed idly stroking the fur on his shoulder.

"I like seeing you in tight T-shirts Hank, shows off your muscles very nicely. Anyway I just wanted to know what you thought of the text message. I created a new spell for it, especially for you my Black King."

"Well it was a beautiful spectacle Selene and a magnificent and indeed awe inspiring spectacle. However it may have been a little public."

"Oh I shall want the whole world to know about our love darling Hank."

"Oh my stars and garters," groaned Hank flinging his head in his hands and incidentally giving Selene the opportunity to run her fingers through his mane.

"Stars and garters indeed Hank. Adieu handsome," she purred and with a last kiss on his cheek she departed.

There was a low repetitive thud as Hank began to bang his head against the wall but the only result was to give him a headache. Fortunately he had aspirin to hand, not that that would do anything for his real headache of the External variety.

Back in the lounge Bobby was stretched out on the sofa having succumbed to exhaustion. Logan was pacing around the room deciding what to do and finally coming to a decision.

"I'll go out in the garden fer a walk ta clear my head."

Hearing a knock at the door he opened it revealing a small gaggle of students who sheepishly admitted that they had just come back from partying. With puppy dog eyes they beseeched him not to tell Scott or they would be in trouble. Logan gave them a menacing growl and stepped aside to let them pass paying them no further heed. Little did he know that he had fallen victim to one of Masterminds illusions and that he had just let most of the Inner Circle into the mansion.

Rec Room

"So this slovenly, unshaven immature and did I forget to mention that he's a prankster, lovable loser is going to be the new White Bishop of the Hellfire Club. We're really scraping the bottom of the barrel aren't we? Also are you sure he isn't gay?" asked Fitzroy.

"Fitzroy ya really do have a filthy mind ya know," growled Jack.

"Thank you for the charming compliment," said Fitzroy with complete sincerity.

"Shall I go and wake the runt up?"

"No Creed we're all easily recognizable as enemies and I'm too busy maintaining the illusion of us not being here to interfere. Jack you'll have to be the one, go over and just wake him up gently. I'll go and tell our Black King of the latest recruit," ordered Martinique.

Jack nodded and his hairy face assumed its best attempt at a friendly grin. Unfortunately his fangs made it more frightening than comforting but at least he was trying his best. He crept stealthily towards Bobby and reaching down with a clawed hand began very gently to shake Bobby's shoulder.

"Come on mate, wake up cause we've got something ta tell ya,"

"Ten more minutes mum," murmured Bobby sleepily.

He opened bleary eyes blinking once or twice and trying to focus. Looking up he saw Jack's face peering down at him, taking in feral hazel eyes, prominent canines, copious stubble and impressive sideburns he leapt to the logical conclusion.

"Why'd ya have to wake me up Logan? I was having this brilliant dream. Wait since when did Logan have brown hair and you're even hairier than he is," gulped Bobby.

"Now steady-"

Too late as Bobby screamed his head off and dived for cover behind the sofa.

"Well that could have gone better," muttered Jack pointed ears curling back in embarrassment.

Outside in the garden

Logan was sitting in the tree eyes shut in contentment listening to the calls of the nocturnal wildlife and smelling the delicious scents that wafted to him on the night breeze. He opened his eyes and threw back his head, howling heartily at the moon and drowning out Bobby's terrified yells. Logan relaxed pulling his Stetson down to cover his eyes and folding his arms behind his head, leaning back against the sturdy branch for a well deserved nap.

Before he could react the tree suddenly came alive around him, branches growing with unnatural speed and wrapping around his ankles and wrists twisting his arms around so that using his claws would mean he stabbed himself through the back. In short order he was completely helpless and could only howl and snarl in frustration.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again, you really are cute when you're angry," laughed Selene alighting on a branch next to Logan.

"I'm going to rip yer freaking head off fer this ya bitch,"

"Hush now handsome," whispered Selene cupping a hand under Logan's stubbly chin and kissing him firmly on the cheek.

Then she settled back and started stroking her helpless captive's sideburns.

Hanks room

Hank had been peacefully reading one of his Tom Clancy novels when Mastermind entered the room and proudly announced to her Black King that they were just inducting Bobby Drake as the new White Bishop. To say that he was displeased about the Hellfire Club intruding in the mansion was putting it mildly. Now he had been distracted by loud growls coming from outside and was looking out of the window.

"What's happening your hirsute handsomeness?" asked Martinique.

"It seems that the Black Queen has entrapped Logan and is taking full advantage of the opportunity. I don't think he's too happy about it from the sounds of things."

"May I enquire as to why you are so jovial at the moment?"

"Because my dear at least while she is distracted by Logan that means she is out of my fur."

Recreation room

"So basically you're saying that I have no other choice but to join the Hellfire Club as White Bishop," said Bobby nervously.

"Look mate we don't want ta put ya under any pressure," soothed Jack.

"Of course the choice is entirely yours," said Fitzroy.

"However Bobby-san I would strongly recommend you accept our generous offer lest we decide you need further persuasion," purred Yuriko.

"Ya see bub I'm going ta be the one ta persuade yer, fer yer own good of course. Somehow though I don't think ya would like that," growled Creed.

"Well if you put it like that how can I refuse? Alright I accept the position of White Bishop in the Hellfire Club. Now would you please take your claws away from my throat?"

Sabretooth gave a little rumbling growl that was almost a purr and released Bobby from his grip. Yuriko kissed Bobby on the cheek while Fitzroy shook him by the hand. Finally Jack gave him a friendly pat on the back that knocked the breath from his lungs.

"I think yer going ta fit in fine mate," said Jack with a friendly grin.

"If I can only get my breath back that is," gasped Bobby.

Somewhere else

McCoy also known as the Dark Beast grinned menacingly at the cowering demon, yellow eyes gleaming with savage delight as he reveled in Blackhearts fear. The dark furred mutant patted the demon gently on the head and Blackheart nearly fainted. Dark Beast was even more frightening to the poor demon than Logan was.

"I will consider your intriguing offer with great interest Blackheart. Perhaps now that Magneto and Apocalypse are no more it is time for me to take a position of power. Who did you say the current Black King was?"

"Hank McCoy sir," stuttered Blackheart.

That clinched it for Dark Beast. He readily agreed to meet with Selene with only one additional condition to his joining the Hellfire Club. That he personally would be the one to kill Hank. However he grabbed Blackheart by the throat and pulled him close mere inches from his furry face. He opened his jaws wide revealing his sharp fangs and spoke in the iciest of whispers.

"Beware little imp if you try to deceive me. Know that my wrath will be swift and terrible and I have always wanted to dissect a demon."

Blackheart wondered whether this had been such a good idea after all.