Chapter 22 - Babysitting Dawn

Author's note: Chronologically, this happens before the last part of the previous chapter. I've tried not to do that elsewhere, but it seemed clumsy not to keep Riley's night together.

I know something's happened, but, uncharacteristically, the Bit's not telling. There was something different about Buffy tonight when I arrived for patrol. She seemed more subdued than recently. There was a time when the words 'subdued' and 'Buffy' wouldn't have belonged in the same sentence, but these days, they're right at home together.

Still, it's good to see Dawn at home again. She promised her sister she would get to bed early, but she's not showing any signs of heading that way. I'm not complaining. I haven't seen too much of her while she was in hospital. I visited, of course I did, but I tried to avoid the times I knew the whelp, Giles or Willow would be there. It's better if it's just the three of us.

I don't understand this thing I'm feeling. I've always been aware of something special about Dawn, but it's been stronger since I got back. It's as if I'm only able to relax when both my girls are near. That's another point. I can't think of them, either of them, without a distinct feeling of ownership. They're mine, almost like a vampire claiming a human. Almost, but not quite, because, with the 'they're mine' idea, goes the opposite. I belong to them.

I've talked around everything I can think of, so I give up and ask what's been on my mind since Buffy went out on patrol.

"Dawn, I thought I was going to patrol tonight. Why did Buffy change her mind?"

"I guess she just needed to get out. She's been pretty cooped up with me in hospital, hasn't she?"

"Well, I suppose, but it was more than that. Have I done something to upset her? She seemed a bit more … distant."

There, I've said it. My old insecurity's coming through. "I thought things were getting better. She hasn't seemed so .. uncomfortable with me. But tonight, she hardly said anything."

It's true. The whole business of Dawn being attacked has had one positive result. Not that I wouldn't have done anything to prevent the attack. Buffy'n I have been getting on better. Talking. Ok, mainly talking about Dawn, but it's a start. And it's something we have in common.

She's thinking about it, trying to decide what she should tell me. I'm shameless, and I allow the hurt to show on my face a little more than usual. She spots it, and there's a flash of guilt.

"Tonight," she starts, hesitantly, "before you got here, Riley and Sam came round."

"Oh," I say, getting up out of my chair. Riley's deigned to show himself, and Buffy's back to wishing she'd never let him go. Wait a minute.

"Who's Sam?"

"Don't you know?" she asks, astonishment on her face.

She must realise that I really don't know, because she continues. "Sam's Riley's wife."

Whoa. Now, there's a little snippet that I missed. "Since when?"

"I'm not sure. Since before the last time he came."

"So, when he came back last time, he was already married?"

"Yeah, didn't Buffy tell you?"

I laugh, but there's no humour in it. "No, she didn't. I admit I was surprised she didn't get back with him then, but I never thought … Of course, she was busy telling me that whatever we had was over."

I think about that. The idea that Riley didn't try to get Buffy back during his last visit is kind of hard to believe. I thought that was behind his relish at finding me with those eggs. When he left, I assumed she had told him she wasn't interested. I was surprised, but, well, maybe her taste improved.

"So," I reason, "if she already knew he was married, and he turned up here with his wife, why did that upset her?"

I know one reason, that she still loves him, and the prospect is almost breaking my heart.

"Well, it was something Sam said. She talked about, you know, the eggs."

"Oh." Well, what else can I say? It was hardly my finest hour. I was thoroughly taken in by someone I thought was a mate. Well, I played poker with him. And, of course, Riley got hold of the wrong end of the stick, and given a choice of who to believe, Buffy was bound to believe Riley.

"She told Buffy that you weren't the Doctor, and that Riley knew that when he went to your crypt."

"Bloody hell!" I turn away as I say it. I can think of lots of other things to say, but not in front of Dawn.

"So, Buffy was angry at Riley, and I think she's feeling kinda guilty about you. Hence the strangeness."

I'm still not facing her. I don't want her to see me like this. Her voice continues. "But, you should have seen Sam! I don't think Riley's going to be experiencing any matrimonial bliss for a while."

I know I was stupid then. I trusted 'my mate', and I got done. Never even got paid the money I was promised. I don't even feel like I can face Dawn.

I don't know what's happened to my preternatural hearing. The next thing I know, Dawn's put a hand on my shoulder, and she's turning me around.

"Spike, it's ok," she's telling me. "What's wrong? Buffy knows you weren't trying to make money out of killing."

I don't talk, just walk towards the door. "Time you were in bed," I mumble, and go into the kitchen.

There was a time when Dawn would have stomped off in a fury at being dismissed that way. To my surprise, she follows me into the kitchen, puts her arms round my neck and kisses me on the cheek.

"Goodnight, Spike. It'll be ok, wait and see. She's just so stubborn, but she'll realise it in the end. She loves you. Maybe not as much as I do," she grins cheekily at me as she says that bit. "But she does love you."

I swipe at her arm as she retreats, and I know my voice is gruff. "Goodnight, Niblet."