Problems Keep ON Adding Up
Hellfire Club
Hank had been surprised to learn that Selene was known to Remy's adoptive father Henri LeBeau, apparently after the untimely demise of Candra she had been making inroads to acquiring control of the Guilds for herself. Hank thought that it was unlikely she would meet with such success, centuries of control by a psychotic female immortal wasn't something you wanted to repeat. Still she and Henri were good friends for reasons Hank could guess only too well and she assured him that this would be a quiet romantic dinner hopefully uninterrupted by Cassandra Nova, Sinister or any other enemies of the X-Men with an unhealthy interest in Hank.
"Perhaps first it might be best if we rounded up our missing Inner Circle members. I sent away Fitzroy, Creed and Russell and they have yet to return. Who knows what trouble they might be getting up to," suggested Hank.
"Good thought Hank. Let's see what the crystal ball tells me,"
Her spell revealed that Creed was presently engaged in his favorite activity, a bloody brawl with a certain feral and Jack was close by. Fitzroy was having a cup of coffee with Trish Tilby which pleased Selene greatly; she didn't mind what the reporter did as long as she stayed away from her Black King. Thinking quickly Selene decided the best course of action was to collect Jack and Creed first since that would give her another chance to see Logan again. This was probably not the best course of action to take since she had underestimated the danger posed by Trish, especially as she was out for revenge against Selene.
"Come my Black King, let us depart," said Selene activating her teleportation spell.
Sinister's Lair
Nathaniel Essex was not a very happy man at the moment, things had been going so well with Hank when Selene had to turn up and spoil everything. At this very moment Hank could have been taking his rightful place at Essex's right side adding his scientific genius and genetic expertise to his own. They would be working together as it was meant to be and nothing would have been beyond their grasp. Sinister could have finally realized his true dreams for mutant domination with the only man he considered his peer in that area. It would have been so wonderful but then Selene had shown up and blown him into little tiny pieces. Essex doubted that he'd get another chance to try and persuade Hank to join him for a very long time. Selene was going to make sure of that.
"Nathaniel Essex, I know that like me you have had certain problems with that witch Selene. My name is Cassandra Nova and I propose an alliance to deal with our mutual enemy,"
Sinister turned to see a bald woman looking like the twin of Charles Xavier and smiling winningly at him. She was wearing a little black dress and in Essex's eyes she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. She was powerful, evil, ruthless, psychotic and many other pleasant things. In short she was the woman of his dreams, the one he'd been waiting for so long. Looking into her eyes he saw she was thinking the same thing. She might have come looking for an ally against a common foe but she seemed quite taken with him. Essex had known the makeover would increase his pulling power.
"Yes my dear we shall deal with Selene but I would like to know more about the ally I will be working with. May I suggest dinner together, maybe even breakfast?"
"What a splendid idea! Where did you have in mind?" asked Cassandra smiling sweetly.
"I know this delightful place in New Orleans; Remy LeBeau recommended it to me while he was still working for me. It used to be owned by Candra."
Smiling Essex took Cassandra's hand in his own and they prepared to depart for New Orleans little knowing that their intended romantic destination was also the one chosen by Selene.
Harry's Hideaway
Most sensible people had long since fled the bar and even the most foolhardy were sheltering behind what was left of the furniture while Harry himself was sobbing quietly, head in hands behind his bar. The place now looked as though a bomb had gone off, two feral mutants and a furry gray werewolf/gorilla brawling proving a more than adequate substitute for total Armageddon. Tables, chairs, the pool table had all been reduced to splinters and even the front door had been shattered by McCoy flinging Creed straight through it. The brawl was continuing even now, none of the participants seeming to tire off it although all were decidedly battered.
"Well I beat ya three games out of five so do ya want ta try something different? How about Poker?" asked Jack?
"Alright then, or how about we try and estimate exactly how many thousands of pounds of damage has been caused by this little brawl?" suggested Scott.
They were sitting at one of only three intact tables, on two of the last remaining chairs contentedly sipping their beer seemingly oblivious to the carnage around them. This wasn't true but both had learnt not to let little things like rampaging ferals get to them, it was the only way to avoid going completely crazy in their line of work. Suddenly the bar went completely silent as Selene teleported and Jean Grey and Emma Frost appeared at the front door. They stood quietly watching as Creed, McCoy and Logan continued to fight on.
Jean Grey had a look of total exasperation, even disappointment at Logan getting into yet another fight with Creed for how many times had it been now, ten thousand or more? Emma was trying to look disapproving but taking a closer look you could see she was impressed by the way McCoy was handling himself even if she didn't openly condone the brawl. Both women looked across at Scott and gave him a nod; it seemed that he was in good books again probably for restricting his battle with Jack to the chessboard. Surprising how good the werewolf was at chess too. As for Selene she seemed to be enjoying the fight, nearly having a seizure when she saw Logan's shirt getting ripped. Finally Logan and Creed charged each other from opposite ends of the bar while McCoy came swinging down from the lampshade. There was a deafening thud as they collided, Creed went flying to crash down on the pool table, Logan ended up behind the bar where he helped himself to an unattended beer while McCoy, all three hundred plus pounds of him landed right on top of Scott and both of them demolished the chess table.
"You know ladies, nothing like watching a good brawl to get you all hot and bothered," purred Selene as Jean shot her a venomous glance.
"McCoy, Dark Beast I hope you're alright. Oh are you OK too Scott," asked Emma almost as an afterthought.
"I don't think I could be possibly more ashamed of you right now Logan, I mean if you have to brawl at least confine it to the Auger Inn rather than one of the only mutant friendly bars around," scolded Jean as she dragged Logan out from behind the bar by one of his muttonchops.
"Hey could ya kindly remove yer grip on my sideburns Jeannie, do ya know how much work it gets ta get them just so," growled Logan before yelping in pain as Jean tightened her grip.
McCoy sprang easily to his feet and dusted himself down; remarkably he seemed uninjured except for a now shredded shirt and some cuts and bruises. Checking Scott over for injuries he announced no broken bones although he thought Scott was in urgent need of a drink. Scott sighed heavily and contented himself with thoughts of a nice gray fur rug by the fireplace and the Dark Beast's head as a trophy on the wall. He would have hoped that McCoy would end up in trouble for getting involved in a barroom brawl but apparently the women were content to lay the blame squarely on Creed and Dark Beast and Wolverine were let of with a scolding and Logan even got a kiss of apology from Jean for pulling his hair.
"Scott I just want to say that I'm proud of you for resisting the urge to get involved in that little macho testosterone overdose display. Well done," said Jean kissing him.
"Yes it's good to know we can always rely on you to be the sensible one most of the time," added Emma kissing him.
"We'll have ta do this again some time mate, good playing chess with ya,"
"Yes Jack, say in a thousand years or so," Scott didn't think it best to say what he really wanted, no point in starting another brawl.
With that McCoy, Scott, Logan, Emma and Jean headed back for the mansion before any further trouble happened. Meanwhile Jack was shaking his head sadly as Selene advanced upon a cowering Sabretooth.
"I swear it was all the runts' fault I'm telling ya," whimpered Creed.
"I just want to say well done darling for providing me with such entertainment," purred Selene.
Then she turned to Jack.
"Now shall we see what Fitzroy's up too? No let's head back to the Club, Sabretooth could do with some cleaning up,"
If she'd known the damage Fitzroy was about to inflict on the Hellfire Club she would have gone and collected him there and then. Her mind though wasn't functioning as well as it should, she was still too distracted by the thoughts of the fight, how she loved seeing ferals in action and the upcoming dinner with Hank.
Trish Tilby's Apartment
Fitzroy was quite astonished to find someone with the patience to listen to his theories. Trish was a sympathetic listener and soon he was telling her everything, all his conclusions about the sexuality of his fellow Hellfire Club members, including some of Selene's favorite games, what he suspected Creed had been doing with the Crocodile Hunter, Bobby and Hank, Bobby and Jack, Hank and Creed and many more things, a few of which may even have been true but most of which were the result of his fevered imagination and warped mind. Of course a professional reporter never lets the truth get in the way of a good story and Trish thought that with all of this material she was sure to win a Pulitzer. She would gloss over the details involving Hank, she wished him no ill but as for Selene and the rest of them, revenge would be sweet indeed.
"Well honey, this will certainly be a great help to me. Meet me at my place later for coffee as I've got to dash now," chattered Trish as she gently but firmly escorted Fitzroy to the door.
Once outside Fitzroy suddenly realized what he had just done and he pulled half his beard out in his resulting agitation.
"Oh man, the others are going to kill me for this or even worse, I'll be made to join in Selene's games."
The mansion, later that evening
Xorn was feeling quite pleased with himself, the only additional casualty had been Beak who'd been punched by Logan once again after asking about Selene. Some of the female students had also needed sedatives after seeing Logan with a ripped shirt, Scott had needed some aspirin after being hit by a flying shoe after another argument between Emma and Jean over who got to kiss him and McCoy had needed some minor medical attention after being mobbed by students. Apart from that it had been a quiet afternoon and Blackheart had recovered sufficiently to be up and about. At present the demon was helping Xorn out in the infirmary putting medical supplies away and making beds.
"Xorn do you think I could stay on here, perhaps be a teacher or something. I could perhaps give embroidery lessons and I'm skilled in music and art."
"I think that would be a very good idea Blackheart. We'll just need to wait and see what the others say and I think we should perhaps wait awhile to ensure your full recovery from your nervous breakdown before exposing you to the students," replied Xorn.
In the kitchen Logan and McCoy were drinking yet more beer this time with Scott who had felt in need for a drink. Jean and Emma had gone off to do some shopping with promises for a nice evening out for all five of them. McCoy was just telling Scott and Logan all about some of his research which was on the verge of sending them into a coma. They were saved from this by an excited Beak rushing in, practically breathless with his excitement.
"Hey you'd better come and see this," he called leading them into the lounge.
The evening news was on the television and they just caught the headline 'Hellfire Club Revelation, Shameful Secrets of Selene' with Trish Tilby presenting it.
"This is an exclusive special report on what really goes on behind the respectable façade of the Hellfire Club, a social club for the wealthy and elite of society. In particular the so-called Black Queen Selene…………………."
When it was finally over Logan, Scott and McCoy exchanged horrified glances.
"Flamin hell."
"I really need the bathroom right about now."
"Curse my stars and garters; I'll never look at wooden spoons in quite the same way again."
Hellfire Club
When Fitzroy finally crept back to his room he found them waiting for him. Jack, Martinique, Creed, Yuriko and Bobby all of whom had just caught the news special and who were absolutely furious. Fitzroy gulped and waved nervously as he saw five pairs of eyes glaring at him and savage growls coming from deep in Creed and Jack's throat. Yuriko's adamantium talons were also pointed at the most tender portion of his anatomy making him feel very nervous indeed.
"Oh hi guys, listen about that, I can explain."
"We're going ta rip ya ta shreds bub!"
"Want to know what a snowman feels like, because you're about to find out."
"Yer really in fer it now mate."
"No mercy for you Fitzroy-san, gaijin dog that you are."
"I'll make your worst nightmare come true literally."
Fitzroy tried desperately to open a time portal but he was distracted by a particularly horrifying illusion sent by Mastermind, Creed and Jack grabbed hold of his arms by sinking their fangs into him, Yuriko extended her talons pinning him to the wall by his jacket while Bobby encased his boots in ice. Now completely helpless he waited for the end to come.
"I suppose you're going to kill me," sighed Fitzroy.
"No we're going to take you to the dungeons where we'll leave it to Bobby's devious cunning to come up with some suitable punishments for you," said Marti in a voice dripping with honeyed venom.
Fitzroy shivered a fate far worse than death awaited him.
New Orleans
"Well Hank here we are, what's the matter Hank?" asked Selene.
"Stars and garters, this is definitely a case of double trouble," growled Hank.
He pointed his clawed finger and Selene followed his gaze seeing Sinister and Cassandra Nova just entering the restaurant. She turned to Hank who nodded grimly.
"Well I think for once it might be best if we followed one of my ideas, now as a former Avenger I'm still welcome at the mansion, so why don't we go and pay my old friends a visit. Hank Pym, Steve Rogers and Tony Stark would probably be fascinated to meet you. Plus we've got one of the most powerful hero teams there is in case we get any unwelcome visitors," said Hank.
He scratched his furry chin thoughtfully, Selene seemed intrigued by his suggestion and with an enthusiastic nod she started another teleportation spell. Meanwhile Hank could see the all too familiar form of the Crocodile Hunter following close behind Essex and Nova. Hank ran his claws through his mane and couldn't help breaking into a fierce grin.
"Stars and garters, I could almost pity those two. That's if I didn't die laughing first at the thought of the trouble they're in for!"