Always Alison

Disclaimer: Don't own them, don't claim to.

Rating: Somewhere between PG13 and R -- perhaps some language, adult content, adult situations

Chapter Five

The Hotel

"Just out?" Rafe questioned taking in his wife's ragged appearance. "You look as though you've seen a ghost." That him moving towards her and grasping her upper arms. "Are you alright? Is it the baby?"

Livvie shook her head in an attempt to reassure Rafe. "I am just fine, so is the baby. I just exhausted myself doing too much today," she lied easily. "I just want to take a shower and lay down for a while." Without another word, Livvie detached herself from Rafe's hold and moved toward the bathroom. When she reached the door she turned and looked at him. "Will you be here when I get out?"

"Of course," he answered quickly, then watched her shut the bathroom door. Something was definitely off here. She didn't look like she was all right. Maybe he should take her to the hospital and have her looked over. With the decision made, Rafe went to the bathroom door and knocked upon it. When no one answered, Rafe called out, "Livvie?"

She was still dressed and standing before the mirror looking at herself. "Yeah?" She returned.

"I was thinking maybe I should take you to the hospital -- you know, have a doctor look over you and see if the baby is okay. You really don't look so good."

That had Livvie paling even more. "Uh, no Rafe, but thank you for telling me how awful I look. Just what a wife wants to hear from her husband."

His lips twitched into a slightly amused grin. "You know that's not what I meant. I'd just feel better hearing from a doctor that you and the baby are okay."

Livvie's heart began to thud in her chest. "Don't believe me, Rafe? I'm just fine, really. I think I would know more than anyone about my body and how I feel."

And she would, Rafe thought silently. But there was just something in him that wouldn't let this go. He wanted to hear from a doctor that -- what? -- Livvie was pregnant? The thought shocked him. He had at one time thought that Livvie could be mistaken and there was no baby, but then she took that pregnancy test. A pregnancy test Alison told him she could have faked.

Laying his head against the bathroom door, Rafe's eyelids slipped shut as he pictured Alison's face the night she found out Livvie was pregnant. She looked as though he and Livvie had stole the very breath from her lungs and then kicked her until she bled. Amongst the slightly elated feeling he had been having at the idea of becoming a father, Rafe felt horrible at the pain that had been written in Alison's eyes. That image would now be forever locked in his brain and it would be something he would never forget.

The sound of the shower turning on brought Rafe from his thoughts and back to the matter at hand. He wanted to take Livvie to the hospital and have her checked out. They hadn't visited a doctor since Livvie realized she was pregnant and it high time they should. Just for his piece of mind.

Walking away from the bathroom door, Rafe headed over to the bed and lay down upon it. As he settled his head down against one of the pillows, he sighed heavily. There was so much going on inside of his head. It was as if he never stopped thinking or trying to remember or digesting information people told him. He was a highly intelligent man -- or at least he'd like to think of himself as one -- and there was just so much coming at him right now, it was hard to decipher the truth. People telling him that he and Livvie were never together, but Livvie assuring him that no one knew. Even his cousin -- his cousin said that he and Livvie were never together.

That has his blue eyes slipping to the bathroom door. Livvie had told him he had had no family. But there was Lucy -- a vibrant woman, so full of life. How could Livvie not have mentioned her? It would be understandable if Livvie didn't know Lucy or didn't know that she was his cousin, but it wasn't like that. Lucy was married to Livvie's father so there was no good reason why Livvie couldn't have told him. But this shouldn't be a surprise to him since there were a lot of things that didn't add up with Livvie's version of "their story".

The only question was what was he going to do about it? He wasn't about to start taking one person's word over his wife's. Okay it was more than one person, but Livvie was his wife and he had to trust her. But just trusting her word, which was shaky at best, wasn't good enough anymore. It was time he did a little researching into his life. Like finding out what exactly happened over the last ten years that he couldn't recall.

Rafe slowly sat up on the bed and began nodding his head. Yes, this sounded good. He knew about his entire existence from the moment he could recall memories to his life up until ten years ago. It was only these past ten years that he couldn't recall. So, what was the best way to discover it -- go back to the source? That would mean going back to Transylvannia. But could he get away with Livvie newly pregnant? He could always take her with him, but would she want to go? Did he want her to go?

When Livvie slipped out of the bathroom she had a prepared story all ready to tell Rafe about her behavior, but by the look on his face he was preoccupied with something else. She walked up to the bed and gazed down at him. He was very deep in thought and whatever he was thinking had his eyes lit up with something she had never seen before. Excitement or eagerness -- something. She had seen him happy and filled with joy, but this look was something different.

"Rafe, honey, what are you thinking about?"

The sound of Livvie's voice had his head snapping up into her direction. "I didn't hear you come out of the bathroom."

Her dark eyes roamed over his face as she sat down upon the bed beside him. "I saw that. Where were you lost at?"

"Lost?" He questioned, slightly confused but then it dawned upon him what she meant. "Oh! Well, I was thinking about the last ten years of my life."


What resembled fear mixed with a healthy dose of shock shuddered across Livvie's face. "You-you've been thinking about the past ten years? Does that mean you remember?"

His brow drew together and he grinned in that usual quirky way of his that relayed that he was confused. "Remember? No, I haven't remembered anything. If I had, you'd have been the first to know."

That had Livvie swallowing with great unease. "Why would you say it like that?"

"Say it like what?" Now he was really confused.

"That -I- would be the first to know if you remembered. I mean you sounded accusatory." Livvie then rose from the bed and began to wring her fingers together. She needed to reign in this sudden feeling coursing through her like she had just been caught red handed in her lies. But the fact of the matter was she hadn't been -- not yet anyway. And Rafe could remember anything he damn well please, but he had to wait until after she was pregnant, because once she was he would never leave. Which if she had anything to say about it -- it would be soon.

"I didn't mean to make it sound as though I was accusing you of anything," Rafe amended gently, his eyes following Livvie's endless pacing. "I just meant that if I remembered anything at all from my past you would be the first person I shared it with."

A small grin toyed with the corner of Livvie's mouth as she looked at Rafe again. "Oh," she breathed out. "Of course that's what you meant. I'm sorry I took it the way I did, I don't even know why I did. I think I'm just tired, it's been a really long day today and I think I'm grouchy."

Rafe stood from the bed and went to Livvie's side. "Would you like to lay down for a bit and get some rest?"

Her head shook with acceptance as she announced, "I think I just may. You going to lay down with me?"

He had too much on his mind to sleep right now. What he wanted to do at the moment was go research the past ten years of his life. "I, uh, am too buzzed with energy to lay down right now. But you go ahead and I'll just go sit over here on this chair and do some thinking."

As Livvie laid down upon the bed she frowned. "What are you going to think about? Surely you're not regretting marrying me and having this baby. Rafe, I thought we settled that already."

"We did and that's not what this is about." Well, not entirely.

"You're sure?"

Rafe walked over to the side of the bed, pulled the blankets up over Livvie and he smiled with what he hoped looked like reassurance. "I'm positive. Just close your eyes and get some rest. Don't worry about what's on my mind, because I'm not."

He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but when Livvie's breathing had evened out and it was apparent she was asleep, Rafe scribbled a note to tell his wife where he was heading and then left the hotel room. He wasn't exactly sure where he would start his search for his past, but he supposed he could start with his cousin Lucy. She could fill in some details for him, like how they met, when it was they met and what brought him to Port Charles.

Later…

The Lighthouse

Lucy stared at Rafe with her arms folded across her bare midriff, watching him carefully. "So, Cuz, not trusting anything your little woman tells you anymore?" The frown Rafe threw at her told her that she had crossed the line, which was fine by her. Lucy knew, heck, everyone knew, that Rafe belonged with Alison it was time he realized it.

"Okay, not that I don't like spending time with you, but what are you doing here?"

Rafe ran his hands through his unruly hair and sighed. "I need for you to fill in some blanks for me. Such as when we met, how it was that we met, and if you know what brought me here to Port Charles."

Her eyebrow lifted slightly. "Well," she drew out slowly, "it was in Transylvannia. You saved me from Caleb and making a long story short you informed me that we were cousins and were slayers." Lucy smiled at the memory and then chuckled softly. "It was quite an experience, I wish you could remember it. Then as for your coming to Port Charles, I'm sure you driven here to help us defeat Caleb."

Caleb. Rafe frowned, desperately trying to search his memory for the events Lucy talked about. But all he came up with was blackness. "I take it we defeated Caleb then?"

"Sure did. Livvie had a hand in that, of course she had a hand in everything that was evil around that time," Lucy muttered beneath her breath. "I'm surprised she hasn't told you about any of this."

"I guess she wants me to remember it on my own." His face then contorted into a frown of confusion. "Then again she's filled me in a lot of our past together, not much else."

Lucy drummed her fingers over her mouth, trying to keep herself from blurting out what a big fat liar Livvie was. But, as always, she couldn't help herself. "Did you ever stop to think about any of this Rafe? I mean really think about what you were doing after Livvie told you about you and her? When in fact there was never a 'you and her'!" Rafe opened his mouth to stop her, but Lucy hurried on. "Listen to me, Cuz, I only say this because I love you and you are my family. You really stepped in it this time. You took the word of some woman over the word of everyone else, and before anyone else could tell you she was fabricating a history for you -- you married the girl."

"She's my wife, Lucy," Rafe warned in a low voice. "Don't talk about her like that."

"Like what -- like what a liar she is?" She questioned as she moved about her living room. "Listen to me Rafe, please. Think about everything Livvie has told you since you woke up in that forest not remembering a thing. Then think about what everyone else has said to you, including Alison, Jack, Jamal and myself. And anyone else who knew you and Livvie."

Rafe bolted up off the couch he was sitting on and began moving toward the door. "I didn't come here for you to bad mouth my wife, Lucy. I came here for you to fill in gaps for me so I can find out about the last ten years of my life."

As Rafe's hand landed upon the doorknob, Lucy -- fighting against her better judgement -- opened her mouth and announced, "You won't find anything anywhere on the past ten years of you life -- because you weren't here." She watched her cousin turn around to face her, confusion written upon his face. "You weren't here," Lucy repeated softly.

"What do you mean I wasn't here? Here as in Port Charles?"

Both of her hands curled into fists and she bit her lower lip. She shouldn't be saying anything at all. He needed to remember his memories on his own and force feeding to him that he was an angel wasn't going to help him any at all. "No -- well, yes, you weren't here in Port Charles. Rafe think, really -think-, about the last thing you remember. Think about what you were doing. Think of whom you were with. What you were doing with the last ten years of your life lies within remembering that time."

Rafe looked at Lucy for a minute then came to stand before her, eyeing her suspiciously. "Quit speaking in riddles and just tell me what you know, Lucy, because it sounds like you know where I was and what I was doing the past ten years."

Lucy nodded her head and swallowed. "I know what you were doing. Alison knows what you were doing. I'm pretty sure Livvie knows. But only the three of know where you were and what you were doing, and you'll be hard pressed to get any one of us to tell you."

~*~

TO Be Continued…