Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men Evolution. I do however own the characters Nick Seer, Rachel Baron, Monica Doe, Victor Regal, Brad Rach (that's me ^_^) and Jill Ricardo.
A/N: Well I had fun doing this chapter, I love humor ^_^
"Banzai!" Todd Tolansky screamed as he jumped onto a toboggan and slid down a hill. The only thing odd about this, was that he was inside, and it hasn't a hill, it was a flight of stairs covered in snow. Todd rounded the corner, but such a sharp 180 turn is hard to make on a toboggan, so he crashed into the wall. A blast of snow hit Todd as Brad Rach came to a stop on his snow board.
"Out of all the stupid, maniacal, crazed stuff you guys have ever done, this is the coolest." Brad laughed.
"Look Out!" The cry came from above. Brad dived out of the way as Pietro came out of a copter-like upside down spin and landed right in front of the two.
"Your ski jumping?" Todd was surprised.
"A free fall down five floors gives me just enough time. I am the champ."
"Look out!" Fred smashed into the three others with his GT, ending up in a heap of tangled, skis, snow boards, and people.
The four got to their feet as the bellow of a 'OH CRAP' rung at a ear-burst volume. Nick Seer on a metal orbit flew straight of the stairs above them and smashed into the wall.
"Oh that hurts so much." Nick groaned lying on the snow.
"So does our ears." Brad whined.
"Sorry, I lose control when I panic, but it really comes in handy to warn people."
"Or scare away any deer in the vicinity." Pietro grumbled.
"I figured you guys were the cause of this." Nick laughed getting to his feet.
"Yeah that's us." Todd nodded.
"I won't even ask how you caused it, but where is Lance?"
"It was hard for him to train in the office." Brad explained. "So Victor took him for a week long session in the forest."
"Ouch, a week with Victor, poor Lance." Nick sighed.
"Poor Victor." Pietro chuckled to himself.
*~Elsewhere~*
"Ok Alvers, do you know how to set up a tent?" Victor asked Lance. The two were in the middle of the forest, Lance's jeep was not far from them and they had gear unpacked and ready to be set up.
"No sir." Lance said mocking a military fashion.
"That will be one of your lessons. Go find water."
"You forgot to bring some sir? That is very bad planning sir." Lance laughed.
"I did not forget soldier, this is training, you must learn to find supplies in the worst circumstances." Victor sneered.
"Yes sir, I will dig for water."
"Very good- what? Dig?" Victor's question was answered as a whole in the ground opened up dirt began getting tossed up. Soon the sound of water dripping was heard.
"Mission done sir!" Lance saluted.
"Alright Alvers, now how do you get the water from a thirty food chasm without rope?" Lance grinned and took of his shoe's, vest, and shirt.
"Don't do it Alvers!" Victor groaned as Lance dived into the chasm with a bucket. The inevitable splash was heard and Victor looked down to see Lance in the water. "Ok, now how do you get out." Lance grinned.
"Easy." Lance placed his hands on one of the walls and the ground began to shake. Jagged pieces of rock cut out of the wall, making a perfect ladder. Lance grabbed the bucket and cautiously walked out of the chasm and handed the bucket to Victor. "Make sure to boil it first.' Lance said smugly.
"Ok Alvers, first lesson, identify your surroundings before you do something stupid." Victor pointed twenty yards from the camp to a stream easily seen through the trees.
"If you want to take the hard way out of things its fine with me, I'll get some fire wood." Lance shrugged and walked off, while Victor put up the tent.
*~Back at the HQ~*
"Ten o' clock!" Brad screamed at the top of his lungs. A flurry of seven bullets flew at a target in the basic weapons training hall. "Twelve o' clock." A target sprung up just as bullets flew from six different guns, however Fred's was shot behind the group, beating into the metal plated door. "I am so glad we installed that." Brad sighed.
"Sorry." Fred handed Brad the gun, which was twisted and near no use anyway.
"With the kickback Fred, go with the pressure, and that was six o' clock."
"Yeah I kinda assumed that when you were the only thing behind me."
"I am just glad you didn't aim at me." Brad nodded.
"Actually the gun was just pointed off target because the barrel was twisted from the kickback."
"And to think I gave up combat because a desk job sounded safer." Brad groaned.
*~Back at elsewhere~*
"Well sir, I think I'm ready to start training." Lance was standing in his battle uniform.
"You know in that thing you actually look like you know what you're doing." Victor rolled his eyes. "There is a enemy base suspected two hundred yards, right under that large pine tree." Victor pointed to a tree that stuck out from top the others.
"There is?" Lance looked confused.
"Not really, its just a scenario." Victor groaned.
"So your lying to me?"
"No I'm not lying."
"So you suspect there really is a base over there?"
"Oh who cares!" Victor shouted.
"Well I'm sure if there is a enemy base there, the enemy sure cares about it." Lance stated.
"Just uproot that tree and see if you here any commotion." Victor stressed.
"Alright boss." Lance jammed the spikes coming from his suit's arms into the ground. The ground rumbled and the tree tipped over, while Lance listened carefully.
"Nothing sir, Lance Alvers, reporting no enemy over there, sir." Lance shouted and saluted.
"Well Alvers if you are so sure, why don't we check it out."
"Yeah alright." Lance walked through the bush, pushing away branches and swatting flies. He finally made his way to the clearing where the tree was. "I don't believe it." Lance was looking at Principle Kelly, on the ground crying while the giant tree lay on his car. "Well, at least it wasn't exactly my fault this time." Lance gulped as he hurriedly made his way back to Victor.
"Well?"
"The enemy is defeated."
*~Back at the apartment~*
"Was Alvers what kept all you sane?" Jill gasped as she watched Pietro, Monica, Todd, Rachel, Nick, and Remy play a game of twister, with a mat on the ground, a mat on the ceiling, and one on each wall.
"Oh let them have fun." Brad said walking up beside her. "They aren't breaking anything."
"Ok Remy, Left leg red ceiling" Fred called out has he spun one of the four twister boards. Remy, who was already on his hands, with one leg on yellow on the left wall, put his other leg on red, where Rachel's hand was.
"Oh! You idiot!" Rachel cried as she yanked her hand from under his foot. Remy tipped backwards and fell onto Pietro, and Rachel walked backwards, and stepped on Monica's foot. She grabbed her foot and hopped, right into Todd who was hunched over, and sent him flying into Brad's apartment, where a large crash was heard.
"Ok, you're paying for that!" Brad growled
"... who's fault really was that?" Fred asked confused.
*~Back in elsewhere~*
"So I said, hey buddy, if you don't like what I'm talking about, why don't you... I forgot." Victor slurred. He had a large bottle of scotch in his hand, and was now laughing hysterically while Lance watched in annoyance.
"Isn't it irresponsible to get drunk when you are supposed to be watching me?" Lance asked.
"You are right, I haven't offered you any." Victor threw him the bottle.
*~Back in elsewhere... the next morning~*
"Keep it down birds." Lance cried as he held his head in pain.
"Keep it down yourself." Victor said weakly.
"Stop shouting." Lance groaned.
"Only when the forest stops spinning, and you get both of you together."
"Will we still train with a hangover?"
"I don't have a hangover, I'm just recovering from being drunk."
"Whatever, do we train?"
"Hell no, you are good enough already, we will train in the morning."
"It is the morning."
"The other morning!"
"You mean tomorrow."
"Yeah that one."