The Substitute
The next morning, when Snape wasn't at breakfast, Jenova couldn't help smiling a little with satisfaction. Maybe now he'd see how he liked it.
"Excuse me, Jenova," Dumbledore said, standing up from his place at the table. "Could I speak to you for a moment privately?"
"Of course, headmaster," Jenova said, pushing away her plate. "Is something the matter?" She followed him out to the hallway, then down the hall to the entrance to the dungeons. "Headmaster?"
"It seems that Severus is going to be unable to attend his lessons today," Dumbledore said, pushing open the door to the Potions classroom. "And he requested that I ask if you would mind filling in for the day."
"Me?"
"Yes. He was quite insistent that you take the job."
"But what about my own classes?" Flushed with the knowledge that Snape had actually recommended her to teach his Potions lesson, Jenova wasn't sure what she should say. "I mean, my students have an assignment to hand in and…"
"Professor Sinistra has already agreed to teach your lessons today. Being that you are both teaching upper level classes, the schedule will work out quite nicely. Do you have any questions?" His eyes twinkling, Dumbledore looked down at Jenova, who was already rifling through Snape's papers, trying to figure out what she was supposed to be teaching the class.
"Yes, just one. Where did Severus go?"
"I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to discuss that topic," said Dumbledore, his eyes becoming quite serious. "Perhaps it is best if you ask him yourself when he returns. I'm sure he will be coming to you for a full report on what transpired in class."
"Yes, sir." Jenova watched the headmaster leave the room, then looked around at the empty chairs. It wasn't like Snape to miss class…she had only known him a few months and she knew that much. And he wanted her to fill in?
Something suddenly clicked in Jenova's mind, and she started out of the room to pick up Valtier and Piama. This was probably what he was trying to tell her the night before when she walked out on him.
When she returned, most of her class had already filled their seats and she surveyed the room quickly. Slytherins and Gryffindors, she knew that at first glance, but it wasn't until she spotted Hermione that she realized that it was the fifth year students.
"All right, then, settle down," she said as she walked up to the podium and put her bird cage down. "As I'm sure you have already guessed, I am not Professor Snape. He is unavailable today, so I will be teaching your lesson. Some of you may already know me," Jenova said, smiling at Hermione warmly. "I am Professor Verdana, and I dare say that I know almost as much about Potions as Professor Snape does, so don't be afraid to ask me any questions."
"That's a change for this class," Ron mumbled under his breath, and Jenova turned on him.
"Yes? Was there something you wanted to say, Mr. Weasley?"
"No, ma'am," he said, turning red.
"Very well then. I see from these papers that you have been studying Sealing Solutions, so I suppose a quick review is in order before we move on to the actual potion making." Looking around the room, she smiled. "Who in here would like to tell me why we would need to use a Sealing Solution?" No one made a move to answer, and she pointed at Neville. "Can you tell me, Mr. Longbottom?"
"M-me?" Neville looked around, just in case there might be another Mr. Longbottom hiding in the room, and a muffled laugh went through the Slytherin half of the class.
"Quiet," Jenova said sharply, looking in their direction. "Let him answer."
"To uh…to seal something?" Neville looked warily at her, as if she was about to bite his head off, and Jenova nodded.
"Mr. Longbottom is correct," she said with a smile. "Two points for Gryffindor. Now, can someone please explain why one would use a Sealing Solution over a Sealing Charm." Shifting her eyes over to where Malfoy and his compatriots were whispering to one another, she smiled. "Mr. Crabbe?"
"Uh…uh…" Crabbe looked up, shocked that she had called on him. Instantly, Hermione's voice piped up from the other side of the room.
"Because in some instances, the use of a charm wouldn't exactly be prudent. Also, a charm could be broken by a wizard who knew the counter charm while the antagonist for a solution would require time to make up." Sounding as though she was reciting her lines, Hermione smiled up at Jenova.
"That is correct, Miss Granger, but I would prefer if you would wait until you are called upon to speak." Striding across the room, Jenova folded her arms behind her back. "Now that we are clear on the general purpose and use of a Sealing Solution, it falls to all of you to create one of your own." She motioned to the blackboard, where she had already written the necessary ingredients for the potion. "Please prepare your ingredients and begin brewing your potions. I will come around and check them as you do so." Looking out the window, Jenova saw that it looked like it was about to rain. It would probably be a good idea to go set up the cauldron so she could distill some of the water for potion making. "If you'll excuse me, class, I will be right back."
As soon as she was gone, the class began to talk amongst themselves. Neville had the best things to say about her, since he had never even spoken in Potions class before, but Hermione looked a little miffed.
"You're just mad because she wasn't in love with your answer," Ron said, carefully sectioning off his moss rose leaves. "She's more like McGonagall, that one."
"Well it was obvious that Crabbe wasn't going to answer," Hermione said, sounding put out as she checked the temperature of her cauldron. "I thought I was doing her a favor."
Jenova returned just as the class was beginning to add their ingredients to the cauldrons, and she made a quick pass through the desks on her way up to her podium. Upon passing Neville, she frowned into the cauldron.
"Is it…supposed to be that pink?" Neville's voice was tiny as Jenova ladled some of the potion out and examined it carefully.
"Pink. No, it's not supposed to be pink at all. Exactly how many ingredients did you add already?"
"Just one. I'm sorry." Neville looked as if he were about to burst into tears. "I…It's just that I'm so bad at this…"
"Oh, stop that." Shaking her head, Jenova sat across from him and cleared out his cauldron with a wave of her wand. "Now, let's take this one step at a time and see if we can't figure out what you did wrong." She looked over the ingredients that were scattered across his table and smiled. "Now, first things first. What temperature did you heat your water to before you began?"
"I'm…not sure. It was boiling…"
"Now there's part of your problem. The water was a bit too hot. Now, if you just…" Behind her back, Jenova could hear whispering from the other side of the room and snapped her fingers as she pointed at Malfoy. "Your mind should be on your own potion, Mr. Malfoy," she said without even turning around.
It was silent for a few moments before Jenova heard something that sounded distinctly like someone mumbling something about 'if Professor Snape were here,' and she felt what was left of her temper quickly draining away.
"Yes, I'm aware of how Professor Snape usually deals with you," she said, standing up and walking over to Malfoy's desk with her arms folded. "However, I'll let you in on a little secret. He's not here today. I am. And I will not tolerate that sort of rudeness in my class. This is your warning, Mr. Malfoy." Jenova turned to go back and check on Neville again, but was interrupted by a voice that this time made no attempt to disguise itself.
"But it's not your class, is it?" The room was as silent as a morgue as Jenova turned slowly to look at Malfoy with eyes whose fierceness rivaled those of a hippogriff.
"At the moment it is. And at this moment I am giving you a detention and taking ten points from Slytherin. I might also remind you, Mr. Malfoy, that your head of house is out at the moment and the headmaster might not be as forgiving of you when I take you to speak to him." There was no reply to this from Malfoy, who gave her the most hateful look he could muster. Turning back to Neville, the smile returned to Jenova's face as she stood over his cauldron. "Now. Where were we?"
* * *
Later that evening, Jenova was dragging herself up the stairs to Dumbledore's office as she rubbed her temples as hard as she dared. This was insanity. No wonder he had told her she would need all her strength. It was as if his classes were out to get her.
With her hand on the doorknob, she was just about to open it when she could hear Dumbledore speaking to someone inside. Not wanting to overhear someone else's conversation, she started to turn away but stopped again as she heard Snape's voice replying. Feeling a small sense of déjà vu, she leaned against the door, wondering when he had gotten back.
"…know that she is alive, and that she is here. The owl was sent with orders to give the paper only to her, so…" His voice became softer, as if he was moving away from the door, and Jenova bit her lip as she pressed her ear harder to the wood. "…beginning to wonder if it is prudent to continue keeping her here. It could put the students, and indeed all of us, in danger."
"There is some truth in what you suggest," agreed Dumbledore. "But why is it so important for them to find her? It cannot be simply because she escaped their grasp."
"It seems that there were some pages missing from the end of the book," Snape said, and Jenova felt herself grow very cold. "Pages that may or may not have an impact on whether or not this book is even valuable to the Death Eaters." Having heard enough, Jenova turned away from the door and started down the stairs.
So she was right. They knew she was here, and that she had the pages. She hadn't expected them not to notice, but it seemed like it was beginning sooner than she had thought it would. Walking slowly back toward the faculty tower, she ran her fingers along the cold stone wall of the castle, savoring for a moment the roughness of the bricks against her fingertips.
Unlocking the room of her door, she closed it behind her and went to the tall, circular cage she kept Piama and Valtier in when they were in her room. Their door was open, and she reached inside to pick them both up in one hand. One of her favorite songs came into her head, and she sat on the bed with them.
"Tonight I'm so tired of trying. Tonight I'm so tired of being alone. I can't sleep. I can't think. I can't be what they need. I need someone to hold me. I need someone who knows me…*" Softly, she sang the words to the tiny bodies, who snuggled against her cupped palms as tears began to well up in her eyes. There was a knock on her door that stopped her abruptly and sent her arm brushing the tears from her eyes. "Yes? Who is it?"
"It's me," Snape's familiar voice said to her, and she sighed. Did she really have the strength to talk to him tonight?
"Come in," she said, returning her birds to their cage. The door opened slowly, and she walked over to greet him. "I see you've returned."
"Yes. I trust that lessons went well in my absence?"
"As well as could be expected, I suppose." Going over to the desk in her room, Jenova picked up the notes she had made during classes. "Gave several detentions and pretty much killed the first year students' good impression of me." She held them out to him, and noticed that he reached for them with his left hand instead of his right. "Is something wrong with your arm?"
"It's not important," Snape said curtly, pulling his right arm further into his black robes, and Jenova shook her head.
"That's not what I asked. Let me see it." She held out a hand, but he only looked at her as if he hadn't heard. "My God, Severus, you're acting just like one of the children." Reaching over, she grabbed his arm and pushed up the sleeve despite his efforts to pull away. "Stop that."
"I don't need your help."
"You never do." Jenova frowned as she saw a large, ugly burn just above his wrist. Snape's pale skin only served to make the bright red burn look worse than it was, and she looked back up at him. "What happened here?"
"I really don't think that's any of your business." Snape tried once again to pull away from her, but Jenova was stronger than she looked.
"Fine, don't tell me. But I can't just let you leave it like this." Conjuring up a small first aid kit, she dragged him over to the comfy chair she had put in front of her fireplace, where a small blaze was already crackling away. "Sit down, please." Deciding it was easier to indulge her than spend the rest of the night arguing with her, Snape did as she asked, and Jenova knelt on the rug in front of him, holding his arm.
"This is really very unnecessary," he began, but Jenova shook her head.
"Just be quiet and let me work." Unscrewing the lid of a brownish tinted ointment, she examined the burn closely. "I think it's not too bad. Just a superficial one. I'll just wrap it up and put some of this ointment on it." Gently pressing on the burn, she looked up. "Does this hurt?" There was no response, as Snape was being as stoic as ever, and she sighed. "It's like talking to a brick wall," Jenova grumbled under her breath, dipping her fingertips into the jar.
Very lightly, she began to smooth the ointment over the burn on his arm, keeping her eyes on her work so she wouldn't have to try and talk to him. Her touch was extremely light, and the firelight flickered on her profile as Snape tried to endure her just long enough for her to release his arm.
"Severus? Where did you go today?" Moving on from the ointment to the bandages, Jenova took a moment to look up at him, asking the question that had been on her mind most of the day.
"I hope you'll understand if I tell you I don't want to discuss it," Snape said, watching her tie the end of the bandage in a knot. As soon as she let go of his arm, he stood up and pulled his sleeve down over it as Jenova's eyes searched his face. "It's really much better if you don't get into it."
"Does it have something to do with You-Know-Who?" Her eyes tried to meet his gaze, but he was quite adept at avoiding her.
"I said I don't want to discuss it." Snape headed directly for the door, and Jenova pushed herself off the rug and grabbed her notes from class.
"Don't forget these," she said, holding the parchment out as a sort of olive branch. "We…covered a lot of material in today's lessons." Giving her a look that said he knew what she was trying to do, Snape grabbed the papers out of Jenova's hand and narrowed his eyes at her.
"You shouldn't listen at doors," he said simply, opening her door and stepping out into the hallway. "Good night, Jenova."
"Um, good night." She watched as he closed the door behind him, then wrapped her arms around herself. Despite the fire, she was feeling quite cold.
Voldemort knew where she was.
She had to hurry.
* Song Lyrics are Copyright of Laura Dawn, 2002